That’ll be $200, butterfingers.

So, after my 3,000-word job last week, which came at the last minute and so counts as a financial windfall, I was feeling flush. Went to Lowe’s on Monday and bought a ceiling fan for my office. What’s $119? I earned it!

Came home and found the dishwasher had finally given up the ghost. There’s $400 right there. Then, yesterday, I spilled half a cup of coffee on the couch, which will necessitate a visit by Stanley Steemer. Might as well have them do the carpet while they’re here; it needs it — $200 more.

What is that deathless line of Ice Cube’s? Didn’t have to use my AK / I’d have to say, it was a good day. I need one of those days.

I guess yesterday was pretty good, coffee spill and all. There were many fine, fine one-liners about the Limpbaugh affair:

Who knew the EIB Network stood for Erection in a Bottle?TBogg.

Men have needs, and if Viagra enables the little fella to jut proudly from the folds of the dragon kimono bequeathed to Rush by the late Allan Bloom, it is not for us to cast judgement.James Wolcott

I spent much of yesterday, the final day of existence for Knight Ridder, jotting down notes for a possible essay on Life in the KR Minors, a sector of the company overlooked by …pretty much everyone. I say “possible” because I’m not sure I want to brand myself as unemployable forever and ever, but I figure if I make it zingy enough, someone might be dumb enough to hire me later. I dunno, it may just end up as notes for a comic novel, who knows? I sent an e-mail to a fellow exile, asking for anecdotes I didn’t remember. He sent this:

There was the time the newspaper did three polls during the mayor’s race between Win Moses Jr., the incumbent, and Paul Helmke. The polls were at the start, in the middle, and eve of election, and fairly well mirrored the final outcome, an upset by Helmke. These were done by a professional polling firm. The next race The News-Sentinel had one poll, done by in-house pollsters in the marketing department. The third elex for Fort Wayne, our polling consisted of a photog asking man on the street questions in front of the library/City-County Building about who they plan to vote for in November. The photographer had to ask the questions and take down the answers because a reporter wasn’t available that day to help out, being assigned something else.

Stop it, you’re killing me. Anyone else want to contribute? You know where to reach me.

Posted at 11:46 am in Media, Same ol' same ol' |

11 responses to “That’ll be $200, butterfingers.”

  1. mary said on June 28, 2006 at 11:59 am

    James Wolcott is wonderful. When I lived in NYC eons ago, he wrote for the Village Voice, and he was wonderful then. I think we all owe Rush a special thank you for just being himself and providing so much fodder for writers like Wolcott.

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  2. brian stouder said on June 28, 2006 at 3:46 pm

    And really – I gotta say – show me a person who is 55 and never had a child to call their own (both to raise, and to learn from) – let alone a long-term, committed relationship with one other person – and (999 times outta 1000) I’ll show you a self-centered nut!

    People who only ever have themselves to think about do just THAT – and they’re loco!

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  3. Dorothy said on June 28, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    We put a fan in our office about 2 months ago and I’m so glad we did. Makes such a difference! It’s the coolest (as in cool-looking) fan in the house, too. Makes me think of Casablanca everytime I turn it on.

    And BTW, I’ve been meaning to chime in on the Viagara stuff. Speaking from personal experience (ahem), this medication is sometimes helpful when a guy is taking medication (blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) that impedes certain functions. That’s all I’m sayin…!

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  4. MichaelG said on June 28, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    Still can’t figure out why he was taking it with him on a solo trip. Maybe Dom Rep is the new Thailand.

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  5. nancy said on June 28, 2006 at 3:56 pm

    I\\\’m sure blue pills are in every girl\\\’s future; that\\\’s not the point, although it makes for an irresistible punchline when a big bag of hypocritical wind gets busted being a repeat offender in his, eh, problem area. (And I don\\\’t mean down there, either.)

    If you follow links around the blogworld, Michael, you\’ll find that is, indeed, the implication — the DR is a new western-hemisphere sex-tourism location, without the hassle of Cuba.

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  6. mary said on June 28, 2006 at 3:59 pm

    The medication Rush was taking was likely the illegal stuff that got him into trouble and caused his deafness. Years of oxycontin by the handful might take the pep out of your step, if you know what I mean.

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  7. Dorothy said on June 28, 2006 at 4:02 pm

    Yes indeedy, I know Mary. I know.

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  8. ellen t said on June 28, 2006 at 6:40 pm

    It’s not like he couldn’t have strolled into any pharmacy in DR and gotten Viagra w/out a prescription. Third World pharmacies, even those that distribute real drugs, not fakes, are not exactly sticklers about having a doctor-signed prescription.

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  9. Danny said on June 28, 2006 at 10:00 pm

    I think I still prefer talking about the passing of Eddie the dog from Frazier than about Rush Limbaugh’s privates. I funny that way.

    From defamer:

    His trainer, Mathilde Halberg, shared how he managed to shake the stigma of being a convicted cat-murderer and go on to become the toast of Hollywood:

    “I saved him from the pound. His owners called me as a last resort,” Halberg recalled. “He was extremely mischievous, always escaping, chewing up things and running off. When he killed a neighbor’s cat and chased some horses, that was it.”

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  10. Dave said on June 29, 2006 at 10:17 pm

    In other words, unlike some celebs who want to tell the world what bad boys they were, Eddie was the real thing.

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  11. Danny said on June 30, 2006 at 12:06 am

    Right, but I couldn’t help but think of O.J. Unfortunately.

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