Sometime when I was away these past, what? Thirty years? My hometown’s nickname became “C-bus.” Yep, it’s a thing.

I don’t understand it. When I was writing my return address on letters and bill payments all those years ago, I went for “Cols., OH.” When I referred to the city to my out-of-town friends, I’d sometimes call it Cowtown, which was the trendy, ironic preference of the time. But ultimately, it’s only three slurry syllables, and C-bus is silly.

Detroit has a million nicknames, though, and it only has two syllables. But Columbus always suffered from what one of my editors called State Capital Syndrome, that being the bland, centrally located city that was a compromise between the two or three brawnier cities in the same state. Think Harrisburg, Lansing, etc. But in the 21st century, the brawny have been laid low and the nerd cities are in their ascendancy. And so Columbus, white-collar city of state government, higher education, insurance and science think tanks, gets its own hipster diminutive. C-bus.

I’m sort of glad I don’t live there anymore. I couldn’t say that with a straight face.

One final note: When I was there, the lost, economically exiled children of Youngstown would hold a vast party in C-bus, called Y-town is My Town. Speaking of industrial brawn being laid low.

So a quick skip to the bloggage:

Dinesh D’Souza, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

If it’s spring, it’s time for falcon cams. I went looking for some last night and it looks like Fort Wayne’s is up and running. So is Lansing.

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all. Or anyone else.

Bedtime. Have a good hump day.

Posted at 12:30 am in Popculch |

49 responses to “See-bus.”

  1. Dexter said on May 21, 2014 at 1:15 am

    I was thinking I first heard C-Bus on Scottie Ferrell’s radio sports show, “Ferrell On the Bench” which used to air on AM late-night radio and now may be a podcast. The more I ponder, I too think it came from Jim Rome’s radio show.

    I got ripped but good on an international satellite radio show Tuesday for sending the host an email. For years this guy has called Ringo Starr a no-talent hack, but when Don Was was being interviewed and called Ringo a true star and a great drummer, the host jumped right in. I sent the host an email sort of sarcastically saying I was glad he had seen the light, since Don Was liked Ringo, and this radio show host used my full name, gleaned from the Yahoo! mail heading, and called me a few choice names. He also ridiculed my name, even. Well, que sera sera…I hate controversy. Sheesh!

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  2. Sherri said on May 21, 2014 at 1:50 am

    So glad to be done with high school. I’m in Walla Walla to pick my daughter up after her first year of college, and we were just having a discussion about how much more reasonable college is than high school.

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  3. alex said on May 21, 2014 at 7:15 am

    C-bus is most definitely on the B-list of municipal monikers. When it comes to names that are spot-on, clever and memorable, it doesn’t get much better than Naptown.

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  4. Deborah said on May 21, 2014 at 7:38 am

    When I hear people say Chi-town, it makes me cringe.

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  5. alex said on May 21, 2014 at 7:41 am

    And speaking of wordplay, the name Dinklage sounds to my sick and twisted mind like it should be the masculine counterpart to Beavage and Boobage.

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  6. basset said on May 21, 2014 at 7:46 am

    A couple more cams:

    Falcons in Indianapolis

    and one at Mrs. B’s alma mater in Big Rapids, Michigan – date is wrong but we’re getting some motion so I assume it’s current

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  7. coozledad said on May 21, 2014 at 7:46 am

    Yeah, Dinklage sounds like some of Karl Rove’s dad’s cock jewelry. The everyday wear.

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  8. Judybusy said on May 21, 2014 at 8:04 am

    A friend from long ago coined Tinyappolos for my fair city. I still use it from time to time as a (very) in joke, as a play on the Big Apple.

    I want this movie to be made!

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  9. Judybusy said on May 21, 2014 at 8:06 am

    Click on just “this movie” and the link works. I will add my monthly plea for the edit button to return. Or some internet genius to come up with a way to hyperlink without HTML in this venue.

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  10. Jolene said on May 21, 2014 at 8:21 am

    Link doesn’t work, Judybusy. Maybe because it’s in Facebook? I got this message:

    The page you requested cannot be displayed right now. It may be temporarily unavailable, the link you clicked on may have expired, or you may not have permission to view this page.
    Return home

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  11. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 8:36 am

    Dex – sounds to me like your email must have been pretty effective and compellingly written!

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  12. Dorothy said on May 21, 2014 at 8:49 am

    A former co-worker twice referred to my hometown in an email to me as “P-burgh.” I put a stop to that as fast as I could. I was polite, but I told her no one, and I mean NO ONE has ever called Pittsburgh that. “The ‘burgh” is acceptable, “Steel City” and probably some others I can’t think of right off the bat. But if she had continued to call it P-burgh I would have had to slap her.

    I wore my lightweight Steelers jacket to Cleveland this past weekend and got several comments from strangers. My favorite was the guy in Little Italy, after we had dinner, and we were milling about outside the restaurant taking some pictures. He sauntered up and said “Hey did you know there’s a little shop just down this side street that sells only Browns jerseys? You ought to go shopping to get a replacement for that coat.” I looked him right in the eye and said “Thanks! I’m out of rags to wash my car so I’ll stock up!” He looked extremely disappointed that I was ready with a comeback so fast.

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  13. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 8:55 am

    Dorothy talkin’ smack in the ‘mistake by the lake’!

    (Actually, I love Cleveland’s zoo; and they put on great races at that airport)

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  14. Judybusy said on May 21, 2014 at 8:57 am

    Here is another link to what is now a too-long joke–I had thought since it waasn’t my page, the lazy FB way would work!

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  15. Icarus said on May 21, 2014 at 9:56 am

    @Deborah, that’s how we know the natives from the transplants.

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  16. nancy said on May 21, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I recall reading that no one, absolutely NO ONE, who is native to these cities says “Frisco” or “the big easy.”

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  17. David in Cincinnati said on May 21, 2014 at 10:05 am

    Cincinnati tried to rebrand as “The ‘Nati” a few years ago. It wasn’t wildly popular, but it appears to have some life in it still:

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  18. adrianne said on May 21, 2014 at 10:11 am

    And no one who lives there calls New York City the Big Apple, either. BTW, Cooze’s comment on “Dinklage” made my day!

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  19. Charlotte said on May 21, 2014 at 10:11 am

    No no no no on “Frisco”. Never. Ever. Only the worst of the tourists say that. San Fran maybe, or SF in emails etc. but really, San Francisco. Not that hard.

    My favorite is the one they keep pushing on us — Billings Montana, “The Magic City.” The least magical place ever …

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  20. Jeff Borden said on May 21, 2014 at 10:14 am

    Having spent a total of 15 years in cities with major inferiority complexes –Columbus, Ohio and Charlotte, N.C.– it’s kind of nice to live in a place where no one really cares about such silly shit. (BTW, I have insulted both those fair municipalities by placing ‘Ohio’ and ‘N.C.’ after their names, which I recall was always a source of agita.)

    Dinesh D’Souza is a special kind of asshole. . .a South Asian tasked with defending the British Raj and defending colonialism when it suits his purposes. But just you watch. . .this dribbling dweeb will do his time wearing the clothing of a martyr to the cause, he will be released into the warm embrace of some rightwing foundation, he will write a book about how he has suffered for standing up to liberal tyranny, he will be used to fund-raise for other wing nuts, he will give speeches for nice money and first-class accommodations despite being a third-rate, minor league hack.

    In short, he’ll hit the wingnut lottery.

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  21. Bob (not Greene) said on May 21, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Charlotte, Maybe it’s magic because people live there. One of my brothers included. I wonder if you’ve crossed paths. He’s a doctor. Looks like Billy Idol. Moonlights as a — wait for it — magician. In The Magic City, no less.

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  22. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 10:48 am

    All my life, references to “the summit city” have bounced around Fort Wayne, which is a nice reminder of the brief time that canals were the big thing.

    In recent years, hasn’t Columbus taken some heat for its namesake explorer/spreader of genocide? (Surely General Wayne could do the same for us)

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  23. Kirk said on May 21, 2014 at 11:07 am

    No one I know ever has used the term “C-bus.” The latest incarnation of that is an actual bus, a free line going back and forth from the OSU area to German Village. If anyone does call the city C-bus, it’s probably dipshit TV anchors and/or people who think they’re hipsters because they wear stupid hats.

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  24. LAMary said on May 21, 2014 at 11:20 am

    Frisco just grates unless it’s in reference to the town in Colorado.

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  25. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 11:47 am

    When I think San Francisco, I think Rice-a-roni

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  26. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    ‘food’ for thought –

    Lois had long ago lost touch with Pailadzo Captanian, the woman who in the 1940s had taught her to make Armenian rice pilaf — the recipe that would inspire her husband’s family to create a side dish that gave Kraft Macaroni & Cheese a run for its money in the 1950s, when rice was rarely found on the American dinner table.

    We began searching for the family of Pailadzo Captanian and found her grandson, Ted, who came bearing a translated version of the unique memoir his grandmother wrote of her harrowing exodus from Armenia, a pile of photographs, and a family pilaf recipe passed down from “Grandma Cap.”

    Lois grew up in Edmonton, Canada, and met her husband, Tom, in San Francisco in 1944. Tom’s father, an immigrant from Italy, had a pasta company in San Francisco, where Tommy worked with his brothers.

    There was very little housing available in San Francisco after World War II. So when Mrs. Captanian advertised a room to rent, Lois and Tom moved in with her.

    “Mrs. Captanian, I had a liking for her right away. So we moved in. Tommy would work until about 7 o’clock at the pasta factory and I was alone a lot,” Lois said. “I was only 18 and I was pregnant. And I had kitchen privileges. Well, I really wasn’t much of a cook. And here was this Armenian lady, probably about 70 years [old], making yogurt on the back of the stove, all day, every day. I didn’t even know what the word ‘yogurt’ meant.”

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  27. Scout said on May 21, 2014 at 12:24 pm

    Phoenix doesn’t have a nickname, except for possibly “Hell” several months of the year. My SO hails from Chicago and is quite adamant about both Chi-Town and The Windy City as being off limits.

    I often wonder about the Dinesh D’Souza types and if they really believe their schtick or if it is all about the money.

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  28. MichaelG said on May 21, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    I was very sick for several weeks as a result of a very aggressive course of chemo therapy. I’m not going into any details but my EX and my daughter were life savers. Now things are improving and I should be back to pretty much normal in a week or so. Minus my hair. Thanks to all of you for your good wishes.

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  29. Deborah said on May 21, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    Good to hear from you MichaelG. Hang in there.

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  30. Kaye said on May 21, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    Welcome back MichaelG! Glad to hear you are feeling better.

    I have heard people under forty say “C-bus” and “the Nati” in conversation. Often I hear “SFO” and “PDX” for San Francisco and Portland OR; that may be a work-related thing.

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  31. Dexter said on May 21, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    In some ways, in some circles, Jack Kerouac was the coolest cat of the middle of the last century. By now I have read about 90% of his books, and I’ll tell you, as The Beats travelled in that triangle of Mexico City, New York City, and San Francisco, with lots of time spent in San Francisco, Jack Kerouac , in poetry and verse, mostly referred to San Francisco as “Frisco”. During my year out in Central Cal and The Bay Area, the first thing I learned was to call the place “The City”, and never ever “Frisco”.
    I lived in and close to Fort Wayne, Indiana for many years but never heard it called “The Fort” until I came here to nn dot com…but maybe a radio station started that. Maybe nance did.
    “The D” , that’s another relatively new one, as is calling M Stadium “The Big House”. I have attended 100 games (maybe 101) in M Stadium and never was it called “The Big House” under AD Don Canham’s watch. I don’t know who the fucking moron was who started up that shit.

    I live in “The Fountain City, known for its artesian wells.” WAY too long a handle!

    “Rubber City”, there ya go. Akron, of course.

    I think “Naptown” was perhaps at least originally a Black thing. I think that because the Black ballplayers on our travelling team back in 1968-9 called it that . I had lived my whole 18 , 19 years in Indiana and had never heard of “Naptown”.

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  32. Basset said on May 21, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    Probably so. Madam CJ Walker, first black millionaire, based her businesses there for awhile.

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  33. Dorothy said on May 21, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    Good to hear from you again, MichaelG!!

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  34. jcburns said on May 21, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    It’s Clumps. Clumps, Ahia. Has the added benefit of minimizing syllables.

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  35. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Michael – what Dorothy said!

    It sounds like your family is pulling together, which must be a very great comfort.

    Here’s wishing you all the best

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  36. Connie said on May 21, 2014 at 2:51 pm

    Good news Michael G. As for me, yesterday was my first eye cataract surgery. I can see, I can see! My distance vision seems to be perfect, close-up not quite. Right now I am wearing glasses with one lens removed which is weird. Second eye next week.

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  37. Deborah said on May 21, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    Connie, every one I know who has had cataract surgery says the same thing. It must be amazing.

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  38. Deborah said on May 21, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    JC Burns, it took me awhile to figure out what you meant, but now that I got it, hilarious.

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  39. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    All I know is, after years of watching the Andy Griffith show – what goes on “up in Raleigh” stays in Raleigh

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  40. Dexter said on May 21, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    ..and God only knows what the natives do when they drive “over to Mount Pilot”. I was overjoyed when I took my first interstate Greyhound Bus ride from Columbus to Winston-Salem and in the early morning I got my first view of Pilot Mountain. Yes, it’s real. Had to be an alien deal, spaceships, something..right?

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  41. brian stouder said on May 21, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    And I think Meyers Lake must have been a den of iniquity; sort of a drive-in movie without the movie

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  42. Dexter said on May 21, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    Lots of star-gazin’ and rock-skippin’ up at Meyers lake, fersure. My favorite TV lake was “Leave it to Beaver”‘s “Friend’s Lake.” I have my reasons. 🙂

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  43. Kirk said on May 21, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    Is that where Wally was a candy “butcher,” a term I never had heard until I was watching a rerun of the show a few years back?

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  44. Dexter said on May 21, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    I think so, Kirk. My wife watched that on Netflix just last week. Candy butcher it was.

    From NBC: Really, really?
    Levi’s CEO Says Don’t Wash Your Jeans

    As gross as it may sound, the CEO of Levi Strauss – aka the jean expert of experts – says you shouldn’t wash your favorite pair of denim. “We try to educate the consumer…If you talk to real denim aficionados, they’ll tell you don’t wash your blue jeans, just take a sponge or toothbrush,” said Levi’s CEO Chip Bergh at Fortune’s Brainstorm Green conference. “I know it sounds totally disgusting. I know it does, but believe me, it can be done.” Yesterday marked the 141st birthday of the classic Levi’s 501 jean. We can only hope that any remaining pairs from then have seen the inside of a washer machine. [NBC News story]

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  45. Dave said on May 21, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    Weren’t oldtime newsboys called news butchers? I was thinking they were, going back to the beginnings of the last century.

    C-bus sounds ridiculous. Course, I grew up in Picktown, and no one I ever knew took offense at that in what was then our little town. Now, Reynoldsburg kids always referred to it as Pigtown. That was then, don’t know about now, and do little towns count?

    I spent years going to Cincy and we all referred to it as Cincy. Of course, none of us were native nor were any of us residing there. As for the Fort, we called it that, Dexter. We got called to go back to “The Fort”.

    Dorothy, that’s a good answer, which I look forward to using on a Steelers fan. Nice line that’ll work for any team.

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  46. Kirk said on May 21, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    Today’s news butchers mostly work at Fox News.

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  47. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on May 21, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    Best to you, MichaelG, and thanks for sharing an update. I’d been wondering how you were getting along.

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  48. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on May 21, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    Dexter, I get the impression the Levi’s CEO has never mulched a series of flowerbeds wearing his product, or much of any other sweating, straining, carrying sacks of compost kinds of work. Sponge? And dab with eau de nimes, I suppose.

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  49. Dexter said on May 22, 2014 at 12:05 am

    JmmO: I used to get my 501s saturated with cutting oil and industrial lubricating compound oils used to form those big rolls of steel we all see every day rolling through on trucks and train cars. Now I find that I was endangering my entire townhouse block because I’d wash ’em in my machine and throw them in my dryer and head for the bars…oil soaked clothing that’s been washed is still a fire hazard in the hot dryers. I didn’t even know that then.

    Back in 1981 I took my buddy to Livonia where we met up with his crazy cousin for some serious clubbin’ and beer drinking.
    As we careened around the Detroit suburbs, cousin Ted called out the names of each town. Inkster became “Stinkster”. Garden City was now “Garbage City”. Westland…care to guess? Yes! “Wasteland”.

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