How bad can a day be when it begins with a bracing cup of Detroit Journalist o’ the Year Ron French? I ask you.
Ron’s package on southeast Michigan’s foreclosure crisis drops today (and to be sure, if I squint I can make out another name on the byline — Mike Wilkinson). As usual, it bangs the hammer of justice on the anvil of truth, and always has another killer anecdote coming down the pike:
Derek Brown knew Detroit had a problem when a grocery clerk he knew quit his job to become a mortgage loan officer. “Everyone was selling mortgages. There were mortgage offices on every block,” said Brown, president of Quorum Commercial and past president of the Detroit Real Estate Brokers Association. “One day bagging groceries and the next day selling my mother a mortgage? What the hell is that?”
Yeah, what the hell is that? Well, I know what I’ll be doing for a big chunk of the morning. Unfortunately, for the rest of the day, I’ll be doing the deadline scramble, to keep my own house out of foreclosure. It’s all good — work = invoices = checks = happy Nance — but something has to take a back seat. So enjoy a few bloggage tidbits; I’m sure you folks will find something to amuse you:
I know someone who claimed to have weighed 14 pounds at birth. In case you’re wondering how big that is, here’s a handy picture. Of course, this mother of this baby had a C-section. The man I knew was born at home, in his parent’s tenement apartment in Chicago, because they couldn’t afford doctors and hospitals. Imagine squeezing that thing out your vagina without drugs and only a neighborhood midwife in attendance.
So that’s why the sink was draining so slowly: Torso found in east-side sewer. Just another day in the action-packed city.
A tech-support question for Appleheads: Some months back, I promised Alex I’d make him a custom “In-a-Gadda-da-Vida” ringtone for his phone. In the past I did this by biting a 30-second chunk of the track, saving it as a separate MP3, and e-mailing it away. (It is, in fact, how I got the opening guitar riff from “Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)” for my own pink Razr. Yes, I am insufferable.) However, the copy of the track I have from the iTunes Music Store doesn’t allow me to export it or change the file format at all. Can I assume this is part of Apple’s digital-rights management system? If so: weiners. I already spent 99 cents for the damn thing; why can’t I mess around with it a little? Also, please don’t tell anyone Alex likes Iron Butterfly, or they won’t let him in any of the gay bars anymore.
Dick Cheney successfully treated for irregular heartbeat. In related news, police report no progress on missing twin newborns at nearby hospital.
Why getting shot in the leg can be very, very dangerous: Because femoral arteries carry a lot of blood. RIP, Sean Taylor.
Finally, things found en route to other things — rap represented in charts and graphs: