“Man’s best friend”?

“One-hundred-thirteen years of editorial freedom,” states the masthead on The Michigan Daily. But only about five minutes of simple grammar instruction, to judge from this column that ran in the student newspaper yesterday:

A disclaimer for readers: This column may offend some people, but due to popular demand and much discussion (and maybe even some coaxing), it has been brought to my attention that this column really needs to be written.

Many a Sunday morning I have risen from my bedroom, joined my housemates at our table and drank three cups of coffee, all the while discussing an issue that plagues this campus: The Michigan Hookup. Also known as man�s best friend, giving head, going down and other terminology that I shall never put into print, I am talking about the blow job.

I make it a policy not to jeer at student journalism, having produced too much jeer-worthy material myself. So I’ll leave the jeering to you.

Posted at 11:40 am in Uncategorized |

10 responses to ““Man’s best friend”?”

  1. kathy said on January 30, 2004 at 12:21 pm

    Engineering student? (Stop! Stop! Stop throwing those slide rules!! Ouch! That hurts!)

    In MY day, everything in the Michigan Daily was better-written than everything in the Detroit News and Free Press combined. But them days is over, it seems.

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  2. alex said on January 30, 2004 at 12:38 pm

    Grammar aside, the piece was much more “in your face” than it needed to be. I’d be the first to admit that blowjobs and the male double standard are delightful subject matter, though. With a little bit of deftness, that could have been a rollicking good column.

    The advice is a little on the weak side as well. A blowjob preserves a girl’s honor? Please. And Clinton didn’t inhale either. Equality of the sexes won’t be achieved until 69 is the gold standard for first-timers.

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  3. Nance said on January 30, 2004 at 12:49 pm

    This is a prime example of a girl who needs to stop watching “Sex and the City.” Yes, it could have been a rolicking good column. I, for one, would like to know how this particular act came to be known as a Michigan hookup; I mean, I gotcher local angle right there. But now everyone wants to be Carrie Bradshaw. Pity.

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  4. Jennifer said on January 30, 2004 at 3:37 pm

    Wow! I never knew they ONLY did blow jobs in Michigan! What a shock! What a foreign sexual concept this is!

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  5. deb said on January 30, 2004 at 10:04 pm

    the part that cracked me up was the rhapsodizing about this being a u of m “tradition.” hur-yuk, us yokels in southern ahia never did nothin’ like THAT between the sheet! hooo-eee!

    what hubris. goddamn youngsters; kids always think THEIR generation was the one that invented sex.

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  6. Paul said on January 31, 2004 at 12:28 am

    Actually, my generation did invent sex, since we were all born by immaculate conception. Or at least that’s what we tell ourselves.

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  7. beth said on January 31, 2004 at 3:04 am

    I agree with all that this columnn is VERY-CARRIE wannabe. But, sex on college campuses is now on a whole new level. I wonder if I should email the columnist, and introduce her to what we, undergrads in Connecticut referred to as the “head-shove”. And the worst is that all of my guy friends readily admit that the friendly “head-shove” gets better results than anything else. PLEASE…as if one school can claim ownerships to BJs!

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  8. jcburns said on January 31, 2004 at 12:13 pm

    You understand this was from their ‘annual spoof issue,” right? (Although I thought those were sposed to be on April 1…)

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  9. Nance said on January 31, 2004 at 1:48 pm

    Nope, the annual spoof issue was the day after this ran.

    Speaking of which, I was baffled by its appearance at such an odd time, too. I was told the spoof issue is the last one done by the old staff before they turn the reins over to the next one. Why they make this shift in the fourth week of the second semester remains a mystery.

    (JC, I though *our* April Fools’ issues were much funnier, although no one else did.)

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  10. lawrence said on January 31, 2004 at 2:45 pm

    Dang, That’s what the cheerleaders are yelling:

    GO BIG BLEW!!!

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