Buckeye state of mind.

Sorry for yet another unexplained absence. Short version: The downside to having relatives your kid can sell Girl Scout cookies to is, you have to go deliver the things, and sometimes this means hundreds of miles of driving.

But Aunt Pam and Uncle Charlie got their Peanut Butter Patties. Uncle Charlie did, anyway; Aunt Pam ordered nought but Shortbreads.

And Kate and I had a chance to travel through Ohio on two bright winter days. I made notes — mental notes, because I was driving — for a creative-writing assignment that’s due, like, Tuesday. Theme: Travelogue. Task: Craft a rough short-short plot around a trip. I tried to think of fiction set in northwestern Ohio. Came up with one, “A Simple Plan.” I read that book once, loved it, and could never bring myself to read it again, and put off seeing the movie until it had left the Current Releases shelf at Blockbuster. The book was so evocative of the feeling a person might have, being stuck in a dead-end town very much like the one my husband is from, that I couldn’t bear to go through it twice. It actually made my chest feel tight.

I don’t think my short story will be that good.

Tomorrow, we deliver cookies to Fort Wayne. On Sunday, back to Ohio. God help me, these are some expensive cookies.

I passed time in Ohio reading reviews of “The Passion of the Christ.” David Edelstein wins the Best Blurbs award, for “the film the Jews don’t want you to see,” “a two hour and six minute snuff film” and “the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre.” “What does this protracted exercise in sadomasochism have to do with Christian faith?” isn’t really a blurb (nor is my first example, really — it’s his distillation of Mel Gibson’s marketing strategy — but I think it makes a good blurb, just the same), but it’s a good question.

Then I got home. Guess what? Someone — lots of someones, actually — have spotted an actual live wolverine in the Thumb, making this the first actual sighting of a wolverine in the Wolverine State, ever. So what does the Freep do with it? Makes a cute story out of it, complete with proposed fun names for the poor beast. Sigh. I give up.

Back in a day or two.

Posted at 9:20 pm in Uncategorized |

7 responses to “Buckeye state of mind.”

  1. mark stryker said on February 28, 2004 at 8:03 am


    Without endorsing or rejecting the cute wolverine story, I would point out for the record that the story you linked to is a second day story. The Freep ran a serious news story about the sighting the day before. In fact, the story was the centerpiece of the front-page. The seed of the cute-name follow was introduced in a box to engender reader response.

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  2. Mindy said on February 28, 2004 at 8:41 am

    Wow, Girl Scout cookies delivered! I hope that Aunt Pam and Uncle Charlie appreciate that.

    My cookies are ordered from nieces in Valparaiso and Osceola but certainly don’t get delivered. They are instead placed in a freezer to await pickup and often fall prey to brothers-in-law and nephews. Or else they taste awful – Freezer Burn Thin Mints.

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  3. Nance said on February 28, 2004 at 9:10 am

    Well, even as a second-day story, I’d respond: It’s a damn wild animal, not a mascot. But we all bow down before the altar of “reader response” these days, don’t we?

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  4. deb said on February 28, 2004 at 11:19 pm

    hey, if you’re delivering girl scout cookies, you can sign me up as a 2005 customer right now. i’ll take one of everything.

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  5. beth said on February 29, 2004 at 2:16 am

    But frozen Thin Mints are the best! And nothing beats the caramel ones, no matter what they are called this year! I am a sucker for GS cookies, and buy at least 8 boxes a year, but end up throwing them out ’cause I don’t like cookies all that mcuh.

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  6. ashley said on February 29, 2004 at 12:19 pm

    In the voice of Homer Simpson: “mmmm…thin mints….”

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  7. Connie said on February 29, 2004 at 8:10 pm

    Girl Scout cookies? I too would like delivery. I must not have any GSs in my neighborhood this year, they missed me completely.

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