Time runs in one direction.

Before the rainbows fade or are pushed aside by the next news event coming down the pike, I have to spare a moment more for the people who are so unhinged by the SSM decision. I always ask, what do they want? And every so often one will answer, in so many words: For homosexuals (because it’s always “homosexuals,” never “gay” or “LGBT”) to just go away. Back into the closets, the bars, the bearded marriages, the three-martini cocktail hours and all the rest of it.

How can they not see it? The world never runs that way. Well, let them yearn.

All-lite bloggage today, because why not:

I’ve said before that Reductress is the Onion of women’s magazines, and here you go: This beautiful destination wedding really inconvenienced everyone.

Guests were told to come “dressed to impress,” looking sleek and sharp in their black tie attire at the base of the mountain, though many became noticeably fatigued and regretful of their footwear choices as they hiked up to the ceremony site.

“I shouldn’t be doing this at my age,” said the groom’s grandmother at the beginning of the ascent. “I’ll be lucky if I don’t collapse a lung.” She did, in fact, collapse both lungs.

“We miss her dearly,” says the groom now, looking at a framed picture of his grandmother. “But she died doing what she loved: watching me get married.”

One of the trainers at my gym got married at a five-star resort in the Dominican Republic. I’m sure it was a lovely ceremony.

Hey, e’ry body, watch this: The first fireworks casualty of the season. (OK, so not lite, but funny in a newspaper-y sort of way.

Martin Scorsese talks about “The Third Man,” one of my favorite movies.

Another damn basement hog in Detroit! (OK, Highland Park. Practically Detroit.) Three makes a trend, so I’m waiting.

Posted at 12:07 am in Current events |

35 responses to “Time runs in one direction.”

  1. MichaelG said on June 30, 2015 at 12:37 am

    We had a fireworks self-immolator last week. Maybe this guy doesn’t strictly count since he wasn’t setting off fireworks. In the blithe, optimistic spirit of all the do it yourself networks, he was busy making them in his garage to set off later. Maybe the recipe was unclear or something. The results weren’t, however. Burns over most of his body, hands . . . Well, you get the idea. You just have to shake your head. I mean there’s no lack of volunteers.

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  2. Jolene said on June 30, 2015 at 1:07 am

    The three accidents described in that article . . .

    Yikes, humans find an amazing variety of ways to kill and injure themselves.

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  3. Dexter said on June 30, 2015 at 2:27 am

    So since gays have sort of taken over lately, we should scour the tabloids for some uplifting news regarding straight, rich, white males with wives (just one apiece)…ah, here’s a nice story about a guy named Phil Mickelson, who has made tens of millions of dollars , parading the links with his man-boobs protruding from his polo shirts. But wait…uh oh…bad example. He wanted more. http://nypost.com/2015/06/29/phil-mickelson-tied-to-laundering-of-3m-in-sports-bets/

    A true genius comedian has passed. Jack Carter, who was on early TV shows for decades, has died. He was never “off”, he always brought it, he was funny as hell. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/30/arts/television/jack-carter-comedian-who-brought-his-rapid-fire-delivery-to-tv-dies-at-93.html

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  4. Wim said on June 30, 2015 at 2:53 am

    We had a friend calling during the Pride parade in NYC, wherein she was marching, giving us a winsome vicarious tenuous feeling for it. Best Pride ever, I’m told. Something to remember as everyone lines up to piss all over it. The forces of reaction are, as ever, armed and dangerous and there is a long hot summer before us. The churches are starting to burn.

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  5. adrianne said on June 30, 2015 at 6:06 am

    So here’s my favorite moment from NYC’s Pride Parade on Sunday (before it, our governor, Andrew Cuomo, fresh with his newly minted powers to marry, officiated at a ceremony for two male friends at the Stonewall Inn): This cop has some moves! http://time.com/3940192/nypd-officer-dances-nyc-gay-pride-parade/

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  6. alex said on June 30, 2015 at 7:15 am

    I’m amazed at the number of commenters at web sites and newspapers who accuse the LGBT movement of “bullying” them. Obviously people who are used to having it the other way around. Or picking up the same talking points from God knows where.

    Dear Prudence is currently running some of her best wedding advice columns of all time. My fave this time around: A groom’s sister wants a couple to put their wedding date on hold until she can afford her boob job because she doesn’t want to be memorialized in wedding pictures as her former self. The groom is willing to indulge it, even pay for the boob job. The bride, who wrote, is incensed as you might imagine.

    I still think the most haunting story was one from a few years ago where a bride’s father was a burn victim with facial injuries. The groom’s mother wanted her to disinvite him to the wedding and not have him walk her down the aisle because she didn’t want the spectacle at the event she was paying for. The groom refused to take her side and tell his mother to butt out. Prudie advised her that if her MIL gets her way on this, just imagine what it’s going to be like dealing with this harridan for the rest of her life, not to mention her pushover of a husband.

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  7. alex said on June 30, 2015 at 8:24 am

    Oh… and a continuation of yesterday’s discussion of Douthat. This one makes a much more convincing case that shifting economics and the decline of the middle class, not feminism and sexual libertinism, are to blame for the collapse of marriage as the institution it once was:

    College graduates are more likely than ever to marry college graduates, as Charles Murray has written. High school dropouts are more likely to marry high school dropouts.

    Think of marriage like any other contract or investment. It’s most likely to happen when the gains are big. So we should expect marriages among low-income Americans to decline if women perceive declining gains from hitching themselves to the men around them.

    That’s precisely what we’ve seen…


    What about the rise in out-of-wedlock births? Shouldn’t feminists and liberals at least have to answer for that? Well, no. Such births occur at a higher rate in conservative states than liberal ones. Same with divorces, by the way. Indeed, Massachusetts — the first state to legalize same-sex marriage, in 2004 — boasts some of the lowest rates nationally on both measures.

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  8. beb said on June 30, 2015 at 8:36 am

    “Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a firecracker out of my ear…”

    Why make your own fireworks when they are so cheap to buy? Unless you’re trying to make ones that are illegally large, in which case… just desserts.

    I never understood the vehement loathing evangelicals have against gays and same-sex marriage. How does they wedding ruin my marriage? And aren’t the people ruining marriage those like Donald Trump (3) or Newt Gingrich (serial adulter). Hoe sacred came marriage be when men trade-in wives the way they trade-in cars?

    And what exactly does the “pro-life” crowd want? And why does it always seem to end up including making birth control/family planning as hard to get as an abortion. And why are they so indifferent after the kid is born? Of course you do get an idea when their conversations wander from abortion to birth control to women having promiscuous sex. And what wrong with that? Men have promiscuous sex all the time and you rarely hear anyone complain about that. And then you realize that it’s all about preserving the patriarchy. Can’t have women making their own decisions…

    There was a map published recently of states and their percentage of “poor” (meaning needs to rebuild from the ground up) roads. Washington, DC topped the list at 92%. Michigan at 40% was in the top five. When I was growing up in Indiana the joke was you knew when you had crossed into Michigan because the roads were better. 40 years later the joke has turned around, now Indiana has the better roads. Meanwhile the GOP controlled legislature is trying to figure out how to fix the roads without raising taxes. The house wants to steal money from a number of other funds including the EITC. I thought that was a Republican idea to get people off welfare by making work more rewarding. So the houses plan is to rob the poor… The senate, surprisingly, is favoring just raising the decades old gas tax. It has the advantage of being an in-place tax collection system and puts the burden of paying for new roads on those who use them, but I don’t see it happening. Grover Norquist won’t let it.

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  9. Heather said on June 30, 2015 at 8:44 am

    I stopped by the Pride parade here in Chicago on my way to the beach, and the joy was so infectious, anyone who didn’t catch it must have had a heart of stone. I started to tear up, it was all so moving.

    I posted a couple photos to my Instagram feed, including one of a Christian congregation marching with a giant blow-up Jesus. I promptly got a comment that the Bible spoke out against homosexuality and not to shove that kind of thing in her face, etc etc. I responded that the Bible says a lot of crazy things, and that she was obviously trolling certain hashtags (so none of this “don’t shove this in my face,” not to mention it’s social media and basically your choice to look at it). Then she told me fine, I could sleep with a man (of course she assumed I was a gay man) and go to hell. There are a lot of things that scare me about life and death, but homosexuality and the possibility of hell are not among them.

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  10. Kirk said on June 30, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Dexter@3: That’s a great team picture embedded in that Carter obit. I recognize everyone except maybe the guy on the far right, unless it’s Max Baer.

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  11. Jeff Borden said on June 30, 2015 at 9:11 am

    I’m with Beb. I’ve never understood why those who are so vehemently opposed to abortion are so reluctant to do everything possible to prevent unwanted pregnancies beyond advocating for abstinence. It makes no sense unless you reach the conclusion that these people simply do not want others to have fun with sex. Or, sex for fun. The strain of prudishness continues to run through American culture.

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  12. wade said on June 30, 2015 at 9:50 am

    Kirk @10: That’s Dick Shawn, probably best known as Lorenzo St. DuBois (LSD), the hippie Hitler in the original film of “The Producers”.

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  13. Icarus said on June 30, 2015 at 9:59 am

    Nancy’s link to the destination wedding story made me think of this one a friend posted on FB a few weeks ago…the author is naturally getting blasted in the comments


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  14. adrianne said on June 30, 2015 at 9:59 am

    One sign of hope: As all of these crazy abortion restrictions start making their way through court, they’re being struck down. The Supreme Court just put on hold the disastrous Texas law that threatened to shutter numerous abortion clinics: http://www.law360.com/articles/673739/high-court-stays-texas-abortion-law

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  15. brian stouder said on June 30, 2015 at 10:12 am

    That was a great obit, indeed.

    I’m now one of those people (of a certain age) who scans the obits, and last Sunday two different people, who were neighbors 40 years ago, passed away.

    And as surprising as that news was, reading their obits I learned that one had been preceded in death by one of their kids, who was in my age range (in fact, he had passed away several years ago).

    In any case, time does indeed ‘run in one direction’, and if at the end we can have an obit that makes people smile (as Mr Carter’s does), then it’s all good

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  16. MichaelG said on June 30, 2015 at 10:37 am

    Alex @#6. Don’t underestimate those people’s ability to play the victim.

    Brian, I’m not usually superstitious but for some reason I can’t bring myself to read the obits.

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  17. Bitter Scribe said on June 30, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Opponents of gay marriage are offended that gays exist. Period, full stop.

    Beb & JB: What I find ironic is that Candies, the company that paid Bristol Palin obscene amounts of money to be an “abstinence counselor,” markets sexy clothing and shoes to young girls with ads that are just this side of pornography. If there’s a better illustration of the schizo attitude toward sexuality, especially among the young, that we’re afflicted with in this country, I haven’t seen it.

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  18. Judybusy said on June 30, 2015 at 11:54 am

    I wish Maggie Jochild would visit and analizye that info, Bitter Scribe. She’d make it all fit together in the patriarchy’s twisted world view, no doubt.

    My partner and I usually don’t make it to Pride, what with her working e/o weekend and dislike of crowds. We had planned to go this year, but I sprained my knee on Saturday and didn’t think getting out there on crutches would be a good idea.

    I had the lovliest, most wonderful party on Saturday to celebrate the half-century mark. On Monday, on my actual birthday, my evangelical little brother didn’t call, send a card or message me. He did post a bizarre “Just thinking here” piece on if same-sex marriage is allowed, why can’t siblings or parent and children get married. Whe I called him out on it, pointed out he took time to post this hateful message but didn’t wish me a happy 50th, he replied: “I wrote most of this a long time ago. You obviously didn’t read it to deem it hateful. If you did you wouldn’t have posted a word that proves my emotional coercion point. I didn’t write this for you, but to let reveal some things people don’t mention or talk about. Again, is merely questioning why we believe what we believe. We’re all free to believe what we want. As far as your birthday, did you thank the One who gave you life? I’m sorry I’m not good at expressing love, but He is if you give him a chance.”

    I can’t even. And I see that several of my relatives have “liked” the post. Ack! Thank goodness for chosen family and loving friends.

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  19. alex said on June 30, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    Judybusy, I want to smack the One who gave him life. Or that attitude anyway. My deepest condolences. And my heartiest congratulations on your fiftieth!

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  20. Deborah said on June 30, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Happy Birthday Judy Busy. Sorry about your brother. I wish people like that would wake up and realize how hateful and unchristian they sound, but of course they think just the opposite.

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  21. Deborah said on June 30, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    We are celebrating again today. Little Bird has been approved to visit her previous Dr in St. Louis, by Medicaid in NM. This Dr is one of the worlds leading specialists in her condition, NF. So this is good, good news. They won’t cover all of the cost of the Dr visit and we don’t know exactly how much yet, but at least now we know this can actually happen. Since this guy was her doctor when we lived in St. Louis, he has all of her previous records etc. This makes so much sense, rather than continuing to send her to Drs here in NM who don’t know much about NF.

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  22. Charlotte said on June 30, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    Happy birthday JudyBusy … and fie on your brother.

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  23. Judybusy said on June 30, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Deborah and Little Bird, that is truly great news! I hope your doctor can bring you some relief.

    Thank for the birthday wishes and sympathy!

    And from the post, I feel so sorry for the pig. I hope she gets to live out her life in the natural air.

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  24. MichaelG said on June 30, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    Happy Birthday, Judybusy. (I’m out of exclamation points for the year) Nice brother.

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  25. BethB said on June 30, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    Happy Birthday, Judybusy. You deserve a better brother; he should have your back. Too bad he is still with the Dark Ages in his thinking. His loss!

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  26. MichaelG said on June 30, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    Governor Brown signed the vaccine bill this AM.

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  27. adrianne said on June 30, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Happy 5-0 Judybusy! Unfortunately, we can’t pick our blood relations, but we can ignore their ignorance.

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  28. Peter said on June 30, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Happy Birthday Judy – Here’s hoping that it’s super good fun.

    Great news for Little Bird – hope she can see the doctor before St. Louis turns into a summer sauna.

    The Third Man is one of my favorite movies as well. I had an aunt who lived in Vienna, and we visited her in 1965 (long before I saw the film). Even though the war was over for 20 years, there were still piles of rubble that hadn’t been cleared away yet. Although, to be fair, she lived in the old Soviet sector, and they were 10 years behind the other parts of the city.

    For you trivia fans:

    1. The grave shown in the film is now occupied by a gentleman named Heinrich Grun (in English, Henry Green).

    2. All of the German spoken in the film is improvised – there was no script for those parts.

    3. The movie theater in the film still exists and shows the film every week. I saw Raising Arizona in there.

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  29. brian stouder said on June 30, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    Happy Five – 0, indeed, Judybusy!

    When the necessity of communicating with that brother arises, I’d make an absolute point of using the term “jiggery pokery”, and accuse him of having apple-sauce for brains

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  30. Deborah said on June 30, 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Well that was creepy. My husband and I drove up to the mountains near the ski basin and the aspens are almost leafless because of an invasion of tent caterpillars. Little Bird and I were just up there 2 weeks ago and it was gorgeous. The aspen just have wispy leaf veins on them now, I’ve never seen anything like it. Caterpillars are everywhere. I can’t believe how fast that happened. Hanging on the ends of branches are gross webs (tents) just crawling with worms. Ugh. Here’s a link, you may have to answer a stupid question to be able to read the article http://www.abqjournal.com/605958/news/caterpillars-invade-feast-on-aspens-north-of-santa-fe.html.

    Peter, St. Louis is already a sauna, Little Bird was there a couple of weeks ago for a wedding. I go back to Chicago in a couple of weeks and I’m dreading the midwestern summer humidity. We had 10-17% humidity here a couple of days ago.

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  31. Sherri said on June 30, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    The ACLU holds a tele-conference every year at the end of the SCOTUS term with the legal director of the ACLU, Stephen Shapiro. Unsurprisingly, he was very happy about Obergefell, but pointed out that the work was not done just because same sex marriage was now legal everywhere. Gay people are not protected from discrimination everywhere.

    The ACLU was on the losing side in the Walker v Sons of Confederate Veterans case (the license plate case), arguing that if a state is selling the specialty license plates, then they are billboards, not government speech, and protected by the first amendment. SCOTUS found otherwise, and Shapiro points out that state governments are now responsible for the contents of those specialty license plates, and should expect to be lobbied accordingly.

    Shapiro even found reason for hope in the awful Glossip ruling. Yes, the majority ruling was awful, but Ginsburg’s dissent indicated that she and Breyer are on the cusp of becoming capital punishment abolitionists, something SCOTUS hasn’t had since Stevens retired. If RBG and Breyer are there, he expects that Sotomayor and Kagan will follow, and that’s 4. There’s been a long process of carving out exceptions to capital punishment, with which Kennedy has concurred, like not executing juveniles and the mentally incapable. Now, Shapiro expects the process to move to the states; if more and more states end capital punishment, eventually he thinks the Court will end it everywhere.

    The other ray of hope in an otherwise disappointing ruling was in a concurrence by Kennedy in Davis v. Ayala. Kennedy’s concurrence addresses something unrelated to the question in the case(about peremptory challenges and racial composition of the jury), but about the conditions of Ayala’s imprisonment. Ayala has been kept in solitary confinement for most of his 25 years in prison, and Kennedy’s concurrence is all about how terrible solitary confinement is. So Shapiro sees an opening for starting to attack solitary confinement, probably starting with the carve out process that has happened with capital punishment.

    I’m always reminded whenever I listen to anyone with the ACLU that they are in it for the long haul. Change does not happen overnight, despite how fast it seems that same sex marriage occurred. They just keep plugging away, not just with litigation, but working with cities and states to change things to protect civil rights.

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  32. Deborah said on June 30, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    Marcus Bachmann files for divorce. Is this a joke? http://nytimes.com.co/marcus-bachmann-files-for-divorce-fresh-on-heels-of-scotus-ruling/

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  33. Deborah said on June 30, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    OK, according to Snopes it’s not true.

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  34. alex said on June 30, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    Aw, fuck Snopes. I hope this story has legs. It already has tentacles. And barnacles. Any listicles? Gay or no, he kept that old harridan looking hotter than a ho in a rap video.

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  35. Deborah said on June 30, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    We saw the movie “Inside Out” tonight. Cute. My favorite part was the trip through Abstract Thought.

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