So there I was at the oral surgeon’s office, sitting with Kate in the recovery cubicle, enjoying her goofy post-anesthesia brain, remembering my own experience getting my own wisdom teeth extracted in 1978. Like me, one of the first things she asked when she came to was to see her teeth.

The nurse showed me mine; they were in fragments. The doctor told Kate hers were biohazards, and had been thrown away. “Like any body part,” I said.

“Don’t people keep their placenta?” she mumbled through the gauze. Funny what bobs to the surface when drugs are roiling everything underneath.

There was a sign in the recovery area, asking that out of respect for everyone’s privacy, please refrain from taking photos or video. Jesus Christ. I guess everyone wants to get the next “David after dentist” Youtube hit.

She sailed through it, all things considered. Swelling’s not too bad, not even much pain, but we still have tomorrow to get through.

One last note: As I was getting ready to leave her in the operating room, the nurse wheeled in the cart with the instruments. They were covered with a paper towel, and it slid a little, revealing the serious heft of the handles. All at once, I remembered my own surgery, the nurse slipping the needle into my arm just as another one pulled the towel off the tray to reveal…instruments of torture. Hammers, chisels and is that a fucking miniature maul? It was.

No wonder I had a chinstrap bruise for a week.

Closing in on the end of a project about Proposal 1 in Michigan; the first two parts will be published at 6 a.m., and y’all can enjoy the fun I had trying to translate this into plain English. Policy ain’t my forte; I prefer people, and that’s my next assignment. Whew.

So, bloggage? Sure.

Eternally starring in the action movie running in his own head, a would-be hero suffers a flesh wound when his gun goes off in church. During the Easter vigil, no less.

The Rolling Stone report was horrifying, mainly because no one got fired, but also because the offending writer notes how hard it’s all been on her, so that’s good to know. This Slate story rounds up a few reactions that track with my own.

I’ve never heard of the Food Babe, but if this takedown is accurate, that’s probably for the best.

Onward. Good Tuesdays to all.

Posted at 12:47 am in Current events, Same ol' same ol' |

48 responses to “Sockets.”

  1. Sherri said on April 7, 2015 at 1:12 am

    The Food Babe takedown is quite accurate. Stay far away from her advice.

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  2. Dorothy said on April 7, 2015 at 6:06 am

    When I had my son (30 years ago tomorrow), it was my second C-section. So after he was born and the room got busy closing up my uterus, etc., I glanced around as best I could from my flat-on-bed position. I craned my neck in one direction and promptly spied a tray on the floor with lots of bloody gauzey rolls. My first thought was “Oh God, who left that mess here?!” and then the realization came to me that they came from ME. I shut my eyes and put my head back in the staring-straight-at-the-ceiling position and did not ralph. Thank God.

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  3. Alan Stamm said on April 7, 2015 at 7:16 am

    “The most consequential decision Rolling Stone made was made at the beginning: to settle on a narrative and go in search of the story that would work just right for that narrative. . . .

    “Let your reporting drive the narrative, rather than the other way around.” — Jay Rosen, NYU journalism, professor

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  4. Basset said on April 7, 2015 at 7:36 am

    The NRA convention’s here this week. Surely our streets will be safer.

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  5. David C. said on April 7, 2015 at 7:40 am

    I never heard of Food Babe until she dissed Newcastle Brown Ale. That earned her a quick trip to my personal shit list. That strain of food fear mongering is pretty common.

    I don’t have wisdom teeth. I seem to not have all the body parts allotted to a normal human. When I had abdominal surgery many years ago, the surgeon asked my mom when I had my appendix removed because I didn’t have one. I had never had an appendectomy.

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  6. Wim said on April 7, 2015 at 8:24 am

    I never developed a right lateral incisor and the left was, as a dentist said, ‘vestigial.’ It left a lot of room for my teeth to drift and I grew up a stereotypical gap-toothed hillbilly. Yet there wasn’t enough room for wisdom teeth that ultimately had to be surgically extracted under the gas.

    I definitely had an appendix, which definitely burst while I tried to convince my skeptical parents that I definitely had a problem. My advice is, if you are ever to develop acute appendicitis, do not do so on the same night that Colonel Flagg gets it on M*A*S*H.

    How’s that book coming, Mild Jeff?

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  7. beb said on April 7, 2015 at 8:24 am

    I found the critic of the “Food Babe” to be insufferable smug and condescending. They can both go to foodie hell for all I care.

    Ever since “mistakes were made…” was offered as a legitimate excuse for government bungling no one ever has to suffer from their own stupidity ever again.

    “Gun goes off in church service”: Don’t guns comes with safeties? Don’t people ever think to use them? And shouldn’t people who fail to safety their guns be charged with reckless endangerment? He was just lucky that no one was injured. If there were any justice in the world he ought to have shot his balls off.

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  8. alex said on April 7, 2015 at 8:25 am

    Bassett, just be thankful you don’t live in Kansas where no one needs a permit to carry a concealed weapon. Not that a permit is any protection against guns going off in church or at Walmart or wherever you might find half-cocked idiots who think they need firepower their pants.

    The state that doesn’t teach Darwin may soon lead the nation in Darwin Awards.

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  9. Suzanne said on April 7, 2015 at 8:28 am

    I never heard of the Food Babe either, but if she says coffee is bad, I don’t like her. I need my morning Java or things get ugly.

    I read about the guy in church with a gun in his pants. In what world do you need a loaded gun in your pants at an Easter vigil service? Or is it the marriage of NRA-esque paranoia and the assurance that Liberals want to stomp on religious freedoms? “By gum, when they come, I’ll be ready for ’em!” Unless I accidently shoot a body part off first….

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  10. Jeff Borden said on April 7, 2015 at 8:42 am


    You may be safe on the streets thanks to those NRA gun-toters, but be careful if you go to church. (What a dumb story from Easter. . .celebrating the resurrection of the Prince of Peace by putting a gun in your pocket.)

    If you happen to see Ted Nugent, who no doubt will be hurling his usual nonsense at the ammosexuals, please kick him in the balls as hard as you can. I’ll give you $10.

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  11. Tim said on April 7, 2015 at 9:51 am

    Here’s a tangential question from the Food Babe takedown: When and why did it become common for the word “wonder” to take a question mark when used in a sentence? Like this from the Food Babe piece: “I wonder if anybody’s warned her about good old dihydrogen monoxide?” I think “I wonder …” there is a statement, not question (“Do you wonder…?”) But I’ve seen that usage all over the place, even in newspapers and magazines that still have copy editors. Is that the accepted use now?

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  12. Kirk said on April 7, 2015 at 10:13 am

    You’re right. The fact that people don’t know how to use punctuation doesn’t make its misuse acceptable, though, sadly, our language seems to devolve out of such massive ignorance.

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  13. nancy said on April 7, 2015 at 10:19 am

    While not defending it, I will say that sometimes people use punctuation to indicate the “sound” they want the reader to “hear” in their heads. So even though that sentence is formally declarative, he may want people to hear him putting a little rising inflection on the end.

    Of course, all the usual caveats apply: You gotta know the rules before you break ’em, etc. But I’ve always believed good writing is heard as much as read. At least it is to me, when I read.

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  14. Deborah said on April 7, 2015 at 10:31 am

    Anyone who calls themselves “Babe” anything is suspect in my book. That goes for the Science Babe too.

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  15. Bitter Scribe said on April 7, 2015 at 10:47 am

    The gun-in-church story has a paywall. Did he get charged with anything?

    (Probably not. These idiots never are.)

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  16. 4dbirds said on April 7, 2015 at 11:00 am

    My daughter has no wisdom teeth. We think the radiation for cancer treatment as a toddler zapped them in the bud. My oldest son had extra teeth in his gums and had to have oral surgury for his wisdom teeth and those extra ‘shark’ teeth. Teeth are funny. Don’t they grow in some tumors?

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  17. Connie said on April 7, 2015 at 11:14 am

    That NRA conference should be safe, Bassett. No operational guns allowed, firing pins must be removed.

    This from the group that fights to make sure guns are allowed everywhere.

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  18. Bitter Scribe said on April 7, 2015 at 11:43 am

    4dbirds @16: That’s called a “teratoma.” It can grow teeth and hair. Nasty things (although I don’t suppose there are any nice tumors). If you Google it, don’t look at the pictures.

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  19. alex said on April 7, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Teratoma art on Etsy:

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  20. Heather said on April 7, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    Not clicking on that link, Alex!

    I actually got to keep my teeth after I asked for them. My then-boyfriend wanted them–he had a creepy side, I guess. I was OK with it as long as he promised not to clone me.

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  21. LAMary said on April 7, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Younger son Pete is missing a tooth. He got shorted one tooth in the genetic crap shoot. This came in handy when he broke his jaw and was wired shut. We could slide a straw into that space where an adult tooth should have been and he could drink whatever he put in the blender.

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  22. Andrea said on April 7, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    I think “Sex and the City” and all of Carrie’s “I couldn’t help but wonder…” columns contributed to the use of the question mark. Here’s a list of all of them from the series:

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  23. Connie said on April 7, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    I have spent the last couple of days riveted to the online argument over the recently released Hugo Award nominations which were, well, hijacked by a right wing group of writers fighting SJWs (social justice warriors, you should know this,) and succeeded in successfully gaming the rules. And bringing in gamer-gate and along the way. Even in the Guardian now., .

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  24. Kirk said on April 7, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    Not that I want to read a bunch of “Sex and the City” quotes, but the ones I read all used (or didn’t use) a question mark properly, unlike the Science Babe, whose misuse not only doesn’t look right, but also doesn’t sound right.

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  25. Deborah said on April 7, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    I was hospitalized because I had a kidney stone when I was a freshman in college, and passed it, after they examined it to see what kind it was and cleaned it up they gave it to me in a jar to keep. I actually asked for it. It was about 1/4″ in diameter and had spikes sticking out of it. Ouch. I have no idea what I did with it, I don’t remember, that was 45 years ago. Gross huh.

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  26. Kirk said on April 7, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    When I was 5, I requested that my tonsils be preserved after their removal, but my parents didn’t bother to tell the surgeon. My grandfather, though, did have a jar with gallstones in it.

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  27. brian stouder said on April 7, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Deborah and Kirk – egad!! I don’t keep ‘spare parts’.

    And indeed, I’m not even a “watcher” – you know – the sort of folks who can stomach watching themselves get stitches, or giving birth, or whatever else. After eleventy-seven donations at Red Cross, I still never (ever!) watch ‘em stick me, and I almost certainly never will

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  28. Charlotte said on April 7, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Interesting take on the UVA situation:

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  29. Dexter said on April 7, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    nance’s account of the instrument tray got me thinking…when that oral surgeon in Vietnam yanked my wisdoms, what if the teeth broke into pieces? All that guy brought to the chair were those huge dental pliers. Wow, that could have turned serious.

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  30. Sherri said on April 7, 2015 at 6:37 pm

    Carly Fiorina wants to make sure that nobody thinks she’s the smartest candidate in the Republican race for President:

    Let’s see. Ruined HP. Was a terrible candidate for the US Senate. I don’t think she has to say or do anything; nobody is going to think she’s the smartest candidate.

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  31. David C. said on April 7, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    My mom’s tale of medical marvel comes from her having a bloody nose. They couldn’t stop the bleeding and had to pack off her sinuses. When they took the gauze out a week later, she said it was like the grossest magic trick ever. They pulled yards and yards of bloody gauze out of her nose.

    Oy, demon sheep lady is a real piece of work, isn’t she?

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  32. Julie Robinson said on April 7, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    After recent experiences at work with HP products I wouldn’t vote for Fiorina with a gun to my head. The most egregious is the printer that won’t print at all if one of the four cartridges is low on ink. If the yellow cartridge is out, you can’t print, even with the black, until you replace all three color cartridges. I didn’t buy the stupid thing, but it was dirt cheap upfront and she thought she got a great deal. It replaced a perfectly wonderful laser printer, too. Gah!!!!!

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  33. Connie said on April 7, 2015 at 8:07 pm

    Here’s my tale of medical marvel: I had a skin graft today. Not with skin taken from elsewhere on my body, but with skin grown from placental material, called Amnion. It was a painless hospital outpatient procedure done with local anesthetic. The wound vac is on top of it. I was home in time for lunch.

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  34. Sherri said on April 7, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    What has happened to HP is just sad. HP used to make hardware that was indestructible and wonderful. I still have the HP-11C programmable scientific calculator that I bought when I was a sophomore in college, and it works just as well today as it did then (I’ve replaced the battery once.) I bought the HP after having multiple TI calculators crap out on me; TI keyboards were notoriously bad. When I worked at Adobe on the printer side of the business, HP still made good, quality printers, and had the highest standards of any of our OEMs. Now HP makes crap and has no idea what kind of company they are.

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  35. Jolene said on April 7, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    I’m bewildered by the idea that Fiorina thinks she should run for the presidency. She must have been an accomplished person at some point to become the CEO of HP, but she failed in that job and in her quest for a seat in the Senate. Even worse, she is, perhaps, the least pleasant person to have sought the office in, at least, the last few election cycles. She is crabby and arrogant, just not an appealing candidate in any respect.

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  36. brian stouder said on April 7, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    I think the Republican’s best possibility would be John Kasich of Ohio*, despite being terrible on public education, since the Democrats are just as weak on public education.

    If not Kasich of Ohio, then maybe a surprise pop-up like Senator Dan Coats, who looks a little more adult, since skipping signing that stupid ‘Dear Ayatollah’ letter.

    I think HRC is just absolutely IT for the Democratic party – but if we had to look past her for whatever reason, a guy like James Webb could certainly make it…although one wonders what distinction would exist between him and your run-of-the-mill national Republican candidate. (I really like Senator Warren, but I believe she doesn’t want the White House, just now)

    *Kasich’s credibility as a national candidate is assured by being governor of all-important Ohio, and he should never allow his name to appear further than one sentence away from the buckeye state’s name.

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  37. MarkH said on April 8, 2015 at 3:49 am

    Deborah @25, are you saying you completely passed a kidney stone, and they still retrieved it? From where? I always understood once they passed into the bladder, stones dissolved in the urine, and what may be left goes out with normal urination.

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  38. MarkH said on April 8, 2015 at 3:50 am

    So long, Stan. You were brilliant.

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  39. Dexter said on April 8, 2015 at 4:07 am

    Vagina Dentata. It’s real.

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  40. Dexter said on April 8, 2015 at 4:15 am

    So the “truth” comes out: it was not “the devil-made-me-do-it!”
    Brian Williams says that maybe a brief brain tumor messed up his head.

    After this, I am thinking Lester Holt has the “permanent” job in the near future. 🙁

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  41. MarkH said on April 8, 2015 at 4:22 am

    Yesterday, we also lost James Best.

    Looks like now you’ll STAY in that coffin, Jeff Myrtlebank. RIP.

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  42. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on April 8, 2015 at 7:02 am

    Stan Freberg’s “Green Christmas” was an annual tradition at our campus radio station. Brilliance.

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  43. alex said on April 8, 2015 at 7:45 am

    My parents and their friends used to listen to Freberg’s comedy albums, and I bought his autobiography back in the ’80s and thoroughly enjoyed it — he told some rollicking good tales about working in the advertising industry and in the early age of television.

    So the GOP has nothing to show for itself so far but Cruz, Paul and Fiorina — all prickly personalities, all full of themselves, all widely despised by everyone whose toes they stepped on while tap-dancing their way into the limelight, and all hawking simplistic world views to a public whose intelligence they don’t respect in the least. Where’s Donald Trump? He’s not one to let himself be outshone by the likes of those three.

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  44. beb said on April 8, 2015 at 8:58 am

    I have one of those HP printers at work which shuts down when one of the cartridges runs dry. I consider it a mixed blessing. I like that it stops printing when there isn’t enough ink left to print the next page completely. As a fan publisher I have had to throw out so many pages which were badly printed because one of the colors ran out but the printer kept going. On the other hand when I absolutely needs pages printed and it doesn’t matter if they are printed in black-only it’s frustrating that you can’t shift to “print in black only” mode after one of the color cartridges runs dry. As for having to replace all the color cartridges if one runs dry… I think I had to pull out and re-insert the other colors to get it to resume printing.

    One of the greatest proofs for evolution is our very own body. Because if there were an Intelligent Designer don’t you think our body would be better designed? The drain for our sinuses is located about half way up our face so it never drains properly. And it’s located there because that’s where the sinus’s drain is located on four-legged animals. Likewise back pain because our backs were not designed for standing up.

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  45. Deborah said on April 8, 2015 at 8:58 am

    Mark, this may be TMI. When I was in the hospital they made me pee through a sieve. One time out popped this stone, by that time it was covered in tissue that had scrapped off during it’s travels through my urinary tract. It didn’t really hurt at that point, just felt weird. Sorry, but you asked.

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  46. Julie Robinson said on April 8, 2015 at 9:11 am

    These days they want to capture the stone so they can analyze it. Depending on its composition, you may need to change your diet or meds. I haven’t had one myself, but know several folks who have, and they all say it’s the worst. pain. ever.

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  47. Connie said on April 8, 2015 at 9:21 am

    My husband had his first ever kidney stone last summer and it knocked him right over. Within an hour of the first pain he was curled up in a dark room saying go away. He ended up passing it at the emergency room and was instantly back to his usual self.

    He did some research on urinary tract health. He wanted to tell me about the amazing discovery he had made about the positive impact of cranberry juice on urinary tract health. Then he wanted to know why I was laughing. I told him I was quite sure that most women already know this.

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  48. brian stouder said on April 8, 2015 at 9:24 am

    Well, I have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon, so now I have some questions for her!

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