I try to be polite to the Jehovah’s Witnesses who regularly pass through our neighborhood, really I do. They have to do their thing, and I have to do mine, but I don’t see any reason for us to be shitty to one another. Usually they retreat gracefully with a “we have our own church, but thanks for coming, and best of luck. Have a nice day.” A small lie, that, but a pretty pale one. Today’s couple was pushier, though:
“I was shocked by these statistics about internet pornography,” she said, opening her Watchtower. “It says that a new pornographic movie is released every two hours, and someone accesses porn on the internet every minute.”
“Doesn’t really surprise me,” I said. “It’s everywhere.”
“But that means someone could be accessing porn on this very street,” she said. “One of your neighbors.”
I don’t know why that was the tipping point.
“We’re First Amendment absolutists in this house, thanks,” I said. “You have to take the bad with the good.”
The phrase “First Amendment absolutists” shut her mouth, shut the Watchtower, and got off my porch pretty damn quick. We’re the worst sort of heathens.
So. A former college football star — not of one of the big schools, but Grand Valley State — was found dead in the woods a few weeks ago, and today the autopsy reports came back. Cause of death:
LANSING — A former Division II college football star who disappeared in the Michigan wilderness during a late-evening fishing trip died of pneumonia caused by inhaling his vomit, according to an updated autopsy released today.
The report also suggests Cullen Finnerty’s disorientation and paranoia in the woods May 26 may have been exacerbated by a combination of the painkiller oxycodone and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).
Remember a few years ago, when gay intellectuals started talking about same-sex marriage, and you thought it wouldn’t happen in your lifetime, if ever? Someone said the other day that we’d see the demise of football — at least played at the prep level and especially below — within fewer years than you think. No longer betting against that.
Finally, I leave you with this fine Dahlia Lithwick take on Ken Cuccinelli and his almost unbelievably creepy anti-sodomy crusade:
His critics, including the ladies of The View and Jay Leno, have responded to Cuccinelli’s quest to reinstate Virginia’s anti-sodomy or, “Crimes Against Nature” law, with snickers and winks. The law is plainly unconstitutional—according to both a 2003 U.S. Supreme Court decision and a federal appeals court—and giggling about the attorney general’s creepy preoccupation with Virginians’ consensual oral sex makes for an easy comic target. But that focus obscures the real—even original—sin undergirding Cucinelli’s latest legal push: It’s a call for judges to read statutes to mean what they don’t say; a call for outright judicial activism, for freewheeling judicial interpretation—qualities legal thinkers on the right usually deplore.
A really good piece. Read.
Finally, I keep forgetting to pass along a remark someone made at the party last weekend. Some of my old neighbors read the blog, and one said, “There are two of your commenters I want to ask you about.”
Guess which two?
I’ll let you think about it. Answer, eventually, in comments. Have a great weekend, all.