Human relations.

I don’t feel entirely cool about Brendan Eich stepping down as CEO of Mozilla, over his financial support of California’s Prop 8 — the anti-gay marriage proposal — in 2008. But I am entirely astonished by what it took to topple him: An announced boycott by a dating service? And not even

As always, it depends on what you’re selling. Anti-gay attitudes don’t go over well in Silicon Valley, or any of the other Silicons out there. I know a lot of those guys are Republicans or libertarians or whatever, but they’re still young, and for young people, this is the way it’s going to be.

If you work for Hobby Lobby, they have their own way of doing things. If you work for the Catholic church, ditto. And while I hate the idea of all of us retreating to these walled-off camps, part of it is thinking that isn’t this what Chick-fil-A was about, and wasn’t the commentary then pretty much 180 degrees from what it is today?

I’d have continued to use Firefox no matter what. You can’t live your life that way, although I’ve done a boycott or two in the past, so it’s easy to understand the impulse.

This guy fell way too easily, though; something more has to be going on. At the moment, I’m catching up on last season’s “Mad Men” episodes and someone said, “If you wait patiently by the river, the body of your enemy will float by.” And someday you will, too.

Bloggage for a weekend?

Zumba for orthodox Jewish women. They only call it Jewmba when it uses Jewish music.

Yesterday was Doris Day’s 90th birthday. Here’s a great column about her and Rock Hudson, by James Wolcott. From some years back, still most excellent.

This is insane: A driver hits a boy who walked out in front of his car, stops to help and is beaten for his concern. The next driver won’t stop.

The weekend is here. Hallelujah.

Posted at 12:30 am in Current events, Detroit life |

84 responses to “Human relations.”

  1. alex said on April 4, 2014 at 5:25 am

    Having an insomnia kind of night. CPAP is suffocating me.

    When I lived in Chicago, a couple of white people who hit a black pedestrian on the south side got the living shit beaten out of them. Unlike the Chicago media, which made it a story about racial animism run amok, the Detroit story is quite restrained as to speculation about the motive.

    Oh, Rock and Doris. I don’t know how I or anyone ever suffered through the slow pacing of movies of that era. I always suspected that Doris was a bit more flinty and worldly wise than the characters she portrayed. That was just the nature of the competitive world of showbiz. So Rock Hudson came from the same name generator that gave us Tab Hunter. Who would have foreseen such horrific career exits for either, what with Tab Hunter playing Divine’s love interest in a John Waters flick and Rock Hudson dying as a pariah?

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  2. Peter said on April 4, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Whoa, that is eerie. Two days ago at the office we were wondering if Doris Day is still alive….

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  3. Scout said on April 4, 2014 at 9:32 am

    @ Peter – and just yesterday, while signing our estate docs at our lawyer’s office, the conversation somehow turned to the movie Gaslight which led to a mention of Doris Day. Synchronicity!

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  4. Bob (not Greene) said on April 4, 2014 at 10:00 am

    And if anyone wants to send Doris a birthday card (her 90th birthday was yesterday), you can send it here: She’s in the book. No phone number, but an address. After checking Google Maps, doesn’t look like a home address. Could just be a mailing address.

    It’s odd about older celebs, you can find their home numbers in the phone book. I remember when Artie Shaw was still alive, just for the hell of it I looked him up in the online white pages and there was his home phone number and address. I thought about calling him, but I figured he would just yell at me for being an idiot. He was always known for being kind of a prickly character. I kind of found Vic Damone’s number that way too, when I was researching something. He wasn’t in the phone book, but his wife was. I still have a voice mail when from when he called me back. He was a very nice guy, who ended up inviting me to dinner at his restaurant in Palm Beach. Of course, I’ll never have the occasion to go to Palm Beach, and maybe he figured that, but it was still pretty cool.

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  5. Julie Robinson said on April 4, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Oh great, now I’m gonna have Que Sera, Sera in my head all day.

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  6. brian stouder said on April 4, 2014 at 10:15 am

    Have patience with me – I am not getting the meaning of this line of reasoning:

    If you work for Hobby Lobby, they have their own way of doing things. If you work for the Catholic church, ditto. And while I hate the idea of all of us retreating to these walled-off camps, part of it is thinking that isn’t this what Chick-fil-A was about, and wasn’t the commentary then pretty much 180 degrees from what it is today?

    I agree that this IS of a piece with what Chick-Fil-A was about, and indeed – I’d sooner eat mud off the street than spend one thin dime in that place – because they (through their marketing) have walled themselves off from me.

    The commentary – it seems to me – is leeward and not windward…but again, I understand that our captain probably made a great point that escaped me entirely

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  7. nancy said on April 4, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Here’s what I’m saying, Brian: In general, and not in all cases, I try not to participate in boycotts. I did avoid BP stations during the spill, but only because it gave me the one bit of satisfaction I could glean out of that awful situation. I certainly won’t patronize Hobby Lobby, but I didn’t go there before, so who cares?

    But whenever possible, I try to be better than my enemy. And I try to acknowledge that if you try to make every buying decision based on whether you approve of the people selling it, you’ll quickly be reduced to a begging bowl and a rough brown cloak.

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  8. jcburns said on April 4, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Somehow I don’t think of it as “participating in boycotts” when I don’t choose to spend money at places run by weasels. It’s something closer to shopping where I’m appreciated. And weaseldom can manifest itself in business practices or in the public pronouncements of upper management. Weaseldom all the same.

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  9. Kath said on April 4, 2014 at 10:39 am

    I think the issue with Mozilla is recruiting. The competition to attract those super talented computer software engineers who will develop the next big thing is fierce. A CEO with a history of anti-gay political donations is enough to tip the balance in favor of accepting Google’s offer. While the consumer market may seem about evenly split, the 20 somethings that the tech companies are seeking to recruit are solidly in the gay camp.

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  10. Sue said on April 4, 2014 at 10:43 am

    I am a well-meaning boycotter but it’s hard to keep up. I’ve been feeling rather Portlandia-ish lately about it, as I recently added Kellogg’s to the list (labor lockout in Memphis) and realized I am at the point where I am in need of an actual, physical list. There are so many companies in need of my high dudgeon these days, it seems.
    So, speaking of companies and Mad Men etc., did anyone see the article in the last couple of days that mentioned that cereal companies have their characters looking down (9.6 degrees is the optimum downward angle, apparently), the better to make EYE CONTACT with any kids walking down the cereal aisle with mom or dad? I knew these marketing folks were sneaky thinkers, but this is just creepy.

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  11. coozledad said on April 4, 2014 at 11:00 am

    One thing the Eich firing demonstrates is the need for Republicans to move on to the next big hate. They’ll always have racism to suck dollars from, but even that’s diminished slightly. Anti-immigrant fury has a tendency to bite corporations in the ass harder than they like. so there’s going to be a gradual backing off on that, too.

    Muslims, atheists and Jews are perennial boogeymen, and that’s going to stay. It’s the soup bone of the party.

    If you’re an umbrella hate group running out of groups to hate, you cut to the chase and cut out the vote. That’s where the Republican money is going now.

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  12. john not mccain said on April 4, 2014 at 11:12 am

    I feel like the best way to respect someone’s genuinely held religious belief that gay people are evil is to refuse to force them to handle my evil gay money. It’s just common courtesy!

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  13. Kirk said on April 4, 2014 at 11:21 am

    And the other day at work, as we were discussing WLW’s gradual slide from being one of the nation’s most important radio stations to 50,000 watts of right-wing bullshit, I pointed out that Doris Day’s show-biz career got rolling there.

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  14. brian stouder said on April 4, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Kirk – I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE WLW, back in the days when I was a huge Reds fan, and had a button set for them* in my car.

    Chick-Fil-A did an inside-out boycott, touting their intolerance and getting people to specifically eat there as a political statement, which really repelled me. As it is, I feel that if I ever stop there, THAT’s a political statement – and my car will be beside vehicles with pro-NRA/Duck Dynasty/anti-Obama propaganda.

    Hobby Lobby also seems to be gently tacking toward shop-here-as-a-political-statement, which is off-putting…but Pam is a scrap-booker and loves that place, and I have less power in her domain than the Wicked Witch of the West had in Munchkinland, so there’s that.

    I guess the extent of my boycotting is pretty much C-F-A (which does offer good French fries).

    *Nobody under the age of 30 will understand that one

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  15. Bitter Scribe said on April 4, 2014 at 11:36 am, an offshoot of the great Wonkette, had what I think is the best take on the Firefox CEO thing:

    [G]uess what, suckas: this is exactly how the marketplace works. If you bring enough muscle to bear, you can get companies to do what you want. Right now, the gays are veritable oiled masses of muscle and they can push companies around like weaklings on the beach. Sorry, haters, but that’s how it is going to be from now on out.

    Exactly right. The “if you don’t like it, get another job” crowd can have a little taste of what life is like on the other side of that barrier.

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  16. Icarus said on April 4, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    @brian Stouder: thanks. I didn’t understand what our captain was saying either.

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  17. Basset said on April 4, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    I remember radio buttons, had em set for WLS Chicago, WATT Cadillac Mi, and WRVA Richmond in my 74 VW Beetle… those old enough might also recall listening to distant AM stations “on the skip” late at night.

    WLW has always been technically adventurous – in the late 30s they ran a half-million-watt transmitter (limit now is 50,000, was then too but they got special permission) and they had regular daytime listeners in Hawaii, signal near the transmitter was so strong that farmers were picking it up on iron bedsteads and their house lights wouldn’t go completely off at night.

    WLW and WSM Nashville also have the only surviving “diamond” towers:

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  18. Deborah said on April 4, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    I loved watching Doris Day movies when I was a kid. My Mother-in-law who is going to be 95 the end of this month, got told a lot that she looked just like Doris Day. I would have thought that DD was older than 90.

    Brian, is there a Michael’s in FW? Your wife could do her scrapbook shopping there. There’s a Hobby Lobby in Santa Fe and I have bought things there in the past, but no more. Whenever I went there it seemed like Little Bird and I were about the only ones in the store, so I hope business is even worse now.

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  19. coozledad said on April 4, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    I hope there’s a huge fundagelical exodus deep up the ass end of Russia. There’s plenty of space for them there, and they can help finish the ruination of that whitey hellhole. It’s troubling to think of them with nukes, but the protestants and eastern orthodox would be landscaping the fields and streets with corpses before you could say Apostle’s Creed.

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  20. Deborah said on April 4, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    It’s hard for me to admit this but W has an exhibit of portraits of world leaders and I actually think they are not half bad.

    They kind of remind me of the work of Alex Katz

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  21. Scout said on April 4, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    Just the other day on facebook, a progressive, thoughtful, thinking friend posted a positive story about her experience in obtaining a better and more affordable policy due to Obamacare. It unleashed a whole flying monkey squadron of anti-Obamacare, pro Hobby Lobby and pro-Chik-Fil-A commenters. One guy actually said this, ‘suck it libs, companies like CFA are what make America so great.’ In other words, f*ck healthcare and gimme more greasy fried junk food! Irony is alive and well.

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  22. brian stouder said on April 4, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    Pam definitely patronizes our Michaels more than Hobby Lobby, as they’re closer to us.

    But Hobby Lobby has other stuff (apparently) – and so they’re ‘in the rotation’.

    When I accompany her, she traditionally heads off to the scrap-booky stuff, and I head for the models and toys, which are always alluring – for whatever reason.

    One thing they both have, is lots of stuff that purposely looks like interesting junk. Faux gas station signs, car maker logos, and metallic art – all aged and appropriately grungy.

    I imagine that this stuff ends up in basement bars all across suburbia

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  23. MichaelG said on April 4, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    Cars still have radio buttons. Most of them. I’ve rented tons of them over the years. My 2011 Honda has radio buttons.

    I’ve never been to Chick-Fil-A. I don’t think there are any in our area. I saw a Hobby Lobby store once but have never been inside.

    That’s the thing about boycotts. Years ago I realized that I could end up boycotting every business around. And it would be a meaningless gesture. The business would never miss me. A specific and focused boycott would be a different animal.

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  24. Dexter said on April 4, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    MichaelG, I remember the Shell Oil boycotts because it is Dutch-owned, and we were implored to buy American, such as marathon.
    A very small dent indeed.

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  25. Dave said on April 4, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    It’s hard to boycott places because of the reasons stated. We boycotted Scott’s grocery in Fort Wayne for years after they dismissed our carryout son for what we thought were ridiculous reasons. Told the manager we couldn’t hurt their grocery business but we wouldn’t be back and we didn’t go, until Kroger’s bought them out.

    Boycotted all things Anheuser-Busch after the strike we had in 1978 on the Norfolk and Western. August III was on the board of directors and he was quoted in many anti-labor statements, being thirty-six years ago, can’t say what they were now but it was along the lines of, “let ’em starve”.

    Didn’t boycott BP, those folks running the local stations had no control over what their company had done. My boycotts didn’t seem to hurt Scott’s or AB, either. It’s only the personal satisfaction you get from not patronizing them.

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  26. Sherri said on April 4, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    I used to listen to Reds games at night on WLW, down in Tennessee. Of course, I didn’t have to wait for nighttime to listen to WSM, not that I cared. My parents listened to WSM regularly.

    Too many boycotts to keep up with. I don’t go to Hobby Lobby or CFA, because there aren’t any where I live. I just don’t like shopping in Walmart more than I’m making a political statement. I prefer to make my political statements more directly.

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  27. mark said on April 4, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    Sort of an update…

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  28. Dorothy said on April 4, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    When we were searching for a frame for a puzzle we’d finished, glued and wanted to display, the coupon for Hobby Lobby in the paper was too good to pass up. They also have a line of yarn that is their own brand and it makes lovely baby afghans in a neutral color. I just made sure to have my Obama shirt on when I went in, and carried my coat on my arm. It might not meant a bit of difference to the employees, but it made me feel a little better.

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  29. coozledad said on April 4, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    How to reinstitute campaign finance reform. Take the thieving bastards’ money away from them. Eisenhower tax rates should do it.

    It’s already in the constitution, unless we let the Republicans wipe their asses on it some more.

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  30. Minnie said on April 4, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    I don’t know if it strikes a blow against oppression, but it makes me feel better not to fund obviously right wing and fundy businesses. I boycotted grapes (but certainly not wine) back in the late ’60s, early ’70s, lettuce as well. Around the same time orange growers picked homophobe Anita Bryant to speak for them, so I quit drinking orange juice. Forty years later I still have no taste for that beverage. Neither CFA nor Cracker Barrel has a draw, and, sadly there are no Hobby Lobby stores to refuse to frequent, but this suburbanite does need stuff to hold the house together. Being as there are no home-grown hardware stores here, and my choice is between despicable Home Depot and slightly less objectionable Lowe’s. It is a puzzlement.

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  31. coozledad said on April 4, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    As one of the commenters at alicublog points out, ever since the Roberts court decided corporations have more personhood than actual people, Republicans have had an especially difficult time with corporationspersons behaving in a way in which they disapprove. It’s similar to the free market they fellate until it rolls them over and does them up the ass.

    Basically your Republican is unable to live and breathe without a great deal of coddling and deference, even in a world of his own making.

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  32. Suzanne said on April 4, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    I rarely go to Hobby Lobby. I admired that they aren’t open on Sunday, but then I went in a few years ago in August (AUGUST!) and the place was full of Cheap Chinese-made Christmas crap all over the place. So, who exactly then is contributing to the commercialization & cheapening of Christmas??

    I pretty much refuse to step into the store any more.

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  33. Charlotte said on April 4, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    Blue day in our household — had to put my beloved Owen-dog down this morning. No dogs for the first time in 14 years. It’s been a hard winter — we lost both dogs and an elderly cat, several other folks I know have had older dogs that just didn’t make it. A wee piece I wrote on tumblr, with pics:

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  34. mark said on April 4, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    A nice tribute, Charlotte. My condolences to you.

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  35. Judybusy said on April 4, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    Ah Charlotte, I’m so sorry to hear about all of your beloveds passing on. Owen was so pretty, if one can say that about a boy dog. What a sad way to begin the year. It’s amazing, too, how long that grief stays. On Sunday I was nestled with the dog, reminiscing about my cat who died November 2012, and got all teary. They are part of us.

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  36. Julie Robinson said on April 4, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Hugs to you, Charlotte. You gave him a happy and long life and I hope that will be consolation for you, in the midst of your tears.

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  37. MarkH said on April 4, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    Must say I’m surprised at the silence of the resident Hoosier contingent on the exploits of Senator Dan. Tweeted a claim that the Russians surreptitiously scheduled him into the wrong Senate hearing room. He was kidding, right?,0,6756047.story

    Charlotte, my condolences as well. That’s a huge loss of companionship in such a short time. RIP.

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  38. Colleen said on April 4, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    My condolences to you, Charlotte. It’s hard to lose a part of the family.

    I am boycotting Lowe’s because of a customer service blunder on their part about 15 years ago. I had just returned from a trip during which my purse got swiped, so I didn’t have my ATM card or any credit cards. A big snow was coming and I went there to buy a snow shovel. I think the total bill came to something around 25 bucks. They wouldn’t let me use a passport for my ID when writing the check. For 25 dollars. A passport. The trump card of identification. So I wrote a letter and got a stupid response from the store and have since completed numerous projects on my home without ever spending a cent at Lowe’s. Doesn’t matter to them. Makes me feel better.

    I LOVE Doris Day. I think she is underrated and underappreciated as both an actress and singer. Check out “Love Me or Leave Me” to see her acting at its finest.

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  39. Deborah said on April 4, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    Charlotte, that was quite touching, sorry for your multiple losses. It made me feel guilty too, because this morning my 16 year old cat was a royal pill and I had completely had it with her over the top attempts to get my attention, she would not stop even after I had showered her with cuddling and petting. I tried to have a phone conversation and she wailed through all of it. So I resorted to opening the closet with the vacuum cleaner in it. She is freaking scared of the vacuum cleaner and that kind of calmed her down. She’s 16 for God’s sake, I can be nice to her for whatever time we’ve got left together.

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  40. Heather said on April 4, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Sorry to hear about Owen and all your pet losses, Charlotte. I am dealing with a sick cat over here–the vet thinks it might be leukemia or some other bone marrow disease. With all of the tests and waiting, I’ve been on the edge of tears for weeks. He’s not that old, either–only about nine or so. I once told a friend that losing a pet was traumatic but not like losing a person, but I’m not sure I was right about that.

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  41. Sue said on April 4, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    Charlotte, my sincere condolences. Just went down that road last month.
    Deborah, I just lost (last month, as noted above) a cat who began behaving strangely about 4 months ago – fearful and disoriented and finally just not there anymore, with of course – of course – stretches of normalcy in between, just enough to get our hopes up. We never found out what it was (he had always had neurological issues), he was only nine, but one of the things I learned as this was going on is that older cats do experience dementia and ‘kitty alzheimers’. The symptoms include increased vocalization, anxiety and an inability to normally relate to others. So, I wanted to share that ‘thing that I learned on the way to other things’ in case you want to check it out.
    RIP Callaway/Evil One/Toasty Boy. Losing him was the most crushing pet loss I’ve ever been through, and that is really saying something.

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  42. brian stouder said on April 4, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    I really enjoyed the old Doris/Rock column that Nancy linked to; but I have one question.

    As Hudson got older, he became almost a poignant figure on the cruising scene. In Patrick Gale’s biography of the gay writer Armistead Maupin, Hudson is recorded venturing into one San Francisco leather bar in a red alpaca sweater, “looking like a tourist from the Midwest.” During a make-out session with Rock, Maupin was amazed when Hudson pulled out a popper case initialed R.H. “He had a personalized Rock Hudson popper case! And I completely lost my hard-on.”

    Was the wet-blanket because the ‘popper case’ was initialed “RH” – or was the turn-off the popper case itself? and – honestly – what the heck is a “popper case”?

    Charlotte – losing pets is no fun at all. On the brighter side, it’s a good excuse to go to the pound and pick out a new kitty (or two!)

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  43. Minnie said on April 4, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    Charlotte, so sorry about your year of loss. Owen – and the other pets – were very lucky to be part of your family.

    Deborah, second Sue on the feline dementia issue. Perhaps your vet can offer ways to lessen your cats anxiety.

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  44. coozledad said on April 4, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    brian stouder: poppers Amyl nitrate ampules you huff to relax blood vessels. They were initially developed for use for people who suffered from angina or cyanide poisoning, but they also produce a mild euphoria and enhance sexual stimulation.

    A friend of mine used to bring them and share them around the lunch table in high school. He was gay, but he primarily used them for the mild buzz. I thought at the time it might be as hazardous as sniffing glue, especially since they can leave you with an ugly headache, but the British medical association says their use is relatively harmless, and rates their danger below cigarettes or alcohol.

    They definitely smell like a solvent that would rot your brain. They’ve been superseded in cardiac medicine by nitroglycerine ampules.

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  45. brian stouder said on April 4, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    You could have given me 10 guesses, and I’d never have come up with that!…and when I put Uncle Google on the case, he was limp

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  46. Deborah said on April 4, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    Armistead Maupin lives in Santa Fe now, he moved from San Francisco. He’s in the local paper arts section all the time. I’ve never read anything he’s written but since I’ve been reading so much about him lately, I’m curious.

    I’ve known my cat has anxiety problems, I’ve taken her to the vet about it but nothing seems to be done for it. She started getting this way after her sister had to be put down and it has gotten worse. She needs my attention constantly now.

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  47. MichaelG said on April 4, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    I’m sorry for your losses, Charlotte. That was a very moving tribute. The horrible thing about pets is outliving them.

    I always liked Doris Day. She was a very fine singer before she got into the movies.

    I read Tales of the City on a day by day basis when it was first serialized by the Chron. It was quite good as I recall.

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  48. alex said on April 4, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    I seem to recall amyl nitrate was illegal and what was in circulation was a less potent ripoff commercially bottled and barely legal. Amyl nitrite maybe? It could be found behind the counter at disreputable establishments everywhere. It smelled like cooking sherry with a hint of lacquer thinner, and that might even be what it was.

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  49. coozledad said on April 4, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    alex: I can’t remember if it’s the same stuff that was sold under the trade name “Locker Room”. It did smell like something that might be used to overpower a laundry cart full of shitty towels, but I still thought it was an odd branding choice.

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  50. Deborah said on April 4, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    I just remembered that I have some calming drops for my cat that I got through the vet for when I was taking her to Santa Fe from Chicago on a plane. I gave some to her in her food just now to see if they might make a difference. Hard to say, so far.

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  51. Minnie said on April 4, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Deborah, here’s an ASPCA link on cat behavioral problems, medicines, and behavior modification. Hope something there makes a difference for you and your furry friend.

    Or you could set her up with some amys.

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  52. Dexter said on April 4, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    So sad for you Charlotte. Better days ahead.

    In Vietnam we were standing down in our hootches and a fellow soldier had gotten some amyl nitrite capsules…he’d pinch or crack them open somehow and the guys would inhale quickly and someone else would take a quick hit and then it was gone. I was cajoled, so I took a hit…I thought I was dead. My heart about exploded and everything sped up and it was so intense I could not stand it. As I recall it lasted about 20 seconds, and I was more scared for my life than any time but for that hard half-a-crash plane incident in the monsoon season. I never saw them again over there, and who knows how that dude ever got a hold on them in the first place.

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  53. alex said on April 4, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    Cooz, Locker Room was one of them. They called it that either because it smelled like butt or because it was a staple of refreshment in places like unofficial bath houses known as Bally’s.

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  54. MichaelG said on April 4, 2014 at 11:53 pm

    Dexter, didn’t the Army have amyl nitrate around as a counter to some chemical warfare agent or other? I vaguely remember them demonstrating poppers in training.

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  55. Crazycatlady said on April 5, 2014 at 12:35 am

    We live a few short blocks from the scene of that horrible incident with the man who hit the boy, and after trying to help was beaten severely. There was also that day a rash of carjackings close to here. I don’t know. I’m fearful but also resigned to the fact we can’t leave and what will be, will be. I was also scared when our two neighbors across the street were murdered. That fear has faded, but always in the back of my mind. I also work nights, so I get home after midnight most nights. I’d say I’m hyper vigilant before getting out of my car. I sometimes wonder when ‘it’ will happen, not if. I often think about getting a gun, but I just don’t think it will make me safe.

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  56. Dexter said on April 5, 2014 at 1:43 am

    MichaelG: As a medic I was never trained for the usage of amyl nitrite or amyl nitrate, so I don’t know. Medics did carry through-the-clothes morphine syringes and back in the Quonset Hut dispensary there were these anti-phallactic quick-stick shots too…as I recall those were for anyone who had bad reactions to bad food or nuts or maybe insect or spider bites…I never had to use those. There were a few times I had to use the morphine on guys as you will remember yourself.

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  57. Deborah said on April 5, 2014 at 9:01 am

    Connie, aren’t you from Holland, MI? There’s a new Errol Morris film coming out, called Holland Michigan, starring Bryan Cranston and Naomi Watts:

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  58. Connie said on April 5, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Interesting. Yes I am. And Tulip Time in the movie? We will see Dutch costumes! I will have to get mine out of the back of the closet if this movie makes them cool.

    Some scenes from Perdition were filmed in Holland. The beach house at the end was built on a beach north of Holland. It’s style and location bore no resemblance to any real beach houses.

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  59. Deborah said on April 5, 2014 at 9:58 am

    Coincidentally on Facebook Nancy has a link to a Bridge story about the Holland, Michigan movie

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  60. beb said on April 5, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Dexter @56: Was this auto-correct: anti-phallactic. Gives rise to the image of medics administering drugs to soldiers with raging boners… I had to look it up myself – anaphylaxis.

    Condolences to Charlotte. We had to put down one of our cats lat year and it’s always such a painful thing. Oddly, Sue’s description of the cat she had to put done exactly described our cat. It had gotten fearful of others, disoriented, kept to itself and slept all the time. And it was only about 9. It’s eyes never closed after death so my last memory of her was a reproachful stare.

    Atrois posted this link a couple days ago. I only looked at it tooday. Sex education as far as it goes in Mississippi. The teacher unwrapped a Peppermint Pattie and hannds it to the class to pass around. Afterwards they look at now soiled and nasty the pattie and the teacher tells them that’s what it’s like when girls have sex.

    The punchline is this “But later Johnson got a call from someone who had attended the board meeting — telling him that people who have sex before marriage don’t go to heaven. The board voted for abstinence-only.”

    Honest to God, where do they find such people?

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  61. Charlotte said on April 5, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Thanks everyone — it’s a little weird around here without them, but there are baby chickens, and a new kitty, and bulbs starting to come up in the yard. And with my family history, it often feels like a triumph when my critters die of old age, as one is supposed to … so, we’ll see what pets the universe sends my way next.

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  62. LAMary said on April 5, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    If you are a courteous driver and you leave parking spaces in better condition than you found them, you will enjoy the reward of Doris Day Parking.

    I love Doris Day movies and I’m not even sure why. On the other hand, avoid the old Doris Day show from the late sixties. It’s really bad and it surfaces occasionally on the TV channels that run old shows for boomers.

    My sympathy, Charlotte. It’s an awful feeling to lose such a dear friend.

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  63. Deborah said on April 5, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    LA Mary, we always called that princess parking but from now on it will be Doris Day parking. I agree, the TV show was awful.

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  64. brian stouder said on April 5, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    Mary, Nancy’s Doris Day link explores precisely that – what made the movies so good. And the awful TV series? Ms Day had a horrible, lying, money-grubbing husband, who tied her into that. One suspects that a pretty good book could be written about that one thing – with a strong bit of history regarding women’s rights – especially regarding women that you would think WOULD have been more empowered than in fact they were.

    And I forgot to say, a week or so ago, that Nancy’s link to the Errol Morris extended essay on The Interminable, Everlasting Lincolns was also superb

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  65. Judybusy said on April 5, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    In Brazil, there’s soemthing called lanca perfume, which is ethyl chloride. I did it a few times as an exchange student–the upper class kids I was hanging out with didn’t drink a lot, but we sometimes did lanca perfume. There was even a hit song about it by a singer named Rita Lee. I can still recall the chorus tune after 30 years….Thank goodness I didn’t suffer any of the dangerous effects from it!

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  66. alex said on April 5, 2014 at 7:25 pm

    My partner calls that Rock Star Parking. I’ve always just called it Good Parking Karma. And I truly believe its payback for being a polite driver, letting people change lanes or pull out of driveways or parking lots, and offering jumper cables.

    “The Doris Day Show,” I learned in a college comparative lit class on film, was shot in soft focus so that its aging star could try to pass for a nubile young thing more like Marlo Thomas’ “That Girl,” but nobody was buying it. It was a showcase for Chrysler products and she was always rockin’ a new ‘Cuda, a youthful car that didn’t do a thing to change her frumpy image. Chad Everett in big sideburns playing a young hospital intern also drove a ‘Cuda, which seemed to fit him a little better.

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  67. MarkH said on April 5, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    I stumbled across a really cool site a few months ago, “The Author’s Road”. Lots of information on a number of writers including video interviews.

    Charlotte, a while back we were discussing Jim Harrison and you mentioned that he had become “a little rough”. We had no idea.

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  68. MarkH said on April 5, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    Alex, not just the TV series. If you look at Doris day’s last five feature films up through her retirement in 1968, you clearly see the soft focus in most of her scenes, especially close-ups. It is unteresting that as unwatchable as it was for all but the most die-hard fans, that CBS TV show lasted five full seasons, ’69-’73. Martin Melcher was a shit of the first order, all but bankrupting her toward the end their 17 year marriage. She didn’t find out much of this until he croaked in April of ’68. She had no idea he had signed her to the CBS TV contract until then. It was a desperation move on his part due to her finances and she apparently agreed. She honored the contract she might have been able to get out of. AND, Day had no idea she had been at the top of the list for the role of Mrs. Robinson in ‘The Graduate’. The producers sent the offer and the book to Melcher who found it vile and rejected it without telling her. Who knows what might have happened to her career at that point.

    I agree with LAMary, some of her films are quite good. Especially Love Me or Leave Me, where she held her own with James Cagney, who allowed her top billing, and the delightful Teacher’s Pet with Clark Gable and Gig Young. The treatment of journalism in that film would appeal to some of you.

    Lots of good info in this Vanity Fair exerpt from her biography in 2008.

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  69. LAMary said on April 5, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    There was one really bad one with Richard Harris, who had to be considerably younger than Doris. It was all go-go boots and bell bottoms and it was ridiculous. The TV show had Denver Pyle playing Doris’ father and I think he was actually younger than she was.

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  70. alex said on April 6, 2014 at 1:59 am

    It’s quite something to contemplate Doris in the upskirt garter-snapping shot that Anne Bancroft is best remembered for. Or the full frontal come-on scene that was so interspliced with rapid back and forth cuts that it could appear unedited on network TV in prime time. (So it was explained in that same comp lit class, where they showed it frame by frame. Shocked, shocked I tell you.) I don’t think Doris Day’s clear, mellifluous pipes would have done justice to the line “I’m an alcoholic,” rendered so perfectly in the croaky two-pack-a-day voice Bancroft gave it. She looked and acted the part of a 1968 social x-ray and was probably six sheets to the wind while filming those scenes.

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  71. Dexter said on April 6, 2014 at 3:22 am

    beb, anaphylaxis is indeed correct. Somewhere along the line auto-correct tried to embarrass me. Thanks for the catch.

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  72. MarkH said on April 6, 2014 at 4:02 am

    Alex, I was thinking the same thing about Doris in those rapid fire nude shots instead of Anne Bancroft. Especially after reading in that article I linked how the man she took up with after the TV series ended described her, at 53, as having “the most beautiful body I had ever seen”. I wouldn’t bet that Bancroft tied one on to pull off anything in that movie, Alex. She was a hell of an actress. But, I always had a hard time accepting that, as a world-weary alcoholic “1968 social x-ray”, Bancroft would have gone after Ben, or that he would respond to her. In that role, Day might have shown a more vulnerable desperation, coupled with the right amount of innocence that would have had Ben more believable in responding to Mrs. Robinson.

    It was ‘Caprice’, LAMary and it was almost Doris Day caricature. Surprising choice for Harris for sure.

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  73. alex said on April 6, 2014 at 8:47 am

    Ah, yes, Caprice — a silly caper that had Get Smart-ish overtones, I seem to recall. Doris was a spy working in the cosmetics industry and was deployed to steal the secret formulations of her employer’s competitors. In particular, I remember a scene where she’s stalking a woman to get a lock of hair with product on it so she can take it back to the lab for analysis. The stalkee is lounging poolside at a southern California manse and just as Doris is about to snip and run, the guard dogs come running and the sprinkler system goes off. Slapstick comedy ensues. Amazing the things that come back to my moth-eaten brain. Doris’ character had dual identities — Felicia Foster, which was her assumed name, and Phillipa Fowler, which was her real one. Now, if I could just find my keys…

    In the ’80s I dated a guy who was a Doris Day fan and memorabilia collector who knew all of her music and films inside and out and could tell back stories galore. He treated me one time to what he said was her only major box office dud, an early ’60s flick entitled “Jumbo,” about a circus family in financial straits, Jumbo being their trained elephant and sole financial asset who was about to go on the auction block until Doris came up with a get-rich-quick scheme to save the family’s beloved pachyderm. It was a saccharine-sweet musical with pretty unmemorable music.

    The only other movie of hers that I found memorable was “Pillow Talk,” where she shared party line telephone service with Rock Hudson and, if memory serves, she began dating him unaware that he was the inconsiderate jerk she was always fighting with over listening in and interrupting.

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  74. alex said on April 6, 2014 at 9:00 am

    Oh, and a lost train of thought…

    I didn’t find it implausible that Mrs. Robinson would be drawn to Ben or vice versa. Young guy who hasn’t had his first taste of nookie. Bored housewife who isn’t getting any dick anymore. Happens all the time. Less believable is that boy becomes an item with bored housewife’s daughter and kidnaps her from her own wedding.

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  75. coozledad said on April 6, 2014 at 11:24 am

    I think the most improbable thing is that Mike Nichols would go on to make ‘Wolf’ with Jack Nicholson. There are so many things wrong about that film. The biggest thing wrong is its demonstration of what a cheesy suckball of an actor Jack Nicholson could be without a director’s foot up his ass.

    alex: I wonder if part of the appeal of The Graduate is its comic treatment of the wandering Jew come to town to bone the ladies and defile the blood. Since Hollywood only does remakes now, they ought to do a remake where an NBA draft pick winds up shagging a half-term governor.

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  76. coozledad said on April 6, 2014 at 11:28 am

    And her daughter, uh Crystal.

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  77. Charlotte said on April 6, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    Hi MarkH — I met that Author’s Road guy while watching the Pine Creek fire from the Trail Creek dumpsters (well there’s a Montana sentence!). You should check out the one he did with my dear friend Jim Fergus — it’s lovely. Seems like a decent guy, using his retirement to drive around and film interviews with his literary heroes.

    I saw Harrison and Peter Matthiessen briefly on the street last summer and I never would have guessed that Peter would go first. Lovely lovely man. Used to come out here to fish every summer, and I was lucky enough to have dinner with him once or twice. Sounds like he went with his characteristic grace …

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  78. brian stouder said on April 6, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Well, from the early 1980’s forward, I thought The Graduate was practically a documentary.

    Someday over an icy-cold Diet Pepsi, I’ll tell you the story

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  79. MarkH said on April 6, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    Alex, to be more clear, it wasn’t the premise I had a hard time with. It was the actress called upon to execute it. My vision of how Doris would have played it is what would have made it work for me over Anne Bancroft. Don’t get me wrong, I love the film as it is. The red Alfa Duetto helps things a LOT.

    Speaking of that Alfa, a few weeks back we had a transgender discussion here. I have a transgender story involving one of the Alfas used in the film. When I have a block of time I’ll pass it along. No icy cold Diet Pepsis required. 🙂

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  80. Deborah said on April 6, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    Virtual ice cold diet Pepsi’s all around. I can’t wait to hear both Brian’s and MarkH’s stories.

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  81. brian stouder said on April 6, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    Short version:

    Setting: summer – 1981; girlfriend’s suburban home, beside their built-in pool. Girlfriend’s mom had major (major) rackage, and generally wore fairly revealing swim-wear. In those days, I thought she was OLD, but looking back, she was just the other side of 40, and majorly hot.

    Girlfriend’s sisters were all exceptionally hot, too – and her dad was a very (very) well-paid executive, 10 years older than his wife (he was all the way into his 50’s!!), and almost always away from home.

    One of the other fellows, who might have been 20 years old – but not 21, because he couldn’t buy the beer that he would drink there (and who worked at the same supermarket where I worked) hung around there more than anyone, and was NOT one of the beaus of the sisters…it was accepted he was a friend of ‘mom’ (who he referred to by her first name)…I never really believed that he was doing ‘mom’, until I learned (unequivocally!) that he did indeed fill needs and gaps.

    In point of fact, I think ‘mom’ was all that the 20-year old could possibly handle, which in hindsight sort of explains why dad put up with that state of affairs (so to speak).

    But – of course – the 20 year old REALLY liked the oldest sister, who he would never, ever win over. Plus, he could never really be anything more than mom’s pool boy, being as how he made essentially no money!

    And therefore, the movie The Graduate seemed to me to be practically non-fiction!

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  82. alex said on April 6, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    I was sort of bummed when Carly Simon wrote a tell-all about her mother fucking the pool boy and how it was the inspiration for this song.

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  83. Deborah said on April 7, 2014 at 12:27 am

    Mickey Rooney died, age 93, again I would have thought he would be older than that. My mother-in-law will be 95 the end of this month and I would have thought he was way older than her.

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  84. Dexter said on April 7, 2014 at 12:38 am

    I remember after “The Last Picture Show” in which the incredibly hot and juicy “Jace” , (Cybill Shepherd) was railed (ha ha) and nailed on top of the pool table by Clu Gulager, a much older man, I heard several guys tell tales of how they had balled chicks and older women on pool tables. Only one story was true. This older man ran a bar in a small town, and to spice up Saturday nights, he hired some strippers for a while to entertain the local men. The ladies agreed to stay after closing time and since this was just a crummy little bar with no rooms, the women turned tricks for the gentlemen atop the pool table. I used to work evenings and I would stop into this place in the early afternoons as a halfway one-beer stop on my pre-work bicycle ride. I was not a part of the carnal knowledge carnage. Great story, brianstouder.

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