Back to the mangle.

I hope your holiday was pleasant. Mine was, although at some point I shifted into hibernation mode — all I want to do is sleep, a condition that will likely last until we change the clocks again. Sleep and eat. You ask me, the bears have the right idea.

Maybe cutting back on carbs will help. She said as she finished the last slice of birthday cake.

If any of you doubt that I basically pull every entry on this blog from my nether regions on a daily basis, I offer as evidence the preceding two paragraphs.

I’m a little rusty this morning. Lots went on over the weekend, lots coming up. We had a production meeting/casting session for the upcoming 48-hour film challenge, and I took a moment to look around the table at all the smart faces there and reflect on what these Michigan tax incentives for filmmakers have wrought. The difference between what we brought to the party in June 2008 and what we have just over a year later is pretty remarkable. Not that the 2008 team was bush league, but most of the people we have now, from actors to crew, have serious professional filmmaking experience, and it shows. A year ago, casting the zombie movie, some of the people auditioning had trouble reading. Saturday, we had a 13-year-old girl who most recently worked with Rob Reiner. In fact, as I looked around the table and asked myself who’s the weak link in the chain? It’s me. Time to bring it, I guess.

We also had house guests, John and Sam, for Saturday night, when we finally celebrated my birthday. Lovely cake and presents. Pork tenderloin with an Indian spice rub on the grill, yum yum. We discovered that even though both John and Sam are plugged in net people, being childless they’ve missed many YouTube classics — Charlie Bit Me, the Panda Sneeze, and of course, the Dramatic Prairie Dog. John learns fast, however, and quickly threw together this video homage with his iPhone and one of my birthday presents, which we’re calling…

…Dramatic Horse Pen.

That’s a pen from some cowboy museum on John and Sammy’s recent trip out west. Punchline: It doesn’t work. Glad it’s good for something.

And now my attention is drawn by the events of the day — the president’s speech on Afghanistan tomorrow, the next phase in heath insurance reform, and, of course, Tiger Woods’ marriage, about which I could not care less. I am interested in human behavior, however, so before we go on, let’s stipulate something that is, to me, as plain as that Escalade wrapped around the tree, yonder:

Woods is lying. He’s lying about the accident, he’s lying about whatever preceded it, and he’s lying about the role his wife played in it. He probably started the whole chain of events by lying to her, too, the classic, “Who, me? I wasn’t with her! The National Enquirer is lying!” That’s OK — everyone lies sometimes, and none of us would want to live with a 100 percent truth-teller. Sometimes the greatest honesty comes out of gentle deception, etc. I’m thinking today of his wife, who I’m going to speculate was wielding that golf club not to rescue her husband, but to threaten him and perhaps knock his block off. Eric Zorn and I have been exchanging e-mail on the subject, and he contends her target was the car all along — nothing like a smashed window to punctuate your peril when you’re trying to escape the fury of a Swedish giantess. I think maybe she was aiming for the man himself, which would be pretty damn stupid on her part — any physical injury to the ATM machine she shares her life with would imperil its future smooth operation. But then, I doubt Woods married his wife for her brains. Maybe that’s what he found in the New York “social director” he was allegedly dallying with, an intellectual equal to his Stanford-educated brain.

Let’s take a look at this TMZ item, though, one that says Tiger was shopping Zales (Zales? Yeah, that sent up a flag for me, too) for a “Kobe Special,” i.e., a big flashy rock to appease her feminine furies. I’m reminded of the female comedian who, after the original Kobe special was delivered, remarked, “Just what every woman wants — a big shiny reminder of her husband’s infidelity.”

Let me just go on the record here, and say I hope my child will grow to adulthood knowing that her mother never went after her father with a golf club. Good lord, Elin, one misjudged swing and you’re talking closed-head injury and the rest of your life being the next Dana Reeve. Suck it up.

Ten a.m. looms, dragging behind it a busy day. We’re back to the mangle, folks, and starting the long slog to Christmas.

Posted at 10:55 am in Current events, Same ol' same ol' |
 

88 responses to “Back to the mangle.”

  1. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on November 30, 2009 at 11:06 am

    Well, she apparently, if this is indeed the case, hit him in the mouth, not the hands. She’s not so dumb. He can putt with bruised lips.

    Oh dear Lord, i just commented on the Tiger Woods story. Sigh. (mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa . . .)

  2. John said on November 30, 2009 at 11:14 am

    you’re talk­ing closed-head injury and the rest of your life being the next Dana Reeve

    Damn Girl! That’s just cold!

  3. coozledad said on November 30, 2009 at 11:23 am

    Yeah, it’s cold. But damn if I wouldn’t rather have someone shoot my ass than get nine-ironed to death. In Woods’ case that would have been irony even Wolf Blitzer could wrap his fuzzy little skull around.

  4. jcburns said on November 30, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Back to the mangle? Does that mean you’re wringing water from wet laundry using this device?
    So, the appropriate Blitzer irony would be if he was crushed under a falling tower of video monitors in The Situation Room. (Still my favorite Olbermann line: “We get it Wolf, you have a lot of TVs.”)
    By the way: dun dun dunnnnnnn!

  5. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 11:36 am

    My bet: She went after the car windows with the golf club, and his injuries were, in fact, scratches and such. Seems a little cold to assume that she thinks of him of her ATM machine. She married him after a year-long engagement; she had two kids. It’d be pretty tough to ignore the kind of wealth he has, but I haven’t read anything that suggests she was buying herself fabulous jewels or Bentleys every other month. Not that I’d be the first to know.

  6. Peter said on November 30, 2009 at 11:52 am

    I think this could have been a great updated Fawlty Towers episode – “Sybil – not the five iron!”

  7. LAMary said on November 30, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    I thought a mangle was a roller type of iron for ironing sheets and tablecloths and other big flat items. We had one when I was a child back in the dark ages. I was a cloth covered motorized roller about eight inches in diameter and maybe 24 inches across. I was very familiar with it since ironing was my chore. There was some satisfaction in getting a tablecloth to have nice crisp fold lines like the ones you see in renaissance paintings.

    http://www.topofart.com/artists/Tiziano_Vecellio_Titian/art_reproduction/9436/The_Supper_at_Emmaus.php

  8. Deggjr said on November 30, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    “Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.” (h/t Peggy Noonan and the Wall Street Journal). But my real question is this: how do you get to tell the police to just go away? Dick Cheney did the same thing after he shot his friend in the face. I’m just asking for a friend of mine.

  9. MarkH said on November 30, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    My memory is it did both, Mary. The ones my grandparents had sat on top of the washing machine. When you pulled the sheets out you put thme through the mangle to wring the water out and flatten them as well, as you pulled them through. Then they were properly prepared for the clothesline. My mother did this for a while as well. That was over 50 years ago, of course, so the aging mind might not have thall correct.

  10. Dorothy said on November 30, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Speaking of human behavior, 15 of us sat in front of the television on Thursday after eating turkey and laughed our asses off at the DVD showing of old family slides. (After my dad died one of my brothers went thru the slides and came up with this idea – preserved them on DVD) One of the international students I’m “hosting” this year got to participate, and I apologized to her later for making her sit through dozens of pictures of people she didn’t know. Her response: Oh, I LOVED it!! I loved getting this view of American culture. I’ll try to remember it for my anthropology class.

    Hmph. I’m not entirely sure what she meant by that.

  11. moe99 said on November 30, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    The TMZ article said that the other woman was someone named Rachel Uchitel. This Rachel Uchitel? If so, kind of sad….

    http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/12/fashion/weddings/12VOWS.html

  12. 4dbirds said on November 30, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Being curious five year old, my sister’s arm went up the mangle. She still has no feeling in parts of that arm. How does one ignore the police? Ask the man who was involved in my daughter’s underage possession and consumption of alcohol that contributed to her accident. He refuses to answer any questions and that’s it. Nothing they can do.

  13. LAMary said on November 30, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    That thing on top of the washing machine was a wringer. The mangle heated up like an iron. We had a forties vintage washer with a wringer that was motorized and made a whining sound I can clearly remember. The mangle was on the counter in the laundry room. You used it after the sheets were dried on the line and sprinkled and rolled up until you were ready to iron them. Sprinkling was an important step since it wasn’t like a steam iron for making crisp creases. I also used to mix the starch for the collars and cuffs of my father and brothers shirts. I’m thinking it was called Niagra, but I may be hallucinating that.

  14. MichaelG said on November 30, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    I remember a mangle the way Mary describes it – as a sort of macro ironing device for table cloths and sheets, etc. The other thing is a ringer – a pair of unheated, rubber coated rollers to squeeze water out of the freshly washed clothes. My mother had an old Speed Queen washer with a ringer on it. There was a panic quick release thingy to free any trapped body parts. In time, one hopes.

    My take is that the vituous Elin teed off (nyuk, nyuk) on him and he was running for his ride and jumped in and she was chasing him down the drive beating on his Escalade with the iron. Hence the busted face and busted window. A Kobe Special from Zale’s. She needs to smack him again.

  15. MichaelG said on November 30, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Wow! Mary beat me to it!

  16. a different Connie said on November 30, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    Please, not to be pedantic, but ATM only, not ATM machine. Nancy knows better!

  17. LAMary said on November 30, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002UZGVR4/ref=asc_df_B002UZGVR4973930?smid=A1281S4A9P7H8C&tag=yahoommp-kitchen-mp01-20&linkCode=asn&creative=380341&creativeASIN=B002UZGVR4

    This is a modern mangle. It’s available through Amazon so order it through this website and make our hostess’s day.

  18. brian stouder said on November 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    …ATM only, not ATM machine

    well done! A Different Connie will score a strike-through for that, I bet – which is double points on Monday.

    Still, Dorothy gave me the best laugh of the thread so far

  19. ROgirl said on November 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Going after him with a golf club was brilliant. If Kobe’s wife had bounced a basketball off his head it wouldn’t have been quite the same.

    BTW, I was curious as to whether Tiger actually graduated from Stanford, and the answer is no, he quit after 2 years.

  20. Julie Robinson said on November 30, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    I remember both wringers and mangles, as well as some kind of steam table my Mom had where you placed the item on the padded area and then brought down the lid. Huge clouds of steam would hiss out, and if you weren’t careful you would get a wicked burn.

    Mom ironed everything, even undies and bras. With no air conditioning either. Who wants to go back to the good old days?

    Maybe Elin had been watching the Glee episode where the kids performed “Bust the Windows”? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ6EV6I-ZMI
    Musical theatre has relevance for every area of life!

  21. paddyo' said on November 30, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    Typical golf/duffer/hacker question here, but does anybody know (since I haven’t looked at the stories) just WHICH golf club Mrs. Woods was supposed to have been, um, using? I wonder if it will make a difference if charges are filed? Maybe a 9-iron gets simple battery, but a 3-iron or a wood rates attempted murder?

    And who was caddying for her?

  22. 4dbirds said on November 30, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    Then my sister’s arm went up the wringer.

  23. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    jc’s Wikipedia link actually has the 411 on the applications of the wringer/mangle. According to that article, “As wringing mangles disappeared, mangles for pressing gained in popularity.” Check it out. Just a couple of paragraphs.

  24. Peter said on November 30, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    Guys, that contraption on top of the old Speed Queen has to be a wringer, how else did we get the expression “getting my tit caught in the wringer”.

    paddyo’, your comment reminds me of a joke I recently read: the police are called to a domestic disturbance; once inside the house, they see a dead man on the floor and the wife holding a bloody golf club. The officers asked how many times did she hit him with the club, and she replied “I don’t know, four five, six times – for Christ sakes, put me down for five!”

    (and since I don’t know how to cut and paste, and I’m not big into plagarizing, that’s from the 7/29/09 Art for Arts Sake, http://www.expressmilwaukee.com)

  25. Jeff Borden said on November 30, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    This is the first big mistake Tiger Woods has made in his career. The guy has micromanaged his image to a fair-thee-well previously, but his refusal to talk with law enforcement officials and his ludicrous explanation are serving only to keep this incident on high boil.

    Police said from the outset that alcohol was not involved, so I’m also in the camp that Miss Elin tore into Tiger and he was hauling ass away from home with such alacrity that he drove his Escalade recklessly. The air bags did not deploy, which means it was not that bad of a crash. It also puts the lie to the idea that Elin caved in the window with a golf club to free her man. I don’t doubt she used the club, but believe it was directed at Tiger, not the innocent car window.

  26. Julie Robinson said on November 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    For Connie: http://www.arcamax.com/mothergooseandgrimm

  27. Dorothy said on November 30, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    Julie – you brought up musical theatre. By any chance have you seen “In the Heights”? We saw it on Saturday in Columbus. It was fabulous!! I have the soundtrack now (Mike paid $30 for it in the lobby and I told him he probably could have got it for half that at Amazon.com. He checked – I was right).

    Exciting news at our house this last week – we have a cat! Lucy (pretty sure it’s a girl) wandered onto our property last week and wouldn’t leave. So of course I had to feed her. Then I had to invite her on the back porch. Then I bought cat food so she didn’t have to eat the dog’s food. Then I had to get kitty litter and move her inside because it rained and got cold. And now the dogs are used to her, so I’m a first-time cat owner. She goes to the vet on Friday. Want to see what she looks like??

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/truvy57/sets/72157622749566507/

  28. MarkH said on November 30, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    Yes, Mary led the way on the mangle question. I remember now (after calling my sister) that the mangle sat next to the washer with the wringer on top. Trying toremember if the mangle sat on top of a tub, though. I also remember being warned to stay away from it while it was being operated.

    Tiger will not talk unless absolutely fored to, read, warrant. He is famously secretive in his business dealings and has iron-clad confidentiality clauses in all his contracts. You blab about your business with Tiger and you’re out. Then he goes to the next one of fifty in line for his favor. The proof in our area is a local real estate agent who was let go after he blogged/bragged about his part in a sale to Woods in a local exclusive golf club. He doesn’t want anyone to know where he owns property, and he owns a number of homes/sites at exclusive golf clubs world-wide. It was only after massive groveling/pleading/very public firing of the loudmouth that Tiger agreed to keep the deal together and work with the RE company.

    EDIT — I realize I am only a mere mortal, but it seems to me that Elin Nordegren would cure ANYONE of a wandereing eye. I can’t link to it here at work, but go to the National Enquirer site for a look at the tart he’s risking so much for. ugh.

  29. crinoidgirl said on November 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    Dorothy, Lucy is one seriously cute kitty.

  30. beb said on November 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    Comparisons of Toger Woods’ single vehicle accident to Dick Cheney’s shooting a guy in the face are apt. From the first news report something sounded fishy because there was no explaination given for how the accident happened. Accidents don’t happen without causes so when the news report didn’t mention whether alcohol was or wasn’t involved, or why he was in his car in the middle of the night, it just seemd fishy. Finally the message on his web page had an Elliot Spitzleresque quality to it.*

    And pardon my ignorance but isn’t Zales pretty low rent when it comes to apology bling?

    *FFor all his $5000 hookers Spitzler seemed four-square for the common man over Wall St. hustlers. I’d love to see him replace Beneke on the Fed.

  31. Julie Robinson said on November 30, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Dorothy, seeing In the Heights is my birthday AND Christmas present this year. It’s going to be in Chicago for a short run, and 4 tickets–whew, very expensive. I’ve been listening to the music for a year now; what vitality it brings to the genre! Of course, now I also want to go see Billy Elliot since I’m not sure that one will ever tour.

    We had a Lucy cat when I was growing up, one of many who were dumped on our country road. May she bring you bliss and good karma.

  32. Dorothy said on November 30, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    I looked at the schedule for In the Heights, Julie and I thought I counted 15 dates in Chicago. That’s not a short run! The show has only spent 6 days in most other cities, Columbus included. Next up for us – August: Osage County in April. It’ll be in Pittsburgh and Cleveland, so of course I’m opting for Pittsburgh. Tickets go on sale Feb. 19th. I’ve got a reminder ready to pop up on my calendar that day.

    Lucy IS a pretty cat, isn’t she crinoidgirl!? She’s extremely friendly, not stand-offish at all. Sort of dog-like, which makes me attracted to her of course.

  33. LAMary said on November 30, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Lucy looks like a very fine specimen. I bet it didn’t take long for Augie to treat her politely. My golden mix likes my cats, as does the dane. The lab wants to play with the cats and he’s a little too rowdy for their tastes. They hiss and ignore him.

  34. Jeff Borden said on November 30, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    MarkH,

    Saint Oprah of Chicago has a similar ironclad deal with those who work for and around her and it must be one helluva piece of work. She has been in the public eye for more than a quarter-century, but has never been the subject of a tell-all despite her enormous wealth and power. The tabloids sniff around continually, of course, particularly on the sexual orientation of Stedman and whether or not he is Oprah’s beard, but there’s never been a Kitty Kelley style airing of the royal laundry.

    Regarding the beauty of Elin, Mark, I recall when the adoration Prince Charles felt for Camilla Parker-Bowles became public. How, people asked, could the prince prefer a horse-faced older woman who Princess Diana nicknamed “the rottweiler” to his young and nubile blonde wife? I won’t hazard an answer, but only wanted to note that the beauty of a man’s spouse is no guarantee he will keep his horniness in check.

    The National Enquirer is not to my taste, but it has rarely been successfully sued. In fact, I think Carol Burnett may be the only celeb ever to get real money out of them. They may deal in slime, but they pay good money for their information. I would not bet against the idea that Tiger is involved with the woman they name.

  35. MarkH said on November 30, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    beb #30 — Your last paragraph; that’s a joke, right?

  36. Julie Robinson said on November 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    Carol Burnett is my hero for so many reasons, and that’s one of them. Dorothy, I think Wicked ran in Chicago for close to three years; that was my comparison. And now, in what’s becoming my favorite time of the week, off to play with the kindergarteners.

  37. moe99 said on November 30, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Hey! I did post an article above at #11 w/ lotsa pix about Tiger’s extra marital squeeze from her wedding announcement in 2004 in the NYT.

  38. Dorothy said on November 30, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Ahh okay I get it, Julie. You’re right – 15 shows in 3 weeks compared to three years – that’ll do it!

    moe – how’re you feeling these days? How was your Thanksgiving?

  39. jcburns said on November 30, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    Bernacke comes from pretty blue collar roots—although South Carolina-based ones. I thought he had a real loyalty to the common man…but hey, who can tell these days. Eliot Spitzer seemed like a guy in expensive NY suits.

  40. Joe K said on November 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    The Chicago Bears announced today that they were flying Tigers wife up to Lake Forrest for a try out. When questioned about it a team spokesman’s replied,
    “at least she’ll hits somebody”
    Pilot Joe

  41. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on November 30, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Julie — i re-trolled over the weekend, and can’t find it; did you ever give us a debrief on your Sunday in the pulpit? How’d it go, and what did you think about your sermonic outing?

    And sorry if this was well-plowed ground earlier and i just missed it. Professional and virtually-personal curiosity bids me ask.

  42. Christy S. said on November 30, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    MarkH, as my husband says (not referring to me) (I hope), show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a guy who’s tired of f***ing her. And I would add: show me a celebrity/athlete who can’t control his ego (and zipper), and I’ll show you a wife who’d better have a great pre-nup.

    Isn’t Elin’s use of a golf club simple poetic justice? Love it.

    Tiger was on the ground when authorities arrived. There’s no way Elin smashed the back window of their Escalade and pulled him all the way out of that huge SUV. If that had been her intent, she would have smashed a closer door window. Her smashing the window is what caused him to have the accident. But it’s a good story.

    I’m more curious about his reported semi-conscious state when authorities arrived. Was he driving that “out of it”? If so, why? What the hell kind of pain meds was he taking and how bad was this “pain” to require such strong meds?

  43. nancy said on November 30, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    As usual, you guys have taken the ball and run with it. ATM mistake corrected. Jolene suggests in her gentle way I am perhaps being too hard on Elin, and perhaps I am. I know that at Tiger’s level of wealth and accomplishment, there exists a very small pool of cultivated, beautiful and intelligent bridal prospects, and Elin may well be one. I base my snark solely on my belief that a real lady never attacks her husband, or anyone else, physically. And if she absolutely must, she makes the classic open-handed Scarlett O’Hara slap to the cheek work for her. Scratching and club-wielding just sounds so…”COPS.” In another neighborhood, she’d have gone away in handcuffs and we’d all be examining her mugshot.

    And yes, you all sussed out the mangle. I used to work across the street form a dry cleaner, a place that always left its windows open, year-round, and probably didn’t even bother to air-condition. The workers took frequent breaks and looked whipped by the work of steaming and pressing. “Back to the mangle” strikes me as what they all said as they crushed out their cigarettes and took up their burdens once again.

  44. nancy said on November 30, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Oh, and my mom had a mangle. Worked full-time and still found the strength to do all my father’s shirts. We called it “the ironer,” and my brother took it when they left their house. Never used it, gave it to a friend, and so it slipped beneath the waves. But I see one from time to time at estate sales. Brand name Iron-Rite. It had controls you worked with your knees.

    This was it. Made in Detroit!

  45. MarkH said on November 30, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Christy and Jeff B., just sayin’! But, as I said, I am a mere mortal hetero male, not a celebrity (although I may try to play one here at NN.C).

    And, Jeff, all your points are valid, of course. There must be some serious heft behind Oprah’s damage control efforts to vaporize everything but the most common tabloid headlines. I mean, what does she do when she gets a whiff of a tell-all book deal? Buy-offs? Threats of legal action or worse? As with all such things Oprah, we’ll likely never know.

    RE: Camilla vs. Diana remember we are dealing with the Royal Family here, more specifically Charles. It’s clear it went beyond mere horniness to a deeply involved compulsion. But, again, what we’ll never know about it all could fill a freight car.

    The only other succesful legal actions against NE I could find (wiki) are Gary Condit’s wife and Kate Hudson. They have apparently been able to stave off scores of other legal actions.

  46. nancy said on November 30, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    Horniness? Compulsion? HE LOVES HER. Jeez, guys, stop living the stereotype.

  47. Jeff Borden said on November 30, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    I’ve always maintained the National Enquirer does journalism the old-fashioned way: with plenty o’ cash.

    When River Phoenix died outside the Viper Club in LA, they had all the toxicology information within a week and published it. Another reporter friend mocked them for “making it up,” but I argued that they slipped an envelope laden with cash to some low-level worker in the coroner’s office to make a copy of the report. When the results were made public many weeks later, the NE report was proven completely correct.

    Duly noted about Prince Charles. His fascination with Camille pre-dated his marriage to Diana, but clearly the House of Windsor was not going to let him run off with a married woman. I tend to think of the royals ungenerously, but in this case, the poor guy simply could not marry the woman he wanted. My bad for suggesting otherwise.

  48. LAMary said on November 30, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Tiger may still be on pain meds from the knee surgery he had a few months ago. I think he was going to Zales to get one of those necklaces designed by Jane Seymour that look like a Z with boobs and a bum.

    (edit) Scratch that theory. Those necklaces are from Kay Jewelers.

  49. brian stouder said on November 30, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    Scratch that the­ory.

    The boobs, or the bum?

  50. MichaelG said on November 30, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    I was just trying to reconcile “Tiger’s level of wealth and accom­plish­ment” and your “small pool of cul­ti­vated, beau­ti­ful and intel­li­gent bridal prospects” with Zale’s. Maybe Zale’s is what happens when you skip your last two years at Stanfurd.

  51. crinoidgirl said on November 30, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    Well, of course – He went to Jared!

  52. crinoidgirl said on November 30, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    I’m not sure a mangle is easier to use than an iron:

    http://www.archive.org/details/MakingaN1946

    Man, if Mary can figure out how to use this thing, she needs to have another profession…

  53. Dexter said on November 30, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    uh oh…looks like she got to Tiger’s Crown Vic now…
    http://i25.tinypic.com/dmba4n.jpg

  54. coozledad said on November 30, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    OT, but here’s a splendid example of dumbassery at work. A blogger I read frequently was discussing the star-crossed relationship of Group Captain Peter Townsend and Princess Margaret that created something of a scandal. I immediately jump to the conclusion they are referring to the guy who smashed his guitars onstage and on Abbie Hoffman, and I think, “Damn. I didn’t know that. I’ll bet that really did put the Windsors in a funk; especially when he threw the television out the window of their crib.” My earnest comment was that Margaret could have done worse, especially if she’d had a thing for Keith Moon.
    Now I need some help locating the iconic 80’s T-Shirt image of Ike and Tina, only with Eisenhower instead of Ike Turner.

  55. mark said on November 30, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    “I doubt Woods married his wife for her brains.”

    “I know that at Tiger’s level of wealth and accomplishments, there exists a very small pool of cultivated, beautiful and intelligent bridal prospects…”

    Since Wood’s had no prior reputation for womanizing or for making stupid, crotch-driven decisions, there must be some stereotype at work here. Typical golfer? The Thai blood coursing through his veins? Or is it the one that says beautiful women are typically dumb?

    The pool is small? Why? Are there very few intelligent women in the world? And why would it be a smaller pool for Tiger? Beautiful, cultivated, intelligent women don’t go for fabulously wealthy, hugely accomplished, young, single, attractive, well-educated men? What does the pool prefer?

    Seems like you are just equating pretty with stupid.

  56. LAMary said on November 30, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Crinoid girl, I only made it to 6.5 minutes on that instructional video. I’m at work. They show shirts and rufflely lacey things going through the mangle and I never tried that. I did sheets, tablecloths, linen dresser doilies, linen napkins, pillowcases. It might have made some sense to try to do shirts on it because my father and brothers were all 6’4″ and up, so the backs of those shirts looked like twin sheets.

  57. Julie Robinson said on November 30, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Thanks for asking JeffTMMO, the sermon went great. I was never worried about the delivery of the thing, just the writing. As mentioned earlier, it was 11 minutes long and our pastor usually goes 20-25, so of course everyone loved it. Incidentally, when I was searching for commentaries online I clicked a link for preaching resources and found you could buy a ready-made sermon for as low as $4.50. “Ready for the Rapture” didn’t quite fit my theology, though, so it went unbought.

    Changing the subject, on my way home I stopped in a fairly new store here in town that bills itself as an appliance/electronics warehouse. Our washer and dryer are on their last legs, as well as our second refrigerator, so I’m in the market to spend some bucks. I wandered around for 15-20 minutes and was completely unbothered by anyone. It wasn’t busy and they had many staff members, all of whom seemed to be heavily engaged–in talking to each other. I finally walked out without anyone saying a word to me, and I don’t plan on returning. I don’t give the place a long existance.

  58. James Moehrke said on November 30, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    New on Romenesko: Rod Dreher is leaving the Dallas Morning News to create and edit an online mag for the Templeton Foundation.

  59. Deborah said on November 30, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    That mangle video was cool, just to see what life was like back then for housewives. I remember my mom ironing on Tuesday, after doing the laundry on Monday and sprinkling on the oil cloth covered dining table on Monday night. She’d roll all the clothes up and put it all back in the laundry basket till the next day. She ironed sheets and kitchen towels but not bath towels. My dad’s work pants got hung out to dry on a wire contraption that pulled them tight so they got less wrinkled. She ironed them anyway. She had a recipe box with household chores written on index cards that she rotated through. We had hardwood parquet floors that she polished constantly. She didn’t work outside the home, that was her full time job. She also didn’t drive.

  60. nancy said on November 30, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    Good for Dreher. Anyone who can make a soft landing from newspapers is one of the lucky ones. Now he’s free to go back to having ignorant opinions about them.

    Mark: I am not equating pretty and stupid. But you may have noticed Mrs. Woods is a damn sight more than pretty. And it’s been my experience that bombshell Swedish supermodels who speak at least one additional language generally don’t marry just anyone. Maybe you have one tucked away in Fort Wayne, but I doubt it.

  61. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    Thanks for sticking up for Charles and Camilla, Nancy. I always felt that she got a bad rap. To me, her looks are pretty normal–neither beautiful, nor homely. Like most of us, she’s attractive to people who like her, one of whom seems to be Charles.

    And she wasn’t, in fact, married when she and Charles first met and got involved. But she’d had “boyfriends” and, according to something I read somewhere along the line, the royal family was afraid the boyfriends would talk.

    So, rather than risk having a future queen who’d had sex before marrying the future king, the royal family had years of misery and embarrassment all around and an untimely death for a beautiful young woman, who might otherwise have been happy teaching pre-school and marrying someone who liked her.

  62. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    Jeff (tmmo): A question re end-times theology – In his discussion of Sarah Palin’s comments on Jews flocking to Israel any day now, he refers to a theological position that calls for (1) Jews to return to Israel, (2) Jews to convert to Christianity, and (3) the death of said Jews. Then, Jesus returns to earth and takes everybody back to heaven with him. So, what I don’t get in this story line is why the Jews have to die. That is, if they’ve already converted, can’t they go back to heaven with Jesus too?

    Just askin’.

  63. alex said on November 30, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    I never had any trouble understanding Prince Charles’ attraction to Camilla. His marriage to Diana was forced upon him. What’s more, Diana was eighteen years old and a hothouse flower. Hugh Hefner might find such an arrangement sufferable, but even in his case the relationships never last more than a few months.

    Wringers and mangles? I’m in the cusp between Baby Boom and Gen X where planned obsolescence was manufactured into appliances. Spanish red, olive green and harvest gold, to be precise. I think those strange mechanisms being described here today had been worked into the innards of the machines by the time I was old enough to watch my soiled garments getting cleaned.

    Tits in a wringer, eh? So, presumably, with the invention of the spin cycle came the expression “tits in a knot”?

  64. Julie Robinson said on November 30, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    P.S. How do you make kindergarteners estatic? Bring in stickers.

  65. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Julie: I read somewhere that the Obama administration is contemplating creating a “cash for clunkers” fund for household appliances. Might want to check into that before you buy.

  66. LAMary said on November 30, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    Camilla was quite good looking when she was in her late teens-early twenties. That’s when Chuck first met her.

  67. alex said on November 30, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    I read somewhere that the Obama administration is contemplating creat­ing a “cash for clunkers” fund for household appliances.

    Praise be. I have a big, fat harvest gold Amana washer in the garage with an aqua-blue drum and a fluorescent Cyclops eye that serves as a dial in the middle of a filigreed aluminum panel. I want a counter-height front loader with matching dryer in a more subdued tone.

  68. brian stouder said on November 30, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    Deborah – your mom definitely sounds “old school”. My mom, who turned 80 yesterday, has also never had a driver’s license – which is almost unthinkable, here in fly-over Fort Wayne, Indiana.

    She had a family of 5 boys, and there was never a time that laundry wasn’t in all stages of completion.

    Julie – amazing, isn’t it? All a sales person has to do is say “hello”, make a person feel welcome, and let them wander a bit. I’ve always thought (possibly incorrectly) that in a worst-case scenario I could get a job, since interacting with folks seems to be a common thread in most of them.

    ‘Course, that place you went may have several dedicated folks, who weren’t at work tonight – and who are being victimized by the chuckleheads who WERE “at work” – if only technically.

    PS – re Camilla/Dianna (etc) – I always thought Camilla looked quite attractive, also; she looked comfortable in her own skin. One thing I’ve learned over the years – if nothing else – is that it’s a great blessing if your spouse is also your best friend. If physical attraction was the controlling variable for everyone, then all of us would, sooner or later, end up either driving our car into fireplugs at 2:20 in the morning, or swinging golf clubs at our wandering Significant Other’s vehicle, as they drive into fireplugs.

  69. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    Here’s the lowdown on the appliances program. Short version: Details are being worked out. Will vary from state to state. More news soon.

  70. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on November 30, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    Jolene — the Tribulation is not fun, nor is it supposed to be . . . for Premillennialists, that’s the seven years between the Rapture and the Second Coming. Giant scorpions and flaming hail are the least of your worries if you miss being “caught up in the air” and are around for the rugged run-up to the Battle of Armageddon.

    So flocking back to Israel and converting, if done after the Rapture, doesn’t get anyone, Jewish or otherwise, an exemption from Bad Stuff. Bad Stuff is pretty much the point of the Tribulation, although surviving it all and making it to Armageddon is a certain sort of grace. But if you die, having claimed faith in Christ, after the Rapture, you come back with everyone else into the Valley of Jehoshaphat and the Second Coming. That’s where the whole Big Sort, sheep and goats, takes place, where the earth rips open north and west of the Mount of Olives. Everyone living, and everyone who ever lived, all are resuscitated, walk through the Valley of Decision, and go Left, or go Right.

    Those who go Left (that’s you, Air America hosts!) head into Eternal Punishment, and those who go Right go . . . well, read book 16 of the Left Behind series. It’s good, but there’s still rebellion and intrigue. Turns out there’s still room for a little apostasy in the Thousand Year Reign. Not in the full apotheosis of the Kingdom, which is the Final Final Judgment after the 1,000 year reign of Christ.

    Somehow, this interpretation is all real inerrancy, true literalism, the only way to honor the Bible. It strikes me as grim Procrustean narrative trimming, done to fit an iron bedstead on which anyone would sleep uneasily. Have i made it clear i think this is mythologizing of the most ornamented, uncreative, prescriptive, dogmatic sort?

    But the bulk of the Jews who die horribly die horribly because most people who aren’t Raptured die horribly. If they claim Christ as Messiah during the seven years of Tribulation, they only die horribly once, but for all those of any ethnic derivation who don’t, they die horribly for all eternity. Equal opportunity perdition.

  71. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on November 30, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    Is Camilla really that bad looking? I’m not even going for the obvious “given who she stands next to” crack. Seems an attractive enough woman, when younger, or more currently.

  72. Julie Robinson said on November 30, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    Jolene, we’ve been waiting since this summer for that appliance clunker program–maybe Congress is too busy with the health plan? I just hope my washer and dryer can hold out, they’re both ancient and oft-repaired already. For a few months I’ve had to spin loads twice to get water out and over the weekend the dryer developed a new noise. I’m a spoiled American, and the laundromat is not where I want to be.

  73. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    I’m glad I’m not required to believe all that stuff, Jeff. I can’t even keep it straight. I do wonder, though, why some American Jewish leader doesn’t say, “Look, we appreciate your support, but, if it’s all the same to you (and even if it’s not), we intend to remain Jews. If the Messiah shows up, we’ll take our lead from him (or her).”

  74. Jolene said on November 30, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    I sympathize, Julie. Schlepping laundry is something I hope never to have to do again.

  75. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on November 30, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    Was it Chris Rock who said that he suspects that in the Second Coming, the Christ will appear as a big black woman, and she will be ticked off . . . and there will be a judgment. Big time!

    “The Shack” kind of plays with this idea in an inverted sort of way. Interesting work of fiction, but some sincere spiritual searching.

    Congrats, Julie. Glad it went well, & very glad you didn’t pick it up online. Wish more “professional” clergy could say the same.

  76. beb said on November 30, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    MarkH @35 asks if i was serious is suggesting that Elliot Spitlzer replace Ben Bernacke. Yes, I am. Bernacke may have been born poor but he’s a Goldman Sachs alumni and while heading the Fed has not done one thing that would disadvantage GS or any of the Wall St financiers. Elliot Spitzler is apparently a rich man. He certainly had rich vices, and perhaps because he was already rich he hasn’t felt beholden to the Wall St moguls. Spitzler built his career on proscecuting financial wrong-doing. That’s what we need running the Fed someone who isn’t afraid to call something fraud and sic the lawyers on them.

    In defense of Prince Charles, Carmilla a part of his social class while Diana never was.

  77. moe99 said on November 30, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    Dorothy, I had the very best of Thanksgivings. Thanks for asking:
    http://moesmisadventures.blogspot.com/2009/11/so-thanksgiving-turned-out-to-be-very.html

    Had to wait til my daughter sent me the photos to post, though.

  78. brian stouder said on November 30, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    moe, those are great photos, and a sublime narrative. Thanks for sharing; your smiles are contageous, as you’ve got me grinning ear-to-ear, 2000 miles east of you.

  79. MichaelG said on December 1, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Watching the football game this evening I kept thinking about Ashley and about how he loved his Saints. He must be a happy guy. 11 and 0.

    Wonderful pix, Moe. You must be a very happy and proud mom to have such wonderful kids. You’re a very wealthy woman.

  80. Denice B. said on December 1, 2009 at 1:38 am

    Perhaps Tiger could just stick a lump of coal in his rear end. He’d have a huge diamond in about a week…. He is one pent-up guy. And would this tabloid fuss over him be so crazy if he had married a black woman? I don’t know. But Swedish swimsuit models make excellent trophy wives for your rich athletic superstar!!!

  81. Dexter said on December 1, 2009 at 1:53 am

    The espn TV crew said it best; Drew Brees had to have a monster game last night to jump into the ruling circle of quarterbacks of the National Football League.
    Tom Brady, Brett Favre, and Peyton Manning, expand the circle. Brees was so good it made me actually vocalize a few cheers, something I rarely do when watching sports anymore. Oh my God, is Brees , the quarterback of the New Orleans Saints, ever good.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Moe, glad you had a good time last week.

  82. Connie said on December 1, 2009 at 8:07 am

    I own a mangle, those who sew love them. They are great for yardage, tablecloths, curtains, and yes, I can do a shirt on mine.

    Had a great three days in Indy, 7 adults and 4 dogs for a fine Thanksgiving at my daughter’s in Indy. Miss Molly, the miniature schnauzer who turns one today, was immediately the alpha dog among two goldens and a shepherd mix mutt.

    Got back in town just in time for a Saturday on the back roads of LaGrange County, and then to Holland on Sunday for a family get together at which I finally got to meet my four month old great nephew, aka grandpa’s first great. Grandpa being my dad.

  83. ROgirl said on December 1, 2009 at 8:40 am

    Jolene, the Israeli government has cultivated the relationship with Evangelists because it means stronger political support from Washington, not out of religious beliefs. I seriously doubt that the Evangelists have any illusions about the nature of those ties.

  84. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on December 1, 2009 at 8:52 am

    Moe, the pic that your son took coming through the door is a marvel. Proust could get three books out of that shot, forget the sugar cookies.

  85. Julie Robinson said on December 1, 2009 at 9:12 am

    Moe, how great that you are fighting cancer and can say you are blessed. It means you are.

    DH listens to sports radio as he’s driving around and told me that Tiger Woods has earned 100 million in tournaments but 900 million in endorsements. After I added those and realized it was a billion dollars, I agreed with him that his endorsement clients will demand an explanation and/or will start dropping him. DH says his value was being squeaky clean. But really, a billion dollars for a golfer?

  86. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on December 1, 2009 at 9:17 am

    Really, $125 for the privilege of walking around on short grass for three hours? And that’s just for starters. I’ve never understood golf, other than the obvious deal-making male-bonding excuse for drinking at the 9th and 18th hole rationale.

  87. MarkH said on December 1, 2009 at 11:24 am

    beb, with all due respect, Eliot Spitzer is in no way an appropriate choice for a position on the Fed. He made his reputation as a muck-raking attorney general in New York, sure, and many of his big business targets were appropriate, especially as federal agencies abdicated their responsibilities. But the Fed and its mission are not in the same realm as a position for an ambitious politician; ambitious to a fault, really. He became careless when choosing some of his wall street targets, some of whom may not have done wrong. Some in the industry as aell as regulators called his tactics thugish. His accomplishmnts, and, yes, ego and tactics got him into the governor’s office, but within a year his conduct managed to sink his poularity below 33%. This was a democratic governor in a strong democratic state. Then came the prostitution scandal, which was also involved a money-laundering operation, which he had to know about. Spitzer may indeed redeem himself, but he is in no way appropriate as a Bernancke replacement or peer. Read more about how he conducted himself as AG and governor here at wiki:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eliot_Spitzer

  88. Jolene said on December 1, 2009 at 11:31 am

    One of my sisters plays golf, and she says she likes it because it’s hard. It’s a small hole a long way away. To be at the top consistently over a long period is a significant achievement, I guess, even if it’s not one that interests me. And Woods has been known for being serious about his game–for being a competitor rather than a player. What’s amazing is that, if he made a billion, the people paying him made a lot more.