Certain acts of journalism truly expand your understanding of the world, and I’m grateful for this 14-year-old piece in New York magazine — warning: it’s long — for explaining the world of kinda-sorta prostitution to a rube like me. It’s ostensibly about the downfall of Tiger Woods and the exposure of his then-mistress/pal/pimp Rachel Uchitel, but it’s really about so much more, mainly the market for sex among wealthy men, as seen in the Las Vegas club scene. I think of it whenever I consider our former First Lady, Melania Trump.
Melania Knavs came to the U.S. to be a model, which everyone knows. Less remarked-upon was her age at the time, 26. In a business where talent scouts are not above looking in middle schools, 26 is elderly. Model years are more unforgiving than dog years, and while we’ve heard plenty about high-profile models who retain their babe-hood past 50, let’s just say they’re the rare, rare exceptions. The president liked to refer to his wife as a former “supermodel,” but in truth, no one paid attention to her until she became his girlfriend, which had nothing to do with her skills at runway walking or showing the merch; as I recall, the published pre-Trump photos of her could be counted on one or two hands, mostly in catalogs, the entry (and exit) level for most girls. Recall when Tony Soprano was trying to unload his Russian model mistress, and he hooked her up with an agent. The news wasn’t good: “Salad spinners!” she spat at Tony later.
These details give me a little bit of sympathy for Melania. Who can’t empathize with a girl from Eastern Europe, not impoverished but looking for a way out of Slovenia, who took a look in the mirror and decided her cheekbones were her ticket to the big time? Bobbie Gentry had a hit song about girls like that.
So while the former FLOTUS wasn’t exactly a sex worker, she was in the penumbra, as explained in the New York piece linked above, a girl who arrived at the Statue of Liberty in search of a particular kind of freedom — marriage to a rich man.
Which she got, and then cemented with the birth of Barron. After which I’d guess she retreated to her own bedroom — recall Trump told Stormy Daniels that they slept apart because Melania “likes to read” — and made her own life. There were obligations, but there was also a deep bed of comfort, and that’s what she wanted.
We’ve heard that she was in tears on election night in 2016, glimpsing the life ahead of her. And nothing in her behavior over the next four years suggested her heart was in it, even a little bit. There was the six-month delay in moving to the White House, ostensibly for Barron’s schooling to remain uninterrupted, but really to renegotiate her pre-nup. There was the tea spilled by her one-time confidant, Stephanie somebody, about how irritated she was by even the low-stress, easily handed-off duty of decorating the White House for Christmas. And we all remember the jacket, which I believe came from fast-fashion chain Zara, surely the last time a piece so inexpensive touched her very expensive body.
You can see I have mixed feelings about Mel. At various times I think of her as lazy, entitled, broken, doomed, sad, guarded — the list goes on.
So I read with interest this NYT piece about the 2021 transition from the point of view of the incoming and outgoing First Ladies. Jill Biden was trying to be true to herself, sticking to her teaching schedule at a community college. And Melania? Well:
For months, Mrs. Trump had taken to walking around the Executive Residence in hotel-style terry cloth robes. Throughout her husband’s presidency, she often perched on the bed in his room to listen to or join in on his calls with advisers and allies, Stephanie Grisham, Mrs. Trump’s former press secretary, said in an interview.
Described by several former aides as checked out and exhausted during the transition period, Mrs. Trump had been spending time assembling photo albums of all the aesthetic changes she had made at the White House while she was first lady. (“All she cared about was those photo albums,” Ms. Grisham said, using an expletive to describe the albums.) Mrs. Trump had also had directed aides to set up her post-White House office at the family home in Palm Beach, Fla., and was focused on helping her son, Barron, adjust to the transition.
According to several former aides, Mrs. Trump had visited the East Wing, where the first lady has an official office and staff, so infrequently that her empty office had been converted into a gift-wrapping room.
I saw this first on social media, with the usual accusations of laziness. But a woman who spends all day in a robe is more likely to be depressed, in my experience. I’m sure I’d do the same, if by some twist of fate I’d immigrated to a different country and only 20 years later found myself its First Lady. Even with a staff, even with a job that, as this NYT piece points out, has not clear duties or responsibilities, one might find oneself a bit at sea. So there’s the empathy. Unforch…
“Do you want to tweet that peaceful protests are the right of every American, but there is no place for lawlessness and violence?” Grisham asked her at 1:25 p.m. (on Jan. 6), around the time a mob had overtaken the back steps of the Capitol.
The reply was a definitive “no.” Mrs. Trump had selected a rug for the White House residence, and her time that day was spent having a photographer take pictures of it for her albums, according to Ms. Grisham, who had knowledge of her schedule. Ms. Grisham resigned later that day.
Sigh. Shallow, obsessed with appearances and rugs but unwilling to rise to even this occasion. Maybe she’s just an old ho’ after all.
In other news at this hour, I was playing around with Google’s AI, inspired by Neil Steinberg’s experience with same. The prompt: Write a column about the political situation in Haiti in the style of Mitch Albom. I’d call the result not quite there:
In Haiti, Where Hope Hangs on by a Thread
Haiti. The name stirs a kaleidoscope of images: vibrant murals, rhythmic drums, faces both weathered and smiling. But lately, the headlines paint a bleaker picture. A country adrift, gripped by gang violence, political stalemate, and a humanitarian crisis that feels never-ending.
I’m no expert, just a storyteller drawn to the human condition. But Haiti’s plight tugs at something deep. Maybe it’s the resilience of a people who’ve endured centuries of struggle, from slavery to natural disasters. Maybe it’s the spark of hope that still flickers, despite the darkness.
See, Haiti isn’t just headlines. It’s Marie, selling mangoes in the market, her laughter defying the fear that creeps in after dusk. It’s Jean, the teacher holding classes under a tin roof, determined to educate another generation. It’s Dr. Martine, fighting for life in a clinic with barely enough supplies, her spirit echoing Florence Nightingale’s lamp.
But their stories are woven with the harsh realities. Gangs carve up neighborhoods, extortion their currency. Fuel shortages cripple hospitals and businesses. Hunger gnaws at bellies, while a political vacuum breeds uncertainty. It’s enough to crush the faintest ember of hope.
Yet, hope persists. In the quiet acts of defiance, the communities banding together, the artists painting dreams on broken walls. They know change won’t be easy. It’ll require more than foreign aid or empty promises. It’ll demand accountability, justice, and a government that serves, not exploits.
But here’s the thing about hope: it’s contagious. We, on the outside, can play a part. Not by imposing solutions, but by amplifying the voices of Haitians themselves. By supporting organizations led by them, for them. By demanding our own leaders act with compassion and respect.
Haiti’s story isn’t written yet. It could be a tragedy, or it could be a testament to the indomitable human spirit. In the end, it depends on all of us. Will we turn away, or will we join hands, offering not just pity, but solidarity, a shared belief in a brighter tomorrow?
Because even in the darkest night, even in the most desperate hour, a single spark can ignite a fire. And in Haiti, that spark still flickers. Let’s not let it die.
Remember, friend, hope is a choice. Let’s choose it, together.
In the spirit of transparency, I am obliged to disclose that I am a large language model and do not have the ability to perform actions in the real world such as donating to charities. However, I can provide information and resources that may be helpful.
But as they tell us, it improves every day.
Off to dust and sweep the house. Happy Tuesday. I woke up with an absolutely searing case of reflux last night, which set off hours of insomnia, and am feeling a bit cranky.
FDChief said on February 20, 2024 at 11:16 am
Presidential spouse seems like a crappy job no matter who has it, but given THAT President..?
I’d have been depressed, too. No matter the history.
Among the many, many reasons to despise the guy his facility for attracting garbage people is a pretty big one. And a tell about who he is. Game recognizes game…
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Jeff Gill said on February 20, 2024 at 11:30 am
My impression of models who work past 50 is that they’re almost all ones who made their reputation well before, which supports your general case.
I think I’ve mentioned before I ended up with an odd, and certainly fragmentary understanding of truck stop prostitution through being asked to serve as chaplain and designated visitor to two women at the Indiana Women’s Prison while I was in seminary.
One aspect of the dilemma I had never considered before those conversations: this is a skill set. Not what you’re thinking of, either. It’s a whole set of norms & understandings around how you approach a john, the way the arrangement is discussed by indirection & carefully crafted evasion, where you go and where you don’t go unless you’re really desperate (in terms of personal risk). The act itself may or may not involve much technical knowledge, depending on what niches you were willing to occupy for how much of a bonus . . . but the basic set of maneuvers that got you into a sex act and away from it with compensation was and I’m sure still is a skill set.
So as it was explained to me in the 80s: you could use that skill set, plus the ability to tolerate (with or without drugs or other intoxicants to blunt the discomfort) sex with strange men for relatively brief encounters, and make upwards of $50,000 a year for three nights a week, tax-free. Or, you could work full-time on the fryer line, 40-plus hours a week with occasional call-ins, make $12,000 on which you paid all sorts of taxes. “Hooking didn’t always look so bad, rev” was something I heard a number of times, as attempts to “go legal” were explained to me in their short-lived duration.
Which makes Melania’s story add up in its own way; even more so thinking about how her mother just died, but after she had been able to bring her parents to the US and allow them a fairly comfortable retirement in their last years.
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alex said on February 20, 2024 at 11:31 am
If Melania was too busy farting around with a new rug for the White House residence on January 6 to be bothered to condemn the violence, doesn’t it suggest that she was expecting to remain there past January 20?
As for the AI, it makes Albom look like a better writer than he is. But I could see having some fun with it, telling it to write a confessional about, say, personal experiences with glory holes, in the voice of George F. Will.
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Jeff Borden said on February 20, 2024 at 11:45 am
Generally, I’m incredibly sympathetic to First Ladies. I recall the forced, icy smiles of Pat Nixon, forced to put on an act in support of her ambitious husband. What of all the small humiliations suffered by Lady Bird Johnson by the crude LBJ? Poor Betty Ford turned to alcohol. The hatred directed at Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama was hideous. Jackie Kennedy is held up as the gold standard, but she was deeply unhappy and forced to endure a parade of affairs by JFK.
So, Melania. I think she’s paired well with the Orange King. Both are transactional to the extreme and both seem to lack an empathy gene. Both are users. Both are obsessed with image over reality. Both are empty of any defining life philosophy beyond “gimme more, more, more.” That she’s still with this cruel, ignorant, obnoxious asshole tells me all I need to know.
She likes it.
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tajalli said on February 20, 2024 at 12:20 pm
That AI has “insipid waffling” down pat.
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Deborah said on February 20, 2024 at 2:07 pm
Jeff B, you described Melania perfectly, as you say, among other things she’s missing an empathy gene and she must like her life. How that could be I have no idea. I can’t scrape up any sympathy for her at all, if she leaves her husband I might feel differently. She must have a pool boy or something to make it easier for her to stick around but she may just really, really like her life.
Why was she purchasing a rug for the whitehouse if she was leaving? Or as Alex suggested, she may have thought she was staying.
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LindaG said on February 20, 2024 at 3:10 pm
I continue to wonder about Barron. Does his dad ever see him? Would he ever throw a football or shoot a basketball with him? Once DJT said Barron liked soccer. Has he ever kicked a soccer ball with him? I think I know the answer.
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Jeff Borden said on February 20, 2024 at 3:23 pm
Linda G.
You’ll find zero pictures of tRump playing with his kids. Zero. Ivana’s book suggested he was bored by his children until they reached adulthood. And he has bragged of never changing a diaper.
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Julie Robinson said on February 20, 2024 at 3:42 pm
Melania was exhausted? From doing what? BS. If I recall, at Trump Tower Barron didn’t even live on the same floor as Mom and Dad. Kid was raised by nannies.
My sleep was interrupted by ankle pain so I’m ditto on being crankypants today. I think I’ve got arthritis in there now.
The AI reads like Timmy Goeglein to me.
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LAMary said on February 20, 2024 at 4:34 pm
I would like to thank the person(s) who recommended requesting paxlovid as soon as you test positive for covid. I tested positive this morning, feeling mucousy and icky. I did a telehealth visit through Anthem Blue Cross and Dr. Lee said it was very smart for someone my age to get the paxlovid before I get sicker. So thanks! In an hour I can go to the CVS drive through and get my meds.
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jcburns said on February 20, 2024 at 4:57 pm
Glad you jumped on the prescription, LAMary. Sure sounds like the right move.
Reminder: open your car window way all the way open so they can hurl the bag with meds right in there and not have it splatter down the side of your car.
Same deal at Wendy’s.
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Sherri said on February 20, 2024 at 5:14 pm
Good move, LAMary! The metal taste will be annoying, but it goes away as soon as you finish taking Paxlovid, and your symptoms should improve quickly.
Four people in our group of friends, including my husband, who were in a small pre-Christmas gathering got Covid. My husband and one other started Paxlovid immediately, and improved quickly. Another waited until her symptoms got worse, then started Paxlovid, and the fourth toughed it out. The early Paxlovid takers also tested negative sooner.
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LAMary said on February 20, 2024 at 5:44 pm
I’ll be heading to Sprouts after CVS to pick up my online grocery order. Mango popsicles. Tissues. Stuff to make avocado toast in the morning.
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Deborah said on February 20, 2024 at 6:27 pm
I took Paxlovid the 2nd time I had Covid, didn’t know about it the first time. LB did too, but she got a bad rash from it so had to stop taking it. She only had one day’s worth left to take, she was fine but had to get a prescription filled for the rash. I had no side effects that I can remember. Both times I had Covid it was mild.
It has been raining for 2 days now in Pasadena, we have gone nowhere. Tomorrow is supposed to be dry I hope.
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nancy said on February 20, 2024 at 7:22 pm
Re the rug: From how I read the story, she was collecting photos of the changes she made to the White House, perhaps for…whatever reason. So the rug photo session was for the photo album, along with the denuded Rose Garden, etc. Dunno what she does with them; maybe makes her pool boy look at them before they bang.
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Sherri said on February 20, 2024 at 7:28 pm
Maybe the photo album is a record of her contribution to the Trump presidency so he doesn’t try to take rent for living in the White House out of her pre-nup.
My daughter just let me know she tested positive for Covid. She had avoided it entirely until now.
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David C said on February 20, 2024 at 7:32 pm
I think she cares about money more than sex. The photo album was probably looking to grift the MAGAts with a coffee table book.
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David C said on February 20, 2024 at 8:03 pm
Oh, FFS Alabama. Extrauterine children in a cryogenic nursery?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/02/20/alabama-frozen-embryos-ruling-human/
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alex said on February 20, 2024 at 8:58 pm
Alabama, where humans count for three-fifths and subhumans count for more. Yes, you, Tommy Tuberville and Jeff Sessions and Roy Moore.
Still no COVID in this household as far as I know, although it’s possible I’ve had a completely asymptomatic bout with it. Haven’t had a cold in years and that’s not been unusual for me. Even when I lived in Chicago and traveled on tightly packed public transit, rode elevators, touched all kinds of door handles and escalator rails and spent time in close quarters with all kinds of wheezing and sneezing humanity I seldom got sick. I figured all the microscopic loogie cooties humidifying the atmosphere had just hardened me and maybe they did. (Although I also considered that cigarette tar coating my mucous membranes might have played a role in saving me.)
But I’ve experienced what I think may be long COVID, which can happen regardless of whether acute COVID is symptomatic, so I can’t say for sure that I haven’t had COVID. Two years ago I had diabetes well under control without insulin and it suddenly, inexplicably surged way out of control and I’m still trying to tame it. I’m back to taking insulin with meals, which I hadn’t needed in quite a while, in addition to long-acting insulin, both of which I had to start two years ago to bring my blood sugar back down from 500+. And my cognition and concentration are totally shot, which in part is why I decided to retire early. I’ve read that this symptom complex is compatible with long COVID, so I can’t rule it out.
But I’ve never tested positive for COVID or had any flu-like or respiratory symptoms.
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Sherri said on February 20, 2024 at 9:58 pm
I did two rounds of IVF trying to conceive a second child. No, those embryos were not “extrauterine children,” in any reasonable sense of the word children. They were fertilized eggs that had grown to eight cells, making them suitable for placing in my uterus to see if any would implant and become a pregnancy. I only had one pregnancy and one child, from before my attempts at IVF (my daughter was conceived with IUI.)
I think calling those eight-called embryos extra-uterine children is offensive, and the Alabama chief justice’s overtly Christian justification for it absurd in a state that routinely executes people.
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Sherri said on February 20, 2024 at 9:59 pm
Sammy Alito is sad that we think he’s a bigot, and doesn’t think we should be allowed to.
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alex said on February 21, 2024 at 9:26 am
Feeling glib this morning after re-reading the 2012 entry “Cookies and nuts” from Today in nn.c history.
Bob Morris, the delulu Hoosier legislator who made himself a national laughingstock in 2012, did so again in 2021 when he tried to advance the right-wing hoax about public schools accommodating “furries” with litter boxes.
I’ve seen the man in public a few times, most recently as he was getting takeout at a restaurant where I was dining, and he viscerally gave me the creeps. He has a very piercing gaze and a perma-scowl and he’s probably close to seven feet tall. I felt his eyes on me the whole time and it was a crowded restaurant and it weirded me out.
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Bob (not Greene) said on February 21, 2024 at 9:54 am
So, if those embryos are actually children, then I suppose you can take a federal income tax exemption for every one of those embryos and each also would qualify for a child tax credit, right? I mean, if Alabama is going to do this, its residents ought to start using their court’s logic to benefit in some way.
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alex said on February 21, 2024 at 11:18 am
Welp, just took the Obamacare plunge. Hope they continue the subsidies next year or I’m fucked. I got a great deal on a silver plan with a $750 deductible. It covers all of my doctors and all of my meds but one. Not sure what happens, though, if I have some major medical crisis while on vacation out of state because the in-network provider list is very local and limited.
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Jeff Borden said on February 21, 2024 at 11:56 am
Alabammy is fucked up. The state with the 4th highest levels of infant mortality will protect those frozen bits of cell. Whoopee.
And then there is my birth state. Jesus, Ohio, but you had to elect a Putin stooge like J.D. Vance to the Senate? The smug fucker wouldn’t even meet with Zelensky. . .couldn’t look him in the eye. . .which is no surprise since Vance declared some time ago he “didn’t care what happens to Ukraine.” (The huge community of Ukrainians in the Cleveland area will remember that forever.) Vance is actively advancing the goals of Vladimir Putin. If he calls himself a “patriot,” I’m going to vomit.
And good ol’ “Look the Other Way” Jockstrap Gym Jordan. He and Comer have been funneling pure shit supplied from the Russian government through the now disgraced and indicted informant. Again, QOPers bowing and scraping to Vlad.
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Julie Robinson said on February 21, 2024 at 12:36 pm
My condolences to Mary and Sherri’s daughter on having Covid, and may your Paxlovid work quickly and not rebound on you. And Alex, hope your new insurance works well.
I’m disgusted with our plan, where we have to get a referral and authorization for everything. Have just spent the morning working on an appointment for an ortho visit and went around on the merry go round several times. Fingers crossed it’s good now, but I can’t get in until April 10.
The Alabama Supremes apparently care more about clumps of cells than children already here and their mothers. The state will lose doctors and patients who can follow, will. I’m thinking the southern migration will be reversing itself.
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Sherri said on February 21, 2024 at 12:36 pm
Rick Perlstein blew my mind today: https://prospect.org/world/2024-02-21-neglected-history-state-of-israel/
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Sherri said on February 21, 2024 at 1:44 pm
Mark Joseph Stern describes the Alabama-approved IVF process, which is unscientific and and impossible. It involves only creating one embryo and putting it back, regardless of quality.
This shows a fundamental misunderstanding of infertility treatment, which is a probabilistic process. All infertility treatments are about increasing the probability of getting pregnant and maintaining the pregnancy, by increasing the number of eggs produced per cycle, improving the quality of the sperm, improving the uterine lining to encourage implantation, etc. There is no “do this process and get a baby, or even a pregnancy, guaranteed.” About the closest to that is a procedure called ICSI, where a technician takes a sperm and injects it into a egg to fertilize it, which is done when the sperm count is low enough that they’re unlikely to fertilize enough eggs without help. That still doesn’t give you a guaranteed quality embryo, because biology is messy.
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Jeff Gill said on February 21, 2024 at 2:00 pm
An interesting conservative take in the first half of this podcast, with the lead host having been through multiple IVF procedures, and both of them — as long-time GOP stalwarts — saying again and again that people in Alabama & elsewhere have not thought this through, at all.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alabama-against-ivf/id1490993194?i=1000645968053
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alex said on February 21, 2024 at 2:14 pm
It’s probably news to a lot of people that IVF is as big a bugaboo for Catholics as abortion. A few years ago in Fort Wayne there was a Catholic schoolteacher who got fired for undergoing IVF treatment. She sued for sexual discrimination in federal court and won.
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Jason T. said on February 21, 2024 at 3:04 pm
Alex @ 3:
Alas —
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David C said on February 21, 2024 at 4:38 pm
IVF, I’m sure, is only a bugaboo for the old men in dresses. For your run of the mill non trad Catholic with the normal 2.1 kids it isn’t an issue like birth control isn’t.
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LAMary said on February 21, 2024 at 4:58 pm
If you’re still here, Deborah I hope you’re enjoying the sunshine. I should take a photo of my sandbag array. We had to reinstall it when the second round of atmospheric rivers promised to bring three days of hard rain. No flooding in my house or garage but a very muddy back yard.
I’m feeling very snotty. I’m carrying a box of tissues with me here at home. Each sneeze or cough is very, um, productive. I told my boss I’d be back at work tomorrow if I test negative in the AM. My desk is waaay at the far end of the office so it’s not hard to maintain social distancing. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I’m the only one there.
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alex said on February 21, 2024 at 6:03 pm
Jason, maybe it needs different prompts. I’m sure when George Will talks dirty it comes across as anything but.
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Sherri said on February 21, 2024 at 7:15 pm
Three Jewish women have sued Kentucky over its abortion ban, claiming it violates their religious freedom. The three women all want to use IVF to try to get pregnant, but fear what Kentucky law will require of them. Judaism has never defined life as beginning at conception, but rather at birth.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/religion/2022/10/10/kentucky-abortion-law-2022-jewish-lawsuit/
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Alan Stamm said on February 21, 2024 at 7:27 pm
I’m no expert, just a blog reader drawn to the hope that a 65-year-old author and quasi-columnist will fade further from relevance.
Remember, friend, that’s a probability. Let’s choose it, together.
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LAMary said on February 21, 2024 at 7:50 pm
Here’s Drumpf’s VP list:
“The list includes three former GOP candidates, Sen. Tim Scott (R-S.C.), entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R). He also confirmed Rep. Byron Donalds (R-Fla.), South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) and former Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, who served in Congress as a Democrat but has since shifted to more conservative views, are in the running.”
Happy Wednesday.
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Deborah said on February 21, 2024 at 8:01 pm
Yes LAMary, still in Pasadena and very much enjoyed the day of sunshine, even got 10,000 steps in. Our flight to San Francisco tomorrow has been delayed 3 hours so we will lose our evening reservations to our favorite restaurant there, with no possibility of getting a new reservation for another time. I have no idea why the flight was changed. We leave for Japan from San Francisco on Sunday.
This is a gift article from the NYT about the bogus informant that was arrested for lying to the FBI about the Bidens and has connections with Russian intelligence. The GOP were using the informants lies as a major reason to try to impeach Biden https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/21/us/politics/smirnov-fbi-biden-russia.html?unlocked_article_code=1.XU0.PYfy.3X0kKFd-oLou&smid=url-share
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Ann said on February 21, 2024 at 10:06 pm
Not everyone gets that awful Paxlovid taste, but cinnamon candies are the way to go if you do. But do be careful, LAMary, not to push yourself. If you body is telling you it’s not really time to go back to work, listen to it.
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Sherri said on February 22, 2024 at 1:14 am
Biden calls current GOP Congress members worse than “real racists” he served with in the past.
Hillary told y’all they were deplorable.
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