When the news is fun.

I stuck to my guns (sorta) and broke away at noon today for a short bike ride. Not much of one — just a couple errands to the post office, the bank, but enough to feel like my ass isn’t entirely made of blubber. Apparently, autumn is well under way — I rode through a yellow blizzard of ash leaves, nearly wiped out on ping-pong-ball size acorns, and still got a little sweaty.

The post office errand was to forward a mailer to the Lansing office for possible Truth Squadding. If you’re in Michigan, you can find many of the state’s political ads and related communication vetted there. Please to click, keep us going.

It’s going to be a long month. Which I think I said yesterday, but it bears repeating.

Change of subject.

Alan said the other day that he hoped the Pussy Riot story went on and on, because he so enjoyed hearing Diane Rehm say “Pussy Riot” in her quavery voice on NPR. I feel the same way about the University of Tennessee butt-chugging story. If you aren’t up to date: Apparently a frat boy was hospitalized with a sky-high blood-alcohol level, and evidence at the scene suggested he’d ingested box wine via enema.

Please don’t ask me why. Do I look like a frat boy? I don’t see how squirting wine up your ass would hit the bloodstream faster than sending it down the traditional pipe, but then, it is far more entertaining, and it requires reporters to say “butt chugging” over and over again. Again, this is a story where all you need to do follow the Gawker tags, and you can keep up just fine.

And what is the tag? Why, butt chugging, of course. Butt chugging, butt chugging, butt chugging.

The University of Tennessee has been officially crossed off Kate’s college list. Just kidding — it was never on it.

Let’s skip to bloggage:

Herman Cain visited Ann Arbor recently:

“Aw, shucky ducky,” Cain’s speech began. “Now let me see if I’m in the right place — uh, Go Blue?”

Ah, yes, Go Blue indeed. And what the hell, go red, too — after all, this was a cross-party fiesta. Just ask the uncomfortably pluralized Job Creators Solutions group, the organization that brought Cain and the College Truth Tour to Ann Arbor. According to their website, the College Truth Tour is a bipartisan initiative devoted to setting students straight on matters of the economy. And if you have any doubts about the bipartisan-ness of a lecture from a Republican presented by the College Republicans, never fear — the bleeding hearts got their word in. Specifically, from the back row of the auditorium, usually offering a poignant rebuttal to whatever poignant point Cain made. Just listen:

“The United States does not have a sugar daddy,” Cain yelled. “Who we gonna borrow from?”

“Australia!” someone shouted from the crowd. “Germany! China!”

And the geography lesson continued for another thirty seconds.

Remember when presidential candidates didn’t immediately descend into sideshow after they withdrew from their race? I blame Bob Dole and his damn Viagra ads.

First, let’s kill all the foodies. Or at least make them shut up for a while. The worst of them, anyway.

Southeast Michigan, meet your soon-to-be newest congressman. If you can find him.

I’m going to watch a history lecture. Good night.

Posted at 12:06 am in Current events |

89 responses to “When the news is fun.”

  1. Jakash said on October 3, 2012 at 1:00 am

    Wow, that food article from The Guardian is really long. Couldn’t make it all the way through. I did sample a few comments, though. I think this guy sums it all up pretty well in one English English sentence. “Nothing at all can beat a great bag of chips, which is why all these wankers banging on endlessly about posh food are wankers.”

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  2. Dexter said on October 3, 2012 at 1:27 am

    An intro to S2E1, Homeland…print, not video.

    Butt-chugging … I hope the fad ends like the tiny airplane-metal scooters that emerged 12 years ago and were going to replace bicycles. Nope. Only tiny children still use them now. Adults never mention them as adult transpo devices, and I hope butt-chugging disappears as well. Damn, Sheriff…that’s aggravatin’.

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  3. Sherri said on October 3, 2012 at 3:07 am

    What I couldn’t figure out about the butt-chugging story was why the frat boy and his dad were so adamant about denying it, and in the process, keeping the story alive. The link provides a hint though: they’re afraid someone might think he was teh gay.

    Fortunately, I’m a Tennessee Tech alum, not UT.

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  4. David C. said on October 3, 2012 at 6:39 am

    A much better story than someone filling their hinder with cheap wine. I want to be this guy when I’m 100.

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  5. Suzanne said on October 3, 2012 at 7:10 am

    I am old. When I was in college, people did drink and got drunk, but it was usually an unintended consequence of trying to have a good time. Now, getting drunk is apparently the point, and the drunker the better and the quicker the better.
    Wine enema? Maybe the colonoscopy doctors should look into this as a way to make that whole process a bit less stressful.

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  6. alex said on October 3, 2012 at 7:26 am

    There’s butt-chugging and butt-dialing. Now all your butt needs is a cigarette to go with the wine and the phone.

    (I hear tell that in colonial America, tobacco addicts took it up the ass.)

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  7. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 8:04 am

    We, here in the cheap seats, wanna know more about the history lecture.

    I’ve got the annual Lincoln Colloquium coming up next Friday-Saturday in Indy, which oughta be good stuff

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  8. beb said on October 3, 2012 at 8:19 am

    Nancy wonders why a wine enema instead of just drinking it. Because the small intestines are a blood vessel rich prgan designed to absorb things from inside the intestines while the stomach is designed to digest solids, not absorb them. So, yes, alcohol up the butt will be absorbed fasted then down the throat.

    Speaking of frat boys, there’s this political message from a new York billboard

    Easily the most dishonest ads have been the anti-bridge ads from the owner of the Ambassador Bridge. But right up there is a an for the renewable energy initiative which begins by tellus most electricity comes from coal … and from imported oil and then warns us that we should be depending on “imported coal.” Since coal is imported from exotic places like West Virginia… I’m all for wind and solar farms to generate electricity but even I thought that was wildly dishonest.

    An ad that makes one go “hmmm” is a billboard that asks “Obama is for gay marriage, are you?” Well, yes, yes, I’m. Thank you for asking. It’s paid for by the Republican party and presumable it’s to tar our President with teh gay thing. But the open-end nature of its message goes as much to remind people why they voted FOR the President as why they shouldn’t.

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  9. nancy said on October 3, 2012 at 8:20 am

    It’s the video lectures for my online course, Brian. Don’t get excited. THe professor certainly doesn’t.

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  10. nancy said on October 3, 2012 at 8:27 am

    But beb, there’s no way an enema would make it that far — to the small intestine, that is. An enema irrigates the large intestine to get the contents moving, and while some liquid is absorbed via those membranes, I can’t imagine it’s any faster than drinking it. I mean, if I take a shot of whiskey, I’m feeling it within a few minutes.

    Maybe the frat boy just digs taking enemas in front of an audience. In which case, I should introduce him to my friend Tom, who sells the equipment on the internet.

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  11. alex said on October 3, 2012 at 8:37 am

    Watched Half the Sky last night on Jttmo’s advice. Pretty somber stuff before bedtime, although I’d rather see that than NCIS. It was quite an eye-opener and helps put the trifling problems of our first-world country in perspective.

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  12. Mark said on October 3, 2012 at 8:45 am

    Apparently, although most liquids are absorbed in the small intestine when ingested normally, the large intestine does play a part in removing most of the remaining liquids from the fecal matter. So it appears that the large intestine can do a good job of getting you drunk if that’s your thing. For me, the good stuff with wine happens in the mouth, not the digestive tract, so I take mine orally. But then to me, “drunk” means sleepy, so that has never been one of my goals.

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  13. del said on October 3, 2012 at 9:58 am

    That buttchugging press conference video is unbelievable on so many levels. Sure the fraternity boys don’t get it, they’re kids, but the attorney’s obliviousness is stunning. I especially liked it when he referred to his client as being Scotch rather than Scottish. And the “tour De Franzia?” More alcohol humor? What is he, an assoholic?

    And that poor bastard buttchugger who will live in infamy forevermore as his emotional apology to his fraternity brothers, his fellow students, the people of the great state of Tennessee, and ALL Americans, will be preserved for posteriority. (Rimshot) Wait, Rim-shot!

    Check out the comments to the vid for amusement.

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  14. mark said on October 3, 2012 at 10:09 am

    Butt-chugging is about getting drunk really fast, at least that is one reason. You bypass all the bodies filters and defenses (against what is essentially a poison) and move the alcohol into the blood stream almost immediately and almost directly. It is extremely dangerous.

    More common among the too young to drink crowd is pouring the booze into the eyes. Two years ago teenagers showed up at parties with “water bottles” filled with vodka. Once parents caught on and started confiscating these, the more persistent adolescents moved to smuch smaller (and more easily concealed) bottles with a couple of ounces of vodka. Five minutes in the bathroom pouring this into the eyes gets them very fucked up. Again, the booze goes straight to the bloodstream.

    This seems to be far, far more common with girls.

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  15. mark said on October 3, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Aaargh, no edit available? And “posteriority” was pretty funny, del.

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  16. MarkH said on October 3, 2012 at 10:28 am

    Alex has the lead @6.

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  17. MichaelG said on October 3, 2012 at 10:30 am

    I couldn’t see the video. What did he say about the finish? A hint of (*&^? The nose? A touch of @#$^%$? Do they now have a butt sommelier?

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  18. Dorothy said on October 3, 2012 at 10:36 am

    Ahh remember the good old days when we couldn’t edit and comments stood on their own, first-submitted merit! Actually I’m barely picking up on misspellings or grammar errors. I don’t know if that makes me a lazy reader or I’ve mentally adjusted to the missing edit button.

    I am in an extremely blue and/or cranky mood today and I cannot figure out why. Do I need to know why or can I just go with it? I just want it to stop because I feel like punching someone, anyone, and then having a good cry about it. Anyone else ever feel like that? I hate it. I am usually very upbeat so this bothers me when I feel so crappy emotionally.

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  19. MarkH said on October 3, 2012 at 10:37 am

    mark, you’ve gotta be making that up. EYES??

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  20. Deborah said on October 3, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Alcohol in the eyes? Are you kidding me? Wouldn’t that sting like hell?

    I just sent out a thank you e-mail to the people in my office for a lovely time last evening. And I immediately got an e-mail back from accounting asking me to submit my timesheet early so they can have my last paycheck ready for me Friday. I just submitted my very last timesheet folks! Yay, that felt good.

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  21. Connie said on October 3, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Slate’s guide to picking the right apple for your purpose. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/food/2012/10/apple_variety_flow_chart_which_kind_of_apple_should_i_choose_for_eating_baking_bobbing_throwing_.html

    Feed those Red Delicious’ to a horse.

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  22. Marie said on October 3, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Mark@14, as a parent of a high school senior, I try to keep up with all the ways underage drinkers try to sneak it. Even sneaking small bottles of liquor is not easy, so girls are putting vodka in ziplock bags and tucking them into bras. Not so easy to detect by rattling about or falling out.
    School nurse told me that students were inserting alcohol anally and vaginally. The reason?….they get high and teachers, parents, police can’t smell it on there breath.

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  23. Sue said on October 3, 2012 at 10:58 am

    del, a ‘tour de Franzia’ is the college student booze equivalent of a progressive dinner.

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  24. Deborah said on October 3, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Dorothy, I feel that way sometimes. You aren’t alone. Go outside, somewhere remote and scream, it’s cathartic like crying. I used to have a convertible and I’d take the top down and let out a couple of good long screams while driving fast down a remote highway. I don’t think anyone ever heard me.

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  25. Sue said on October 3, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Dorothy, sorry to hear about the crankiness. Have you been getting any sunshine? Sit in the sun if you can find some, see if it helps.

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  26. del said on October 3, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Dorothy, hope you feel better soon. Buck up. Eat an apple. 🙂 Or have some hard cider.

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  27. Deborah said on October 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Connie, that apple chart is hilarious. Although I think of Jonathans as tart not sweet, that’s why I like them so much.

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  28. Judybusy said on October 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Oh, Dorothy, I hope this is momentary. Maybe it would be good to go off and cry for a bit or go for a walk, if you can.

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  29. nancy said on October 3, 2012 at 11:12 am

    I’m going to take a moment to call bullshit on both vodka in the eyes and the ol’ vodka-soaked tampon canard. I respect you, Mark, but until I hear from an ER medical professional who saw it with his or her own sober eyeballs, I just can’t get onboard. As someone has already pointed out, such a practice would be extremely painful; at least the wine enema has a visual gag to recommend it.

    And vodka-soaked tampons? How the hell would you get them in? Regular, dry tampons require an applicator, and if you’ve ever seen what happens to one when it hits liquid, you’d immediately see the problem.

    This sounds like “pharm parties” for the binge-drinking age.

    Dorothy, buck up. This too shall pass. Take yourself out for a really good lunch.

    Oh, and back to the butt-chugging: Isn’t there a reason enemas are usually performed in the bathroom? I’ve never had one myself — THANK YOU, JESUS — but my understanding is that once the fluid is infused, the urge to expel it immediately is almost overwhelming. I don’t see what butt-chugging would get you other than an extremely weird bowel movement, perhaps on the frat-house living-room floor. And honey, there’s not enough money to get me to clean THAT up.

    Thanks to this discussion, I have actually googled “enema technique.” And let me tell you, there are some weird people out there. Probably a postgrad thesis in the cult of colon cleansing.

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  30. mark said on October 3, 2012 at 11:13 am

    “Vodka eyeballing” has been around a while but fell out of favor with the college (old enough to drink) crowd in large part because it does sting. It has found favor with the younger, have to hide my drinking, crowd for various reasons including speed, lack of alcohol on breath, etc.

    Sunday I reviewed a series of tweets from local kids- party saturday night where a teen girl overdid it by eyeballing and a growing number of in the dark adults- party hosts, parents, er docs, etc., try to figure out what is wrong with her. Throughout, the teenagers play dumb while tweeting the truth and expressing the hilarity/concern/alarm they feel about the situation to hundreds of other teens.

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  31. mark said on October 3, 2012 at 11:17 am


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  32. coozledad said on October 3, 2012 at 11:22 am

    My wife and I had an acquaintance, now deceased, who swore by high colonics followed by a dollop of yogurt. I always wanted to ask him “fruit or plain?” and now it’s too late.

    My mom used to give us enemas, along with routine doses of castor oil. I don’t know where she got the idea we weren’t shitting enough. My father also insisted on a gentian violet wormer every year, whether we appeared wormy or not.

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  33. Deborah said on October 3, 2012 at 11:58 am

    This is way TMO but when I was a kid my mother gave us enemas for almost everything when we were sick. I even got an enema once when I had a rash from the mango tree. When I told my husband this he thought my mother was probably psychotic for doing that to me and my sister so often. When I saw the movie Sybil it made me think my mother was pretty weird. Although she certainly didn’t tie me to the piano or anything like that.

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  34. coozledad said on October 3, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Deborah: my mom never tied us to the piano either, but if she had, she’d have said “You’re damn lucky to have a piano to be tied to. Shut up.”

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  35. crinoidgirl said on October 3, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Everybody is now looking at me laughing hysterically at work.

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  36. beb said on October 3, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    mea culpa for think that the small intestines follows the large intestine and not precedes it.

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  37. Kirk said on October 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    Depends on which end you’re coming from, beb.

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  38. Mindy said on October 3, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    If butt-chugging is a way to get drunk faster, I wonder if coffee enemas are meant as a way to get caffeinated faster. Seems like the thing to do the morning after a night spent butt-chugging instead of merely the coffee.

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  39. Mindy said on October 3, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Make that “merely drinking the coffee.”

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  40. MaryRC said on October 3, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Crinoidgirl, I know. I had to take a call and was still laughing when I picked up the phone. And of course I couldn’t explain to the client why I was laughing.

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  41. Sue said on October 3, 2012 at 1:18 pm

    Anyone from Connecticut to shine some light on this? This is so bizarre I can’t believe there isn’t something else not mentioned here.
    I mean it. I can’t believe this.

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  42. Dorothy said on October 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    You guys are the (beginning of) the cure for me! I went to lunch solo at Fiesta Mexicana and read this site, smiled while waiting for my chicken chimichanga, reading your sweet words. Now I’m back to work and it’s my turn to laugh out loud at Cooz – and I loved Kirk’s comment @37. The only reason I know which end is which is because my husband had about 15″ of his intestines removed nearly two years ago when they found cancer. (Got it in one fell swoop – no chemo or radiation was needed.)

    I’m kicking myself for passing up on some Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame event tickets that were advertised at work this morning. It’s happening on our anniversary (10/27), a tribute to Chuck Berry. And Mike’s very favorite guitarist, Joe Bonamassa, is going to be there. AND Rick Derringer, who he worshipped in high school. I think the tickets have been taken but I’m going to see if I can find some online. What a 33rd wedding anniversary that would be!

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  43. del said on October 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    Living in a house full of college guys can be an education in itself depending on what your housemates are like. One of my brothers drew the short straw on that count and had some awful housemates in Ann Arbor. He told me he wanted to move. Why? Because they were pigs. How so? Well, he explained, they’d gather in the living room and play turtling games. What’s turtling? I asked.

    His lineaments were unforgettable, expressing as they did both sorrow and shame. Shame, I think, for knowing what turtling was and sorrow for having witnessed acts of turtling.

    Turtling defined in the urban dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=turtling

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  44. Jolene said on October 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Feed those Red Delicious’ to a horse.

    Can’t say I disagree w/ this, but it makes me sad. Long ago and far away, when I was growing up in the sticks, we used to keep boxes of Red Delicious apples in the “fruit room”, a chilly storage area in our basement. We could have them at any time, but we almost always had them on Saturday evenings w/ popcorn, after our baths. They were crisp and, yes, delicious. It’s a crime that they’ve been bred into mealy tastelessness. Just one of the many examples of global worsening.

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  45. Jolene said on October 3, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Seen on Twitter today in re tonight’s debates: Wish I was in Ann Arbor so I could have some Zingerman’s with my zingers.

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  46. Danny said on October 3, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    As I said a few weeks ago, Pussy Riot is the absolute best band name ever and beats the crap outta Makeshift Memorial.

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  47. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Well, a little digression from winey enemas to some analysis that will give us a whiney Romney:


    The tendency for the challenger’s numbers to improve has been more robust, however. The only year in which the challenger lost a material amount of ground was in 1992, an unusual case in which both Mr. Bush and Bill Clinton lost ground relative to H. Ross Perot. But here’s the bad news for Mr. Romney: no candidate who trailed by as much he did heading into the first debate went on to win the election. In the two cases where the lead reversed after the debate, 1980 and 2000, the trailing candidate was down only one or two points in the polls. The FiveThirtyEight “now-cast,” conversely, pegs Mr. Romney’s deficit at about 5 points instead.

    To judge by the conversations I’ve heard – and one I got yanked into – my Republican friends are down to their last ditch, and we’re going to hear lots more about Rev Wright and our lazy, part time, faux president. Oh, joy

    PS – forgot all about the online courses that our proprietress is taking. Still – a full report (ie – one sentence, with no commas) on what the exciting history professor was holding forth upon would be interesting.

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  48. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on October 3, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    That wanting to imagine punching someone, hard, twice in the face, then anticipatorially feeling like crying afterwards? Makes plenty of sense to me, Dorothy. Stick to imagining, because both that and the tears are catharsis. Then, figure out one small thing you can do that will address the problem (emphasis small), then do it, telling yourself “this isn’t going to fix everything, but it’s something.”

    Then once you’ve done it, go kick some leaves down Middle Path while it’s still so lovely and the sky is blue enough to make a merry contrast.

    Sometimes, if it goes on long enough, you just have to punch someone in the face, but rarely does it actually help. The tears are the sign that you know that already. But if they’re truly deserving, I live close enough to stand near them and leave the general impression that they might get punched in the face, if that would help. Height is deceptive that way.

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  49. alex said on October 3, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    del @ 43–

    So which was it? Mean shit-holding contests? Or sabotaging roommies’ backpacks?

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  50. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    What Alex said! The definitions were (fairly wildly) divergent.

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  51. Danny said on October 3, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Aloha. What time is the debate? I am on Hawaiian-time for an extended period… adventuring and looking for that confounded birth certificate, of course. I was thinking that it might be entertaining to catch a bit of the debate over a few margaritas. Any bets as to what the best words will be to form a drinking game tonight?


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  52. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    drinking words:

    percent (as in “47”)



    Cayman Islands

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  53. Dorothy said on October 3, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    I have never, ever punched someone in the face and I don’t plan to start now. Think I’ll just run around with my dogs in the yard when I get home from work tonight, and that should help. Their romping and doggie smiling always makes me feel good. I’ll try to ignore the pissed off face of the cat as she watches with envy from the screened-in porch.

    I want to know what time the debate starts, too. Is it 8 PM EST or 9 PM EST?

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  54. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    9 eastern time; and you and I are in the same zone (in more ways than one) Dorothy

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  55. del said on October 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Alex and Brian, it was definition number 1 — which ironically involved the act of number 2 — that is, dropping one’s pantaloons to one’s ankles, squatting, and seeing who could almost poop out the most before sucking it all back up (“turtling” it) into one’s sphincter.

    Are you glad you asked?

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  56. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Honestly – no!

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  57. Little Bird said on October 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    I’ve heard that action called “prairie dogging”.
    Regardless of the name, it sure seems like a weird pastime for a bunch of college guys. Sit around and watch your best buds (nearly) take a dump?

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  58. Dorothy said on October 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Thanks Brian

    Hey Dexter …. you were just talking about using up lots of apples yesterday. Check this out from today’s Columbus Dispatch:


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  59. Kath said on October 3, 2012 at 3:50 pm


    I pulled the Connecticut Supreme Court’s opinion in this case. (It’s 25 pages long with the dissent). They aren’t saying that the state had to show that the victim physically resisted in order for the crimes to constitute sexual assault. Rather, she was not “physically helpless” as defined by this particular statute. Here’s a quote from the court’s opinion:

    Physical helplessness under [the statute], however, has a highly particularized meaning that is unrelated to whether a person is physically able to resist unwanted sexual advances or mentally able to understand when to resist such advances. Rather, under [the statute], a person is physically helpless if they are “unconscious or for any other reason … physically unable to communicate unwillingness to an act.” (Emphasis added.) Our case law, and the case law of other jurisdictions, makes clear that, under this definition, even total physical incapacity does not, by itself, render an individual physically helpless.

    Basically, the state charged the defendant under a statute meant to apply to situations where the victim was unconscious or unable to communicate. She was able to communicate, so the defendant was charged under the incorrect statute. Not a good result for the victim or society, but the headline to the article is misleading at best.

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  60. nancy said on October 3, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    I hear stories like Del’s, and reflect that what the Christians say is true: Women really are the great civilizers of the world.

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  61. Sue said on October 3, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Thanks Kath. It appears someone wrote a crummy law, no surprise there. I would not like to be the rapist who is no longer a rapist if this thing becomes a state or national outrage. He’ll be less safe on the streets than in prison.

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  62. Dorothy said on October 3, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    whoops … that was yesterday’s Dispatch. I have the paper copy here with me at work; forgot it was not today’s paper!

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  63. Dexter said on October 3, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    After reading this thread today, I needed some reassurance that there is some hope for the world, and I found it…the secret to health is three glasses of wine (not an option for me) , honey water for energy, and an active cycling life…well into your 100s! Yes, 100 k ride for a 100 year old man. You can understand French, right?


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  64. Suzanne said on October 3, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Crabbiness must be going around. I got a text from my away at school daughter today who said she just felt crabby and down in the dumps for no reason that she could figure. It’s gloomy where she is, but she likes that kind of weather. Maybe it’s the full moon, or maybe a rip in the cosmos or something. People I work with have been pretty cranky, too.

    And I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to drink boxed wine again.

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  65. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Another drinking game phras for the debate tonight:

    “B’the way” (I bet Mitt says that at least 5 times tonight)

    And, that stupid flag lapel pin with the black splotch on it (which Jolene correctly points out is really a golden elephant) still bugs the fecal matter right out of me (beyond mere turtles).

    What the hell would the line be at Drudge and Shit-for-Brains-Sean Hannity, if the president routinely wore a defaced American flag on his lapel?

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  66. del said on October 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    The turtling perpetrators or prarie doggers (thanks Little Bird) were not students at the University with my brother, no, they were community college kids. Might that be a relevant distinction? No, for as Ms. Nall has observed, it is, alas, a gender specific matter.

    I once knew an ambitious law firm student-intern who’d been paired with a young attorney mentor. The mentor’d graduated from Harvard Law School. That intimidated the intern as it might be harder to impress a “Harvard man” to get a job offer. The intern did his best to act appropriately and be dignified, respectful and hard working. He was well mannered and gracious until that occasion when the mentor casually mentioned that he’d known the intern’s brother in college, and that his brother, in a room full of fraternity brothers, did something to amuse everyone. It was very funny. What was it?

    Oh yeah, that’s right, he inserted a frozen banana part way into his own rectal cavity.

    The facade of male civility, destroyed.

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  67. del said on October 3, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Drinking word for tonight’s debate: Jobs.

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  68. Sue said on October 3, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    I assume the word “ladyparts” is off the table tonight, but maybe I’ll have a small glass of sherry handy, just in case.

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  69. ROGirl said on October 3, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I can read nn.c from work, but can’t comment, and it’s been really frustrating today. The Guardian article was one of those British snark fests that keeps on giving. I especially enjoyed the reference to the edible menu at Alinea in Chicago: “perhaps the edible menu is to dining what edible knickers are to sex.”

    Somebody should write a doctoral dissertation on homoerotic horseplay among frat boys. Such a rich, profoundly contradictory topic with so many societal implications.

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  70. Little Bird said on October 3, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    If you try to use “jobs” in a drinking game tonight, expect a visit to the hospital. Alcohol poisoning seems inevitable.

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  71. Deborah said on October 3, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    In my comment at #33, it should be TMI not TMO.

    I will be dead on the floor from alcohol poisoning if I take a drink every time I hear “jobs” during the debate tonight. Beside the fact that our TV isn’t hooked up for watching anything but DVDs, I have to find a way to watch the debates on-line.

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  72. MichaelG said on October 3, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    Kath, it seems that someone may have chosen to prosecute under the wrong statute. I know the law revolves around technicalities but this one appears to be a triumph of bureaucracy over justice.

    I remember guys lighting farts in college. That seems so innocent now.

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  73. David C. said on October 3, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    Here’s Mother Jones’ debate bingo card. I won’t be watching. We mailed our absentee ballots today.

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  74. David C. said on October 3, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    Josh Hamilton went 1 for 5 with no home runs. Looks like Miggy has the triple crown wrapped up.

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  75. paddyo' said on October 3, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Dorothy and Danny, if you’re still searching for the debate time:

    Here in Denver, where it takes place, it begins at 7 p.m. MDT.
    That means 9 p.m. EDT in the East and 3 p.m. in Hawaii

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  76. Dexter said on October 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    So far this debate is a classic bore…arguing over the $5 trillion tax cut, or not, for 25 minutes is just too damn much…and they’re still on this, the first segment. Oh damn…now they’re on the federal deficit. I can’t stand it.

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  77. Sherri said on October 3, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    Okay, I’ve listened to as much debate as my mind can stand without exploding. When Mitt started talking about cutting PBS to attack the deficit, I couldn’t take anymore.

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  78. Little Bird said on October 3, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    My friend in Germany had to turn it off when Mittens started spouting about clean coal.

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  79. Dexter said on October 3, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    In my opinion, out of this grouping, only Annie Lennox and Jon Bon Jovi look better with age.


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  80. Sherri said on October 3, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    I almost turned it off when he said “I love coal.”

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  81. Little Bird said on October 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    I don’t know how many are aware of the song that this parodies, but it’s really funny!


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  82. coozledad said on October 3, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    Jim Leher isn’t qualified to moderate a turtling contest.

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  83. Deborah said on October 3, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    I think Obama is following the Briar Fox he lay low strategy, I really do. CNN had a ticker at the bottom that showed the male and female responses to the candidates. Almost across the board Romney scored high with the males and Obama scored high with the females. Everything I have read about Colorado says that it will be the votes of women that will decide. As a woman, let me say Romney turned my stomach on so many fronts.

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  84. Catherine said on October 3, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    My drinking strategy was, when Romney started talking, pour a glass of wine. Try not to listen too hard. Finish the glass. Turn off the radio.

    A friend tweeted: “Jim Lehrer, currently a distant third in this debate, needs to make a bold move to get the wildcard position.”

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  85. MichaelG said on October 3, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    There are three debates. Romney seemed to me to be full of platitudes and emptiness, despite what the heads on NBC think. For a guy with that much money, one would think he could score a better hair cut. A Supercuts walk in at 4:30 doesn’t get it. That continuing smirk while Obama was talking was a real turn off.

    I think Obama did just fine. He moved things along. There was no need to swing for a knock out with two debates remaining. I can’t wait for the third one.

    Cooz, I couldn’t agree more. He looked like a frustrated old lady who hadn’t turtled in over fifty years and was stone jealous. Maybe placing him under the turtle would motivate him.

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  86. LAMary said on October 3, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    Didn’t Jim Lehrer perform with the same lameness at one of the 08 debates? I remember thinking he should have retired when McNeil left.

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  87. brian stouder said on October 3, 2012 at 11:29 pm

    Agreed with Michael G.

    If President Obama had acted precisely the way that Governor Romney did – cutting off the moderator and smirking at the opponent – then it would have been “confirmation” that the president is an angry black man; uppity; entitled.

    Did Romney win the evening? I suppose he did. Will that “win” make a difference? Nate Silver said (in general) that we can expect the challenger to gain a point or two in the polls?

    In football terms, the president was doing the ground game, and burning the clock; while Romney was doing the razz-matazz game.

    I was happy at the end of the debate, and not surprised by the post-game analysis.

    And the bottom-line is, I betcha the Obama campaign isn’t unhappy with the president’s performance at all.

    (most of us are old enough to remember President Reagan’s genuinely and unsettlingly poor performance vesrus Walter Mondale back in 1984; RWR looked genuinely befuddled and flat-footed. And we know how that election turned out)

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  88. alex said on October 3, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    What I witnessed tonight is a man of principle up against an automaton who’s free to say whatever the fuck he pleases. In this awkward format, how do you counteract a bunch of well-delivered pernicious lies?

    Romney was blinking/ticcing like crazy but still managed to blow some mean bluster. I wouldn’t count him out at all, but only because I don’t underestimate human stupidity.

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  89. DellaDash said on October 4, 2012 at 12:08 am

    Best pundit quote (from CNN) after the debate:

    “One man’s running the country, and the other is running his mouth.”

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