The various elite news outlets of the world are doing their thing over fellow elitist Graydon Carter’s memoir, publishing…Tuesday, I expect. It does sound like an amusing, if name-droppy, read. But I was taken with this brief passage quoted in the NYT; it’s about certain rules Carter enforced when he edited Vanity Fair:

Out went words like abode, opine, plethora and passed away (for died). Out went glitzy, wannabe and even celebrity. Out went chops (for acting abilities), donned (as in put-on), A-list, boasted (as in had or featured), coiffed, eatery (for restaurant), flat (for apartment), flick (for movie) … honcho, hooker, schlep (as in to lug something somewhere), scribe (as in writer) and Tinseltown. All found their way into the copyedit boneyard.

Most of these words are journalese, i.e. the language spoken only in print. No one calls a writer a scribe except in print. No one says, “I don’t care for that Nancy Nall and her constant opining.” Once someone used the phrase “ink” to describe signing a contract in a casual conversation with me, and I kinda cringed. But the larger point is, all editors have such lists. One of my former bosses hated the word “butt” to describe the place where your legs join your back, and insisted it be replaced with “hips,” which isn’t even accurate. There was the guy who hated the word “moist,” in all its forms. I read Carter’s list to Alan because I spotted two of my husband’s on there – “donned” and “Tinseltown.” He also immediately strikes “mustachioed” if he sees it in any copy he handles. My own peeves are pretty much aligned. I despise any deep description of a person’s appearance, if that appearance is entirely ordinary, unless that ordinariness is important somewhere down the line. Back when newspapers had money, they’d send reporters to writing conferences, where well-known writers would say, “Describe people! Use adjectives!” And the reporters all came home and dutifully detailed the city manager’s khaki pants, Oxford-cloth button-down and navy blazer. I recall seeing one story that described a deer as “honey-colored.” They’re all honey-colored, hon; tell me if it’s a pinto.

OK, then. The last few days have been a little action-packed. I’m rectifying my lifeguarding credential, and it turns out the recert class is just the original class, but free. So it’s me and a dozen teenagers, and they are way stronger than me. But I’m hanging in there. Just way more tired. Also, the news of the day is bringing me down. I’m so disappointed in the waste of oxygen who calls himself one of my senators that I don’t know what to do. My old friend Vince the fellow Fellow describes himself as “beyond despondent.” If Democrats won’t fight, what good are they?

On edit: Here’s a beautiful story for St. Patrick’s Day. Gift link.