Cocktails in Brobdingnag.

I had to go to the Apple store this weekend. Mail continued to give me problems, and it finally reached the point where I realized this might be the irregular-shaped mole of my OS, and it was time for a biopsy. The Genius fixed it with some diagnostic this and that, then noticed a cracked top piece on the laptop. It’s no biggie, I’ve been living with it for months, it doesn’t affect anything but the appearance. But the Genius said he’d replace it under warranty. Like the diagnostic and repair, free o’ charge.

This laptop is now…four years old? Maybe three. At least three. I’ve never paid for anything that went wrong with it. Do their warranties ever expire? I asked Alan when I got home. He said I must be in the computer as a Mac slave/superplatinum customer, or just a blogger who always writes about how good their service is. Whatever. Literally: Works for me.

This was the outdoor “lifestyle center” mall, the one in Macomb County, the dog-friendly one. I frequently leave shaking my head over the tragedy surely waiting in the wings. Dogs are like children; it only takes a few misbehaving ones to ruin the experience for everybody. I know the way you teach dogs to behave in public is to take them out in public, but if you weigh 98 pounds and your dog about the same? You better be carrying a cattle prod, lady.

It’s startling to turn the corner in a store and see an afghan hound standing there looking at you, too. But as long as he’s a good boy, no biggie.

While I was there, I stopped in Sur la Table in search of martini glasses. I’m commencing my cocktail education with a new shaker I bought for us this Christmas, and my first project — pomegranate martinis — is coming along, but I lack the stemware for the right presentation. S-la-T has martini glasses, oh goody, and they’re only…$10? A piece. No. They’re also way too big; I want a martini to be relaxing at the end of a long day, not a sledgehammer. So I was interested in this Atlantic piece on the trend toward giant cocktails. Thank God I don’t make enough money to hang out in places like this; I’d be broke and on Skid Row by now.

Although…there was a place in Athens, Ohio that advertised “Texas cocktails” in the mid-’70s. Mr. Magoo’s. It also had a dance floor and played disco music, which was the craze elsewhere but totally uncool in hippieish Athens. The Arab and Iranian guys went there, hoping to pick up one of those famously easy American girls. They never looked comfortable with a fishbowl-size drink in their hands. I wonder if those cheap, rotgut G&Ts ever led to Islamic regret the next day. Is the Pope Catholic? Etc.

Anyway, after sketching out some truly ghastly sounding drink-and-drown tankards, Wayne Curtis notes:

Small cocktails were favored for a simple reason: they stay chilled from beginning to end.

Well, yeah. I mean, you can always have two.

These martini glasses could hold most of a can of Diet Coke. I’ll keep looking.

Some good bloggage today. Jim at Sweet Juniper has been silent of late, entirely understandable:

I think living in Detroit and watching “The Road” in the middle of January is not a good idea.

Yeah, me neither. Funny essay, though.

Also, a Michiganian with a master’s degree and a fancy resume finds work in Florida — at Publix.

Finally, I think I’m going to have to back the Saints in the Super Bowl. Sorry, Indiana, although not really, because with my support, they are destined to lose. You’re welcome.

And so Monday hits the ground running. Enjoy yours.

Posted at 1:29 am in Popculch |
 

69 responses to “Cocktails in Brobdingnag.”

  1. ROgirl said on January 25, 2010 at 6:52 am

    Cocktail super-sizing seems to go hand in hand with the mentality behind Big Gulps, triple-gigantic fast food burger with bacon and cheese, and the generally enormous quantities of food that are served at restaurants these days. It’s a way to make more money, and encourages people to get fat AND drunk.

    A few year ago I found some plain vanilla, perfectly proportioned martini glasses at Home Goods, around $10 for a set of four.

  2. beb said on January 25, 2010 at 7:53 am

    I never saw “The Road” though my wife has read the book and thought it was great. Questions do come to mind: While traveling The Road did he come across The Postman? Did he get his mail. Did he meet the buddha? Did he shoot him? And whatever happened to Torando Alley. At least those survivalists got to ride around in a cool super-tank. Considering the long number of post-apocalyptic novels and movies I guess thinking about the end of things is a popular occupation. And it has to be a lot more cheerful thinking about the end of life as we know it than being a political commentator.

  3. Julie Robinson said on January 25, 2010 at 9:04 am

    I can’t even read Cormac McCarthy, much less see the movies, without descending into a deep dark funk. For the sake of my mental health I sometimes have to wear blinders. I wonder if Apple ever helped Jim with his fried-by-kid-barf-laptop.

    During the height of bad times at his former job the DH bagged groceries for a local cancer fundraiser and fantasized about returning to a simpler and more straighforward position. Of course our budget quickly slapped him back into reality.

    BTW, the entire state of Indiana does not bow down and worship Peyton Manning. Some of us watched the figure skating championships.

  4. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 25, 2010 at 9:18 am

    Some of us watched “Emma.” Well, mostly. There was some checking back and forth for the OT. Then it was all about the Austen.

  5. brian stouder said on January 25, 2010 at 9:22 am

    BTW, the entire state of Indi­ana does not bow down and wor­ship Pey­ton Man­ning

    Amen to that! If it were a Commandment, I’d be in trouble because I place Drew Breese ahead him

  6. Julie Robinson said on January 25, 2010 at 9:30 am

    Jeff, there was an abundance of riches this weekend, wasn’t there? Emma awaits more time, as does about seven hours of skating I was too busy for. On Saturday afternoon I realized that Mom’s second cataract surgery is Wednesday and not the following week. I’m generally a very organized person (in recovery from ADD) and this really threw me. This will be my fourth trip out of town in as many weeks and my normal routines are shot to hell. Not working has made me an all too casual visitor to my calendar, and I’m feeling discombobulated.

  7. LAMary said on January 25, 2010 at 9:39 am

    I started watching Little Children way too late last night, and although I was liking everything I saw I had to bail at a reasonable hour. Five AM arrives too soon. I’ll catch it another time, but like a good book you have to set down, I keep wondering what is going to happen next.
    To me the women’s figure skating had an odd desperate quality about it except for the girl who came in second. Everyone was trying really really hard and it showed.

  8. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 25, 2010 at 9:42 am

    This is where 1804 English rural life comes in handy. It’s like denial, without the ugly refutations & recriminations.

    Dickensianism usually starts my Monday, so I’m very happy to prioritize Austen on Sunday evening.

  9. MichaelG said on January 25, 2010 at 10:10 am

    I’ll be rooting for the Saints but I suspect Indy is the better team. Of course the Saints have Ashley on their side.

    I have a Herb Caen signature martini glass. Really. His sig is etched below the rim. The Chron had some made years ago as a promotional item. My brother in law, who worked there at the time, scored me one.

  10. Sue said on January 25, 2010 at 10:14 am

    MMJeff what did you think of this adaptation? I heard that the Brit reviews were awful and the ratings over there were low for a standard Austen workhorse. Something about an attempt to “modernize” Emma which turned her brittle and mean instead of, well, clueless; also some bad casting.
    Since I’m not an Emma fan I will skip this one and maybe rent Clueless instead.

  11. Dorothy said on January 25, 2010 at 10:14 am

    It was painful watching the ice skating on Saturday. I began to wonder if every single one of them was going to take a tumble.

    Football is still on these days? Who knew? I was sewing an outfit yesterday for my great-nephew who turns two on Thursday. He’s into a Disney show called Imagination Movers and I made him royal blue pants and a shirt with his name on it similar to what the guys on the show wear. All for under $23. On the Disney website you can buy the jumpsuits for $100, and that’s the toddler price! There are no trademarks on the outfit so I think I’m safe from the Disney attorneys.

  12. Jeff Borden said on January 25, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Generally, when I have no rooting interest in a game, I choose to root for teams in the Midwest or Northeast. The South and the West have nicer weather so those of us who endure winter ought to have something to warm their hearts through the gloomy cold days. But I will be backing the Saints. How can you not root for something nice to happen to New Orleans after all that city has endured?

    That said, I expect Mr. Manning and the Colts will carve them up. The Vikings turned the ball over six times yesterday including at least twice in the red zone and the Saints still needed overtime to win. This does not bode well when facing a quarterback with the skills of a surgeon.

    I read “No Country for Old Men” and “The Road.” What I love about Cormac McCarthy is his ability to use the simplest language to evoke the most powerful of images. Frankly, I don’t see how “The Road” can work as a movie. The book is grim beyond all reason. Putting all that cold, inevitable despair up on the big screen seems too much to handle.

  13. Dexter said on January 25, 2010 at 10:49 am

    “Small cock­tails were favored for a sim­ple rea­son: they stay chilled from begin­ning to end. ”

    The same reasoning as to why the late Joe DiMaggio , who drank coffee all through the day and evening, only poured or ordered half-cups: the coffee stayed hot.

    I preferred my distilled spirits neat, but one cocktail stayed in my memory:
    one part Southern Comfort, one part schnapps, one part water, shaken with crushed ice. It was from a Southern Comfort mixer guide in a magazine.
    And of course the one that horrifies people until they try it: scotch and milk, introduced to me in the movie “The New Centurions” with George C. Scott.
    In that movie everyone drank scotch and milk, the cops, the hookers, well—that’s about all there was in that film, cops and hookers.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I am elated that the Saints won, and even though I am less than two and a half hours from Indianapolis, I hope they get killed. I have hated that town ever since I was a little kid. I can’t pinpoint why, except most of my life the nearest metropolis had no newspaper delivery north of what? Maybe Marion? There were no major league sports until the Colts sneaked in, no TV stations could reach us, and worst of all, Indianapolis didn’t even have a blowtorch 50,000 watt AM radio station. WIBC barely reached Fort Wayne, if the meteorologist cooperated. I wish only the best for New Orleans.

  14. Peris said on January 25, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Re Apple, this might apply: http://www.cringely.com/2009/12/ask-and-ye-shall-receive/

    Re Ashley, this does apply: http://b.rox.com/2010/01/24/not-just-a-game/

  15. Angie said on January 25, 2010 at 11:16 am

    I found my nice, normal-sized, cheap martini glasses at Fort Wayne’s World Market store (RIP). Maybe there’s one around you? If you perfect your pomegranate martini recipe, please share; I think most of us could use one.

  16. Julie Robinson said on January 25, 2010 at 11:38 am

    What a great auntie you are, Dorothy! Good grandma training, too. There were a lot of spills amongst the women skaters and I don’t think any medal potential for the Olympics. But I still love to watch it for the interaction of music, costumes and movement.

  17. alex said on January 25, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    Nance, some of my best martooni glasses came from vintage shops. You can find some high-quality stuff for very little money. My old sets, made of heavy crystal, remain complete. Of the sets purchased new, made of thinner glass, there are a few mismatched orphans remaining. Pitiful stuff.

    I’m pretty indifferent about whether the Dolts, I mean the Colts, win the Superbowl.

  18. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 25, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Martooni? Is that nun out there on the sidewalk again?

  19. kayak woman said on January 25, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    That dog-friendly mall does sound like an accident waiting to happen. All too often, I think it is the owners who are badly behaved, not the dogs. I like dogs and I am not afraid of them (I once tackled one and pried its jaws open to retrieve my daughter’s stuffed mouse). But I like to walk around my neighborhood and I do not like to be bothered by somebody’s dog jumping up on me. I don’t care how friendly its owner claims it to be. I always want to tell the dog to take its owner to obedience school.

    My loverly 3-year-old MacBook is held together by mailing tape. And I remember being hit on by those Arab/Iranian guys in the bars back in the 70s. Being an old bag has its perks.

  20. brian stouder said on January 25, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    And speaking of skating-related tension and spills, looks like Nancy Kerrigan’s dad was killed; by her brother.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35059964/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

    If you click the story quick enough, you’ll see an error in there. They have her brother as 35 years old, and then two paragraphs later he’s 45

  21. basset said on January 25, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Here in Tennessee, where way too many small boys are named Peyton, we didn’t even turn the tv on last night; went to an old-time fiddling session, then came home and read WWII history on the net.

    Neither of us has a taste for martinis, but we’ll probably be getting rid of our margarita glasses; Mrs. Basset, never a big drinker, is having her pancreas taken out in a few weeks, which will make her diabetic and rule out any further alcohol consumption. Might be a good time for me to give it up too.

  22. Joe Kobiela said on January 25, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Hated the colts ever since they were shoved down our throuts back in the day. I respect Manning but lived and died a Bear fan since the mid 60’s, when the colts came to Indy the media went nuts and thought EVERY one in Indiana should root for them. Never liked them never will. That said they will probley win but I hope the Saints beat the shit out of Payton Like they did to Farve.
    Pilot Joe

  23. 4dbirds said on January 25, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    What? None of you watched Spartacus: Blood and Sand on Starz? It was blood, sex, dirt, blood, sex, sweat, blood, sex, blood, sex ala 300 style. Has Lucy Lawless and John Hannah among others.

  24. Jeff Borden said on January 25, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Joe,

    I felt like that about Ohio State during the 10-plus years I lived in Columbus. I grew to hate the athletic teams, but mostly, the obnoxious fans. My newspaper was so in the tank for the Buckeyes that it was the only publication in America in the wake of Woody Hayes’ firing for slugging an Auburn player to print a headline reading, “Woody Hayes Resigns.” The Buckeye football beat writer had been a Hayes acolyte all along, no doubt waiting for the day when he would scoop the world with news of Woody’s retirement. Instead, he wound up with a six-egg omelette on his face when Woodrow went ballistic on national TV.

    I recall a friend from Cincinnati calling me after the game, yelling, “Woody’s gone!” I was so convinced of Hayes’ power that I argued he would weather the storm and return in the fall. That’s how much clout he had back in the day. In retrospect, Hayes was actually one of the most honest coaches in the NCAA and God knows he never earned very much money compared with the college coaches of today, so my opinion has softened a great deal over time.

  25. Deborah said on January 25, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    Watched “Synecdoche New York” this weekend on my computer and also the movie “It Might Be Loud”, The reason I watched on my Mac is that our TV is having an audio problem. I enjoyed both movies. I also had a couple of martinis at home this weekend, we have the opposite problem, our glasses are too small and it takes two rounds to get a regular sized martini. In the meantime the ice melts in the shaker and makes the second round too watery. I read “The Road” and liked it but have no desire to see the movie, especially not this time of year, and not after all of the depressing political events of last week. I’m also through watching the news for awhile, including Rachel. It’s just too damn sad.

  26. paddyo' said on January 25, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Growing up in SoCal and root-root-rooting for the USC Trojans, naturally we hated the hell out of evil-incarnate Woody Hayes (or so we thought), our perennial Rose Bowl voodoo doll. But yeah, Jeff, those seem like such simple times now in the BCS era of wretched excess, especially with all the millionaire head coaches. The end-of-the-world coverage of whatshisname’s I’m-retiring-oh-well-wait-maybe-I’ll-just-leave-for-awhile from Florida — oh, yeah, Urban Meyer — was jaw-dropping. Second Coming? Rapture? Who outside the Southeast Conference cares?

  27. Little Bird said on January 25, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    Deborah, put the shaker, and it’s contents in the freezer ’til you’re ready for round two.
    I would check Crate & Barrel for martini classes, also Bloomingdale’s Home has some nice ones. Both stores are online, so you don’t even have to go out into the weather to shop.

  28. John said on January 25, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Jeff @24: Clemson.

    4dbirds @23: Yah, but did it have Tony Curtis oiled up in leather???

  29. ROgirl said on January 25, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    Gee, the world has indeed spun off its axis when Woody Hayes starts looking less evil in comparison with the schmucks who coach today.

  30. nancy said on January 25, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Woody was a SOB, but a central-casting SOB with the proverbial heart of gold. Lived in a modest house, loved his plump wife of many decades, hated things like Playboy’s Pigskin Preview (forbade his players from participating), which was only the first tremor of the hype explosion to hit college football since his heyday. He inspired his players with quotations from the essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson and insisted they toe the line academically.

    His first baby steps back into public life after his exile were to Cambridge, Massachusetts, where he gave guest lectures on Emerson. At Harvard. Yes.

  31. Dorothy said on January 25, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Has anyone heard anything from Whitebeard since his surgery last week?

  32. Sue said on January 25, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    Jeff Borden, no one can beat Green Bay fans for constant, low-grade obnoxiousness, that spikes into delirium fever levels whenever they get near a playoff game. They behave like characters in “Pleasantville”, where other teams exist to be beaten and disappear once they’ve been properly pummeled. The Packers are great – how come – just cuz they are! Tradition! Vince! Where’s my life-sized painted particle board generic Packer player silhouette lawn ornament? That’s how much I love my team!
    Up until about a decade ago the local stations didn’t even bother to report or scroll scores not involving Wisconsin teams, barely recognized the Brewers, and led off the news (not the sports, the news) with Packer Training Camp stories in summer. They still lead off with Packer news in summer but at least they talk about the Brewers and Admirals once in awhile, and they must have lost enough viewers to ESPN that they scroll scores now.
    “Godfather of Green Bay” showcases a typical Packer fan in the scene where the Lauren Holly character goes on a date with Big Jake, a true-blue and scary Bears-hatin’ Packer fan. The dialogue is right on the mark.
    Mindless fans are annoying, whatever colors they wear.

  33. LAMary said on January 25, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    http://www.discountmugs.com/nc/personalized-glassware/707/6-oz-libbey-cocktail-martini-glass.htm

    You can get yourself some nice personalized glasses here. I think a “Nance’s Kickback Lounge” logo would be so classy.

  34. moe99 said on January 25, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    The Onion hits another one out of the park. This time it’s Rush:
    http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_dont_even_want_to_be_alive

  35. Jeff Borden said on January 25, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    John,

    Thanks for the fix. That’s at least the 10th time I’ve said Auburn instead of Clemson.

    Re: Woody. One of the Chicago sports columnists noted that Bear Bryant’s contract at Alabama required he be paid $1 less per year than the president of the university. Whatever you might say about some of the old hard-guy football coaches, they never presumed the university existed for their personal enrichment. Now, the top guys earn like a Goldman Sachs banker.

  36. whitebeard said on January 25, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Surgery is set for feb. 3, don’t want to rush these things, done a battery of tests to make sure my heart can stand the stress of surgery and got the green light from two doctors. I do not know the time of the operation yet but my surgeon says i am first on his list for that day. Surgeon did not take kindly to my wearing my leather jacket on the operation table to stop shivering, says he will have heated leg warmers and a heated chest warmer for me. Sounds comfy.

  37. Dorothy said on January 25, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    moe I’m dying to link to that Onion article on my Facebook page, but I’m afraid some of my co-workers might be offended at the language, even if they agree with the message. But I enjoyed the hell out of that. Thank you.

  38. brian stouder said on January 25, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    moe – Regarding what Dorothy said: Ditto!

  39. Dexter said on January 25, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    Hayes Hall, home of the Department of the History of Art, was pointed out to my family as we took our van tour of the campus as our daughter was going through the process of joining the OSU community.
    The two young women who drove us around told us without asking: “No, it’s not named for Woody Hayes.” Apparently on every tour someone piped up and asked them , and they said no, so now they just blurt it out every time and move on.
    So if you did not know that President Rutherford B. Hayes was from Ohio, by gawd ya know it now.
    I loved the hype of the legend of Woody Hayes, and oh yeah, I raved on how I hated that summbitch, but well, it was just mostly “for show”. Yes, Woody refused to buy gasoline in “that state up north” and all that, but when Bo Schlembecher had his first heart attack in Pasadena the night before the 1969 Rose Bowl game, guess who phoned first and lent support , and guess who went to Ann Arbor and sat with Bo , bedside, until Bo was out of danger?
    It surely was fun during the Ten Year War between Woody and Bo, though.
    Now some simply took Woody-worshiping to another level, to a sickening praise-fest. The worst was Columbus native, our nnc. favorite whipping boy, Bob Greene.

  40. Jeff Borden said on January 25, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Dexter,

    I had been a sportswriter for a small daily in Northeastern Ohio, where I covered high school sports. One of the linebackers for a local high school played at OSU under Woody for a couple of years before turning hippie and dropping out. He said Woody was very theatrical and not above the kinds of gimmicks a pro wrestler would employ. To wit, Woody would sometimes become so enraged he would tear his Ohio State baseball cap in half, except anyone who has tried to rip a wool cap apart would have a very hard time. One of the assistants told the kid Woody cut the threads with a box-cutter, so it would come apart easily. Once, he threw his wristwatch on the ground and stomped it, allowing another assistant coach to gravely intone that it was a beloved watch and Woody must really be pissed. Of course, it was an already non-working Timex.

    Then again, my source told me that he had seen Woody get so angry for real during a game that he smashed his balled fist into his forehead, momentarily stunning himself. I believed him.

    Still, like other controversial coaches, most notably Bobby Knight, the vast, vast, vast majority of OSU players thought the world of the man. He remained in touch with many of thenm and badgered those athletes who entered the NFL to finish their degree program.

  41. Rana said on January 25, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    Whitebeard, I’ll be thinking of you.

    You have my sympathies for feeling chilled – I’ve long loathed doctors’ offices that were too cold. It always seemed to me that making a person who wasn’t feeling well spend valuable energy trying to stay warm was a bad idea!

  42. Rana said on January 25, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    Dorothy, maybe you could link it with a big “Not Safe for Work – Offensive Language!” in the comment box. Then your co-workers couldn’t say that they hadn’t been warned.

  43. Dorothy said on January 25, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    Rutherford B Hayes graduated from Kenyon!! And Rana – I’m not going to link it now. But I might send it to a few trusted colleagues instead. Thanks for the idea, though.

  44. crinoidgirl said on January 25, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    Moe – after a hard day of editing, that’s just what I needed. Thanks!

  45. Deborah said on January 25, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    What’s really great about the onion’s Rush piece is that the right wing can spin it as irony and the lefty’s see it as truth. Just brilliant.

  46. Dorothy said on January 25, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    It says everything I wish I knew how to say, to each and every word. The man is just a big pile of scummy evil.

  47. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 25, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    A short simple point I’m not going to dwell on, but The Onion piece really creeps me out. Honestly folks, even if it were aimed at Pat Robertson I’d find it unpleasant. Perhaps because I do suspect that the man has more than his fair share of self-loathing, but it seems extravagantly cruel.

    Ah, the ironies of life that drive me to defend even Rush Limbaugh. But I’m not defending him as much as asking y’all — really? It makes you feel that good to read this bit?

    I hope everyone got full mileage from P.J. O’Rourke’s column on learning he had (no kidding) rectal cancer. But it wasn’t oppositional fiction, it was a man finding humor in his sorrow. This is generating sorrow so as to find humor in it. I get off a couple of stops earlier from that bus.

    Better news a little further on . . . at least I hope this is better news to anyone who reads it.

  48. coozledad said on January 25, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/24/AR2006102400691.html
    Rush is riding that bus straight to hell.

  49. brian stouder said on January 25, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Jeff – agreed that the Onion piece is absurdly outrageous; in fact the subject of that cruel polemic has tried to trademark the concept of illustrating a truth by being utterly absurd; and that he’s “only an entertainer”, afterall

    ‘Course, the problem is that he takes himself all too seriously, up ’til his opponents ‘find the range’ and start landing hits on him – and then we’re back to the ‘misunderstood and martyred’ emcee schtick.

    I did cringe at the repeated and heavy-handed references to suicide, so to some extent I understand (and share)your discomfort with that Onion piece.

  50. nancy said on January 25, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    I’d be more sympathetic, Jeff, if Rush himself weren’t so outrageously, deliberately provocative. It sort of …requires this response.

  51. alex said on January 25, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    Honestly folks, even if it were aimed at Pat Robertson I’d find it unpleasant.

    Why? Actually, I couldn’t see it aimed at Pat Robertson. I think Rush stands a chance, albeit remote, at eventually living an examined life and regretting what a purulent pustule on the ass of humanity he has been. Robertson will go to the grave with a scolding finger in the air and a shit-eating smile.

    As satire goes, it left me rather “meh,” or whatever the fashionable word is nowadays for whatevah.

  52. Joe Kobiela said on January 25, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    I find it so funny that so many of you use your time bashing Rush,you are playing right into his hand You are either listening to him,or getting your information second or third hand.Stop paying attention to him. I personaly think that Keith whats his name is a total ass. I also tried to watch that short haired woman but could only stand her, look at me I am going to say something mean about a.Republicans, b. Bush, c. anyone that opposes Obama. It was frankly boring and a little sad.So I don’t watch them and I don’t talk about them. I still say if you want to watch a program that gives each side of the story equal time, O’Rielly is the one to watch.
    Pilot Joe

  53. Rana said on January 25, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    Joe, trust me. I would LOVE living in a world where I knew nothing about Rush Limbaugh or his doings. Unless I’m willing to go be a hermit in the hills, however, that’s not going to happen. Whether one wants to ignore him or not, he has a real influence in the world we live in and, therefore, is not safe to ignore.

    Besides, you can only effectively boycott a person or company that wants your patronage and will suffer from its lack. That simply isn’t the case with Rush with regards to liberals and progressives. We could all up and die, or go collectively deaf, or burn all our radios and computers, and it wouldn’t make one whit of difference to his bottom line.

  54. alex said on January 25, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    I still say if you want to watch a program that gives each side of the story equal time, O’Rielly is the one to watch.

    That’s it. I’m driving—not flying—wherever I go from now on.

  55. brian stouder said on January 25, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Joe – I hear you. And indeed, I’d as soon ignore these guys, too. The thing is, almost every day some idiot or other parrots the latest dreck they heard on the radio box, or on cluster-Fox (as KO refers to them).

    Here’s a thought experiment for any angry teabagger:

    Should the majority rule?

    That’s it; that’s the question; is it unAmerican nowadays for a duly elected majority party to govern?

    If the Republican party sweeps into power and picks up a majority of seats in the House and in the Senate, and then in 2012 captures the White House and increases its majorities in Congress – should they then, you know, promulgate policy and govern this nation according to their agenda?

    If the teabaggers get 59 Senate seats and 256 House seats (that is to say, an 18 seat majority in the Senate and a 78 seat majority in the House), how sanguine will any of the right-wing flying monkeys of the airwaves be with a flatly obstructionist Democratic minority, openly and brazenly working to ensure the “Waterloo” of the new president? working tireless for her (or his) “failure”, without real regard for anything else?

    Because, somehow, these ‘grrrreat patriotsss’ and lovers of the Founding Fathers and of the Constitution have arrived at the conclusion that – really – majority rule is deeply subversive

  56. Denice B. said on January 26, 2010 at 12:29 am

    Like Beb said, I did love ‘The Road’. Cormac McCarthy’s talent is his amazing descriptive writing. It was an experience to read. Nancy, have you ever been to Ikea in Canton? It’s amazing. They have all kinds of glassware, dishes, furniture and housewares. When Sarah and I go, we make a day of it. They even have a cafe where they serve swedish meatballs, salmon, and Lingonberry soda. Fun!

  57. mark said on January 26, 2010 at 2:36 am

    brian s-

    Did you forget that we are a constitutional republic and not a democracy? We adopted democratic principles but rejected strict democratic rule when we wrote the Constitution. Nothing democratic about North Dakota and California each having two Senators or a constitution that requires elaborate, super-majority procedures to amend it.

  58. Dorothy said on January 26, 2010 at 6:31 am

    Jeff I understand where you are coming from, but like Nancy said @ 50, Rush brings this on himself. The Onion piece sums up how angry he makes so many people feel and we wish we could corral his nasty attitudes and angry rhetoric. I don’t think any of us said we wish the man were dead. The article is outrageous, but it’s responding in kind to the awful things he says and spews on a regular basis. The man seems to have no heart. I just wish he’d stop. Just shut his big ol’ pie hole once and for all.

  59. brian stouder said on January 26, 2010 at 8:14 am

    We adopted demo­c­ra­tic prin­ci­ples but rejected strict demo­c­ra­tic rule when we wrote the Con­sti­tu­tion.

    true enough, and a red herring nonetheless.

    Leaving aside electoral majorities – congressional majorities mean nothing? Or SHOULD mean nothing?

    At some point (and we may be closing in on that point) the cycle of obstuctionist minorities, whose only “governing” philosophy is to stop any and all initiatives from outside their clique, imperil freedom and ensure anarchy.

    Afterall, if you happen to be a corporate titan or simply a wealthy enough plutocrat, then YOU get to be “the decider”, right? The ruling principle would simply be – who is going to stop me?

  60. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 26, 2010 at 8:16 am

    Brian — thank you for getting it. Trying to drive someone to suicide is a J. Edgar kind of maneuver. Saying Rush is morally on a par with J. Edgar is fine, but taking up his tactics to say it ain’t. Which is what I’m saying.

    Some bits, pace Lenny Bruce, just aren’t funny. No matter how many times you can get fecal or anal references into it. Or out of it.

    Now, wishing flesh eating disease would strike him in such a way that the only cure is to stitch up his mouth and feed him through an abdominal tube — that I might laugh at!

  61. coozledad said on January 26, 2010 at 8:32 am

    The Onion’s satire only stretched the bounds of credibility when it suggested Rush has any capacity for self-reflection. Perhaps enough to wipe his ass of a morning, although given the usual progression of untreated opioid addictions, that may fall under the job description of one of his deeply unfortunate handlers. Of course this presupposes he doesn’t suffer from “junkie paralyzed asshole syndrome”, and has become nothing more than an ambulatory bag of rotting feces.
    I love how “Rush is an entertainer” and “Hey I disagree with him” until someone goes all “he’s a public figure and I can employ the art of satire on him, this being a titular democracy an’ shit” and the Republicans get misty for him.
    He may be a child fucker, but he’s our child fucker, ol’ Rusty.
    Should they find his lard ass slithering through a heap of lubricated adolescents, you can bet they’ll scream it was a setup. Part of a government vendetta against Republicans. Well, as someone mentioned in the case of the child-raping Republican domestic terrorist, child-sexers should fear the government.If it apprehends one, the state will send them to a place they are statistically unlikely to leave.
    In the meantime, schoolmarming public discourse about a fantasy piece that only skirts the gaping fucking maw that is that jumped-up shitsack’s surrogate conscience is pure churchlady hogshit, and unworthy of a citizen of a primarily English speaking democracy.

  62. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 26, 2010 at 9:02 am

    As I said.

  63. coozledad said on January 26, 2010 at 9:14 am

    If driving someone to suicide is your benchmark, then you have the splendid example of Rush taunting a 13 year old girl. Does this ring a bell, by any chance?
    I didn’t think so.

  64. Deborah said on January 26, 2010 at 9:27 am

    Jeff (tmmo)

    My point about why the Onion piece was so brilliant is that it is really making fun of the left as much as anything. Some people can’t see straight when it comes to Uncle Rush, on both sides of the aisle.

  65. MichaelG said on January 26, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I don’t know who Cooz has in mind, but the last time I listened to Limbaugh was when Clinton had just come into office. Limbaugh was going on and on about what an ugly little girl Chelsea was. I was appalled that he was being so nasty about a 12 or 13 year old kid. I also love the way he claims to be an entertainer and then attacks Hollywood types who express a political opinion as stupid entertainers whose opinions aren’t worthy of attention.

    Somehow MM Jeff, your moralism reminds me of Honest Ave the hair splitter.

  66. coozledad said on January 26, 2010 at 11:13 am

    Michael G: That’s precisely who I had in mind. Fortunately Chelsea grew up to be a smart, resilient young woman. Limbaugh will always be a pill gobbling strumpet.
    I find it particularly interesting to be given a granny-ass lecture by a waterboarding advocate.

  67. ROgirl said on January 26, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    It’s tasteless and juvenile, but goddamn it, it’s funny, he’s certainly fair game, and he is a big flaming pile of dog poop.

  68. Jonathan said on January 28, 2010 at 9:33 am

    I can highly recommend these “z-stem” martini glasses. Been using them for years. They are just the right size, have a nice heft and the z-stem means they aren’t so tall you’re always knocking them over. And they fit nicely into the door of a side-by-side freezer. I can usually pick them up at the local liquor store, but Target has them for US$25 for a box of 8:

    http://goo.gl/xUSD

  69. Marcia said on February 4, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    MichaelG writes: “the last time I lis­tened to Lim­baugh was when Clin­ton had just come into office. Lim­baugh was going on and on about what an ugly lit­tle girl Chelsea was. I was appalled that he was being so nasty about a 12 or 13 year old kid”

    The last time you listened to Limbaugh was never, because that incident never occured. Liar.