Comments on: 37 pounds.

By: joodyb

joodyb — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 22:21:48 +0000

thank you for the most entertainment i’ve had in weeks. only confirms the fact that i have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old male.

By: Jason

Jason — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 17:46:16 +0000

> I was mildly astonished at the trailer for The Road To Wellville, which
> included a snippet of a scene in which Dr. Kellogg (played by
> Anthony Hopkins; apparently the real-life Kellogg–yes, the corn
> flakes guy–was every bit as nutty) is “prescribing�? something like a
> gallon of yogurt to Matthew Broderick’s character, who protests that
> he can’t possibly eat that much. “Oh, it’s not going in that end,�?
> quoth Hopkins. Thank you, Alan Parker & Co., for that mental image.

I didn’t see the movie, but the novel “Road to Wellville,” by T.C. Boyle is surreal, bizarre and (at times) crying, snorting, pounding-your-fist-on-the-floor funny. It’s historical fiction, but it supposedly accurately captures the doctor behind the “Kellogg Sanitarium” in Battle Creek.

(I believe it was his brother, W.K. Kellogg, who started the cereal factory, and in Boyle’s version, Dr. John Kellogg detests him because he adds frivolous items — like raisins — to the cereals.)

By: Beastman

Beastman — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 16:54:12 +0000

I had a colonoscopy a while back and got to watch the whole thing on the screen. What I found interesting was that, after hearing for years about how the colon gets crudded up, and coating with toxins etc (like the inside of an old car engine, or a sewer pipe, to name two of the favorite analogies) and must be periodically cleaned, that mine after just a day of purging to get ready, using cheap over-the-counter products, was squeaky-clean and pink. So even if one accepts that it needs occasional flushing, extended purges, diets or elaborate colonics would seem to be unecessary.

By: Jane

Jane — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 02:49:55 +0000

Thank you, Randy. I appreciate that.

“Colonique” made me laugh out loud at a very inopportune time.

By: Dorothy

Dorothy — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 01:34:48 +0000

Just when I think Nancy has covered every interesting topic under the sun .…

By: Rich B

Rich B — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 21:56:33 +0000

I wonder if I’ll ever be famous enough that people will care how impacted my colon is when I die.

I’ll care Jane, for all the little people.

By: alex

alex — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 20:20:21 +0000

Not sure I’d want to take my yogurt that way, but I remember reading a fascinating article about how tobacco was first taken in Europe and colonial America after it was discovered in the New World. Yes. The mucous membranes down there made it deliver quite a thrill. (Maybe not a bad idea for those who want to conceal their chaw habit. At least the brown stains won’t give you away.)

By: mary

mary — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 19:22:11 +0000

“…and died with what was surely the world’s cleanest large intestine.”

Unlike Elvis.

By: nancy

nancy — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:59:16 +0000

I remember reading that about Princess Di. Some people find the browneye to be an erogenous zone, so I guess I can see how one might enjoy a little recreational cleanse, but what about the long-term effects? Your colon has a job to do, and if you’re always helping it along, so to speak, aren’t you going to be messing up the works?

Also, this reminds me of a story I have in a file labeled “weird,” about a guy who died in a colonics establishment (called, sweetly, Colonique). Police estimate his buttshower was administered at approximately the same pressure as a firehose. He perforated, went septic, and died with what was surely the world’s cleanest large intestine.

By: Tom

Tom — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:35:20 +0000

Randy: To this day, I think of an, um, especially productive session on the Porcelain Vortex as a "Super Colon Blow." Phil Hartman's legacy endures! If there's anything that gives credence to any of Freud's theories, it's the ongoing obsession that some people have with their butts, what comes out of them, and what they decide to put in them. Even given the continued reliance of a certain segment of the American cinema on toilet humor, I was mildly astonished at the trailer for The Road To Wellville, which included a snippet of a scene in which Dr. Kellogg (played by Anthony Hopkins; apparently the real-life Kellogg--yes, the corn flakes guy--was every bit as nutty) is "prescribing" something like a gallon of yogurt to Matthew Broderick's character, who protests that he can't possibly eat that much. "Oh, it's not going in that end," quoth Hopkins. Thank you, Alan Parker & Co., for that mental image.