Bad boy.

I don’t know if Detroit’s proximity to Canada predisposes us to like America Jr.’s media offerings or what, but I’ve been a fan of Q, a show hosted by Jian Ghomeshi; it runs on WDET here. I guess, for lack of a better description, you’d call it the Canadian “Fresh Air,” only with more guests in a typical hour. Today the word is flying around that Ghomeshi was fired, with various hints at an ugly scandal lurking in the wings – Ghomeshi was said to have hired a crisis public-relations firm; the network said it had information that precluded it from continuing to employ him, etc.

An hour or so ago, Ghomeshi himself posted a statement on his Facebook that, if you take him at his word, has to be the very definition of a 21st-century nightmare:

About two years ago I started seeing a woman in her late 20s. Our relationship was affectionate, casual and passionate. We saw each other on and off over the period of a year and began engaging in adventurous forms of sex that included role-play, dominance and submission. We discussed our interests at length before engaging in rough sex (forms of BDSM). We talked about using safe words and regularly checked in with each other about our comfort levels. She encouraged our role-play and often was the initiator. We joked about our relations being like a mild form of Fifty Shades of Grey or a story from Lynn Coady’s Giller-Prize winning book last year. I don’t wish to get into any more detail because it is truly not anyone’s business what two consenting adults do. I have never discussed my private life before. Sexual preferences are a human right.

Despite a strong connection between us it became clear to me that our on-and-off dating was unlikely to grow into a larger relationship and I ended things in the beginning of this year. She was upset by this and sent me messages indicating her disappointment that I would not commit to more, and her anger that I was seeing others.

After this, in the early spring there began a campaign of harassment, vengeance and demonization against me that would lead to months of anxiety.

It came to light that a woman had begun anonymously reaching out to people that I had dated (via Facebook) to tell them she had been a victim of abusive relations with me. In other words, someone was reframing what had been an ongoing consensual relationship as something nefarious. I learned – through one of my friends who got in contact with this person – that someone had rifled through my phone on one occasion and taken down the names of any woman I had seemed to have been dating in recent years. This person had begun methodically contacting them to try to build a story against me. Increasingly, female friends and ex-girlfriends of mine told me about these attempts to smear me.

I’m a big girl and know everybody has their own version of a story, and I also know I’m predisposed to believe the guy whose show I like, but still – do you come back from something like this? I’m sure some people do, but I can hardly imagine anything worse. (As expected, there are different versions of Ghomeshi’s private life floating around.) ON EDIT: Alas, it’s looking as though Ghomeshi is a garden-variety creep. Too bad. I did like his show.

So, how was everyone’s weekend? I’m still sick, but Sudafed is making things a lot more tolerable, enough that I ventured out for a bike ride Sunday — the glorious days are still with us, but every one feels like it could be the last for a good long while, so you have to enjoy them. Then it was home, groceries and being creative director on Kate’s senior-picture photo shoot, which I hope wrapped successfully. The rest of the weekend was sort of a fog of cold medicine and beer and Halloween candy pilfered from the giant Costco sack I bought. I wonder if it’ll last until Friday. We shall see.

Some bloggage? The Michigan/Michigan State game was pretty awful, as expected, mainly because of Michigan.

Has anyone ever made tarte tatin? I’m thinking of trying this recipe. I’ll let you know how it works out.

Posted at 9:04 pm in Current events, Media |

42 responses to “Bad boy.”

  1. brian stouder said on October 26, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    …the glorious days are still with us, but every one feels like it could be the last for a good long while, so you have to enjoy them.

    Truer words were never spoken; this past weekend was indescribably beautiful; the sky was as clear and blue as could be, and the trees were at maximum color, and the temperature couldn’t have been any more perfectly balanced with the breeze, if it tried.

    Chloe (our 10 year old) and I finished up distributing Anne Duff-for-FWCS-school-board flyers around our neighborhood (she’s an at-large candidate, and a friend of Pam’s, and an all-around good egg!) which was a surprisingly large task. We had a listing or registered voters, and placed them at each address.

    We’re not doorbell ringers; rather, we left the fliers on the porches, secured by people’s mats, or by a rock, or whatever. While we both went up to each porch, Chloe did mostly all the placements (she had a very definite idea how this should be done), and the young lady was never at a loss for something to talk about as we progressed.

    And indeed, in the process, we did end up yapping with folks who were raking leaves or mowing lawns, or whatever else – which was interesting.

    Then, with that task completed (we went out a total of three times over the past three weekends, ending today) it was pork chops on the grill, and some stuff that Pam bought at the new farm market across from Glenbrook (‘something-and-Thyme’, or some such), and then I knocked down the dishes and then raked out the backyard…the pile of leaves somewhat obscures our Anne Duff yard sign, but you’ll have that!

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  2. basset said on October 26, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    Low 80s here today, looks like we put the summer clothes in the attic a little early. Three and a half mile walk before dinner, saw some deer, a great blue heron, and a dying snake, and my sugar was down to normal-person levels when we got back.

    Even a non-diabetic, though, could hurt him/herself on that apple pie… excuse me, tart.

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  3. beb said on October 26, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    After a story like that it’s hard to thing of anything light to talk about.

    But we dd have a magical evening. My wife and I drove out to a restaurant near Lake St, Clair. As we drove along Lake Shore Drive (aka Jefferson Ave) the lake to the east of as was light by the setting sun. There was a high cloud bank reaching all the way to the lake, so the clouds started out a dark blue, bleed to red, yellow, a light blue before becoming white high overhead. The waters, still with only a small ripple reflected the light in waves of white and red. It was like the whole lake was glowing from within. I’d never seem anything like it before. I wish she’d stopped the car to take a photo, but we didn’t.

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  4. Suzanne said on October 27, 2014 at 8:07 am

    I have made a tarte tatin before. It was very tasty! Not too tricky, although trickier than a regular old apple pie.

    The weather WAS beautiful here over the weekend. I need to clean in the basement (well, really, a damp, icky cellar) but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. So I brought in outdoor stuff and then went for a long walk while listening to this podcast–

    Very interesting thoughts on extremism and how to counteract it.

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  5. Wim said on October 27, 2014 at 8:32 am

    Ghomeshi is afflicted by what we used to call the M’s Revenge. And, no, there’s not really any coming back from it. Out in the straight world he’s marked as an abusive pervert, and in BDSM communities there’s always going to be the story that he was outed as a bad top. There will be partisans and passions and wrangling on the Internet that will change nothing. He’s screwed. If he could sue for defamation and win, it still wouldn’t clear his name. Nothing can.

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  6. Dorothy said on October 27, 2014 at 9:25 am

    We had a pricey but delicious dinner on Saturday night, and then went to see the Dayton Symphony and Dayton Playhouse’s joint production of Les Miserables. This, to celebrate our 35th anniversary (which is today). The show was long but good. Too bad the adult Cosette could not sit as still as the 10 year old Cosette did, both of whom were in the front row of seats on stage. She yawned so much and slumped her shoulders frequently, and I found that appalling. She’s a soprano – presumably a professional one! Most fun of all was when I spotted seven people I knew in the audience. And I’ve only lived here a year! It helps that I have done a couple of shows myself since we moved here. I’m in another one, too, which opens three weeks from Friday. I need to buckle down and study my lines. I’m knitting or quilting way too much for someone who has lines to memorize.

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  7. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 9:55 am

    My first response to the “can he come back?” question was “Bill Clinton is still the most popular politician in American, right?” But then I read what the Toronto Star had to say about him. He sounds awful, not just kinky, but brutal. And, by the way, he is suing for $50 million.

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  8. LAMary said on October 27, 2014 at 10:06 am

    Ghomeshi was supposed to a live broadcast of Q here in Santa Monica right around now. I think it must have been cancelled. I listen to Q while finishing the stuff I need to do before falling asleep every night. It’s still good with the woman(whose name I can’t spell or actually remember) covering for him, but they rely on older taped interviews pretty heavily.
    I can’t speak for the specific tarte tatin recipe, but I will say tarte tatin is wonderful and the NYT food section is very reliable for good recipes. I saved that recipe as well as plum torte recipe I’ve got to make very soon because I have a pile of plums on my kitchen counter that need to get consumed.

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  9. brian stouder said on October 27, 2014 at 10:10 am

    Congratulations, Dorothy! Or, more accurately – congratulations to your husband for his extraordinary luck, and the obvious wisdom to hang on to success!

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  10. Kim said on October 27, 2014 at 10:31 am

    Not to jack the thread (really, because there is much to discuss in the world) but to go back to Jolene’s recommended reading from Atul Gawande, author of “Being Mortal”: If you have aging parents or are yourself getting thoughtful about what your end will look like, read this book. I picked it up two weeks ago at Barbara’s Bookstore at O’Hare after having spent a week with my mom in Northwestern’s ICU. I devoured that book, which is all about the ways we prolong life by “protecting” the elderly (and ourselves, the survivors) from the natural course of things. It prepared me – and my trauma nurse sister – to ask our mom last week what she wanted and to realistically describe what was happening and how we could handle it. She had been discharged from the ICU to hospice at home and had just told the ambulance crew she felt “crappy – let’s go!” when she crashed. Without that book’s wisdom I am sure her end would have been much different and not what she wanted, but could not tell us without prompts and permission to leave us.

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  11. Bob (not Greene) said on October 27, 2014 at 10:40 am

    This is the tarte tatin recipe my wife uses. It is one my most favorite things in the world. She usually uses Jonathan apples.

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  12. Sue said on October 27, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Apples were how I finished up my canning season, pulling out the strainer and making applesauce and tomato sauce (all those extra tomatoes saved in the freezer filled a big bag but made only five cups of finished product).
    Applesauce is the only thing I do not love to can. I don’t even like to can applesauce. It’s messy and has too many steps. It’s a CHORE. But oh, that sauce is so much better and less watery than the storebought variety. And is there any better apple for sauce than Empire? I don’t think so.
    I’m not a year round gardener and food prepper. I like the finishing of the garden and the putting-away of the canning equipment that comes in October. I need that break and love the gradual easing into the process again that starts with forcing some bulbs on January 1 (oh that dirt smells nice), then slowly easing into the activities over the coldest months, all the while holding onto the thought of the perfect garden that just might happen next year, always next year.

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  13. Judybusy said on October 27, 2014 at 11:03 am

    Kim, I’m sorry to hear about your mother, but like you, glad you had that difficult conversation. We did the same with my mom a few years ago. She designated me as the decision-maker because she doesn’t know if my sister would be able to make the tough call. (Brothers are out of state and not as close emotionally to our mom.)Thanks for the recommondation.

    The weekend was fab. A bit of yard clean-up, ending with reading and a beer outside. Had breakfast on a patio Sunday, then to a housewarming where I also hung out on their patio. Repeat today. I’m working from home, and I think a bike ride over lunch will be splendid.

    Suzanne @ 4, we used to have a damp, icky basement, but got it finished this year. I feel so incredibly lucky to have this space. (I changed my FB setting to public for the album, so hopefully you all can see it.)

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  14. brian stouder said on October 27, 2014 at 11:31 am

    Regarding Nancy’s on-edit remark about the ‘garden variety creep’, she’s being too kind, I think. Even if we accept that some people have a very different view of what intimacy ideally looks like, and if we further accept that such people will fly their creepy flag at some point (like in a bar or other such place where strangers meet other strangers), doing so at work is flatly unacceptable.

    And, I betcha $50 million that his ‘lawsuit’ is as phony as his public persona; he’s got nothing to hang his complaint to (so to speak) if he was behaving this way at work. No employer (other than the United States Supreme Court, but we digress!) would put up with that.

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  15. Heather said on October 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    I did not have a great weekend–still having relationship issues. If it is still a relationship. I will update when I know more.

    On the other hand, career stuff is going well, in a way. My boss has been trying to get me a much-deserved promotion for months and tells me everything is a go, except that the company that bought us two years ago now needs to approve everything. In the meantime, I was approached for another job that I was initially really excited about. Then I talked to the person who held it previously (a friend of a friend). She only lasted five months and said the person before her only lasted two. Basically how they describe the job and what it is is pretty different. And it sounds like a frenetic pace with lots of hours and little downtime. They pay well, but my gut tells me I would be miserable. I guess it’s like dating–you don’t have to take the first one that comes along.

    I think my bosses are frustrated with the lack of progress on my promotion too because they asked me to tell them if I was considering other opportunities, so with that in mind I did let them know (even though I will probably turn this one down). Another card in my hand is that we are chronically understaffed normally, and now one of my coworkers is out, perhaps permanently, to deal with his drinking problem. So they really need me.

    All this anxiety and uncertainly has led to me losing about 11 pounds at this point. I don’t recommend it as a diet plan, but at least I know I look good!

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  16. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Judybusy, your redone basement looks terrific. Attractive, comfortable, and functional. Hope you’ll have lots of happy times there.

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  17. brian stouder said on October 27, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    Now THAT’s making lemonade out of lemmons!

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  18. brian stouder said on October 27, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    (speaking of Heather!)

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  19. David C. said on October 27, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Sue @ 12. We’re partial to Courtland apples for sauce. It’s a cross between a Mac and a Ben Davis instead of a Mac x Red Delicious for Empire. They’re pretty close, but I think the Courtland has a nicer tartness to it.

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  20. Sue said on October 27, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    David, I always used Cortlands before I found the Empire, so you and I are in the same ballpark I guess. I think the Empire produces an overall more apple-y flavor and love love love the fragrance when the I open a jar.
    Also use Paula Reds when I think of it, but they’re earlier and have a shorter season, and I’m usually still in the summer mindset and up to my neck in tomatoes when they first hit the farmers market.

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  21. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    In my family, we made applesauce differently than anyone else I’ve ever seen. In the version I learned from my mother, we sliced the apples before cooking them, cooked them just enough to soften them, and added sugar and peppermint candies. No grinding or whatever process results in the thick, pudding-like texture of most versions, and, it’s pink! We loved it, and the more usual kind has always looked kind of wrong to me.

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  22. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    As I was writing the entry above, I heard a guy on TV say that the kid who carried out the latest school shooting, which claimed another victim today, didn’t match the usual profile of school shooter because he was a popular kid and a member of the football team. What a world we have in that there’s a “usual profile” of a school shooter.

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  23. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    Another recipe from my mailbox. This one calls for Granny Smith apples. Could be a hit at Thanksgiving.

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  24. Connie said on October 27, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    There are cupcakes made by a co-worker here today. She calls them Irish car bomb cupcakes. They have Bailey’s in the frosting, Guinness in the cake batter, and a filling that contains Irish whiskey. So far I have stuck with the apple cupcakes with caramel frosting. Maybe I will take one home with me for an after dinner drink.

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  25. Basset said on October 27, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Anyone here ever made persimmon pudding?

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  26. Hattie said on October 27, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    Here is the question no one asks: Do we need this guy?

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  27. Connie said on October 27, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    I’ve never made persimmon pudding, but I have eaten my share of it and find it somewhat slimy. When we lived in southern Indiana persimmons, pudding and/or pulp were everywhere.

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  28. Sue said on October 27, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    Martha Stewart does, Basset. It’s in her Christmas book I think. So you are in high company it seems.
    I tried to find a reference to the M.S. recipe online and happy for me found an awesome browsing website:

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  29. Basset said on October 27, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    Hattie, that was uncalled for.

    Persimmon pudding, when made right, has a texture pretty close to pumpkin pie filling. Surprised to see Martha Stewart acknowledged its existence, maybe she thinks it’s an amusing dish of the peasant folk or something.

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  30. CathyC said on October 27, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    Basset, we’re in Bloomington and make it fairly often. My partner says adding a touch of amaretto smooths the flavor right out.

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  31. Sue said on October 27, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    Oh noooooo, Basset. Martha didn’t do too much rustic peasant stuff in that book. Lots of high end desserts and as I recall, for decorations you name it and she gilded it.
    Actually, I love that book.

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  32. Basset said on October 27, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    She just sets my teeth on edge. CathyC, I’m from Martin County southwest of Bloomington and ate my share of persimmon pudding before I got outa there, been gone over thirty years now.

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  33. brian stouder said on October 27, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    I believe those persimmons come up in comical Lincoln-boyhood stories

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  34. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    Something for Pilot Joe and other flying enthusiasts: A NOVA show about WWI aircraft. Preview at the link below.

    Also, do we know that Hattie’s question was referring to basset? I wasn’t sure who “this guy” was supposed to be.

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  35. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    Have never heard of persimmon pudding. Sounds like there is some cultural context that goes with it. Can anyone explain?

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  36. brian stouder said on October 27, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    I thought Hattie meant the whack-Canadian radio guy….and in fact his employer asked exactly that question and the answer was “Hell no!”

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  37. Jolene said on October 27, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    Here’s a short article about a study showing that raising taxes on cigarettes not only leads people to smoke less but also to drink less. Am posting not because I think this is so important for you to know but because it gives me a basis for exclaiming over the price of cigarettes in New York, which, according to this article is $14.50/pack. Yikes! This helps to explain why that guy who was killed by the police when they tried to arrest him for selling individual cigarettes undertook the activity in the first place.

    I haven’t bought smoked for years and years, so I have no idea what they cost elsewhere, but this knocked me out.

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  38. Basset said on October 27, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    Jolene, a persimmon in this context is a more or less round soft fruit about the size of a large cherry tomato, with a single seed in the middle. You press them through a sieve or a potato ricer to extract the pulp, then mix that with sugar, spices, and condensed milk in a flat pan – cut the result up like brownies, it’s firm and not really a pudding texture. Unripe persimmons taste strongly of alum.

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  39. Deborah said on October 27, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    Judy Busy, your construction project looks great, thanks for giving us a peek on your Facebook page.

    I had a day from hell on our construction site in Abiquiu. Today was the big concrete pour for the foundation. I had to escort a bunch of trucks up to the site and sweated out weather they’d be able to make it on the steep gravel roads. I woke up at 3am this morning worried about it. Finally got up at 5, left Santa Fe at 7 and arrived in Abiquiu at 8. Trucks had no problems but the biggest bugaboo was that I had to write a check for the concrete to the last truck concrete driver who was up there. It was a big check that gave me pause writing it out. Well a couple of hours later after he left, the driver called me and said he lost my check and was going to drive back out for me to write another one. Yeah right. I said he didn’t need to do that, I would stop by the concrete company on my way back to Santa Fe and write them a new check. He hemmed and hawed, said that would be too late for them to close out the books. Finally I told the guy in no uncertain terms that I would in no way write another check and give it to him, that I would drop off a new check at the company office. Then I got on my phone immediately and stopped payment on the check I had given him. Then I called the concrete company and they didn’t know anything about the lost check because the guy hadn’t showed up yet. I had to pay a $30 fee to stop payment on the original check and when I got to the concrete company to write them a new check, they deducted $30 from the total. So either the driver was scamming me or he was trying to keep from letting his company know that he had lost the check in the first place. I’d like to think it was an honest mistake but I’m really skeptical. A couple of other construction glitches happened today that got rectified but boy oh boy was I sweating bullets over it for a while there. They remove the forms Thursday and do some more chores, Phase 1 (the foundation) should be finished a week from today, then the rest happens in the spring.

    Yeah, I wonder who Hattie was referring to??

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  40. Deborah said on October 27, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    whether, not weather

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  41. MichaelG said on October 27, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    Well played, Deborah.

    Judybusy, I clicked on your page and was politely informed that it was unavailable.

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  42. Sherri said on October 27, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    This article about spending on Washington legislative races only names one name, that of Tom Steyer, who’s contributing to Democratic candidates. I live in one of the districts where he’s spending money, in a state senate race, and let me say, he’s not the only one spending money. There has been a ton of money spent on behalf of the Republican candidate, and no name has been attached to that spending. During the primary I mentioned a mailer by a PAC in this race that accused the Democrat of being a closet Republican; there have been more in this vein.

    I’ve never seen so much money spent in a state senate race. My phone is ringing off the hook, my mailbox is stuffed with mailers, and multiple TV ads have been running. In the end, I don’t think it’s going to matter; I suspect the incumbent Republican is going to win, not because he’s a Republican (in fact, probably in spite that he’s a Republican), but because he’s well known in the community (he’s big in the local soccer community) and the challenger, while from the area originally, only recently returned to the area after serving in the Navy. I hope I’m wrong, because I disagree with the incumbent’s politics, particularly when it comes to the budget, but I don’t think I’m wrong. It will be interesting to see what happens if the Republicans do get control of the legislature, given their complete aversion to taxes, because the state Supreme Court has already declared the legislature in contempt over their failure to meet their constitutional obligation to fund basic education.

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