Battle of the bulge.

I’ve largely stayed out of the Anthony Weiner story. It seemed to require a level of commitment I’m increasingly unwilling to make, particularly for a story that required me to look at a boner. Nothing against boners in general; I just… well, let’s say that I’m really tired and I have a headache and I just ate a full meal and I have to get up early tomorrow and leave it at that.

But now all has been revealed, so let me just throw a few things out there, and maybe you all can run with them:

Lesson No. 1: You can look like this and still have your husband act out sexually like a teenager. In fact, you could almost argue that it’s more likely to happen.

Lesson No. 2: I remind you, in case you wonder what sort of people are on the other side, that Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, the Indian/Pakistani beauty referenced above, was widely whispered to be a lesbian during her time as Hillary Clinton’s assistant. Because of course Hillary must be one, and who else would an aging lesbian choose to have carrying her BlackBerry than a young, beautiful lesbian? I don’t need to tell you who was doing the whispering. Always useful to remember that whatever Weiner did, at least he didn’t do it while telling unmarried people they should practice abstinence, while cruising men’s bathrooms and insisting he’s not gay, etc. On the other hand, you want people you generally agree with to behave themselves. Sometimes they don’t. These are not mutually exclusive positions. Grow up.

Lesson No. 3: Of all the jokes made about this, the James Franco bit from Jon Stewart might be best of all.

Lesson No. 4: Remember Photomat? Fotomat? Those little kiosks in parking lots where you could drop off your film and, three days later, pick up your vacation pictures? I can’t remember what the value-added element was over standard drugstore photo processing; probably the drive-through aspect. Anyway, if we still relied on other human beings to develop our pictures, there’d be less of this nonsense going on. Each of those little digital cameras is a Pandora’s box containing all the misery in the world.

Lesson No. 5: MSNBC needs to embed shorter Rachel Maddow clips. Nevertheless, this is pretty good, especially once she gets to the Post-Bill Clinton Modern American Political Sex-Scandal Consequence-o-Meter.

Lesson No. 6: I saw Dexter on Facebook yesterday, predicting the New York Post would use WEINER ROAST in a headline today. No. No, no, no, no, no. Something far better. Lesson: Don’t ever try to second-guess a great tabloid.

And with that, I’m done talking about boners. I don’t want to think about boners for a while. Whatever the world is poking me with on the great standing-room-only subway of life, it better not be a boner. So let’s hop to the more amusing bloggage:

A father notes his son is totally embarrassed when he, dad, waves at son’s passing school bus. So he decides to make a game of it, and starts dressing in costume for the morning waves, a different one every day. Of course he kept a blog. Note that dad is missing a leg. That doesn’t have anything to do with this — he lost it in a motorcycle accident, a little googling reveals — but it did come in handy on pirate day.

The Coozledads have a new foster child at their vegetarian petting zoo. A crow.

Not quite OID, but D-centric: There’s a fight going on here, which most of you probably haven’t heard about, on a proposed second bridge between the U.S. and Canada across the Detroit River. I’ll boil it down as succinctly as I can: The current bridge, the Ambassador, is privately owned, and has helped make its owner, a grumbling octogenarian who lives on the American side (in Grosse Pointe Shores!), a billionaire. The state of Michigan believes any crossing that important should be in public hands, and preferably international hands. Both sides agree the Ambassador needs replacing, but the owner wants to build the second one himself right next to the current one and keep it the title, and the state, along with Ontario’s provincial government, wants to build it a mile or so downstream, to keep trucks from rumbling through the heart of Windsor, among other reasons. Lately, the grumbling octogenarian has gone on a PR campaign. He hired Dick Morris, of all people; you know, Mr. Charming? The latest move: Sticking mock “eviction notices” to the front doors of the residential neighborhood most affected by the proposed new bridge. Charming:

Dolores Toth, 81, who has heart problems, began to shake after reading the notice, said her son, Steve. “How low can you go?” Steve Toth said. “This isn’t something you do, I don’t care who you are.”

And with that, I’m outta here. I need to take a picture of my underwear and mail it to someone.

Posted at 10:02 am in Current events, Detroit life, Media |

52 responses to “Battle of the bulge.”

  1. John (not McCain) said on June 7, 2011 at 10:10 am

    “You can look like this and still have your husband act out sexually like a teenager. In fact, you could almost argue that it’s more likely to happen.”

    No kidding. One reason Obama is president is because Seven of Nine wasn’t enough for Jack Ryan. SEVEN OF NINE!!!!

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  2. Mark P. said on June 7, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Weiner’s behavior is a real disappointment. How can anyone today not know that if you put anything on the internet, everyone in the world will see it? But Earth-shattering? No, it doesn’t quite make that level. Basically what we have found out is the he’s a human, and humans have a really hard time controlling the most powerful instinct we have short of the desire to eat. That one he does seem to have under control.

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  3. Suzanne said on June 7, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Well, John (NM), that Jack Ryan problem and Ditka’s refusal to run in his place. Nobody coulda beaten da Coach.

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  4. Judybusy said on June 7, 2011 at 10:42 am

    The Wave at the Bus dad named one of kids Riot. OTH, he quotes Billy Idol and Napolean Dynamite. Hmmm,colorful might be the best adjective. I am probably glad he’s not my neighbor. Dunno why, just a feeling I have. I did enjoy seeing a few of the costumes though! Now, back to work in my Thank-God-It’s-Air-conditioned-Cube: we have a 1 in 3 chance of hitting 100 today. Thursday’s predicted high, you ask? Why 65, 35 degrees cooler.

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  5. MichaelG said on June 7, 2011 at 10:44 am

    Cong. Weenie Wagger probably wonders why it’s OK for Vladimir Putin to publish weird pix of himself but not OK for him. Putin. Now there’s a truly creepy dude for you.

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  6. John said on June 7, 2011 at 10:55 am

    If you have a Weiner sized bulge in your Lady Hanes, then the National Enquirer might be interested. Or at least some Lady Gaga fans…

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  7. LAMary said on June 7, 2011 at 11:04 am

    I stand by my comment from last Wednesday. Everyone is walking around with a cellphone that can take photos and send them anywhere. People with adolescent ideas about what’s sexy
    can fire off stupid embarrassing phoots without giving any thought to consequences. When there was a chance of getting caught in the act of creating or sending the photo, somehow it was more offputting than realizing that firing off pics of your privates into cyberspace was irreversible and accessible by millions.

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  8. Deborah said on June 7, 2011 at 11:14 am

    Nancy, excellent post and so far the comments are great too, can’t wait to read the rest of them throughout the day.

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  9. paddyo' said on June 7, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Each of those little digital cameras is a Pandora’s box containing all the misery in the world

    Man. I agree with Deborah. I go away for a coupla weeks, and I return to find your wonderful Fotomat observation, which ends with one of the best lines ever.
    Nice, sadly.

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  10. nancy said on June 7, 2011 at 11:24 am

    Paddy, you’re right — it was Fotomat, with an F. I’ll fix.

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  11. alice said on June 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    George “don’t say Gay, just say Takei” gets it.!/GeorgeTakei/status/78102730299805696

    (Boehner’s would be easy to identify from the tear stains.)

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  12. coozledad said on June 7, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    alice: Takei is the Li Po of twitter.

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  13. ROGirl said on June 7, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    I won’t be shocked, shocked if there are further, more serious revelations about Weiner’s reckless behavior. I get the feeling that this is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

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  14. Jeff Borden said on June 7, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    The worst thing about the Anthony Weiner affair is how much time it will take up in the national media and the blabathons that drive D.C. dialogue. Damn, we are in some serious times and we’re going to talk about a lame brain politician’s stupid behavior instead of how in God’s name we are going to rise above a base line of 9% unemployment, how we are going to wind down three wars, how we are going to wrestle down our out-of-control health care costs, how we are going to deal with our crumbling infrastructure.

    Speaking of infrastructure, one of my favorite magazines is Car & Driver, which as an enthusiast’s publication has always had a very, very, very dark view of federal involvement in areas such as mileage standards, commuter lanes, speed limits and such. This month they are devoting several pages to a grim assessment of America’s roadways particularly the interstate system. It’s saddening and maddening reading, but what I think is striking is where this is appearing. Maybe this is a nascent awakening among the non-wonky set of the very real danger our ignoring our infrastructure presents to our nation.

    I was not quite a teenager when the last leg of Interstate 71 was completed in Northeast Ohio in the mid-1960s, creating a ribbon of highway linking Cleveland with Columbus and Cincinnati. It was huge news. . .no more trips to the city on two-lane state roads with a traffic light on every corner. It used to take more than 90 minutes to get from our house to the 9th Street pier in downtown Cleveland. Now, it was a little more than 30 minutes.

    Will we ever see these kinds of national accomplishments again? Or have we sunk too far into our worship of the past that we no longer even consider the future except for tax cuts and sex scandals?

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  15. coozledad said on June 7, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Here’s a real “Decline of the republic” scandal, Courtesy CNN and one of its resident “greasy self-promoting dumbfucks”:

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  16. LAMary said on June 7, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Here’s some light entertainment. A palate cleanser.

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  17. brian stouder said on June 7, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    Excellent stuff!

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  18. Mark P. said on June 7, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Jeff Borden, making sure the media concentrate on things like Weiner is exactly how the Republicans intend to handle all of those problems you mention.

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  19. Bitter Scribe said on June 7, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    IIRC, Jack Ryan’s problem wasn’t that Seven of Nine wasn’t enough for him, but he wanted the denizens of a sex club to watch him enjoying her. The really stupid thing was that he sprang this on her as a surprise.

    If you want to surprise your wife, you take her to a nice restaurant, maybe a play or a concert. You don’t take her to a sex club unless you’re 100% sure she’ll be into it.

    As for Weiner, to me the worst part is that this will give that insufferable shithead Andrew Breitbart another reason to preen.

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  20. Peter said on June 7, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    I’m having a hard time with the whole Wiener phenomenon (Stewart’s right – the jokes just write themselves on this topic). My problem, if I may ramble, is that a high school principal gets canned on the spot for a somewhat lesser infraction (re: Nancy’s recent post), but a congressman gets a free pass? Shouldn’t they be held to the same standard as any other public employee?

    BUT, what if the gentleman engaged in his hobby at home, after hours? People do get a private life, and questionable as the practice may be, it wasn’t illegal and wasn’t done on company equipment. I agree it would be different if he was harassing people, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. And, I think it’s beyond fair to say that extra curricular activity has been occurring at the Capital since it was built – is it a crime that it was exposed? (ba-da-boom).

    I wish that there would be some way that someone in public life that is caught in this situation could just move on without the whole tar and feather morality play.

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  21. Scout said on June 7, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    I am still shaking my head, wondering how anyone could be so stupid. It’s almost as if he wanted to get caught. Despite my disappointment in someone I thought was a pretty good legislator, there is a difference between someone like Weiner in this situation as opposed to your typical family values spouting hypocrite who gets caught doing the same thing. Bottom line, I think he should acknowlege the fuck up, (which he has) and lay low for a while.

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  22. coozledad said on June 7, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Now that Breitbart is one of them, I wonder how far ABC will circle the wagons for his ass when some of his victims unearth his trail of kink. Breitbart’s is going to be especially fun, unless it involves a crawlspace full of corpses.

    Probably just a bunch of sticky back issues of Soldier of Fortune, though.

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  23. ROGirl said on June 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Hubris fits the bill in this case, as with so many others. Donning wax wings and flying too close to the sun is not a good idea.

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  24. prospero said on June 7, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    Weiner basically Gary-Harted himself. Of course there is still no element of truth necessary to preotec Breitbart from a slaner suit for what he spewed on CNN, public figure or not. Just a minor, pedantic point: both the diphthongs ‘ie’ and ‘ei’ are common auf Deutsch. I am sure the Congressman’s name is German or Austrian in origin. The rule of pronunciation is that the dipthpng is pronounced as the second letter. Mein is mine, weiner is whiner, not weener. Oscar Mayer makes wieners. I suppose this was preemptive pronunciation when little Anthony went to school, since kids were going to pick that up immediately. In all of the admissions and recriminations, it still seems strange that the picture was up for only 6 minutes befor being deleted, and somehow Andrew Dimbart ended up with a screenshot. Someone needs to nail that asshole to the wall.

    Calling Weiner’s behavior lewd, salacious or obscene seems like a major league stretch. Puerile or sophomoric would seem to cover it just fine. It looked like a MarkyMark Wahlberg ad for Calvin Klein. (See ei = long i, not clean. And Mike Stipe pronounces Lenny’s surname correctly in The End of the World.) And now for something actually obscene, and relevant to the real world:

    Why would anyone vote for Boehner (R, Oompa-Loompa) for anything. And how do they live with themselves.

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  25. moe99 said on June 7, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    Weiner is a class A wanker. All those smarts blown up by teen age behavior I don’t think my youngest would engage in. He should be subject to the same shaming we provide for the Republicans with the fig leaf exception that Nancy notes: he at least has not pretended to the family values hypocrisy so beloved of most Republicans.

    That being said, the local issue in Seattle is that the young woman at the epicenter of the controversy was voted by her senior class to be “most likely to be involved in a tabloid scandal.”

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  26. Dorothy said on June 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Burst out laughing at the kitty on the scooter going backwards! Made everyone in the office wonder what I’m up to. Thanks for the laugh, Mary!

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  27. Connie said on June 7, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Guys, I just have no interest in a picture of your boehner or your weiner. Cute buns, maybe but I got my own cute guy at home.

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  28. Jeff Borden said on June 7, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Balloon-Juice is linking to a report that Weiner was closing in on a series of significant conflicts of interest involving Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his loony right-wing better half Ginni. These involved six-figure payments to Ginni and $10,000 speech honorariums to Clarence from organizations with business before SCOTUS. This is incredibly important stuff, but it will now be lost because who is going to pay attention to Mr. Crotch Rocket when he talks about things of real interest to the public? We’ll all be too busy clucking and making faces.

    So. . .his selfish actions don’t hurt only him and his wife. We’re all going to pay for his arrogance and ego.

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  29. del said on June 7, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Thanks for the diphthong primer prospero. As for Wiener it seems to be much ado about nothing.

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  30. Dexter said on June 7, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    I used to take a lot of Tri-X-Pan 400 black and white shots with my trusty Yashica that I bought in Japan. I used Fotomat , but I recall I could save quite a bit by going into a KMart or a drugstore and filling out a form and dropping the rolls into a bin.
    Now, of course, one has to wait in line at the drug store or at Walmart. I hate that, and as a result I don’t even take digital photos at all.

    Michael G, today ,here in NW Ohio,feels like July in the San Joaquin Valley. 96 F, full throttle humidity, poor dogs suffered when I took them out to their business appointments at noon. And…my wife’s car’s A/C , working like a charm yesterday, all of a damn sudden is now blowing furnace air only. And, she just got a client 25 miles away she must drive to daily.

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  31. del said on June 7, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    I just saw your post Jeff. Weiner could always let someone else reveal the information. That might be asking too much.

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  32. ROGirl said on June 7, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Prospero, Mel Brooks played with the ie/ei pronunciation rules in “Young Frankenstein,” or should I say “Frahnkenshteen.” Then there’s Geoffrey Fieger, pronounced Faiger, not Feeger.

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  33. Dorothy said on June 7, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    Dexter you don’t have to wait in line for pictures – unless someone is ahead of you at the machine where you plug in your camera’s memory card. You scroll through the pictures, edit if you’d like, and order 4×6, 5×7 or whatever size and whatever number of pictures you want. Finish up and it prints out a receipt and you go pick them up either in an hour or so, or in two or three days. I’m glad to say farewell to the days of Fotomat or mailing little cartridges to a place that sometimes lost my precious pictures.

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  34. Jolene said on June 7, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Weiner’s failings, such as they are, are mainly embarrassing. Look at what Evan Bayh is up to these days. What a sell-out. What a schmuck.

    Meanwhile, I just heard that the death toll for the German E. coli out break is now up to 23–not a large number in the scheme of things, but still pretty amazing in a well-run, highly regulated economy w/ excellent medical care available to the victims.

    Also, all across the country, state governments are closing parks, downgrading maintenance, and raising admission fees. Pitiful.

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  35. Jeff Borden said on June 7, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    Unfortunately, Jolene, this is what our Galtian overlords seek. Aside from funding the armed forces to fight their wars, they have little interest in the other things governments are usually expected to do. The manufacturer of off-road vehicles manufacturer suggested the other day that California could make some cash by closing its wonderful state parks and charging admission to those who own dirt bikes, ATVs, four-wheelers, etc. to run them through that majestic real estate.

    I don’t think it is out of the question that the great attractions of our communities –parks, picnic grounds, libraries, harbors, fishing piers, gardens, etc.– will someday be given over the public sector. You want to stroll through the poseys? That will be $10. You want your dog to romp in the dog park? $15, please. Oh, check out a book? No problem. 50 cents per day.

    Conservatives have so debased our national conversation nothing is out of the question. The rich must get richer. Fuck everyone else. You’re losers or you’d be rich.

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  36. LAMary said on June 7, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    Things like parks, libraries and schools are the equalizers in society. That’s why they are the first to go.

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  37. prospero said on June 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    Dexter, I used to own a Yashica-Mat 124 twin-lens reflex. My absolute favorite camera ever. Shot lots of Tri-X, more Plus X because of the remarkable textures you could get from the grain in the large format negatives. Great for the great outdoors and, surprisingly for portraiture. the Yashica-Mat is basically a Rollei knock-off. It’s the camera we used in J-Scool photog classes. I need to get a new one.

    Jeff Borden: They paved paradise, and took all the trees, put ’em in a tree museum. Charged the people a dollar and a half to see ’em.

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  38. LAMary said on June 7, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    My freshman year of art school,we all had to have Yashicas (I’m thinking Yashica-D?) and lots of Tri-X. I sucked at taking pictures but I really liked working in the darkroom. I could fix my bad photos in the darkroom, or at least make them more interesting.

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  39. prospero said on June 7, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    If Weiner is forced to resign, which he shouldn’t be–if he can live with the embarassment, fine– Somebody’s going to have to explain why David Vitter is still a Senator. Asshole broke the law, repeatedly.

    LAMary, there is nothing like a 2-1/4 square negative to let you turn a photographic sow’s ear into a silk purse. Or vice versa as Coozledad would probably have it. The Yashica D was, I believe, the immediate predecessor of the Yashicamat. Very similar cameras. I’m going to find one on the net. I’ve seen a Rollei digital TLR for less than $300 so far, but my brother and his wife just bought a new house with a garage the size of a barn where I could easily set up a darkroom. Spending my daughter’s inheritance.

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  40. LAMary said on June 7, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    I think my Yashica-D was 129 dollars and I gave it to my brother when I left art school. Art school didn’t have killer expensive text books, but the supplies were brutal.

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  41. Bill said on June 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    God, I’m old. We used Speed Graphix 4 x 5’s for the j-school photo course.

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  42. Joe Kobiela said on June 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    Must say very muggy today although now as I sit on my balcony in St Clair Mich overlooking the river, there is a nice breeze and it is quit comfortable. Have watched 5 frieghter go by in the last few hours. Them boats is BIG.
    Pilot Joe

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  43. MichaelG said on June 7, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Finally, Dexter, a lovely day in Sacramento. About 75, sun is shining. Still 12 degrees or so below normal but no complaints here. Every door and window is open. It’s supposed to reach the 80s by the end of the week. Summer’s coming.

    I remember those huge 4 X 5 Speed Graphix cameras and those plates and the actual flash bulbs used with them. When I was a kid I badly wanted one of those 2 1/4 Rolleis.

    Edit: The TV says it was 77 today and will be 82 tomorrow. The guy pointed out that 77 would normally be considered a cool day.

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  44. Dorothy said on June 7, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    97 here tomorrow – in the mid 90’s here the rest of the week. It’s not even summer yet – we’ll all be melting on the spot if we stay outdoors for too long.

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  45. Kim said on June 7, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    I am hopeful the next generation (our kids) will be smarter about technology’s everlasting pitfalls. At every admitted student college day we attended with the eldest this spring the deans told the kids “Clean up your Fbook, tweets and so on. Prospective employers look at that and no matter how well you do here, that will matter as much or more. Your parents are making a huge investment in you – think $100K. Don’t screw it up.” I should probably send the kid off to school with the understanding that if online indiscretions muck up his career opportunities he will be on the hook for the entire cost of college. He is literal, so I could get away with that threat. My others, not so much.

    Not too long ago I googled a very promising hire, only to find all his Fbook friends were strippers with whom he had cheesy, desperate conversations (yeah, settings not even set to private). I am sure the auto junk pix would have shown up on his page if only I’d had the stones to look. Would that have made a different on the widget factory line? Likely not. But interviewing high school athletes, um, yeah – icky.

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  46. basset said on June 7, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    >>IIRC, Jack Ryan’s problem wasn’t that Seven of Nine wasn’t enough for him, but he wanted the denizens of a sex club to watch him enjoying her. The really stupid thing was that he sprang this on her as a surprise.

    Someone explain that to my pop-culture-challenged self, please.

    Cameras… I used a Canon FTb way back when men were men and Tri-X was the default for just about everything, it’s still up in the closet worn down to bare metal on the corners. What was that stuff we used to process it in if we wanted to bump it up to 1600? I remember it was in a little white can.

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  47. Kim said on June 7, 2011 at 11:42 pm

    Basset – Jack Ryan was a repub married to actress Jeri Ryan, who played Seven of Nine (hot Borg/hybrid robot lady) on Star Trek Next Generation. He was the GOP nominee in 2004 to run against a guy named Barack Obama for the U.S. Senate in IL. His divorce files (from 7 of 9) did him in because he apparently wanted the wife to engage in relations at a sex club. Very educated man – which didn’t seem to make a difference in his dumbness.

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  48. Dexter said on June 8, 2011 at 1:27 am

    I used to go to Fort Wayne’s McJon’s Camera store …was it Wells Street?…and buy the chemicals and supplies and paper to develop my film in a crude darkroon my buddy had set up in his home. I was so surprised when he showed me how simple it was. I made a lot of 5 x 7 and 8 x 11 prints. I had so many I stored hundreds in my garage. Squirrels invaded and destroyed my photos and my old souvenir newspapers from major events in the sixties. Oh well. I see no beauty or purpose to having all these damn squirrels around here. Four years ago they chewed through my cable . No TV or computer for quite a while, until the guys came and strung wires .

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  49. alex said on June 8, 2011 at 7:21 am

    Obama’s path to the senate was almost like the waters parting for Moses. Blair Hull was the runaway favorite in the Democratic primary but had to withdraw when his divorce records revealing a history of spousal abuse were leaked by the GOP’s dirty tricksters. What subsequently happened to Republican candidate Jack Ryan was tit for tat.

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  50. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 8, 2011 at 8:13 am

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  51. Dave said on June 8, 2011 at 9:09 am

    McJon’s did have a store on Wells Street, Dexter. All of those places have disappeared, almost, although one Stellhorn Photo shop still is in business (with different owners) and Sunny Schick is still downtown.

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  52. prospero said on June 8, 2011 at 10:07 am

    Whoa Bill, shades of Weegee. There was an early X-Files episode about a guy with a Speed Graphix which seemed to approximate the scythe Death carries. The thing about Jack Ryan that was inconceivable was: Who wants to go to sex clubs when he’s married to Seven of Nine?

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