So simple.

As a person who drinks responsibly, I have something to say to all of you who don’t:

Stop throwing beers at arrogant, overpaid basketball players when they’re being particularly childish and toddler-like. Then we can all have an occasional beer at the ballpark/concert venue, and we won’t have to listen to any of that “because a few of you couldn’t follow the rules, all of you will have to pay” crapola. Jeez, people, is it so hard? You paid money for the beer; hold the beer in your hand so you can continue to sip from the cup. Why waste an arena-priced beer — $8 or so, depending on your geographic area — on some multimillionaire jerk?

It makes so much sense. Maybe this is the sort of conclusion you can arrive at only when you’re relatively sober. Anyway, Uncle Grambo has a pretty good roundup of links on the Pacers/Pistons fiasco, including the remarkably apt description of ESPN bobblehead Stephen A. Smith as a “supreme douchebag,” which was certainly my reaction when I read this from him today:

As I watched footage for the first time, before going live on ESPN, what I saw mainly was a drink tossed in Artest’s face, Artest’s charge into the stands, punches being thrown from all directions, and players fending for themselves. Initially, I felt like I would have done what Artest did. But . . . I did not know that Artest grabbed the wrong fan, that Jackson had elected to go into the crowd and throw haymakers without provocation from any blows being thrown in his direction. I wasn’t aware that an elderly man was seen writhing in pain on the floor, that the son of Pistons forward Darvin Ham was shaken to tears by the incident.

So if, somehow, he had hit the correct fan, that would have made it all OK? Ohhh-kay.

Posted at 8:07 pm in Uncategorized |

18 responses to “So simple.”

  1. beth said on November 23, 2004 at 12:51 am

    My first reaction when I saw the fight was to suspend the entire Pistons team for the season. Then I realized that among the bloated salaries there had to be a small number of players who actually played basketball because they loved it, and for a living. Not for the millions, but for a living. Is the crowd to blame? I don’t think so. If you are paying upwards of $8 for a beer on top of tickets and parking, and see an overpriced, egomaniac throwing punches at innocent bystanders, it puts it all into perspective. Give me college basketball any day, where at least a larger pool of future miscreants are trying their hardest to get to the big leagues. And they at least have to pretend to be intelligent.

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  2. Nance said on November 23, 2004 at 3:56 am

    Nah, it was the Pacers guys who deserved the suspension. Of course, now their fans are the ones screaming the loudest, if you read the Indy papers. My favorite comment: “I have a 10-year-old daughter. And I’d have done the same thing Artest did.” How lucky your daughter must be, jerk.

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  3. James said on November 23, 2004 at 8:10 am

    Funny… it looked to me like the players were already in the stands confronting fans when the beer was thrown. I was pretty amazed that what the NBA came up with was all against the fans, when it looked like the players were responsible for the fracas.

    Actually… I just wanted an excuse to use the word “fracas.”

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  4. John said on November 23, 2004 at 8:21 am

    NBA stopped being about basketball years ago.

    Off to visit the in-laws (and kids) in Virginia…To all those in Land, Happy T-Day and for anyone who is celebrating double on Thursday, Happy B-Day!

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  5. ashley said on November 23, 2004 at 11:02 am

    “NBA stopped being about basketball years ago”.

    Reminds me of Edward Norton’s character’s speech in 25th Hour: “uptown brothers; they never pass the ball, they don�t wanna play defense, they take five steps on every lay up, and then they wanna turn around and blame everything on the white man.”

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  6. juan said on November 23, 2004 at 12:07 pm

    Well, it would sure make me feel a lot better if he had slugged the correct fan.

    Personal responsibility folks.

    If you bait the bear, and the bear bites you, don’t bring your indignity to me.

    This is the same kind of logic by which it’s perfectly socially acceptable for women to assault, slap, and kick men in the balls, but men are expected to always exercise perfect restraint.

    If a Palestinian throws a rock at a machinegun- laden Israeli soldier, and the soldier shoots him, that’s not murder. That’s Darwinism.

    If you bait the bear, expecting some artificial, sociological mechanism to protect you from the basest of human responses, you may get more than you expected.

    As we learned today, that “fan” had a longer criminal record than Arness. Arness is an idiot, but if security looked the other way when it was to protect Arness, then spare me the violins for all the crying, traumatized children.

    As Vonnegut says in Slaughterhouse Five, the theme of the Bible is “Don’t fuck with people in positions of power.” If you bait the bear, you lose your soapbox for the indignity of being eaten.

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  7. Mary said on November 23, 2004 at 12:31 pm

    I saw Artest on the Today show this morning, giving his first interview since the fracas (that is a nice word, isn’t it). He did nothing to convince me he wasn’t a jerk, and kept holding up his new CD (“it’s all love songs, not rap”).

    A month or so ago on NPR there was a discussion of the influence of ESPN on sports, and how it’s turned players into showboating egomaniacs instead of team members. As a Knicks fan pre- ESPN days, I agree somewhat. There is some underlying tolerance of asshole mentality that’s been going on for a while in sports and music and other aspects of our culture. Why are we acting surprised at any of this?

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  8. Danny said on November 23, 2004 at 12:57 pm

    juan, I am not sure who the audience is for that post. Everyone here pretty much acknowledges that there is plenty of blame to go around.

    Regarding your blast about women slapping men, I hope you are not suggesting that men should hit women…EVER. That is just sick.

    And being very pro-Israel, I think it cheapens that situation by juxtaposing it with this stupid basketball story.

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  9. Nance said on November 23, 2004 at 1:23 pm

    Just for the record, it’s been, wow, ages since I kicked anyone in the balls. Like, never.

    Although I’ve been tempted!

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  10. brian stouder said on November 23, 2004 at 1:41 pm

    I shall now (ever so discreetly) just…. cross my legs

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  11. ashley said on November 23, 2004 at 10:12 pm

    Nance: “Just for the record, it’s been, wow, ages since I kicked anyone in the balls. Like, never”.

    My daughter did that to me about 5 minutes ago. I think I’m getting callouses.

    And wasn’t Arness the guy that played Marshal Matt Dillon?

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  12. deb said on November 23, 2004 at 10:42 pm

    the one thing that surprises me is that these bozos actually make me wistful for the whimsical antics of dennis rodman and latrell sprewell. the pistons make those two look like choirboys.

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  13. deb said on November 23, 2004 at 10:45 pm

    excuse me, i meant the pacers. i’ve hated the pistons for so long that trashing them is pure reflex.

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  14. deb said on November 23, 2004 at 10:50 pm

    this is funny. an posting dated nov. 9 reports the pacers coach forced artest to sit out a game for undisclosed reasons. all rick carlisle would say is that they had “a situation.”

    the money quote, from teammate stephen jackson: “we need our all-star back, and he’ll be back…this is the last you’ll hear of this.” har.

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  15. Nance said on November 24, 2004 at 3:51 am

    That was, I believe, the fight they had over whether Artest could take an unscheduled break to promote his rap CD.

    His rap CD. Can you believe this? At least MJ never asked for a break to sell his shoes.

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  16. juan said on November 24, 2004 at 11:59 am


    To answer your question, that post was aimed at people with a Stanford-Binet quotient about 20 points higher than yours.

    You used the word “sick” in your post. I hope that doesn’t mean that you are a criminally insane psychopath, who is not taking their bipolar medication that the psychologist perscribed when you relayed your fantasies about killing children???? That would be BAD!

    Sheesh. I despair at the lack of intelligent discourse.

    Danny, educate yourself. Google the following topics: “Logical fallacies” “Ad hominem” “Rules of debate” “Aristotle”

    Read it. Learn it. Live it.

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  17. juan said on November 24, 2004 at 12:08 pm

    (Ironically enough, though, I WAS advocating the ancient art of bearbaiting, but nobody wanted to call me to task on that one. Go figure.)

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  18. Danny said on November 24, 2004 at 12:58 pm

    You’re funny, jaun. Since it is the eve of the holiday, I’ll give you a pass on the vitriol. But remember: you may be a fellow conservative, but I will not give you a pass in the future. Class dismissed. Have a good holiday 🙂

    Oh, one question. I was re-reading your post. What did you mean about my “fantasies of killing children?” I am pro-life. Are you confusing me with someone else?

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