Wasn’t it Wolf that cowered and wet his pants when Arthur Kent stood up on the Baghdad rooftop? What a sorry excuse for a human being. And now he’s going to take on Charles Barkley? Could we get the Ann Coulter installment? The perfect anti-Clemens, and Chuck used to be a Republican.

I think I write pretty well, at times, , and it’s the dark art of weblogs that makes me get flippant and somewhat untidy. Otherwise, I’d say I was a model of editorial decorum. Tell you what. Take a read in Rolling Stone of this guy trying to be Hunter Thompson and Ralph Nader at the same time. That would be Matt Taibbi.He won’t like it. He hates everything.

I can tell those spirits one from another blindfolded, and I’ve tended bar too. And if I moved too fast and loose, which I doubt I did, glad to see you’re keeping me up to standards. I seriously doubt there’s a cultural or political connection I made that’s very difficult to follow. If you’ve made even the slightest effort, I appreciate that, and you’re decidedly welcome to point out at any time how insufferable an asshole I am.

And, Dexter, birding on the Platte, tremendous. Only thing better would be crashing around like an idiot in gaiters with a fly-cast hookup, and soaking up the birds’ disdain, to reinforce my indelible human-ness.

uh, yeah, MJ, as a (former) bartender of some standing, I DO know the difference between bourbon and sour mash, and my appreciation of such things is sound enough, thank you. I only mentioned them in the same sentence because Alex spoke of same in his post.

And, yes, you’ll have to buy the drinks, LOTS of them, if that meeting ever takes place, if only to endure getting my arms around your thousand degrees of seperation on steroids/Burton/Bonds/Nancy Reagan/newspaper names/chimp presidents/whatthefuckever.

Did you actually write like that as an actual working reportalist??

If you want to get right down to it, the most audacious paper was Colonel Lebbeus Zevely’s The Unterrified Democrat published in Linn, Missouri, in 1866, and the newspaper is still published under that peculiar name. Ironically, it now supports the Republicans. Kiss my ass.

Then there’s the absolute best, the Tombstone Epitaph. Are you kidding? That’s gold. Nancy might have some idea about the Birmingham Eccentric. That’s where we lived if we were part of the city’s lifeblood, were upwardly mobile, but couldn’t afford the various Grosses. I think they still publish, and it used to be a pretty good weekly.

Whatever they’re thinkin’ in N’awlins these days, I vote for any newspaper name that includes Picayune. I mean, it’s just a totally sublime word, and doesn’t this shout out that there’s nothing too silly for us to cover it. Like Dubya showing up several days late and billions already in Halliburtons’ hands for those trailers no human hand will ever make bacon and scrambled in. Maybe that’s the problem, Picayune as opposed to humongous.

What’s the origin of Plain Dealer? In JSchool, we had a (world-class, I’d guess) reading room, with every important paper. Now I thought at the time the Plain Dealer and the Bee and the Courant were the important papers because I’d heard of them and my classmates hadn’t, and gottdom, I knew they were liberal. I thought they provided editorial insight, because they weren’t the NYT. Jesus, we’re dumb in school when we really need to be smart.

So now I’m old and I know they all waver. But now I know what I know. When these papers trash this simian usurper of the constitution, I know they’re right. When they seem to give him a pass, they’re sniveling. If there’s a citizen that would stand up and be counted in favor of ’signing statements’ let’s see him or her, and we’ll send you to either Guantanamo or Mariel, your choice, asshole. I doubt you could find such an abject groveler in the entire populace of the USA.

I still love everything about the idea of newspapers. I used to think they made some real sort of difference. I don’t think it’s a failing on the part of the papers. I’m afraid it’s people that have failed. We’ve got a wonderful local here called The Island Packet. How cool is that for a newspaper name? I’m not jumping the rails, but humanity’s in a pretty sad state.

How are newsmongers supposed to deal with mindless death and destruction like what’s gone on in the last week, when the commander in chimp tells us we’ve all got to be terrified, all the time, or our patriotic resolve is questionable?

Nobody can get away with the big lie as long as we’ve got the Bee and the Plain Dealer. Well, yeah they can. To this day, Americans are so stupid that 40% of us actually believe Saddam and not our Saudi friends were responsible for the WTC towers being knocked down. And W will trot this shit out and get away with it.

What the hell is the matter with people?