In a burning building.

As the shutdown settles in, I’m wondering if we’ll ever see the other side. The government will roar back to life in time, but will we ever like one another again? When did the worst insult you could fling at someone morph from “go fuck yourself” to “go die in a fire”?

Yes, I’m bummed about this. I read the interview with Newt Gingrich in Salon and was so appalled, I wondered if it might have been a piece of performance art:

You called “Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior,” “the most accurate, predictive model for his behavior.” Do you think events since then have proven that correct?

I think that the — what I was citing was a very interesting book, which became a movie, which I think does give you some sense of the origins of some of, of his values. I mean, go back and read his Cairo speech, and look at reality, and ask yourself how could somebody have been that wrong. And I think it’s because he actually believed the mythology of the left.

And which values are those?

Well, that everybody’s ultimately nice, that everybody wants to have a democracy, that we can really all get along easily, that the U.S. has to be very cautious and restrained because, after all, all these nice people mean well.

And how is that related to “Kenyan anti-colonial behavior”?

Look, I would describe – well, go read the book! I was making a passing comment about a book which I found useful, and which described basically an academic belief system. Now since you know, you can decide if you agree with it or disagree with it, but that’s what it was based on.

And that view, do you think that view has been vindicated over the past year?

Well, OK, I’m trying to suggest to you, first of all, I have no idea. I don’t spend a lot of time psychoanalyzing the president. I’m not going to spend a lot of time with you to set up some kind of absurdity. The fact is, I was citing a particular book I thought was helpful. You might want to read that book and decide if it’s helpful.

God, what a human toadstool that man is. The book he’s referring to is, of course, that Dinesh D’Souza piece of crap. It was, indeed, made into a movie. I was following a Facebook thread about it before the election. One enthusiastic viewer’s rave was tempered by a dark cloud — how, he wondered, could we get younger people to see it? All the heads he’d seen in the theater were bald or gray.

Here’s a day-brightener: I was investigating my fitness app for new activities to track, after learning that my morning dog walk is a full mile. (No wonder Wendy is growing so fit and sassy.) What else can I obsessively measure, I wondered, scrolling through the full list. Cricket, fencing, handball, and what’s this? “Intimacy.” I wondered about calories burned, so I entered a 15-minute session: 126. Hmm. It doesn’t even ask who’s on top or specify what the activity is. I bet Callista Gingrich burns that many just prepping for intimacy with her husband, what with having to wrestle herself into that hazmat suit and all.

God, I’m scattered. Let’s go to the links:

Eminem may be a recovering drug addict and about as far from Ward Cleaver as you can get, father-wise, but his little girl was named homecoming queen last weekend at her (public, but yes, suburban) high school.

A sharply written blog post at compares the public discussion over revenge-porn legislation to concerns over head trauma in the NFL:

In other words, the thinking on both issues combines to a riff on the old canard: if you didn’t want to get your brain raped, you shouldn’t have gone out dressed in such a revealing football helmet. …Kids might understand how to better say no if we we weren’t whispering yes into their ears the whole time. As if it couldn’t get any more hypocritical than that, our appetite for pornographic images, and the choreographed pornography of bone-shivering on-field hits is as big as its ever been. We’ve set up the standards by which young men and women are expected to perform, and then when they come out the other end of the gauntlet wondering whether or not they may have made an unwise choice or two along the way, we tell them it’s their own fault for giving us what we asked them for.

Further down on the same page:


Finally, what is there to say about the Antonin Scalia interview in New York magazine? He believes in the Devil:

Can we talk about your drafting process—

[Leans in, stage-whispers.] I even believe in the Devil.

You do?

Of course! Yeah, he’s a real person. Hey, c’mon, that’s standard Catholic doctrine! Every Catholic believes that.

Memo to the justice: I was raised by Catholics who didn’t believe that nonsense. So speak for yourself. Also, he’s very selective in his news consumption:

What’s your media diet? Where do you get your news?

Well, we get newspapers in the morning.

“We” meaning the justices?

No! Maureen and I.

Oh, you and your wife …

I usually skim them. We just get The Wall Street Journal and the Washington Times. We used to get the Washington Post, but it just … went too far for me. I couldn’t handle it anymore.

Not NPR?

Sometimes NPR. But not usually.

Talk guys?

Talk guys, usually.

Do you have a favorite?

You know who my favorite is? My good friend Bill Bennett. He’s off the air by the time I’m driving in, but I listen to him sometimes when I’m shaving. He has a wonderful talk show. It’s very thoughtful. He has good callers. I think they keep off stupid people.

That’s comforting. One of the most powerful men on the planet listens to Bill “Double Down” Bennett. I think I’m going to bed.

Posted at 12:30 am in Current events |

52 responses to “In a burning building.”

  1. Sherri said on October 8, 2013 at 12:49 am

    I find the “anti-colonial” thing confusing. Aren’t we anti-colonial? Didn’t we fight a war about that? I suppose they mean Communist, and since Communism is dead, that doesn’t pack a punch anymore, and they need some more synonyms for Socialist and Marxist.

    Maybe we should send Newt some chicken: He can share it with Scalia.

    394 chars

  2. MaryRC said on October 8, 2013 at 2:09 am

    Newt Gingrich was Speaker of the House 14 years ago. He hasn’t held political office since. His Presidential campaign was a joke that not even he appeared to take seriously. Why is he still asked for his opinion on anything?

    227 chars

  3. alex said on October 8, 2013 at 4:57 am

    Why is Bill Bennett still asked for his opinion on anything? For that matter, why is Scalia? He makes Archie Bunker sound like a brainiac.

    138 chars

  4. Deborah said on October 8, 2013 at 6:09 am

    I’m still laughing about Calista wrestling herself into a hazmat suit.

    70 chars

  5. ROGirl said on October 8, 2013 at 6:25 am

    “Kenyan anti-colonial behavior” is very unsubtle code for “kill whitey.”

    72 chars

  6. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on October 8, 2013 at 6:54 am

    Happy birthday to Jolene!

    25 chars

  7. David C said on October 8, 2013 at 6:57 am

    It takes big brass balls to turn a man who would gladly cut Social Security in exchange for some minor tax loopholes that could be easily re-inserted over the next couple of budgets into… …well this:

    249 chars

  8. coozledad said on October 8, 2013 at 8:10 am

    “Die in a fire” used to sound a little harsh, but if they’re setting it themselves, why not? I’ve been trying to figure out what, if any, skill sets these people have besides outright theft, grift, or shit flinging. They’re certainly unblemished by any knowledge of history, art, science, literature, economics, ethics, or even basic ass wiping.

    The whole FEMA Camps thing demonstrates their curiously elevated self regard. Why would anyone even want to concentrate a bunch of moribunds like that? It would be a prion disease vector for decades at best. It’s not like you could swing by and pick up a truckload of day laborers unless you’re a bathroom goblin contractor.

    And speaking of death by fire, any sympathy for this Rick Santelli inspired protest is deeply misplaced:

    I hope the DC cops are waiting for this white trash spasm with shoulder fired rockets armed with hornets. Burn, baby, burn.

    994 chars

  9. beb said on October 8, 2013 at 8:15 am

    At least the interviewer for Salon tried to pin Gingrich down to what is Kenyan-style anti-colonialism. One shouldn’t throw out theories until one can explain why they mean. Of course Gingirch may have had a problem because I think ROGirl has it right: Kenyan Anti-colonialism is conservative-speak for ‘kill whitey.’

    Bracketd with Scalia’s no-nothingism these two interviews paint a bleak picture for conservative thinking. It seems less and less a philosophy and more a collection of unhappy people.

    I don’t know the details of California’s revenge-porn bill but it seems a good thing to outlaw that kind of action. As for Esquire hyping sexy photos of starlets, I see that on a lot of political websites. They sign up for advertising from some syndicate, get a block of ads at least one of which appears to be a link for sexy photos. Makes one think that sexism will never be completely eradicated.

    907 chars

  10. Dorothy said on October 8, 2013 at 8:35 am

    I rarely snort when I read something you wrote, Nancy, but the hazmat suit line did it for me today. Thank you for that! I needed a good laugh today.

    I’m just all out of sorts because we have our house spiffed up and de-cluttered, and the agent is coming today to list it, and we saw a bunch of houses over the weekend in Dayton. I feel like Sandra Bullock in Gravity – just spinning and spinning and whirling with no way to slow myself down. Why is the house selling and buying system so fraught with anguish?! We thought we wanted a rural home around Dayton, but the commute times to work for Mike will be just too much. So we’re probably looking at older subdivisions with a generous backyard so he can still do his beekeeping. I feel like we’re looking for a needle in a haystack.

    If any of you use Instagram, check out a picture on teamrubicon’s page. It’s my son on a mountaintop in Afghanistan, wearing one of their jackets. He looks very handsome, if I may say so myself. TR is on Twitter, too.

    1014 chars

  11. Peter said on October 8, 2013 at 9:58 am

    “go die in a fire”? That’s the worst insult these days? We are truly a bankrupt nation.

    My coworker is from south Texas, and several times she would end a conversation with a difficult contractor or vendor with “Well, God bless your soul”, which she told me is Texan for “Eat shit and die”.

    Speaking of which: Wow, that Justice Scalia is getting crazier by the hour. He’s the kind of guy you would see in the back of the bus or outside the Y yapping about fifth columnists and the Trilateral Commission, the kind your mom warned you to stay very far away from.

    569 chars

  12. coozledad said on October 8, 2013 at 10:06 am

    Bride of Teddy Bear needs some thorazine in her oatmeal.

    I was on the outskirts of a sleepy southern town
    Trying to arrest the president before the sun went down
    The old CB was blarin’ away on Channel 1-9
    When there came old One L’s voice on the radio line
    And she said, “Breaker 1-9, the leaf is on the fig!”
    Come on back truckers the preznit is a N-, uh, a muslim!”
    I keyed the mike and I said, “You got it, crazy eyes”
    And you could almost hear them blue lights a’ rolling toward the skies
    “Appreciate the breaker who we got on that end”
    I told her my handle and then she began
    “Though I’m not supposed to bother you fellows out there
    Marcus says you’re busy and he’s strapped me to a chair
    But you see, I get lonely and it helps to speak in tongues
    Hamma lakka bakka lakka! at the top of my lungs”
    I came back and told her to fire up that mike
    And she could hooka lakka brakka as long as she liked
    “This was my dad’s radio”, the little thang said
    He used to tell me It was healthier than the voices in my head
    But the voices got louder than this little radio
    And they speak to me in scripture “Booka blag Bazooka Joe!”
    Marcus has to work now to make ends stop meeting
    And I’m not much help with my endless bleating
    He says not to worry that we’ll make it alright
    But I hear his cries and whispers sometimes late at night
    You know there’s one thing I want more than anything else to see
    Oh, I know you guys are too busy to bother with me
    But you see, my dad used to take me out to the street
    And throw a ball out there and say get it! Vite Vite!
    Not one breaker came on the old CB
    As that little crippled lady talked at me
    I nearly swallered a whole lump of chaw
    And I thought about buggering Tim Mcgraw.
    “Dad was gonna take mom and me with him later on a date
    To tour the grand Canyon on roller skates.”

    But I know now I’ll never leave the house again
    This radio is all I have, and Marcus’ leather friends.
    Michele is gonna back on out now and leave you alone
    ‘Cause it’s about time for Marcus to come home
    But you give me a shout when you conquer DC
    And I’ll surely be happy gakka nooka crakka God help me.

    2309 chars

  13. brian stouder said on October 8, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Peter, here in Fort Wayne that guy our moms wanted us to stay away from has a local radio show – where he rants at the rubes for three hours each day (mostly about the evils of ‘Obamacare’), when he’s not (honest to goodness!) selling insurance from his agency.

    I’d ignore him more effectively, except we apparently live smack-dab in the middle of the rube-belt…and the guy turns up at marching band contests all the damned time, as the booth announcer.

    Truly, the schools ought to insist that they have someone (anyone!) other than an anti-public schools rabble-rouser like that guy at such events, but here we are

    624 chars

  14. brian stouder said on October 8, 2013 at 10:18 am

    gakka nooka crakka God help me.

    I think this wins the day, the week, and the month; and –

    God help us all!

    119 chars

  15. nancy said on October 8, 2013 at 10:26 am

    Cooz, a friend of mine in town is a music producer. I’m thinking you have a future a lyricist for a current-events musical act. Like the Capitol Steps, only actually funny.

    172 chars

  16. Jeff Borden said on October 8, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Considering how very far right this nation has traveled over the past 20 to 30 years, it continues to amaze me how right-wingers still see themselves as embattled, surrounded by evil forces seeking their destruction, prisoners of a mad, corrupt pop culture that demeans and denigrates them, the downtrodden pushed to the ditches by a caravan of leftist legislation.

    What a bunch of crybabies.

    I agree about Newt Gingrich being a waste of skin, but he’s hardly alone. In what world is Peggy Noonan relevant? Or a Liz Cheney? Or, for that matter, Dick Cheney? I never see Al Gore on my TV. . .or even Dan Quayle. It would be nice if the D.C. bookers would throw their Rolodex and Outlook lists away and start over again. When John McCain or Lindsey Graham show up, I get hives.

    781 chars

  17. Bitter Scribe said on October 8, 2013 at 10:37 am

    Gingrich engineered a government shutdown in his day, got a thorough and well-deserved butt-kicking for his trouble, and apparently has never gotten over it.

    And beb, Esquire’s obsession with sexy starlets waaaaaay predates the Internet.

    240 chars

  18. Charlotte said on October 8, 2013 at 11:13 am

    Sherri — I was just coming in to post the chicken story (reported by my friend Maryn) — who needs the FDA? Look at how well self-regulation is going. Sheesh. I might have to eat my own backyard birds after all.

    We were up too late watching the Red Sox lose it in the ninth (on TiVo no less). Luckily the wind has died down today so I think my Masshole is going fishing for the day, which will be good.

    And I get to spend the day fighting with Sears over the oven I bought in March 2012 that seems to have lost it’s thermostat. The reason the pork roast was still raw the other night after an hour and a half at 350, was that the oven temp was actually only 225. My anger at “durable goods” that don’t last is fathomless …

    733 chars

  19. brian stouder said on October 8, 2013 at 12:25 pm


    Is this a good thing, or a bad thing?

    (Sounds like a Carl Sagan thing)

    94 chars

  20. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    More on the GOPer/Meese plan to defund Obamacar at the cost of trashing the global economy. Even Forbes Mag, that well known Kenyan anti-colonialist rag, says that appears to be the GOPer goal. Seriously, Ed Meese brought this idea to the GOPers months ago and it has been their plan all along. Meanwhile, a group of non compos mantis incompetent Teabangers that got into the House with maybe a million votes total are demanding to run the government, and dominate public policy. The champions of American exceptionalism are content with bullshit policy that will establish the country as exceptionally Third World.

    And when did “anti-colonial” become something bad in the USA? How does this make sense? Nobody was more anti-colonial than G. Washington, T. Jefferson, J. Adams, T. Paine et al. And the ultimat difference between Washington’s army and the MauMau is more to do with weapons of choice than political philosophy. And both Newticles and Scalia sound like they went to Woodstock and got the bad acid, and it still hasn’t worn off. I’d have aced Scalia if the devil comes to him in the form of his “bad uncle”. AAnd how do you interview that pompous whole and not ask him why he didn’t recuse himself in the Cheney energy policy case? That was flagrant judicial malfeasance.

    According to the Treasury Dept. American households lost a grand total of $2.4 trillion last time the GOPers threatened default on the debt. Now I’d say, that money didn’t go up in smoke it just vanished into other people’s pockets.

    And to me, Mila Kunis looks like a pretty fifth grader not a grown woman. I really don’t want to see Esquire style photos of her. Peggy Noonan obviously goes on those talk shows with Ven Halen type contract tiders about what sort of box wine and what color M&Ms are put in the green room for her. And polls should stop asking whether people are alright with defunding Obamacare. The question is, “Are you alright with defunding the entire US government?” Baja Cali and Uruguay look better everyday.

    2200 chars

  21. John (not McCain) said on October 8, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    “Esquire’s obsession with sexy starlets waaaaaay predates the Internet.”

    Weren’t they the ones with that famous cover of Angie Dickinson shaving? Not that I’m old enough to remember it from it’s first apearance or anything.

    I’ve seen “get raped in a fire” in various fora. That sounds worse than just plain old dying to me.

    And “bless your heart” is the way women in at least Georgia, Kentucky and Alabama say “fuck you bitch.”

    440 chars

  22. Julie Robinson said on October 8, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    Spit take after spit take on the hazmat suit and Cooz’s latest. It’s a good thing there’s so much to laugh at today, because I’m feeling some righteous anger about the right wing. It’s getting hard to hear and read the news without blowing a gasket. Recently I’ve reconnected with some college friends on facebook and am about to disconnect because of what they’re posting. How did my intelligent and open-minded friends turn so far to the dark side?

    Although I know my Bible decently well, I don’t follow the end times movement and I’ve no idea what Bachmann means when she says the fig is on the leaf. Adam & Eve covered themselves with fig leaves, and Jesus makes a couple of references, but it’s a puzzler. Where’s Jefftmmo?

    Dorothy, you have my sympathies, the whole process is enervating. I sure hope you sell quick and find a great new place fast. It’s been so long since we went through it, I’m wondering if it’s easier with internet listings? We were toying with moving and I eliminate a lot of places pronto by viewing them online. In fact, I eliminated so many that home sweet home started to look better and better.

    1138 chars

  23. Julie Robinson said on October 8, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Dang, I forgot I wanted to share this speech by Amy Poehler. Can’t we just send her and Tina Fey in to clean up the Washington mess? Sorry, there’s an ad at the beginning.

    214 chars

  24. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    In GA, “Bless your heart” means something more like “You’re a brainless idiot that couldn’t blow your nose if brains were gunpowder.”

    133 chars

  25. coozledad said on October 8, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    The Republicans will probably lose the house, even with gerrymandering, and this is partly the reason why:

    They’ll probably counter this speech by putting up some flap-jowled Dixie shartslick to drone on in racist code for awhile. But 70% of the country already hates them, and the rest are terrified little shits who’ll turn on a dime when they think they’re about to be beaten to a pulp.

    525 chars

  26. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Johnny Ramone’s birthday today. Johnny was a pretty famous GOPer, but I think Joey probably felt differently when he wrote these lyrics about the GOP’s patron saint.

    And here’s one for the big orange flaccid dick that runs the House.

    Yesterday was an amazing and glorious day for beisbol. I kinda like the Pirates, but I want Cards to win that series and get beaten by the Dodgers. St. Louis back in the day led MLB in cheap shots against Jackie Robinson, as well as outright racial slurs that would make John Rocker ashamed of himself, if that were remotely possible. I think either LA vs. Tigers or vs. RedSox. I’m finding it hilarious that all the Braves fans are blaming the manager for not inserting the closer in the 8th inning. Hell, they wouldn’t have had the one run lead had not Donnie Baseball used Ronald “the Alien” Bellisario.

    991 chars

  27. Bitter Scribe said on October 8, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    Hey Propsero, I know that sports loyalties are highly personal and eccentric, but you do realize that no one on the field was even alive when Jackie Robinson was playing, right?

    177 chars

  28. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    Ya know, when people point out that PP/ACA Obamacare was enacted by Congress, signed by the President, and validated by the majority paleocon activist SC, they are leaving out another striking bit of information. The House nutcake wing tried 42 or 43 times to repeal the law, while ignoring jobs bills and budgetary concerns. In the wake of that abject failure, they have elected to employ criminal extorionist tactics instead. Add up all of the votes cast for these assholes in Congressional elections, and you get a tiny fraction of the total Congressional votes cast. GOPers love the code word “thugs” for anybody with brown skin. This behavior is a prime example of what “thuggish” really is. Next, they’ll be burning down the Reichstag and recruiting whackjob truckers for a new Kristallnacht. And, yeah, I know truckers have a difficult time economically, but that is because their own chosen political leaders deregulated long haul employers, allowing the bosses to pass the cost of environmental and safety regullations along to the drivers they fired and hired back as subcontractors. And that is a fact Jack. Of course, those same bidnesses got the biggest subsidy in the history of corporate welfare when the USA built the interstate system. So now, they are going to block up the Beltway because scrofulous, pediculous Glenn Beck tells them to.

    1356 chars

  29. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Bitter Scribe: Yeah, but the team represented the moods and opinions of the city exactly at the time. I don’t cut Birmingham any slack for the Church bombing either, nor Selma, for the Edmund Pettus Bridge police riot, and I was around for all of that inhumanity. So, Yep, I despise the Cardinals.

    297 chars

  30. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on October 8, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Julie, I think (and am not going to be accountable for Bachmannian exegesis) that she’s making an Isaiah allusion:

    Draw near, O nations, to hear,
    and give attention, O peoples!
    Let the earth hear, and all that fills it;
    the world, and all that comes from it.
    For the Lord is enraged against all the nations,
    and furious against all their host;
    he has devoted them to destruction, has given them over for slaughter.
    Their slain shall be cast out,
    and the stench of their corpses shall rise;
    the mountains shall flow with their blood.
    All the host of heaven shall rot away,
    and the skies roll up like a scroll.
    All their host shall fall,
    as leaves fall from the vine,
    like leaves falling from the fig tree. (Isaiah 34:1-4, ESV)

    Which Jesus does a callback to in Matthew 21. It’s the “judgment on the nations,” which some of my more conservative brothers and sisters are hot to identify with the indignation du jour. It started with Hal Lindsey in the 70s about the EPA and global winter, and we’ve got it going on now with the government shutdown. Stay tuned for whatever next the prophecies clearly point towards, which is probably going to be an identification of Hillary with the Whore of Babylon in Revelation 17.

    1235 chars

  31. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on October 8, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    Actually, that should have been eisegesis. Exegesis is reading out of the text for meaning, or standard hermeneutic interpretation, while eisegesis is reading INTO it what you want it to say. Aka “Humpty-Dumpty-ism.”

    216 chars

  32. beb said on October 8, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    Bitters, I know that Esqui8re has a long history of touting flesh. They were the original home of the Vargas Girl and promoted other artists (Petty?) after Varga moved on. My point wasn’t that Esquire hawks flesh but that matter of fact political sites like Crooks and Liars have a collection of ads on their page that tout the flesh.

    I see that Bill Moyers has used the shutdown-is-just-another-form-of-secession meme.

    422 chars

  33. brian stouder said on October 8, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    Today at lunch we were discussing this bit of one-L’s hyperbole. I’d have been more likely to think it applied to our world if it was, say, 1944 and humanity was writhing in blood and flames all across the Earth. In a world where the ‘good guys’ firebombed major cities and incinerated their inhabitants, while the bad guys flattened cities and also rounded up specific people (by the millions) for specific murder …in that world, I could believe the sort of end-times yapping that Ms Bachmann seems to be drawn to.

    It strikes me that this totally avoidable, completely manufactured “budget crisis” is the sort of thing that an unchallenged, bored nation does to itself, just to pass the time.

    698 chars

  34. beb said on October 8, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Whore of Babylon – isn’t that Ann Coulter’s current address?

    60 chars

  35. Julie Robinson said on October 8, 2013 at 3:58 pm

    Right, Jeff, but shouldn’t Bachmann say the leaves are falling FROM the fig, not that they are ON the fig? The logic does not apply.

    132 chars

  36. Jolene said on October 8, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    Julie, remember that we are talking about Michelle Bachmann here. I don’t think we should expect too much in the way of logic.

    126 chars

  37. LAMary said on October 8, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    There are a lot of people out there rooting for the end times to come. I believe Ms. Bachmann is one of them and that is one of the many reasons I’m glad she isn’t the president.

    178 chars

  38. Kim said on October 8, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    I usually read NN.C daily and find myself increasingly short on comment time but, man, Cooz. That’s a winner.

    Dorothy, it seems like you just moved but maybe that’s time whizzing past us at the virtual bar and grill.

    219 chars

  39. coozledad said on October 8, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    shouldn’t Bachmann say the leaves are falling FROM the fig, not that they are ON the fig?
    Worst porno ever.

    117 chars

  40. LAMary said on October 8, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    Whenever I hear or read something like that fig is on the leaf thing, that makes no sense at all to me, I think of Firesign Theatre. When they parodied religion they would have sayings like that. Remember the Church of the Presumptuous Assumption?

    248 chars

  41. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on October 8, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    Still laughing at Cooze’s observation, I’ll speculate she’s wanting to evoke “we’re on the brink.” The leaves, which will fall as they are foreordained to do, have not yet fallen. But they will. Oh yes they will. Soon. Soon and very soon. Hah!

    243 chars

  42. Peter said on October 8, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    LA Mary, I remember when they prayed to the Holy Trinitron – Jesus, Maria and Jose.

    That’s the same album where Ben Bland (sponsored by the fine folks at Tudor Nightmare Village) had a nun on as a guest – she said she married God, but got a divorce, and “he gave me the earth, moon, and the sun!”

    299 chars

  43. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    The great Firesign hymn was the infamous RMoney campaign fight song, Marching, marching to shibboleth,

    Choir: We’re marching, marching to Shibboleth,
    With the Eagle and the Sword!
    We’re praising Zion ’til her death,
    Until we meet our last reward!
    Men: Our Lord’s reward!
    Women: Zion! Oh happy Zion!
    O’er wrapp’d, but not detained!
    Men: Lion, f’rocious Lion!
    His beard our mighty mane!
    Women: At First and Main!
    Men: Oh, we;ll go marching, marching to Omaha,
    With the Buckram and the Cord!
    Women: You’ll hear us “boom” our State!
    Men: Ha, ha! As we cross the final ford!
    Women: The flaming Ford!
    Choir: Zion! Oh mighty Zion!
    Your bison now are dust!
    As your cornflakes rise
    “Gainst the rust-red skies,
    Then our blood requires us must
    Go …
    Men: Marching, marching to Shibboleth,
    With the Eagle and the …
    Women: The Buckram and the Cord!
    Men: Sword! Praising Zion ’til her death!
    Women: Ha, ha!
    Men: Until we eat our last reward!
    Women: The flaming Ford!
    Choir: Zion! Oh righteous Zion!
    There is no one to blame!
    For the homespun pies
    ‘Neath the cracking skies
    Shall release the fulsome rain!
    Tenor: Shall release!
    Men: Shall release!
    Soprano: Shall release!
    Women: Shall release!
    Choir: Shall release the vinyl rein!

    1465 chars

  44. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    I believe Pretzeldent W. was referring to the shibboleth hymn when he made one of his most famous and brilliant policy statements,

    We have to make the pie higher.

    172 chars

  45. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    GOPers have swept the top three Shutdown Stupidity Awards for today, by Sweeping the Rene Magritte Total Absurdity trophy, the Nairobi Trio Memorial, and the Kurt Schwitters Palmee d’or for Dada Bullshit. The three awards recognize the utter malevolent absurdity of shutting down Head Start programs all over the USA while deeming the Congressional gymnasium facilites essential government service. The clean sweep was surprising in light of all of the furloughed members of AFSCME that were staying home with their kids instead of taking them to Head Start anyway. These bastards have had it in for Head Start since Raygun days despite the fact that more studies have proved it efficacious than any other government program ever.

    890 chars

  46. ROGirl said on October 8, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    Another southernism to go along with “bless your heart” is “Isn’t that nice?”

    77 chars

  47. Deborah said on October 8, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    But Prospero, don’t you know that headstart is full of brown babies, so they don’t care about that.

    99 chars

  48. Prospero said on October 8, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    ROGirl@46: And then, there is “She don’t sweat much for a big girl.” And, “Like they was raised by wolves.” But, “Bless her heart.” is always an expression of pity over “her” painful stupidity.

    There have been more studies atttempting to discredit Head Start than there ever were Shrubco vote fraud investigations (a big number), and nobody has come close to debunking the program’s results. Anybody that claims to believe in Christianity-based American exceptionalism and wants to stamp out Head Start is a bald-faced whited sepulcher liar and a base hypocrite headed for the Ninth Circle rather than the Rapcha.

    616 chars

  49. Dorothy said on October 8, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    Kim the last time we moved was August 2007, so it’s just over six years.

    72 chars

  50. Kim said on October 8, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    Like I said – whizzzzzzzzzzz!

    29 chars

  51. Minnie said on October 8, 2013 at 10:22 pm

    Thanks, I needed this on day eight – Firesign, Coozledad, eisegesis, Southern obliquity, and everything.

    104 chars

  52. basset said on October 8, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    “Sorry dear, not tonight, I’m on the fig.”

    42 chars