Bookazines of death.

I hate learning that I am a peddler of conventional wisdom, but apparently I am: I read the long NYT thing on Tucker Carlson and realized my belief that Tucker is on the downslope of his career is just that:

But there’s good reason to believe Mr. Carlson will be the exception that proves the rule. For one thing, unlike previous stars who have left Fox News, Mr. Carlson departed when he was still at the height of his power, making his firing all the more sudden and shocking. Three days before his sacking, he gave the keynote address at the Heritage Foundation’s 50th anniversary gala. Two weeks before that, he browbeat Texas’ Republican governor to issue a pardon to a man who had been convicted of murdering a Black Lives Matter protester in Austin.

More important, at Fox, he exercised power in ways that were new and unique for a cable star. He was a sophisticated political operator as much as he was a talented television host — to an astonishingly unsettling degree, as he continued to thrive while making racist and sexist comments and earning the praise of neo-Nazis. Like Donald Trump — to say nothing of other Republican politicians and conservative media figures — he gave voice to an anger, sense of grievance and conspiratorial mind-set that resonated with many Americans, particularly those on the far right. Unlike Mr. Trump — not to mention his motley crew of cheerleaders and imitators — Mr. Carlson developed and articulated a coherent political ideology that could prove more lasting, and influential, than any cult of personality. Mr. Carlson has left Fox News. But his dark and outsize influence on the conservative movement — and on American politics — is hardly over.

Oh, well. I’ve been wrong before. I hope I’m not, in this case, because I’d really not like to see that guy’s mug anymore. And to think I felt so, so hopeful after the November elections.

Anyway. My friend who worked in publishing gave me a name for those things they sell in the checkout lines of grocery stores, the ones that aren’t magazines, exactly, but not books, either: Bookazines. One-off publications, often under a trusted brand (Cook’s Illustrated has zillions of ‘zines), dedicated to a single topic. I have no idea if Meredith, now known as Dotdash Meredith, published this, but it was on their rack on Saturday:

That guy. Why do they all look like that? For a demographic whose self-image is of rugged individualism, why do they ALL look like that? Shaved head, beard, perma-scowl. Anyway, I snapped a pic and posted it on Twitter, and as sometimes happens, a bell rang in the back of my crowded brain. I got into my picture archives and whaddaya know, March 2020:

Same typeface, same subtitle (“survival guide”), same point of sale: My local Kroger, in a safe suburb. Yes, people died of Covid here, but in far fewer numbers than in our next-door neighbor, poor, black Detroit. And if you feel you need to “prep” here, I offer this advice often offered on the internet: Touch grass. Go outdoors, feel the breeze on your face. Consider that maybe when a ball rolls into your yard, you don’t need to shoot the children who lost control of it.

Man, doesn’t that sound fatuous? Of course you need to shoot those people, just as you need to shoot your neighbors when they object to you firing you AR-15 (!!!) in your yard (!!!!) because you woke their baby:

The attack happened near the town of Cleveland, north of Houston, on a street where some residents say neighbors often unwind by firing off guns.

Goddamn, I’m downgrading Texas from “wouldn’t visit with an engraved invitation” to “don’t even want to fly over in an airplane at 36,000 feet.” The mountains of Afghanistan sound less dangerous.

Moving on, I googled the coronation date for King Charles and came up with a Wikipedia page that is truly a one-stop shop for everything you need to know about the event, coming this Saturday, the 6th. The coronation episode of “The Crown” is my favorite of favorites — when all the crowned heads put on their coronets! the bitterness of the abdicated ex-king! — and while I don’t expect to be glued to whatever screen carries Charles’, I will likely watch the highlight reel. The wiki, no doubt curated by an army of regal-philes, has deets galore:

Due to Elizabeth’s advanced age, Charles’s coronation has been planned for years, under the code name Operation Golden Orb.

…Charles will be attended by four pages of honour. They are Prince George of Wales, Lord Oliver Cholmondeley (son of the Marquess and Marchioness of Cholmondeley), Nicholas Barclay (grandson of Sarah Troughton), and Ralph Tollemache (son of the Hon. Edward Tollemache). Camilla will also be attended by four pages of honour.

(I chuckled over that one, only because I chuckle every time I see “Cholmondeley” spelled out. It’s pronounced “chumley.”)

Of course, Camilla will get her due, as well:

The Queen will be anointed without a screen or canopy and then presented with the Queen Consort’s Ring. She will then be crowned by the archbishop of Canterbury using Queen Mary’s Crown. The crown was removed from display at the Tower of London for modification work in February 2023. The crown will be reset with the Cullinan III, IV and V diamonds and four of its detachable arches will be removed. It will be the first time a queen is crowned using another consort’s crown since 1727, when Caroline of Ansbach used the Crown of Mary of Modena. The decision not to use the Crown of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother avoids a potential diplomatic dispute with Pakistan, Afghanistan and India, which have all made claims of ownership of the Koh-i-Noor diamond in the past. This will be the first coronation of a consort since that of Queen Elizabeth (later known as the Queen Mother) in 1937. Camilla will be handed the Queen Consort’s Sceptre with Cross and the Queen Consort’s Rod with Dove, before walking over to her own throne beside the King, where she will sit.

OMG I can only imagine the Cult of Diana will seethe over this one! It’s gonna be great. I can’t wait.

Hope I live that long! Better get my Prepper Survival Guide to help in case there’s a zombie apocalypse before then.

OK, then, the world await us, but likely not until tomorrow. Have a great week, all.

Posted at 11:17 am in Current events, Media |
 

69 responses to “Bookazines of death.”

  1. Mark zp said on April 30, 2023 at 12:49 pm

    I have wondered about the pathology of the prepper mentality. I’m not sure what the appeal is of the end of the world, but I think it manifests in the popularity of all the zombie apocalypse books and movies. I think somewhere in there is the desire to kill people without consequence, and I suspect somewhere down there is a deep sense of fear and powerlessness. It’s ironic that the ones who like to fantasize about absolute self reliance and the confidence that they would survive, even at the expense of everyone else, are the ones who are afraid of their own shadows.

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  2. Icarus said on April 30, 2023 at 1:19 pm

    Mark @1: preppers come in different varieties. not all of them are thinking about committing violence. Many realize, reluctantly, that violence might be necessary because someone else will try to take everything they have instead of sharing or trading for it.

    A wonderful Syfy/amazon series called The Expanse, which is based on a book series had an episode/novella called The Churn. The main character explains that when things get tough, tribes get smaller.

    There are also different things to prep for. The end of the world or zombie apocalypse? Better off not surviving. But a short term disruption of what we consider normal…it’s doable.

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  3. Sherri said on April 30, 2023 at 1:23 pm

    What I always want to ask the preppers is, then what? You survived the apocalypse with your rugged individualism, it’s a few months later, and now how do you imagine life? Because the prepper mentality seems centered around the acute crisis, and not about the day to day how do we get through life when we can’t count on anything.

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  4. Mark P said on April 30, 2023 at 1:36 pm

    I know there are some people who prepare for natural disasters like hurricanes (flashlights, fresh water, canned food, maybe a generator and extra fuel) but those are not what I think most people mean by “prepper.” For me, a prepper is someone who expects and is preparing for a total collapse of civil society. They don’t imagine neighbor helping neighbor, like is almost always the case in actual disasters, but a relentlessly cruel kill-or-be-killed existence. In the novel World War Z, written by Max Brooks, Mel Brooks’ son, there were people known as LMOE’s, who thought they were the Last Man On Earth. I think that’s what some preppers imagine, and actually want.

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  5. nancy said on April 30, 2023 at 1:48 pm

    “The Last of Us” devoted an episode to a prepper (he preferred “survivalist”) who survived the mushroom-zombie apocalypse and spent the first days after the outbreak raiding Home Depot and his local wine store, stockpiling supplies to live happily alone the rest of his days. Nick Offerman played him exquisitely well. Of course there was a complication to his plan, in the form of another man, with whom he fell in love. A great episode, during which Nick’s character explains why he was the way he was. Briefly, he hated humanity.

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  6. Icarus said on April 30, 2023 at 2:08 pm

    That episode of “The Last of Us” (ep 3, IIRC) pissed off a lot of homophobes. I enjoyed it for what it was but would have been happy to watch an hour of Offerman raiding Home Depots and wine stores.

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  7. jcburns said on April 30, 2023 at 2:10 pm

    Are there a lot of people out there who believe that zombies are real? I’m just asking because, well, that prospect bothers me.

    And while I’m asking: Are there a lot of people out there who believe that astrology is real?

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  8. nancy said on April 30, 2023 at 2:17 pm

    They say “zombie” but they mean “that guy who lives across the street who I never liked.”

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  9. LAMary said on April 30, 2023 at 3:16 pm

    Here in the land of many faults we prep. Flashlights, cash, food, water. My local neighborhood association, a group that usually deals with stuff like skipped trash pick ups and double parked cars in front of the elementary school invited some guy who was an “expert” on earthquake preparedness to speak at a meeting. He suggested all the usual but then moved on to weapons. He said our neighbors could become our enemies or looters. Maybe people from outside our neighborhood would invade. He was really into it and spent a lot more time on that than he did on the flashlights, food and water.

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  10. John Harrison said on April 30, 2023 at 3:25 pm

    When I was 12, my Dad took me to a town meeting in our rural Vermont community to hear the aldermen discuss home fallout shelters. This was during the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis, and there was a recognition that prevailing winds would carry nuclear fallout from the presumed annihilation of New York or Boston northward. The only detail that I vividly recall was the somber advice to include firearms in your shelter supplies to allow you to use lethal force against unprepared neighbors.

    Fast forward 20 years to my post-doctoral research in Enewetak, Marshall Islands, where I was conducting long-term ecosystem assessment of post-nuclear residual effects. From a small boat, I looked out over an immense blue hole, 1.2 miles in diameter, overlying what had been a lush coral atoll island in the midst of a vast arc of coral reef. In an instant, the 10.2 Megaton event, the world’s first thermonuclear detonation, had vaporized the island, leaving the circular hole in the ocean, with fractured reef rock to a depth of over a mile.

    There is fear that sells and fear that is fundamentally existential. I wonder whether intimate confrontation of the latter would even begin to penetrate into the awareness of perpetrators of the former.

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  11. alex said on April 30, 2023 at 4:13 pm

    Speaking of the guy across the street that I never liked…

    My former neighbor, a rotund 20-something Realtor, was a prepper and his social media were full of doomsday garbage. He was probably 400-500 pounds and could barely pull himself out of his vehicle. I’m not sure how he thinks he’s going to be a survivalist, especially if he has to exist on canned beans.

    Can’t say his replacements are much better. They make no pretense of being friendly. Every Friday and Saturday there is a stream of cars in and out of there, so I guess selling pot (or maybe even something else) is probably one of their sidelines. Otherwise, she wears some kind uniform and leaves early in the morning while he is a layabout who walks their young daughter out to the school bus every morning. Never see them otherwise except on the rare occasion they go out on their motorcycles.

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  12. Jeff Gill said on April 30, 2023 at 8:53 pm

    Hoping this goes in the dustbin of most of my political predictions of the last seven years . . .

    Tucker Carlson will run to replace Angus King as Maine’s independent Senator. (He’s got a house there, part of the Swanson frozen food patrimony.)

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  13. Deborah said on April 30, 2023 at 9:36 pm

    “What then”, that’s a good one. Who wants to survive after something like that? Not me. Those people live in a fantasy world where they’re some kind of hero. It’s sad.

    We started to think about a survival kit for LB a while ago, probably during the pandemic, in case things got way out of hand. We never actually pulled it together, we talked about it a lot though. I don’t remember what we thought was going to happen that she would need to have one. Mainly it became a problem of where one would put the stuff in the meantime. It was mainly things like flashlights, matches, candles and water. Food and weapons were not part of the thinking. LB keeps a crow bar with the umbrellas next to the front door though.

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  14. FDChief said on April 30, 2023 at 11:10 pm

    I think the big difference between Fishsticks and guys like Beck is that for Beck the assholery was a feature. He had actual policies he liked – loathsome, but policies – and getting to whine about liberals, queers, and darks was just a perk.

    Fishsticks? That’s all he has, and that works because the GQP has evolved into a self-licking rage-cream cone. So he is more fungible, and more likely to stick around.

    Unfortunately. Which is pretty sad when you think that we euthanize perfectly good dogs and cats for being unwanted, and the scruffiest rat terrier licking his balls is performing a more useful activity than Fishsticks has in his entire “career”…

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  15. Brandon said on May 1, 2023 at 1:53 am

    Prepper Survival Guide is published by Centennial Outdoors, part of Centennial Media, which was acquired last October by A360 Media.

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  16. Dexter Friend said on May 1, 2023 at 2:36 am

    …and don’t send your star baseball playing kid to Texas.
    https://www.yahoo.com/sports/texas-am-texarkana-baseball-player-shot-by-apparent-stray-bullet-during-home-game-011732523.html

    Also, it appears the , as Jesse Winchester explained , sham a lama ding dong, is gone here:
    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/meghan-markle-prince-harry-reportedly-220043533.html

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  17. Jim said on May 1, 2023 at 5:44 am

    Being a UK citizen, I’m not interested in the Coronation, but I will watch for a couple of minutes just to see if Camilla will be *poshed* up .

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  18. Joe Kobiela said on May 1, 2023 at 8:58 am

    Always thought Prepper magazine was about a bunch of rich spoiled college kids.
    Pilot Joe

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  19. ROGirl said on May 1, 2023 at 9:06 am

    Yeah, I thought of Preppie Survival Guide too.

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  20. Dorothy said on May 1, 2023 at 10:02 am

    I wonder what the code name is for William’s future coronation considering the age of his father? Maybe the Operation Silver Willie? Wouldn’t that be fun! Tom and Lorenzo said a couple weeks ago that what Camilla wears is not necessarily dresses but more like vestments. I really laughed at that one. It was very apt. Meghan staying home is probably for the best as all eyes would be glued on her instead of on the Golden Orb himself.

    I see guys with those kinds of beards at the grocery store (and they almost always have a wife and kids with them) and I always think “Who wants to kiss someone with that gross kind of facial hair? Aren’t there remnants of last week’s dinners hanging around and getting all smelly?” I think they all think they’re God’s gift to women.

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  21. susan said on May 1, 2023 at 10:35 am

    A police department spokesperson told the Texarkana Gazette that it was “incredibly bad luck, bad place,” for the player who was shot.

    Yeah, “bad luck”/poor judgment to be in Texas.

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  22. Joe Kobiela said on May 1, 2023 at 10:46 am

    Dorothy,
    Please explain how your statement is not racist.
    You are judging a person while not by skin color but by facial hair? How do you know that person isn’t a loving father that works hard to provide for his family, reads to his kids, says their prayers, tucks them in.
    Pretty hypocritical don’t you think.
    Pilot Joe

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  23. Jason T. said on May 1, 2023 at 11:10 am

    You remain a real piece of work, Joe.

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  24. Julie Robinson said on May 1, 2023 at 11:43 am

    Dexter, I think you’ve gone down the same Harry/Meghan rabbit hole as my mom. I’ve told her I won’t listen to her as she repeats gossip and rumors, but every now and then something slips out. Every other email she gets is from a gossip site. I won’t be watching any coronation coverage with her in the room, that’s for sure.

    An English friend of our daughter was in town last week and he said Brexit has wrecked the economy, so very few care about the new king. Grocery stores in his area have empty shelves, with fruits and veggies especially hard to find.

    We aren’t preppers, but we do stock up for hurricanes every August. Batteries and water are the biggies, for fans and when the city tells us the water isn’t safe without boiling. We get cans of chicken, tuna, peanut butter, crackers and granola bars and LOTS of water. You go through water fast when it’s hot and you’re miserable. We are lucky to have a pool so we can cool down and wash off. If they ever shut the water down completely we can also use it to flush toilets, thank goodness.

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  25. David C said on May 1, 2023 at 11:48 am

    If you think only white guys can grow a beard Joe, then you’re the
    REAL racist. See how that works? Fun, ain’t it?

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  26. Mark P said on May 1, 2023 at 12:39 pm

    Joe, “racist” is not the word you’re looking for. “Prejudiced” maybe? “Anti-beard”? “Don’t-like-kissing-facial-hairist”? But definitely not racist. She neither said nor hinted anything about race.

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  27. Dorothy said on May 1, 2023 at 1:06 pm

    Does anyone want to place a bet about how accurately Joe’s racist-detecting spidey senses work? I’m pretty sure they don’t extend to Little Fish Stick who no longer has a job.

    My husband is currently rocking an absolutely pure white beard that I find extremely attractive. A few of you are friends with me on Facebook and might have seen the picture of him I snapped this weekend with our granddaughter. Whether you like it or not, Joey, there is a certain ‘look’ to guys who are “preppers” and the long shaggy beard is one of them. It’s an observation, you idiot, not a racist attitude.

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  28. Joe Kobiela said on May 1, 2023 at 1:08 pm

    So racism can only be defind by color?
    Pilot Joe

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  29. Jim said on May 1, 2023 at 1:17 pm

    Joe: no, racism can only be defined by “race” (which is, sadly, a social construct).
    As has been pointed out, beards cross all “races”, so Dorothy is more accurately a “beardist”. So is my wife for that matter.

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  30. Heather said on May 1, 2023 at 1:37 pm

    I suspect the diagram of people who are hardcore survivalists/preppers and those who complained they couldn’t get a haircut or whatever during the pandemic lockdowns overlap quite a bit.

    Also, is facial hair a race now? Did I miss something?

    I’m not really into beards but my boyfriend has one–he keeps it trimmed and clean, and it looks nice. I have told him that growing it long is a dealbreaker for me.

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  31. Dave said on May 1, 2023 at 1:41 pm

    You don’t have to even go to Texas to get hit by a random bullet. This unlucky lady (how else would you term it, unfortunate?) was hit. My wife and I had been in there not two weeks before. More guns, more wounds, still waiting for that polite armed society. Again, I’m using a tiny url and I think it’s perfectly safe.

    https://tinyurl.com/26p9h3fb

    Not a beard fan, my brother has worn a beard for nearly 45 years and our daughter’s late father-in-law had one he’d had since his early 20’s, his son says he never saw his dad without a beard. Neither is or was long and scroungy but I always wonder at those guys when I see one. Yep, guess I’m a beardist, too.

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  32. ROGirl said on May 1, 2023 at 1:46 pm

    Jim, anti-semites are racist, even though Judaism isn’t actually a race. Jews of differing skin colors exist, however.

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  33. Jim said on May 1, 2023 at 2:30 pm

    ROGirl: I know that’s the way it’s thought of, but I prefer thinking of anti-semites as a plain old fashioned hate group. Much as I’d think of someone who hates Catholics, say.

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  34. alex said on May 1, 2023 at 2:30 pm

    With Fox and the far right fever swamps redefining lefties and people of color as “the real racists,” I can see where Joe’s probably coming from. He’s just out trolling as usual. Probably doesn’t give a shit that his favorite propaganda outlets have declared Disney as Public Enemy Number One either, even though he loves to accuse others of hypocrisy.

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  35. Dorothy said on May 1, 2023 at 2:37 pm

    Full disclosure: I have never really cared for Abe Lincoln’s beard. Pictures of him when he was younger and beardless show him to be a fairly good looking guy. But the beard just doesn’t do anything for me.

    Okay Joey Freud – what does this say about me, now that you’re an expert and everything?

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  36. Joe Kobiela said on May 1, 2023 at 3:43 pm

    Never cared and don’t care now about Tucker, never watched him. I’ll take back the racism and I’ll call it profiling, you have a long beard with short hair Dorothy knows you’re a right wing prepper, and are a terrible person with no redeeming value. Leaving for Disney a week from Friday, vacation club member go down 2-3 times a year and hold an annual pass so I’m not sure what that makes me Alex but my family and I sure have fun.
    Pilot Joe

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  37. Jeff Borden said on May 1, 2023 at 3:46 pm

    Perhaps the aviator is peeved that the initial stages of his preferred preznit candidate, Pudd’n Boots, are imploding like Elmo’s rocket. Everyone who meets the little fella seems to dislike him intensely.

    I’ve had a well-trimmed beard since 1978 since the creator skimped on my jawline. No one would mistake me for a doomsday pepper. Bullshit on that. If an apocalypse approaches, you’ll find my wife and I above ground drinking Scotch. Who’d want to be around for a real life version of “The Road?”

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  38. JodiP said on May 1, 2023 at 4:19 pm

    Jeff B @ 37 I had the same thought. I could not finish that book, but it’s seared in my memory. I often wonder what I would do in extreme situations. I’d be good for growing food and teaching others. I’m sure my social work skills would come in handy too. But I hope it doesn’t come to that.

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  39. Icarus said on May 1, 2023 at 4:51 pm

    Scalzi has a good post and commentary about Abortion Restrictions

    https://whatever.scalzi.com/2023/05/01/reader-request-week-2023-1-the-fallout-from-abortion-restrictions

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  40. Sherri said on May 1, 2023 at 5:14 pm

    Small-money donors haven’t made things better.

    “ But in most elections, small-dollar donors don’t connect online to wage war on moneyed interests. They donate to scratch an emotional itch. And by doing so, they make real-life politics more like the internet: hospitable to trolls, indulgent of political fantasy and deeply exhausting.”

    https://wapo.st/42bZhzo

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  41. Jason T. said on May 1, 2023 at 5:58 pm

    I have a really good profile of you, Joe. But then I’ve always been biased against trolls.

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  42. Joseph Kobiela said on May 1, 2023 at 6:13 pm

    Jason T
    Love to see your profile, see how wrong you are.
    Pilot Joe

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  43. FDChief said on May 1, 2023 at 6:49 pm

    The beard thing…

    I had to shave when I was a GI (and let’s not even go into the “ends of the mustache cannot extend beyond the mouth” a.k.a. the Hitler Bristle rule) and so, like a lot of GIs I stopped the moment I retired.

    But…the long scraggly John Brown beard? Ugh. I don’t even have to kiss that face to dislike it. It looks like an unmade bed or a truck bed full of dumpster fodder.

    Tho it probably keeps your chin warm, which is one more useful thing than the entirety of the British “royals” gimmick. If it could be produced on the budget of a telanovela it’d at least be value for the cost. But the exorbitant price for all the boring lumps of pedigreed caucasians whose job is, effectively, “ceremonial nonsense” can’t really be justified by the occasional sex scandal.

    Now…if the Windsors popped out an occasional Mad Ludwig kind of king? THAT’d be worth it. But it’s all just hide-the-banger and petty snobbery, and how entertaining is that..?

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  44. FDChief said on May 1, 2023 at 7:06 pm

    While you’re Googling Der Marchenkonig, check out his grandpa Ludwig #1. Classicist, mighty lover of women (including the delicious Victorian adventuress Lola Montez…), and inveterate writer of epically bad poems over which he argued with Heinrich Heine. Fun guy; the Bavarians seem to have had a much more entertaining royal house than the British…

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  45. LAMary said on May 1, 2023 at 8:23 pm

    Oooh, Joe. According to De Santis Disney is “grooming” children and is “woke.” Pedophiles go there to find children to victimize. You support that? What does that make you?

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  46. Jeff Borden said on May 1, 2023 at 8:24 pm

    One of the largest and most passionate attacks on me during my mediocre career as the TV critic of the Big D was my lame attempt to snark on the marriage of Charles and Diana. I was ripped to shreds for my column, which was a mundane “they don’t give a shit about you,” and I won’t deny being gobsmacked by the vitriol.

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  47. Deborah said on May 1, 2023 at 9:01 pm

    I’ve been kinda busy today just checking in, boy things got a little rowdy. My ex had a beard, short, well kept, he shaved it off periodically. My current husband wouldn’t think of growing a beard, if other people wear beards, he’s fine with it, just doesn’t want to have anything to do with it himself. Well, I take that back he’s not fond of seeing the long scraggly ones on people, I never thought of that as profiling, that’s not how I define profiling.

    I’m still paying attention to the rape case. Tacopina is a piece of work.

    OK, now I’m going to read all the links you folks included in your comments.

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  48. David C said on May 1, 2023 at 9:11 pm

    If Charles can’t turn Britain into a republic nothing can and they’re stuck with their inbred overlords forever. I can sort of see how ER II was popular. Charles is a nothingburger or nothing and chips, whatever. On his first day kinging he was such an asshole to the holder of the inkpot and I don’t see him getting any better.

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  49. Jeff Borden said on May 1, 2023 at 9:23 pm

    One of the largest and most passionate attacks on me during my mediocre career as the TV critic of the Big D was my lame attempt to snark on the marriage of Charles and Diana. I was ripped to shreds for my column, which was a mundane “they don’t give a shit about you,” and I won’t deny being gobsmacked by their vitriol. I didn’t realize how many ‘Muricans love the monarchy.

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  50. Brandon said on May 2, 2023 at 1:34 am

    Re: Great Britain becoming a republic. It’s been done.

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  51. A. Riley said on May 2, 2023 at 1:38 am

    Okay, I don’t much care about the messy Windsor family and their squabbles, but I just *love* a good high-production-value spectacle, broadcast in ultra hi-def living color and Dolby sound, and nobody does spectacle better than that crew. Srsly.

    And! The Church of England has posted on its website the entire Order of Service for the churchy part of the coronation, with commentary by the Archbishop of Canterbury. I am a big old liturgy nerd and that’s just *catnip.*

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  52. Dexter Friend said on May 2, 2023 at 3:26 am

    “Shaving cream
    Shaving cream
    Shave every day and
    You’ll always feel clean.”

    I have yet to touch an electric razor and I shave face and head every day with Schick razor and Barbasol right before showering. I rocked a ‘stache in the army and stylish 60’s long sideburns in the 60’s, then shaved them off when they became what only dorky fuckers wore . I grew variations of beard styles as a younger man and now I don’t like the grey so off comes the hair stubble too atop the noggin. I even attack the grey when my eyebrows show grey.
    I just caught a glimpse of that Harry-Meghan story and laughed as right beside it on the Yahoo! News page was a story how Harry would be rushing back to see his family post-haste the coronation. I don’t chase rumors down any rabbit holes. King Charles III is but 10 months my senior and I have written here before how I sort of grew up with him and witnessed the world at the same time as he. I already have my DVR set for Saturday morn. Long Live The King ! Damn straight. Yeah.

    Marsh of Philadelphia. https://www.inquirer.com/resizer/bLQXG63enTMviq7xZaYefaTGb94=/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-pmn/public/2NHXJUFROZAEVD73QOKGMWGQKA.jpg

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  53. Suzanne said on May 2, 2023 at 8:15 am

    As a female, I must say that I do not find those long bushy beards at all attractive. They honestly kind of creep me out.

    I am not sure how I feel about the royal coronation. Charles strikes me as the quintessential clueless rich person for whom money is simply something that is always available like food, air, etc. Where it comes from and how it got there is something that he probably doesn’t concern himself with. He won’t ever be a beloved monarch like his mother.

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  54. JodiP said on May 2, 2023 at 8:55 am

    My dad had those big sideburns well into the late 90s. We’d tease him all the time! He also loved to wear cowboys boots and western suits as his “getting dressed up” attire. He and the rest of my family came to see me walk to get my graduate degree. At the reception held by the school of social work, one of my friends told me that her husband (who I’d met) asked, “Who’s the clown in the cowboy suit?” Uh, Jodi’s dad. Awkward.

    So, my dad was a dorky fucker, (so apt for my fatehr=—thanks, Dexter!) but on that day I decided I wasn’t going to be a classist asshole. I had always been embarrassed by how he dressed, but I came to see it as a particular expression of rural culture.

    This conflicts mightily with my love of fashion and the thousands of judgements I have silently passed against others…..if they can afford to dress decently, why on earth not? Just realized this comes in part *directly* from my father…taking pride in one’s appearance.

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  55. ROGirl said on May 2, 2023 at 8:59 am

    I’m in the clean-shaven camp.

    If Britain ditched the monarchy they would lose a lot of tourism revenue.

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  56. Icarus said on May 2, 2023 at 9:15 am

    I stay clean-shaven, although admittedly I do let more and more time go between shaves these days since I don’t really leave the house much. It feels funny to have hair on my face and it’s kinda scratchy, so I eventually shave it off.

    In my 20s, if I shaved on Monday, I would not get 5 o’clock shadow until about noon on Thursday. Later in my 30s, the stubble showed up sooner, but it was still like nothing, nothing, nothing, then boom: 5 o’clock shadow that looked like I hadn’t shaved in a week. I called it Weird Beard

    I never minded because I’m not a beard, mustache, or goatee person. I know younger guys in leadership roles try to grow their beards to look older (think NFL Quarterbacks) and some guys see facial hair as a symbol of manhood. I never gave any fucks about that.

    The only time it really mattered was one October I wanted to grow some facial hair to augment my Halloween costume: Qui-Gon Jinn from the Star Wars franchise. It was a success.

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  57. Jenine said on May 2, 2023 at 9:29 am

    As a kid I remember playing with a deck of cards with pairs of poets (2 Longfellows, 2 Elliots, etc.) Some of the older ones had extravagant facial hair — I thought that was fascinating.
    You know a lot of the beard preference is generational, right? It comes and it goes.

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  58. Mark P said on May 2, 2023 at 9:47 am

    I have had facial hair almost since I could grow it. My high school didn’t allow even long sideburns, but once I graduated I grew a beard. My mustache was pitiful, so I shaved my upper lip for years. I had to shave when I started at the newspaper, but after a few years I grew my beard back. A few years ago I went to a goatee, but now I’m back to a full beard.

    My brother also had a beard. Over the years we occasionally decided to shave for a while, then went back to a beard. The weird thing was that we seemed to coordinate that decision, even when he lived all the way across the country in San Diego. He had a goatee when he died five years ago. I wonder if he would have gone to a full beard when I did.

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  59. Dorothy said on May 2, 2023 at 9:53 am

    I think what I like about facial hair is when it is worn neatly. I am not a fan of the long scraggly look. My husband always had a ‘stache and shaved it off in January ’09 when he had his colon cancer surgery. Our kids were blown away cuz they’d never seen him without his moustache. He grew it back pretty quickly. And he’s done a goatee from time to time. It’s been a long while since he had a beard and he’s getting many compliments on the one he currently has. It’s pure white, too, and he’s got a tummy so I’m wondering if he has aspirations to repeat his gig as Santa that he did in ’82 when he was out of work for a few months. This time he won’t need the fake beard and eyebrows!

    I scrolled through the Met Gala photos at the NYT and boy oh boy – forget the ladies’ outfits. Idris Elba’s jacket was my favorite! And I got a glimpse of Pedro Pascal’s knees!

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  60. Deborah said on May 2, 2023 at 10:09 am

    Neck beards are the worst. I think that’s what they call those that look like they’re coming out under the chin or just at the edge of the chin line. They usually don’t have a mustache when they have them, which is even worse.

    There are guys in New Mexico who wear those cowboy outfits when they get dressed up, the hat, the boots, the jackets with ornamental stitching, bolo ties, the whole nine yards. It’s not so bad.

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  61. 4dbirds said on May 2, 2023 at 10:10 am

    I am a beardist, gagging at all styles. However, it is not my beard and none of my business what someone else does with their body. It is much like men who loudly complain about women who wear makeup. How they hate it. So what? Hate it all you want, just shut up and let people be.

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  62. 4dbirds said on May 2, 2023 at 10:13 am

    As far as the English monarchy, I am team Harry and Megan even with his occasional beards.

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  63. Jeff Gill said on May 2, 2023 at 10:22 am

    When we visited grandma’s in Kansas, Illinois, she had a deck of “Authors” we could play. A 52 card deck with jacks and queens was right out; she also was unhappy about churches with candles on the communion table. We won’t start on drinking and going into restaurants where it turned out alcohol was served.

    But she was fine with “Authors,” because it was educational. It sure looked like a card game, but without numbers and suits, you could play it at the dining room table. I wonder how she would have felt about Uno; we had “Mille Bornes” at home, but Mom said not to bring it. I think she was uneasy about how her mother would react.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authors_(card_game)

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  64. Dexter Friend said on May 2, 2023 at 10:38 am

    Jeff B . mentioned beard-to- cover chin technique.
    I worked with a a man who always had a full beard until one day he showed up clean shaven. A a coworker stopped me and shockingly said “ look at Rodney! He has no chin “
    And by gawd he didn’t. He just had a crease atop his neck. His beard was immediately grown back out.

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  65. jerry said on May 2, 2023 at 10:48 am

    Facial hair became acceptable amongst younger people when The Beatles appeared very hirsute. I got married in 1967 (think Sgt Pepper) and attempted to grow a moustache – it was so pitiful I shaved it off after three months and found nobody had even noticed I was growing one!

    Subsequently I have seldom been clean shaven – moustache, full beard or goatee. In the late seventies I shaved everything off; when I went into work a guy I shared an office with didn’t notice for three days.

    Last went clean shaven about eight years ago when raising money for Movember. Since then a moustache or goatee now a mix of ginger and white. I just don’t look right with no facial hair.

    Not shaving my head yet just have Myra clip it very short every few weeks.

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  66. Dexter Friend said on May 2, 2023 at 10:55 am

    Dad was a dapper dresser on Sundays and workdays, in fresh shirt and tie and suit, never sport coat and slacks.
    When he died and one of his suits was sent for him to be buried in, something happened. During visitation, the first thing we noticed was that he was in a completely different suit . The funeral Director saw us and came over apologetically and said that the suit was destroyed when it was being prepared for clothing, the body. As you know, the back of the suit is cut out and tucked around the body in the casket. Someone screwed up the tailoring and ruined the suit for presentation. Now this is something I didn’t know: funeral homes, sometimes have clothing for families who don’t have proper burial clothes to send along. So Dad was buried in a donated suit. That bothered me very little at the time, but as the years now, decades have gone by, I just wish it hadn’t happened that way.

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  67. Little Bird said on May 2, 2023 at 10:58 am

    I know a guy who just cut 18 inches off his beard. He used special beard products to keep it nice. He still does actually. If the beard is well maintained, fine. Whatever. A beard CAN look nice, but not all of them do.
    And as a side note, it appears some people just have to stir the pot, over the most ridiculous things.

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  68. Scout said on May 2, 2023 at 5:00 pm

    I have never been a royal watcher, but I was affected by Diana’s death back in ’97. She had just started coming into her own doing a lot of work with AIDS patients and bringing awareness to land mines. Even back then we all knew the paparazzi hounded her to her death. I paid no attention to the Harry and Meghan story until recently when I watched their documentary, and then I read Spare. I still find the monarchy of no interest but I have found myself oddly sympathetic to H & M; Charles, Camilla and Willy do not come off well at all, nor do the courtiers with their own agendas who took advantage of the Queen near the end of her life. The British tabloids need to be sued out of existence, and that includes Murdoch for all the evil he has wrought there as well as here in the US.

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  69. Sherri said on May 2, 2023 at 5:32 pm

    Another thing the Dems should have done when they had the majority but didn’t is get rid of the stupid, pointless debt ceiling. Once again, Republicans are going to hold the world economy hostage by threatening US default to get a wish list of spending cuts that will be harmful.

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