The weekend is over and not a lot of fun was had — work and errands and the usual seemed to pile up a bit higher this week. But I did some reading and walked the dog and got some exercise. The Metro Times Blowout was this weekend — it’s a local-music festival, the loud kind — and I got to one show Friday but happily turned my wristband over to Kate the next night. Saw some friends, drank a couple of beers and finished off with the final concert of Kate’s jazz season. One of the mothers called for a group picture but couldn’t get her camera to work, so I did her a solid and emailed her mine:
As stated before in this space, they really put the “creative” in Creative Jazz Ensemble, what with having three violins and all. They also have three guitarists, but two were no-shows for this show. Good thing my little girl was there to be the bottom, as one of the numbers was “Papa Was a Rolling Stone,” and you really can’t do that without a bass.
One other thing from Saturday: Watched “Her,” which immediately became my favorite movie of 2013. It won best original screenplay at the Oscars, and no other nominated film of the last year came close to it. It’s about a lonely writer, Theodore, in some vague future version of Los Angeles who falls in love with the disembodied voice of his computer operating system; think Siri after about 20 more generations of improvement. The story is great enough, but what I really fell in love with was the setting of a smoggy Los Angeles where everyone walks around talking, but not to the people around them. Computers have pretty much replaced human contact — the scenes of Theodore’s interaction with his flesh-and-blood friends don’t look like nearly as much fun as his playful chats with Samantha, his OS. Even lonely bedtime masturbation can be done online with a partner with just a few voice commands. His job is writing customized letters for others, to others. The world is entirely a service economy, and this is what we’re selling — canned emotions and disembodied love.
Seriously, I recommend it to anyone who considers these things, and given that we’re a disembodied community here, most of whom don’t even know what other members look like, it almost suggests a virtual movie club.
So, I’m going down to make a simple dinner and see what Sunday-night TV has in store. A little bloggage today:
Jazz hands! A Minneapolis Star-Tribune reporter embeds at a high-school musical and files a report.
God, I hate circuses.
Meanwhile, back in Detroit, the Cinco de Mayo parade is cancelled after someone is shot to death pretty much smack in the middle of it.
Happy Monday, all.
Connie said on May 5, 2014 at 7:22 am
“Papa was a Rolling Stone” is a song about my birthday.
coozledad said on May 5, 2014 at 8:15 am
Roman Garcia, general manager of the Legends show, asked people to pray for the performers.
Classic grifter line. I wonder if he turned his head and spat a wad of phlegm after he said it.
Distilled to its essence, it’s “I fucked up Ima get my Jesus ON”. “Send money” is coming shortly.
Dorothy said on May 5, 2014 at 8:41 am
Three days after my birthday, Connie, you fellow Virgo, you.
We had to have a raccoon euthanized and removed from a dog house (not ours) on our property on Saturday morning. And about 90 minutes before that excitement, my husband spilled an entire cup of coffee on the floor, seat, cup holder and his garments in my two year old vehicle. Our Saturday got off to a roaring start but things calmed down eventually.
Have any of you ever decided early on into a new job that you just hated it and wanted to make a switch or start looking all over again? I’m considering doing that but what’s holding me up is how I explain this to prospective employers should any call me after getting my resume. I hate this feeling but also want to acknowledge that I should trust my gut. Any retelling of similar experiences and their subsequent events would be most welcome by moi.
jcburns said on May 5, 2014 at 8:53 am
At first glance, I thought your post had a picture of the Supreme Court. If only!
Deborah said on May 5, 2014 at 9:10 am
Dorothy, been there done that. I knew the first day when they showed me to my desk that I’d made a huge mistake accepting the job. The interviews went swimmingly but the job turned out to be a turd. I told myself I’d work there for a year even though it seemed excruciating. In the end I lasted 5 months, I was so happy to put in my notice that I was almost tap dancing. It didn’t hurt my chances for getting a new job one bit. I was very honest about it with my prospective employer, I think employers would rather people quit if they know it’s not a good fit.
Jessica said on May 5, 2014 at 9:43 am
I saw Her with a couple of my advanced-linguistics-computation natural-language-understanding developer friends. They were so distracted by the inaccuracies that they couldn’t see the issue. I’m not talking nerd-o-rama inaccuracies, but things that could have been presented accurately without damaging the drama but were not. I was distracted by all the orange they evidently wear in the near future. I wanted to buy the guy a few more shirts.
Jessica said on May 5, 2014 at 9:48 am
Oh, and I was profoundly irritated by the fact that even in the all-online world paper books are routinely published, and dumbfounded by the idea that in the all-online world a book could be accepted for publication that fast without an agent and without the publishing company wanting to meet or at least talk with the author.
Of course maybe the second thing is like all those people in movies set in Manhattan who find street parking places immediately in midtown.
Pam (the sister) said on May 5, 2014 at 9:49 am
Are hair follicles really that strong? To hold a person spinning in the air with 2 other people attached? Are they wearing hair harnesses? I read that a clamp is to blame for the whole mess collapsing. With your hair attached to a metal frame, it’s likely hard to hit and roll to avoid injury.
Connie said on May 5, 2014 at 9:59 am
Just the thought of hanging by my hair makes my head hurt.
alex said on May 5, 2014 at 10:57 am
Sorry to hear you’re dissatisfied, Dorothy. I know how much you loved your previous job, so this must be a big disappointment. What exactly do you dislike about this one?
I have a friend who used to work in personnel/head hunting and maybe you should enlist the services of such a person who would be understanding of your predicament and who might be able to counsel you as to what to do or help you find something else.
Thinking back on some of the dysfunctional offices and abysmal managers I’ve dealt with in the distant past, I thank my lucky stars for my current situation. I work for highly intelligent people who don’t feel threatened by intelligent subordinates but prefer them. If I were in a job that I hated, I would sooner quit than suffer it, and if that’s what you need to do for your own sanity, then consider putting that first and don’t worry what prospective employers will think.
Julie Robinson said on May 5, 2014 at 11:04 am
End of year concerts, graduations…you’d think it was spring, but not from the weather. Her goes on the Netflix list, with the caveats from Jessica, with whom I share movie parking skepticism.
We braved the cold on Sunday afternoon to visit the tulips at Foster Park, which looked like they’d had a hard winter but nonetheless cheered me considerably. And hubby froze in Ann Arbor for our niece’s graduation on Saturday; one more Pysch BA unleashed upon the world to wait tables until grad school.
Dorothy, I haven’t known from day one but I stayed in a job way past when I should have left, and years later still have unpleasant flashbacks that make me realize what a mistake it was. Listen to your gut and get out.
Maybe it was wild animal weekend. Friends who live in Arizona posted a pic of a javelina that got into a storage closet off their garage. It took several hours to coax it out, after it wreaked havoc. No report on the smell, but I’m thinking nasty.
Dorothy said on May 5, 2014 at 11:24 am
I was hired to provide support to a student-run investment forum. It happens once a year, in March, so there are slower times and of course very busy times as the forum approaches. I started in mid-February so things were really ramped up by the time I came aboard. In the office here it’s “run” by a female who’s been doing it for seven years and she is my supervisor. She knows the forum very well. However she’s got a hair-trigger temper and I haven’t been the target of it yet, but many others have, especially a woman who is older than me who sits near me. I keep meeting people who say “I used to work for (my supervisor)” and then they trail off. I think she’s run lots of people away from this department because she’s so prickly. So far I get along well with her, but I feel like it’s just a matter of time before she blows up at me.
This other older woman in my department is in fear for her job – she’s nice to me and we’re friendly but she has openly told me that she thinks they are going to replace her with me eventually. Also the male executive in charge of this forum doesn’t actually work here – he runs a big investment company in Michigan. He’s an alum and I’m having issues with him. It’s all kind of complicated and he thinks he’s my boss, but he has no day-to-day involvement with me. In fact he didn’t say one word once the forum ended on March 29th to ANY of us in my office. No emails, no phone calls, nothing. Suddenly last week he called out of the blue while I was at lunch – left a message. My supervisor heard me say he had called. Then she said “Don’t call him back, and don’t answer the phone when he calls back.” I was stunned and asked how I was supposed to handle that. She got on the phone with someone in the Dean’s office. She then told me that I could answer the phone when he calls – just to see what he wanted. I am getting the impression that perhaps they are going to replace this executive in charge. I just wish someone would be clear with me about it. The guy did call me eventually, he asked a few questions, said he’d have some new work for me soon and would be back in touch. It sounded like he was just fishing for information. It’s all mysterious and confusing and beyond odd. And my stomach churns just about every day at work. I’m not used to feeling this way when I’m at work. I WAS happier at my previous job. I know you can’t be happy 100% of the time, but I just wish I didn’t dread coming into work so much.
Judybusy said on May 5, 2014 at 11:38 am
I agree with others here, Dorothy, start looking for another position–that sounds really uncomfortable. You may or may not be able to quit now, but if you can, go for it, because it sounds pretty bad.
Our weekend was pretty nice–no rain, and temps in the low 50s. I headed out to the Arboretum to take pics for a Powerpoint I’m working on for the Master Gardener program. Although I’d been craving sun for days, it’s not the best for photography. I’ll go again on Saturday, when more things will be in bloom, and hopefully some cloud cover will be available! I also had a fantastic day Sunday in the dog park, got lots of great photos of Dutchmen’s breeches, and trillium and wild ginger that were emerging.
Right this very minute, three guys are tearing up my backyard for the patio install and garden re-design. The excitement is not helping my insomnia one bit!
brian stouder said on May 5, 2014 at 11:44 am
Dorothy – I had that feeling once, and I lasted 2 weeks and then resigned.
I had no other job lined up, but the feeling of relief was pronounced
Connie said on May 5, 2014 at 12:03 pm
Judybusy, growing up in the West Michigan Dutch I learned the name of that wildflower as Dutchman’s Broekes. (Brookies). Never heard it called Dutchman’s Britches until I was an adult. Broeke is Dutch for pants and was also used to refer to diapers. As in that baby has Skeet in der broeke.
brian stouder said on May 5, 2014 at 12:04 pm
Connie at 15 – Thread WIN, baby!
Scout said on May 5, 2014 at 12:52 pm
Dorothy, one thing I have learned is that you must create the space for change to happen. I have no doubt you will find a better job once you leave the one in which you are currently feeling stuck. You do not even have to physically leave it, just mentally vacate and move on and things will open up.
We may be a disembodied community in the aspect that many of us do not interact outside of here, true, but I have really enjoyed the more personal connection I’ve made with several nnc folk on facebook. Once I got over the idea that I actually have to have met someone in person to friend them, I have made all kinds of really cool friends through social media. Everyone brings something to the table of life and I love that.
Dorothy said on May 5, 2014 at 1:05 pm
I cannot afford to just quit but I have decided that it will be healthier for me all the around to keep my options open and keep searching for a different job. Thank you all for your support! It means more to me than you could know. I feel like I know you, or this group at least, much better than anyone I’ve met since moving away from Pittsburgh a dozen years ago.
I agree with you, Scout, about the Facebook connections! I know my life is richer since joining the nn.c community.
Deborah said on May 5, 2014 at 1:20 pm
I had a physical scheduled with my regular Dr this morning, I’m trying to get all of my routine medical stuff taken care of since I’m back in Chicago. But I was in for a surprise to find out my Dr is not on the new insurance I got through the ACA. I didn’t even think about checking, it never occurred to me. I fasted and everything but had to cancel on the spot. My mistake of course for not checking. They said this is happening a lot, people like me don’t think to call first. Now Ii have to find a new Dr on my insurers list. Damn.
Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on May 5, 2014 at 1:31 pm
Skeet in der broeke – I’m keeping that phrase around to use, somehow, someday.
I hear folks decry “virtual” community, but among many other objections I have to those saying this stuff is deadly to “true human” interactions, I can honestly say I’ve ended up, for good and for ill, knowing much more about people I work with face to face, because of my additional dimension of online (mostly, but not only Facebook) interactions with them. And it’s generally been a helpful angle that allows me to understand and support and directly assist “real world” friends. With the occasional TMI.
Dorothy, from what you’ve said, I’d be ramping up my discreet looking, but it doesn’t sound like it’s time to quit. But it also sounds like you’re wise to prepare for that time being sooner, not later.
Scout said on May 5, 2014 at 1:43 pm
The secret to maximizing facebook, etc is to get out from behind the monitor and participate in the cool things you get invited to. Probably at least half of what we do for fun is stuff we found out about on facebook. The virtual community has enhanced our real community connections, rather than the other way around.
Judybusy said on May 5, 2014 at 2:29 pm
Oh, Connie, I love knowing things like this! Thanks for sharing that.
I’ll pile on with virtual community–FB has helped me create better connections with people I know in real life, and I have a far-flung network of friends I know only online. It’s also a great way to stay in touch with people we’ve met on vacation. Not as intrusive as email or a phone call, and we got to see some Brooklyn guys in Puerto Rico that we’d met in 2013 due to the FB connection.
coozledad said on May 5, 2014 at 2:46 pm
John Boehner, today:
“With four of our countrymen killed at the hands of terrorists, the Republican people want a way to hang this around someone’s neck. Trey Gowdy is as dogged, focused, and serious-minded as any teenage boy with a box of Kleenex and whatever kids are beating off with these days. His background as a prematurely gray Dr. Who fan and his zeal for an unnatural lonely life make him the ideal person to head up this most recent self inflicted gunshot wound to the Republican party’s head. I know he shares my commitment to race to the
barbottom with this tragedy and will not tolerate anything which challenges the strange preconceived notions playing outin the gothic theater of his strangely narrow South Carolina skull. I plan to ensure he and his committee have as much shit to throw as a block of test monkeys isolated by a hurricane on some remote Georgia island. This is a big job, bigger than any one of the rest of us were willing to ruin our political careers with, but Rep. Gowdy has the confidence of a man with a water pistol and a hefty bag standing in line at a bank, and about as much of a clue, or a plan.
We have every reason to believe that Trey Gowdy could be photographed fucking a llama and still win a South Carolina primary against a pair of conjoined twins who dress like Hitler as long as he doesn’t talk too much.
It’s five o’ clock somewhere, folks.”
BigHank53 said on May 5, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Dorothy, I’d sit down and make a list of dealbreakers–things that would absolutely make you quit. A problem with insane workplaces is that the insanity can creep up gradually, and one can become accustomed to things that are definitely not OK. If you think your boundaries are going to be tested you’d best survey them now.
I did temp work for quite a few years, and was in and out of a couple dozen firms. It taught me to get the scent of a foul workplace, which was a lesson that came in handy. I later wound up in a town with so few employers that I didn’t have much of a choice about working for crazy people. It can be extraordinarily hard on your soul.
If you’re getting a weird vibe with regards to the out-of-town maybe-boss, it’s worth asking for a clarification, and specific directions as to what you’re allowed to tell him or do for him. You don’t need the full story of what’s going on; just a three-sentence summary. And if they’re not willing to tell you what you need to know in order to behave in a professional manner, that tells you how much they value professionalism.
Jeff Borden said on May 5, 2014 at 3:27 pm
I’m still not sure what upsets me more today. . .the prospect of a summer of bullshit Benghazi hearings run by a numbnut from South Carolina (yeeesh) or the Supreme Court decision that distinctly Christian prayers at a local council meeting are just “ceremonial.” (I pray that everyone from Hasidic Jews to Sunni Muslims to Pastafarians descend on the council meetings in Greece, N.Y. demanding equal time.)
beb said on May 5, 2014 at 3:42 pm
I never could figure out what the scandal was behind Benghazi.
Jolene said on May 5, 2014 at 3:52 pm
Amen, Cooz and Jeff. Of all the BS things the GOPers have said and done in the past few years, I don’t think anything makes me madder than the Benghazi nonsense. Every time I hear “Four Americans died” I want to scream. In Iraq, 4500 Americans and more than 100,000 Iraqis died, we spent a trillion dollars, and destroyed our international reputation. Why don’t we have a panel investigating that?
Jeff Borden said on May 5, 2014 at 3:57 pm
The real scandal, as usual, is the ability of the Republicans, particularly in the House, to purge their memories of terrible errors committed by their party and focus on their political enemies. They were silent as W. ran up the deficit with unfunded wars, tax cuts and Medicaid expansions. They were silent as W. and his crew of incompetents and malefactors ginned up an illegal war in Iraq. They were silent as W. forbid photographs of flag-covered caskets arriving back home and still rarely speak about the 4,000-plus dead Americans, the tens of thousands of profoundly damaged American veterans and the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of Iraqis who either perished or fled their country. They were conspicuously silent when foreign embassies and other diplomatic outposts were attacked while W. was in office.
This is a two-fer for a political party with no ideas. First, they get to smear the black man in the Oval Office, which they always delight in doing, and second, they tarnish the woman who will crush any opponent they choose to run in 2016. Democrats may be spineless jellyfish, but damn, the Republicans in Congress these days are just awful, awful, awful people.
brian stouder said on May 5, 2014 at 4:11 pm
Governor Romney tried to make hay out of it, and the voters rightly rejected it.
I think the R’s believe that screaming “COVER-UP” might push the president into defensive-mode, rather than aggressive campaign-mode.
This will (presumably) get the angry white folks out to vote (shall we call them the “white-hots”?) – whereas the D’s don’t have a single issue to rally their base.
Rage over Benghazi is just such a flat-fraud, that it disgusts me.
I didn’t blame the president for when our embassies got blown to bits in – was it Tanzania? (maybe a dozen dead Americans there, amongst many other dead and injured people)
Nor when our destroyer got blown up in Aden (that killed more than a dozen sailors).
This stuff is supposed to “stop at the water’s edge” – but I see it doesn’t anymore (if it ever did)
coozledad said on May 5, 2014 at 4:15 pm
January 22, 2002: US consulate at Kolkata, 5 Killed
June 14, 2002: US Consulate at Karachi, 12 Killed
February 28, 2003: US Embassy at Islamabad, 2 Killed
June 30, 2004: US Embassy at Tashkent, 2 Killed
December 6, 2004: US Compound at Saudi Arabia, 9 Killed
March 2, 2006: US Consulate in Karachi, 2 Killed
September 12, 2006: US Embassy at Syria, 4 Killed
March 18, 2008 US Embassy at Yemen, 2 Killed
July 9, 2008: US Consulate at Istanbul, 6 Killed
September 17, 2008 US Embassy at Yemen, 16 Killed
TOTAL DEATHS: 60
Judybusy said on May 5, 2014 at 5:07 pm
Wow, Cooz, had no idea. And nary a peep about a cover-up about any of those tragic events.
Deborah said on May 5, 2014 at 5:17 pm
Coozledad, I’m copying that list and sending it to my rightwing sister who constantly emails me about Benghazi. Thanks.
Jeff Borden said on May 5, 2014 at 5:18 pm
What will really jumpstart your blood pressure, Judybusy, is noting that our Republican House helped engineer substantial cuts that affected security at Benghazi. A story in Esquire last July noted that embassies were equipped with special doors and other gear to keep out these kinds of attacks, but there weren’t enough funds to retrofit all the consulates. In short, some of the same shrieking, poo-flinging monkeys calling for Obama’s head on a platter cast the votes that cut funding to the state department.
Jolene said on May 5, 2014 at 5:48 pm
Beb, your question about what exactly was scandalous about the Benghazi attack is a good one. Not everyone has the same idea. For instance, a vox.com explainer on the topic says:
This investigation has centered around three different questions: whether the Benghazi mission was sufficiently protected, whether the US failed to stop the attack when it could have, and whether the administration covered up the truth about the attack’s origins.
So, there are at least three main issues. I suspect that, most of the time, people referring to the incident have these issues jumbled together in their minds. If you want to find out more about both the incident and the controversy, see http://www.vox.com/cards/benghazi-ambassador-stevens-attack/benghazi-basics
LAMary said on May 5, 2014 at 6:29 pm
And there there was this back in the reign of Saint Ronnie:
Suzanne said on May 5, 2014 at 8:24 pm
Oh, Dorothy, I’ve been through this several times. I’m nearly an expert!
Once, I lasted about 10 months (tried to make it a year, but decided it was either quit or get some heavy duty medication). I had nothing else lined up & I don’t recommend that, but I felt I would go mad if I stayed longer. I did raise eyebrows when I looked for another job, which took me a while to find.
The next time, I made it 2 years until I found something else. That job was at a place where firing people on a regular basis seemed to be part of their business plan. People came, people went constantly and I always wondered when my number would be up.
Good luck. I know from experience how hard it is to go to a job every day that you hate.
Dexter said on May 5, 2014 at 9:06 pm
Finally, I soon will be free from this constant over-kill of ads for John Boehner, who got scared this year and is covering the media in campaign ads. The radio ads are much more biting with hatred for Obama while the TV ads are emphasizing Boehner’s “family, conservative, values”.
We vote in 9 hours.
alex said on May 5, 2014 at 10:18 pm
I’m debating whether to bother voting. It means registering as a Republican because there are no Democrats running for office where I live, and it means choosing establishment GOPers versus freaks, which is the difference, essentially, between kissing a turd or having to swallow it whole. If I don’t go out and vote for the lesser evil I may have to live with the greater one.
Kirk said on May 5, 2014 at 10:26 pm
i might vote republican for the first time in many years just so i can vote against a tea-bagger nut
brian stouder said on May 6, 2014 at 8:20 am
Kirk and Alex – I did just that, 15 minutes ago.
Honestly, I found taking the “R” from the poll worker genuinely unpleasant.
But it’s a civic duty, like shoveling your sidewalk or picking up loose garbage