I can get you in.

Locals and regular readers know the basic outline of NN.C’s new home office: What most people in the rest of the country call “Grosse Pointe” is actually “the Pointes.” There are five — GP Park, GP Farms, GP Shores, GP Woods and just plain GP, aka “the city.” About 58,000 people live in all five municipalities, the Shores being the smallest, the Woods the largest. We’re in the Woods.

Is there a pecking order among the quintet? But of course. The Park and the Woods are at the bottom. The Park is closest to Detroit, and has a few blocks of modest houses, even duplexes and rentals. The rest of the Park is glorious, and my one true regret is we didn’t find a place there. It was the first of the five to be developed, in the ’20s, and there are some really wonderful craftsman houses down there, among scores of others. (Also, it went for Kerry in ’04. My people.)

And why is the Woods down there too? Too large, too…affordable. You can still get into the Woods for under $200K, if you aren’t too picky. It’s also the only one of the five that has no lakefront lots, for whatever that’s worth. But all but the Shores has a pretty decent mix of middle class-to-plutocrat housing, which is one of the things I like about the area.

So, then, five municipalities. We share a school system and a public library, but everything else is separate. Five police departments. Five trash contracts. And five parks departments. Each city has its own lakefront park (the Park has two). Each is private, accessible to residents with a pass, which you have to show at the gate. “Hey, a little bit of South Africa right here at home,” I quipped to the Realtor, who at least chuckled. But I didn’t know how far it went.

Park passes are not honored across the Pointes. A Woods resident can’t get into the Farms park, and vice versa. Each has something to put it above the others. The Woods has the best pool and biggest marina, for which I’m thankful, because we have a slip and my friend John, in the Park, is sitting on a 10-year waiting list for one there. The Farms’ has a beach. The Shores’ is — well, I don’t know. Haven’t been there. The Park has both a state-of-the-art fitness facility (your tax dollars at work) and a freakin’ movie theater, which shows first-run movies after about a two-week delay. (The lack of nearby movie theaters is a real sore point for this movie lover; we drove 30 miles one-way to see that Enron flick last month.)

I guess I can’t really blame them; the parks approach country-club levels of amenities, and you don’t want to give those away to people who haven’t paid for them. But there’s something creepy, in such a segregated metro area, in having restricted parks. (GP is not alone; St. Clair Shores has them, too.) A few weeks ago the GP school board president got in hot water for suggesting, to a newspaper reporter, that this area is “uncomfortable with diversity.” There was a week of letter-to-the-editor outrage, followed by another week of the other side having its say. Someone made the suggestion: Why not let non-residents into the parks, if they pay a fee? Capital idea. At least I could see a first-run movie once in a while, without driving 60 miles round-trip.

(Also, the school board president was right, but face it: Every community is uncomfortable with diversity. It’s just human nature. We’re tribal primates.)

So, bloggage:

This is a long read, but worth it, if you’re interested in such things: You know those guys who donate to sperm banks? What happens when they meet their offspring?

I’m on the record — you could look up the links if you’re so inclined, but I’m not — as opposed to list journalism. VH1 names the 100 greatest rock songs of all time. Rolling Stone lists the 50 best album covers. And blah to the blah to the blizzle, etc. They exist for one reason — to get the listmaker’s name in the press as much as possible. Editors and producers have a lot of space to fill, and if someone else does the heavy lifting, what’s a little back-scratching among friends? So I’m not going to comment on the AFI List of Top 100 U.S. Movie Quotes, except to note, oh, the bottom five:

96. “Snap out of it!”, “Moonstruck,” 1987.

97. “My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you,” “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” 1942.

98. “Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” “Dirty Dancing,” 1987.

99. “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”, “The Wizard of Oz,” 1939.

100. “I’m king of the world!”, “Titanic,” 1997.

I can’t think of a day that goes by when I don’t tell someone, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” I ask you.

Sorry, but I think this story is funny.

And another action-packed day awaits! The coffee must be kicking in! I’m using exclamation points!

Posted at 9:08 am in Uncategorized |
 

38 responses to “I can get you in.”

  1. blue girl said on June 23, 2005 at 10:29 am

    Ok, I’ll bite. I just checked out “the list.” And will now comment on it! I do say “You talkin’ to me?” quite often. And I sometimes answer “We rob banks” imitating Faye Dunaway perfectly when people ask what business my husband and I are in.

    But, here’s my complaint (of course there has to be complaining) — Annie Hall shows up at 55? With La-dee-da, La-dee-da??

    I would have picked, “That’s ok, I can walk to the curb from here.”

    I wish someone would put a special together on Seinfeld-isms people still say frequently, even after all these years.

    Mine would be, “They look like keys, George. They look just like keys.”

  2. MarkH said on June 23, 2005 at 10:42 am

    Everyone, of course, will have a favorite omission from this list. Here’s mine:

    Wilford Brimley in 1982’s “Absence of Malice”. Literally holding court with the ignoramous main characters, tying the many loose ends of the movie together, promises,

    “…I’m gonna have somebody’s ass in my briefcase.”

  3. Dorothy said on June 23, 2005 at 11:20 am

    Don’t get me started on movie quotes. (Blue Girl – the “walk to the curb” quote is one of my favorites) Any time we see a Jaguar in traffic, someone in my family says “I left my Jag in Kansas City!” (spoken by Richard Pryor in Silver Streak)

    Jack Warden speaking to Paul Newman about James Mason’s character in “The Verdict”: He’s the Prince of fu**ing darkness!”

  4. mary said on June 23, 2005 at 11:24 am

    I’m glad crocheted sculpture is getting some attention. My freshman year at art school, we were given an assignment to use two materials we pulled out of a grab bag in class to make something. I got a package of firecrackers and some yellow crochet cotton. I made a very attractive explosive scarf and hat set. The teacher liked it, but I think its grannyish qualities put off my hip classmates.

  5. colleen said on June 23, 2005 at 12:21 pm

    Huh. My favorite quote from “Mommie Dearest” has to be “Don’t F— with me fellas, this isn’t my first time at the rodeo”.

    That, or “Christinaaaaaaa. Bring my my axe!”

  6. mary said on June 23, 2005 at 12:29 pm

    I like the line in Raising Arizona, when Nathan Arizona was asked what the pajamas his kidnapped baby was wearing looked like, he said, “I don’t know, they got Yodas and shit on them.”

  7. John said on June 23, 2005 at 12:39 pm

    Two from one of my favorite movies:

    I guess there’s just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone: MY kind of people, and a–holes.

    Connie Marble, you stand convicted of a–holeism!

  8. Joe said on June 23, 2005 at 1:10 pm

    Smoky and the bandit.

    Its not germain to the situation

    The god damn Germans got nothin to do with it

    and

    There is no way you could have come from my loins. The first thing I am going to do when we get home is punch your momma right in the mouth.

    and no I don’t advocate hitting woman I just thought in the contexts of the movie it was a funny line.

    Joe

  9. Nance said on June 23, 2005 at 1:21 pm

    See, I cannot take this list seriously. Not when they omitted this:

    “In Italy for 30 years the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed. They produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace. And what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”

    Maybe it was too long to be considered “a line.”

  10. jeff said on June 23, 2005 at 2:25 pm

    I have been under the impression that it’s illegal for a taxpayer supported park to limit who can come in. I was told that this is a federal law.

    Am I wrong on this?

  11. mary said on June 23, 2005 at 2:26 pm

    From Best in Show:

    “We have a lot of interests in common. We both like soup. We both like snow peas. We could just not talk or talk forever, and still find things to not talk about.”

  12. Dwight Brown said on June 23, 2005 at 2:28 pm

    “Maybe it was too long to be considered “a line.””

    Actually, the part that starts with “In Switzerland…” was on the AFI’s list of 400 nominees, from which the top 100 were apparently pulled.

    Other omissions that I think should have been there:

    “Excuse me while I whip this out.” (On the 400 list.)

    “That’s it. Out you two pixies go – through the door, or out the window.” (I don’t like the movie that much, but I use that line sometimes at work. And that line didn’t even make the top 400.)

  13. Nance said on June 23, 2005 at 2:31 pm

    Well, I think they can limit park entrance to taxpayers. Wouldn’t you think? And if they don’t take money from other sources, and don’t discriminate on any other basis, I think it’d be kosher.

    Mary, you and I should have a movie night. We laugh at the same things. My fave “Raising Arizona” line: “You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin Donuts, hire a cop.”

  14. Dorothy said on June 23, 2005 at 2:35 pm

    MARY!!! Best in Show has all the BEST lines! “Talk or not talk” is another family favorite! (Can you do the toothless lip smacking and eye blinking the old man does while Jennifer Coolidge does her lines?? Cracks me up every time I see it.)

    “She’s freaking out!! She’s not responding to the Busy Bee!”

  15. blue girl said on June 23, 2005 at 2:48 pm

    Another funny line — from “The Jerk”:

    “It’s the cans! They hate the cans!!”

  16. mary said on June 23, 2005 at 3:45 pm

    Dorothy

    I don’t do the old guy. I do the blonde who is speaking. The nice lispy “s” sound on soup and snow peas? I have that down.

  17. MarkH said on June 23, 2005 at 4:18 pm

    “Raising Arizona”…great lines throughout. My standout is Holly Hunter’s, to Tex Cobb, “…you gimme back that baby, you warthog from HELL!”

    RE: “I don’t like the movie that much…” Dwight, you must be a curmudgeon.

    “Isn’t is winderful?! I’m going to jail!”

  18. MarkH said on June 23, 2005 at 4:27 pm

    Sorry; it should have been, “Isn’t is WONDERFUL?! I’m going to jail!”

  19. Dorothy said on June 23, 2005 at 4:33 pm

    “The nice lispy “s” sound on soup and snow peas? I have that down.” Ditto, Mary. My daughter does the old guy and slays me each time.

    Holly Hunter has such a great voice. I love her in The Firm when, after David Straithern (spelling?) tells her “I love your crooked smile!”, she says in return “Really?! It’s not my best feature!”

  20. Nance said on June 23, 2005 at 4:35 pm

    “Hi? I’m barren!”

    “Now go out there and bring me back a toddler!”

    But she doesn’t get all the good lines. Many times while trying to get pregnant I wondered if my insides were a rocky place upon which Alan’s seed could find no purchase. Or however that line goes.

  21. ashley said on June 23, 2005 at 5:25 pm

    “Care for some gopher?”

    “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”

    “Germans?”

    “Forget it, he’s rolling.”

    …and one of my favorites, from Used Cars “That’s just too fucking high!” as the Mercedes is blown up.

  22. Dwight Brown said on June 23, 2005 at 5:25 pm

    “Dwight, you must be a curmudgeon.” MarkH, I am deeply flattered by that comment. Thank you.

    “It’s the cans! They hate the cans!!” One of my two favorite bits from Mark Bowden’s *Black Hawk Down* (the book: this didn’t make it into the movie) involved two soldiers who were pinned behind a downed helicopter while the bad guys shot at them. One yells across to the other, “They hate the cans! Stay away from the cans!” I could only hope to be that cool under fire.

  23. alex said on June 23, 2005 at 7:18 pm

    “I’d [xxxx] you but I just washed my hair.”

    My fave, though dunno whether it made the cut.

  24. ashley said on June 23, 2005 at 7:43 pm

    Now, they picked Strother Martin’s version of failure to communicate, and not Paul Newman’s…hmmmm.

    “Fresca?”

    “These go to eleven”

    “Scouts?”

    “Oh. That goes there”

    “I’m a soldier”

    “You’re an errand boy”

    “Fuck Sosa! Fuck the fuckin’ Diaz brothers. I spit on those cockroaches”

    “We’re on a mission from God”

    “I shit bigger than you”

    “Hey bud, let’s party”:

    “Does your dog bite?”

    “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

    “I got nowhere else to go!”

    “You better get remarried soon, or your son’s gonna have a cock in his mouth quicker than you can say ‘Jack Robinson'”

  25. alex said on June 23, 2005 at 8:24 pm

    Oh, and I forgot to mention that they do the same thing in the parks on Chicago’s north shore. Not that it ever stopped city rabble like me from going to Glencoe to smoke pot on the beach.

  26. Carmella said on June 23, 2005 at 8:27 pm

    “You’re not to smart are you? I like that in a man.”

    “Our lady of blessed acelleration, don’t fail me now.”

    “You can stick your head up a cows ass looking for a good t-bone, but I’d rather take my butchers word for it.”

  27. ashley said on June 23, 2005 at 8:33 pm

    Nice, Carmella. Reminded me of another from Animal House:

    “rrrrramming speeeeeed!”

  28. deb said on June 23, 2005 at 8:34 pm

    this is unfortunante, mentioning a child after that last quote, but oh well: my 11-year-old son does a DEVASTATING holly hunter impersonation from “the incredibles.” nance, jc, be sure to ask next time you see him. “c’mon, ladies. leave the saving of the world to men? ah don’t sink so. ah don’t sink so.”

  29. ashley said on June 23, 2005 at 8:46 pm

    How often do foreign languages get quoted?

    Remeber the Deer Hunter?

    MAO! MAO!

  30. Nance said on June 23, 2005 at 9:28 pm

    I believe it’s “didi mao!” Which I think means, “do it now!” You’ll have to ask a Vietnam vet, though.

    Just for the hell of it though, here’s a new one: “If anyone orders merlot, I am LEAVING. I am NOT drinking fucking merlot!”

  31. MarkH said on June 24, 2005 at 12:09 am

    My first reaction, Nance?: “What ABOUT merlot?!” (Sigh…)

    “The Formula”: Detective George C. Scott to oil baron Marlon Brando after being told to quit investigating international oil high-jinx and “take his son rafting down the Colorado; you’ll love it”:

    “Let me tell you something. If I didn’t have a son that still loved me, I’d blow your f****n’ brains out all over that wall back there, right here, right now. But I’m not in the murder business, and you’re not worth one more minute of my time.”

    Another Pacino classic:

    “The prosecution is NOT gonna get that man today. No. Because I’M gonna get him. That man there, my client, the Honorable Judge Henry T. Fleming, should go straight to F*****G JAIL!”

  32. ashley said on June 24, 2005 at 4:12 am

    George C. Scott, Hardcore:

    “Turn it off. Turn it off. Turn it OFF. TURN IT OFF!”

  33. Dorothy said on June 24, 2005 at 6:29 am

    I just l-o-v-e it when the comments in Nance’s website swell to over 30!

  34. Jeff said on June 24, 2005 at 1:50 pm

    I take it as a point of personal pride that I knew Nancy was quoting from ‘The Third Man’ without being prompted!

    Then again, as my father once said, “if you’d used that brain space for something other than movie quotes, imagine what you could accomplish…”

    Of course, he’s the same guy who told me to sit my ass down and watch a classic called ‘The Third Man.’

    Here’s two classic and a newbie:

    “What do they call you up there in Philadelphia, boy? They call me MISTER Tibbs.” (In The Heat of the Night)

    “Look at Dave – Dave’s a killer!!

    Dave’s a mess…” (Slapshot)

    “You gonna eat your tots?” (Napolean Dynamite)

  35. ashley said on June 24, 2005 at 3:37 pm

    Basically, every third line in Slap Shot is a keeper.

    “You go to the box, you feel shame.”

    More from other movies:

    “Spalding!”

    “Are you a Mex-I-Can, or a Mex-I-Can’t?”

    “I can’t see, fuck mook. I have no eyes”

  36. harry near indy said on June 25, 2005 at 3:39 am

    to ashley and others who quoted animal house:

    bluto’s whole speech was hilarious and, at the same time, inspiring. “was it over when the germans bombed pearl harbor?” — a classic line.

    but one quote sticks out from that movie.

    as dear wormer says to flounder:

    “fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

  37. Carmella said on June 25, 2005 at 8:09 am

    “Why any kid would want to be an orphan is beyond me.”

  38. Ray said on October 5, 2005 at 2:06 pm

    I am looking fo an audio clip of Strother Martin’s Welcome Speech from Cool Hand Luke. It’s the one where he tells about going to “the box”