A little levity.
“Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials” — and all is explained.
Also, someone at IU needs to catch up with Jack Shafer’s excellent urban-legend debunking on so-called “pharm parties” at Slate. Actually, that particular IU someone needs to catch up with a lot of things. In a new study on substance abuse, a task force recommends: “Raise prices for alcohol and other drugs.” Your alcohol, maybe! Leave mine alone!
(Order your Amazon through me and I earn 4 percent. Click the “powered by Amazon” logo.)
brian stouder said on June 30th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Homosexual didn’t get off to a particularly strong start in the first semifinal, but by the halfway mark he had established a comfortable lead. He slowed somewhat over the final 10 meters-nothing like the way-too-soon complete shutdown that almost cost him Saturday. Asked how he felt, Homosexual said: “A little fatigued.”
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
And if the AP headline had been “Gay finishes strong in come-from-behind win” the autocorrected version might have been banned in Boston
coozledad said on June 30th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I think I have a new name for one of my chickens.
beb said on June 30th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
brian stouder quip about ‘homosexuakl makes come-from –behind victory reminds me of an eipsode of “My Name is Earl” where, over the years, the motto of the boys reform camp has constantly in an attempt to avoid pederstical innuendos.
How does one raise taxes on illegal drugs?
Actually there is an answer. You sell excise taxs which must be affixed to all illicit drugs. When someone gets busts for marijuana, for example. Not only are they in possession of an illegal sustance but would be guilty of tax evasion
Raising taxes on tobacco and alcohol is a dumb idea because once you raise the taxes high enough people won’t stop using tobacco and alcohol, they’ll look for ways to smuggle them in from lower tax states.
Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 30th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Increase the cost? has anyone priced a bottle of Maker’s Mark recently? and Loretto KY isn’t even that far away, so it isn’t all diesel costs …
Jen said on June 30th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Raising the cost of alcohol isn’t going to work, at least not much, at IU (and probably most other colleges). The kids that are abusing drugs and alcohol seemed to be the rich fraternity/sorority kids who are using daddy’s credit card to buy booze and pills. When I was down there, we’d usually make a trip up to Trader Joe’s in Indy to buy some Two-Buck Chuck, or just get a few bottles of Boone’s Farm and make due. But the rich kids would always come into class every day and talk about how they’d gotten smashed the night before.
Also, now that I’m out of college, I’ll be sad if they raise the price of my occasional bottles of Oliver Winery black cherry honey-wine. It’s one of our few indulgences, and we don’t even get it that often!
caliban said on June 30th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Why does some media whore like Huffenpuff continue to rag on Kerry? The deal is pretty obvious, Kerry risked his life and served, W snuck out the back door. Shitheads raising this crap are a bunch of Cheney’s that had other priorities. You can lie your ass off, Kerry’s a hero Baracjk never imagined.
Raygunistas hated Kerry because he exposed them. If you don’t understand this, you’re a moron.
James said on June 30th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Asked how he felt, Homosexual said: “A little fatigued.”
Hmmm… I’m wondering if the “gay-check” also changed that.
Shouldn’t that be “A little fagged out?”
caliban said on June 30th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
So-called progressives that japped on Kerry, how do you feel when barack starts backtracking? Here’s the real deal. Kerry couldn;t believe a president would flat out lie his ass off
Kerry is a hero. Getting shot down doesn;t make you a hero. Avoiding the draft on Daddy.s dime. The entire idea that bailing makes you a hero is repugnant.Blavkwell’s obscene intercention in Ohio is enough to convict the asshole of treason.Anybody that voted for ralpmh is a moron. and elected a war criminal.So much for progressive.
Kerry won, if this scumbag didn;t cheat in Cuhahroga county,.
Gasman said on June 30th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Why punish those who use alcohol responsibly by raising taxes? By that logic, we should raise the price on cars to stop drunk driving, or computers to stop internet crimes.
If the kids are underage, throw their drunken butts in jail, or better yet, jail the adults (or parents) that buy them booze. Down here in Albuquerque they seize and sell the cars of those arrested for DWI, even before conviction. So far, the courts are letting it fly. But, we need radical solutions to the DWI problem here as New Mexico routinely has people with multiple arrests ( I heard of one with as many as 22 previous DWI charges) who get back out and commit more offenses.
Here is an example of one of the more tragic recent cases:
http://www.abqjournal.com/pix/soundslides/danapabstdwi/
caliban said on June 30th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Peace. Take a kook at this website,
As I’ve said. So-called prgroessieves are turning on Barack. Holier than tho.
Kerry was a spetacular patriot, running a Swift Boat and testifying as a Winter Patriot. Swift Boat aholes seem to believe W’s non involvement was excusable.. Well, objecting and turning up as torturer in chief are two entirely different things. How do lying to Congress and lying about Texas national Guard equal anything but mendacity?
Employ common sense. Kerry foresaw a political career, or Nixon’s pet slanders Kerry. The internet is supposed to turn out the whole truth. Who’s a liar about what what he did during VietNam? That would be W., and McCain has jumped on the lying bandwagon. How does getting shot down make anybody a hero> It doesn’t. Wesley Clark left VietNam on a stretcher. W exited Vietnam with a tequila shot.
Poppy left WWII a scared teenager that bailed out. W avoided Vietmam coked to the bills while Kerry served and W’s surrogates maligned him. This is quintessentially Republican.
Party of Dickless Cheney and other priorities. Party of Jack Bauer when you’ve got nothing to lose. Party of torturing the family of Sheik Khalid Mohammed when you couldn’t prove he had anything to do with anything but being an ass kisser to the same Saudis whose ass you were kissing.
Weley Clark s a traitor? Colin Powell is a traitor for covering up war crimes, and furthering the Shock and Awe agenda of the midget that benefitted from American stupidity. Does anybody still think Rudi is an American hero? No, he’s a piece of dreck. W? Jesus. Piece of shit that jawboned tax cuts that screwed over taxpayers. Anybody sticking with this ahole is some bizarre shit that still belirves he’s Cheney..
Randy Newman had words for this. Jesus, what a jerk.
brian stouder said on June 30th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Caliban, I agree with some of what you say. Kerry was a hero and brave leader, and a man who did his duty. He was a leader of men who could be counted on when the chips were down and things were tight, and the outcome was in doubt. And when he came home from the war, he proved to be a man of conscience and a truth-teller, as he understood the truth. He told an unpopular truth in a trying time in our history, and that is a genuine reflection of his moral courage.
I’ll abstain from the remarks about W, other than to agree that he certainly did get out of going to the war — but flying that hurtling piece of machinery through Texas skies was certainly not without risk; a risk of a fiery death no less terrible than he could have suffered in the war.
But you simply go too far when you impugn the bravery of George Herbert Walker Bush, or John McCain. Wes Clark made such an incredibly stupid remark about McCain Sunday that I’m tempted to think he actually WANTED to damage the Obama campaign.
How does getting shot down make anybody a hero? It doesn’t.
Agreed.
But, Caliban, spending the next 5 years in captivity, and with his comrades, and drawing strength from them, and lending strength to them, and refusing parole — owing to who his father was — and remaining in the Hanoi Hilton to the end, come what may.….…Jesus Christ, caliban — if that isn’t the definition of selfless heroism, than I know not what that word could possibly mean.
John McCain can be criticized — and criticized roundly and full throatedly — for any number of things.….but not for any lack of moral courage, or false claims of heroism.
moe99 said on June 30th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Who’s criticizing McCain for lack of moral courage? the only thing that Clark said, after he said that McCain was a hero to him and millions is that getting shot down and being a POW is not the kind of executive military experience that one can draw on to be president.
I would note that being tortured has not stopped McCain from endorsing torture. He also did not support the benefits for veterans offered by Webb, but is now lying his ass off and saying that he did. Lying is not a good trait in my mind for our highest office, although many have lied to get there and once in office.…
But, ymmv.
Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 30th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
McCain argued against torture, including waterboarding when many in his party disputed whether it should be considered torture.
Whatever else McCain’s got against him in the ledger, being for torture ain’t on the list.
Hey, i wanna hear more ideas on fixing health-care — what uniquely American spin on single payer can we come up with that will help it fly? The funding mechanism is going to be the hardest part, since private medicine will never “vanish” in this country, but whatever mechanism we come up with has to incorporate how we do it now.
The good news is (pounding his worn drum) it won’t be as big a jump as people think, because its less than 40% of Americans who are on entirely private, employer based plans. Medicaid, Medicare, VA, and free care through public/nfp ERs covers with CHIP support covers more than 60, imperfectly.
So, do we just expand Medicare, and tax private medical care at a higher rate, while still collecting payroll FICA the same way — or do we get radical, and VAT the whole thing?
[ps — Cynthia has some good ideas at the end of the previous “Si, se puede” thread …]
MichaelG said on June 30th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
What Moe says. The Dems need to get out there on the offensive and start attacking or Obama will go the way of Kerry. By the way, Kerry may have been a fine river boat leader but he was a shitty, mealy mouthed candidate who ran a lousy campaign. He wouldn’t take a position on whether the sun rose in the east or the west. He didn’t run to win, he ran not to lose. The Dems had better not make that mistake again. Do not underestimate McCain. I didn’t vote for Kerry, I voted against Bush. The Republican slime machine will say what it’s going to say regardless of what Obama says or does, so he may as well speak his mind. As Olbermann says, he’s paid the price so he may as well get the game. Or something like that.
Jack Shafer has been chasing the media on drug hysteria for several years now. He’s doing an excellent job.
“Oliver Winery black cherry honey-wine”. Gag. I can only assume that’s a joke, although I will admit to certain desperate purchases (not to be specified) in my youth. OK, here’s a couple. Ever hear of Gallo Spanada? Richard’s Wild Irish Rose? It’s amazing that I’m as old as I am. And that’s old. And Maker’s Mark is so awfully expensive. Trader Joe has a pretty decent bourbon in Evan Williams. I quit Jack Daniels when they diluted the product from 86 to 80 proof. That’s simply watering down the booze. Do the math over X number of cases.
Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 30th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Is Evan Williams good? Say more about “pretty decent.” How does it stand up at room temp w/o ice?
(Now THAT’S health care — mental health care, that is.)
Joe K said on July 1st, 2008 at 12:35 am
Night Train, Nuff said’
Joe
Gasman said on July 1st, 2008 at 1:15 am
MichaelG, I too remember — and not fondly — Richard’s Wild Irish Rose wine. It fueled at least one teen pukeathon of mine. Truly awful high octane “wine”, and I use that term loosely. As I remember it was sickeningly sweet despite being about 18% alcohol. I think antifreeze may have been better. My tastes have definitely improved.
moe99 said on July 1st, 2008 at 2:22 am
Jeff, you are so wrong about McCain and torture. He initially came out against it, but has endorsed it at least in the past 6 months.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/03/09/MNBHVGLVO.DTL
Terry WAlter said on July 1st, 2008 at 5:23 am
OK, Nancy correct me if I’m wrong. I would guess that you support at some level, the draconian anti-smoking laws and high taxes on tobacco. But when they come for your alcohol.…..
Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on July 1st, 2008 at 7:17 am
Moe, i read the link — thanks! — which says, in the SFGate, at the outset that McCain is “the most outspoken of any presidential candidate in his opposition to torture.” Who doesn’t want to make interrogation a process managed step-by-step by legislation, open to litigation, so he supported a veto of a bill that would do that.
Doesn’t make him pro-torture, does make your argument tortured. Tell me you’re voting against him for his energy policy, health care proposals, or even his Iraq intentions, and we can talk, but saying McCain is pro-torture is like saying your middle name is Hussein — it makes you feel better, but it still isn’t true, and doesn’t help us figure out what to do next.
John Hussein McCain … it does have a ring to it, doesn’t it?
coozledad said on July 1st, 2008 at 7:48 am
Clark knows what he’s talking about. He’s a success story. I hear precious little handwringing and hairpulling over the treatment he’s getting from our right wing press.
McCain, however stars in a Navy film shown to carrier crews demonstrating why you shouldn’t behave like a self-absorbed fratboy when you stand a good chance of torching your crewmates.
Clark made the grade and kept making it. McCain had to be transferred repeatedly because of his tendency to fail, and fail spectacularly.
Then there’s the small matter of Charlie Keating. I suppose “Golfin” Bob Schieffer would refer to that halcyon period as McCain’s Sentimental Education, and how engaging in graft gives McCain a more nuanced take on the current economic shitstorm– either that, or his habit meticulously balancing his campaign’s books with his current trollop’s fortune and a strong commitment to public financing (at least as strong as his commitment to his ex trollop).
We’ve had enough fail upward enabled by shit-flinging television journos. I think it’s time some of them were jailed.
John said on July 1st, 2008 at 7:54 am
Mad Dog 20/20 or Thunderbird (“What’s the word?”).
Jesus, I don’t know how I remember my college days.
Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on July 1st, 2008 at 8:12 am
Like Obama, love him, or feel cheerful indifference to the phenomenon — you’ll all love this: http://sendbarackyourbaby.com/
brian stouder said on July 1st, 2008 at 8:39 am
We’ve had enough fail upward enabled by shit-flinging television journos. I think it’s time some of them were jailed.
So, gimme a little help, cz. When you call for jail for “some of them” above, are the “them” television journalists? If you meant crooked senators involved in financial chicanery (‘John Chicane’? hmmmm…the epithet needs a little more spin, but it could work) then I agree with you.
Speaking of chicanery, here’s a story I thought I understood — but which I did not. If you have cable tv (and not satellite), you should read it
http://redtape.msnbc.com/2008/07/the-other-digit.html#posts
an excerpt -
D-day for the analog broadcast signal – a date some observers have labeled “Y2K for TV” – is coming on Feb. 17, 2009. That cutoff will be abrupt. But the death of cable analog television is arriving a bit more stealthily, and more piecemeal. While one has almost nothing to do with the other, their coincidental timing and similar nomenclature are sure to make an already confusing situation worse. The prospect of millions of TVs suddenly losing their ability to display cable TV channels at about the same time that antenna-connected TVs stop working entirely is a recipe for chaos. Joel Kelsey, an analyst at Consumers Union, sees it as something even more nefarious than that. He said some cable industry advertisements around the issue have been “extremely misleading.” “There’s a whole lot of confusion in the marketplace and this is adding to it,” he said.
and
The Federal Communications Commission has set a very low bar for protecting analog customers. Cable providers need only continue to transmit analog versions of broadcast channels (generally, the familiar channels 2 – 13) for the next three years. When cable firms advertise that its customers won’t have to do anything to keep their televisions working after February 2009, they are promising only to keep those few, local broadcast channels available to all.
Speaking of television people who SHOULD BE JAILED…!
MichaelG said on July 1st, 2008 at 8:48 am
MMJeff, Evan Williams is about on a par with Jack Daniels. It isn’t as good as Maker’s Mark. It’s a bit sweeter. I like it over ice. I don’t know how it would fare warm. Alright, I’d guess, but again, it’s not Maker’s Mark. And for the price differential, MM had better be by far the superior sip.
coozledad said on July 1st, 2008 at 9:42 am
Brian: This latest OMG Obama has friends who express an opinion! Flap has my head up my own ass deeper than usual.
Maybe jail is too harsh for David Gregory doing his shitsack larval whiteboy dance with Emcee Rove, but a quiet retreat in a Baghdad suburb might just awaken him to the fact he’s a rotten corpse. And maybe Bob Schieffer should give up golf, at least with his close personal friends Bush and Cheney, for the sake of appearances.
Someone else has mentioned the lack of outrage among our vigilant DC press corps while Bush and Rove insinuated that McCain fathered black babies and and was guilty of spilling military information to the NVA in exchange for cookies and oranges. There was no outrage because all their damned coverage is a drooling infomercial. Bush was paving the way for an absolutist fundy state, courtesy the DOJ, and these people were teabagging him the whole time. They are deeply disappointed in the failure of the totalitarian enterprise, and they’re virtually breaking out in stigmata over it .
They were thoroughly vested in the end of the republic.
moe99 said on July 1st, 2008 at 11:10 am
Jeff: Voting no on a torture ban bill, makes one a supporter of torture in my book. It may be simplistic, but so is torture – you are either for it or agin it and McCain, as a consequence, despite all the obfuscation thrown up by his freinds in the media, is voting to allow torture. If the press made it that clear and that simple, then maybe people would suffer as a consequence of their actions. It would be nice for a change.
btw, coozledad, I am in awe of your rhetorical abilities.