This past weekend, the Nall-Derringer co-prosperity sphere marked 23 years of legal partnership, with an expensive meal at one-a them fancy places opening up all over the damn place. It was pricey, but I wore a secondhand dress I got on a Facebook swap site for $5, so it all balanced out. And we did order the tasting menu, which is never cheap. Ah well, special occasion and all, and there’s a jar of peanut butter in the pantry that will get us through the next few days. Plus, I never would have tried ivory salmon without it, so there’s also that.

The event in progress:


When you’ve been married 23 years, you may find the other people in the restaurant more interesting than the person across the table. So it was with me and that couple behind us; “I’m listening, dear” expression was on his face every time I looked his way. As for her, great barrel curls.

The night before we did a quick hop down to Fort Wayne, to watch Kate’s band kick off their summer tour in front of a hometown assembly, check out the reno progress on Alex’ house and just generally get away from it all. It’s always strange to go back to a place you once knew but don’t quite so much anymore. Calhoun Street was both the same and different, downtown looked like it had recently had an oxygen hit, but the north side between downtown and Coliseum Boulevard was pretty sad. Not Detroit-sad, but faded and tired and neglected. Up near Alex’ house, though? Boomtown. I know, I know — FREEDOM and FREE ENTERPRISE and all that, but it’s so, so wrong to let your city grow holes like this. Here’s hoping the coalescing of millennials and retiring boomers make the move-back-in trend into something sustainable, because all those beige subdivisions where farm fields used to be is a terrible mistake.

Let’s look at the soup course from Saturday, take our minds off our troubles a bit, eh?


That’s an asparagus-spinach soup, and all the drizzles and swirlies and so on are pretty much forgotten to me now. But it was tasty.

In between all the visiting and sight-seeing, we had dinner with Mark the Shark, who’s on the school board, and let me tell you, this voucher program the Indiana legislature pushed through in the name of FREEDOM and CHOICE? Worst idea ever. Why hasn’t anyone sued over this? I’d be livid at the thought of my tax money being redistributed to every religious grifter in the state, and taken away from my local public district. We have school-funding difficulties in Michigan, too, but this is next-level.

I cleaned and frolicked this weekend, and have little bloggage because I barely glanced at the papers. But there’s this, the Donald Trump-and-women piece everyone’s talking about:

What emerges from the interviews is a complex, at times contradictory portrait of a wealthy, well-known and provocative man and the women around him, one that defies simple categorization. Some women found him gracious and encouraging. He promoted several to the loftiest heights of his company, a daring move for a major real estate developer at the time.

He simultaneously nurtured women’s careers and mocked their physical appearance. “You like your candy,” he told an overweight female executive who oversaw the construction of his headquarters in Midtown Manhattan. He could be lewd one moment and gentlemanly the next.

It’s a much better piece than I expected.

Now time for “Game of Thrones” and the week ahead.

Posted at 12:04 am in Same ol' same ol' |

56 responses to “23.”

  1. Brandon said on May 16, 2016 at 12:41 am

    [B]ecause all those beige subdivisions where farm fields used to be is a terrible mistake.

    That’s what happens when things are built around cars. But they also boost the homeownership rate.

    Happy anniversary by the way.

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  2. Jolene said on May 16, 2016 at 1:26 am

    Happy anniversary. The soup looks delicious, and you both look very spiffy. Your various pictures of Alan have made me think he’s someone I’d like to know–a mensch with practical skills, a sense of humor, and good taste. Cleans up well. Of course, I think that about you, too, but you knew that.

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  3. Dexter said on May 16, 2016 at 5:00 am

    The man at your neighboring table appeared in my too-much-TV glazed eyeballs as hitting a roach using a clip. (This happens when a fella watches four hours of Viceland Network) As my eyes focussed a bit I saw he was simply enamored at his table-mate’s countenance or soft-speak or whatever. And may you two have another 23 and then take a cruise around the world on that brand new ship from France that’s taller than the Eiffel Tower. It should have all the bugs worked out by then.

    MichaelG: Day 8 , Amgen Tour d’California coming to Sacramento in a week. I watched Day 1 Sunday afternoon, San Diego loop, starting and finishing in San Diego. Peter Sagan…omg, he’s Superman. If you haven’t seen the finishing sprint, seek it out. Unbelievable. My favorite, the Manx Missile, Mark Cavendish , was squished up against a guard rail and couldn’t make the jailbreak dash happen at all. A pity. I love to see Cavendish explode at the finishing line. San Diego and the loop around north made for great scenic television. Damn, it’s pretty there. 🙂

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  4. Suzanne said on May 16, 2016 at 6:23 am

    I actually think the Ind voucher thing did go to court but was ruled A-OK. I am against it, and my kids went to a parochial school for part of their schooling. I know several parochial school teachers who say they really do not like the vouchers because it’s changed the way their school operates and the types of kids they get. Duh.

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  5. alex said on May 16, 2016 at 7:04 am

    So is this really a thing or just a WaPo thing? A Trump Democrat? And good heavens it’s reported from right nearby in Huntingtucky, birthplace of Dan Quayle and one-time world capital of autoerotic asphyxia for a few brief years when the bored menfolk were just dying to try it out for thrills.

    So the story works the disaffected-working-class angle on the Trump phenomenon while ignoring the more prevalent angry-white-yutz-who-listens-to-Limbaugh-and-Fox-too-much angle. Surely they could’ve found plenty of willing subjects of the other kind in Huntington.

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  6. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on May 16, 2016 at 7:09 am

    As morbidly compelling as the Trump & women story is, I’d hope it wouldn’t completely overshadow this NYT story from the weekend — the animated headers are appropriately haunting, yet informative, and the whole story is so beautifully assembled. The closing grace notes of two stories to bring a little light out of that darkness is, to me, a perfect conclusion, that doesn’t make everything better, but shows how it could be better if enough of us cared to try . . . or tried to care.


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  7. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on May 16, 2016 at 7:09 am

    Oh, and happy anniversary! Everything goes better with soup.

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  8. Heather said on May 16, 2016 at 7:47 am

    You guys look great! And 23 years is very impressive. Here’s to many more. And there’s nothing like a great secondhand dress score to make fancy food taste even better.

    Alex, responding to your comment from the last post, that’s so funny about our friends in common. I went to undergrad with Brooke at Northwestern and now we live only about a mile or so apart. I know Celia through her. Just saw them both (Celia for the first time in years) at a party at Brooke’s a couple months ago.

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  9. BethB from Indiana said on May 16, 2016 at 8:06 am

    Happy 23rd, Nancy, and many more! Our 23rd is coming in January. I love Jeff’s comment @7–soup does make things better. Comments or pics of the rest of the tasting menu??

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  10. Julie Robinson said on May 16, 2016 at 8:28 am

    Happy Anniversary, and I concur about soup Chicken tortilla in our house last night, with chicken we grilled for extra flavor, and the big box-o-chips from the Mexican grocery store.

    We were talking about the problems of the middle ring of the city this weekend, and noting its spread north of Coliseum also, where we live. Part of the problem, of course, is jobs. The JG picked up a story on Huntington, to our south, which is steeling itself for yet another factory closing. http://www.journalgazette.net/news/local/Worker-deals-with-UTEC-s-planned-closure-13065703.

    The worker interviewed complains about America becoming a weak country, and that he might support Trump despite being a Democrat. Like Trump is really gong to bring jobs back to this country from Mexico? Like anyone can?

    Anyway, on a happier note, this NPR story, set in my kids’ neighborhood: http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/05/15/477036910/an-all-volunteer-squad-of-farmers-is-turning-florida-lawns-into-food. The church mentioned is my daughter’s, and our son is also a volunteer with the Fleet Farming. It’s one of several similar programs down there in hipsterville.

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  11. Deborah said on May 16, 2016 at 8:36 am

    Happy 23rd. And please tell us more about this Facebook dress swap, I hadn’t heard of this kind of thing.

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  12. adrianne said on May 16, 2016 at 8:48 am

    Happy anniversary! I remember the Nall-Derringer nuptuals very well, since I was hugely pregnant at the time with my Matt. Still didn’t prevent me from dancing the night away!

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  13. Julie Robinson said on May 16, 2016 at 8:55 am

    There’s an entire universe of commerce going on in Facebook groups, from purses, cosmetics, high-end furniture, to garage sale sites. I was able to find a great kitchen table for Mom when she moved here, and briefly got sucked into following several groups. Then I realized I didn’t need anything else and got tired of wading through my cluttered feed, so I hid the groups.

    Lots of drama in some of them.

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  14. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 8:56 am

    Happy Anniversary, indeed!

    And indeed, truer words were never said about Fort Wayne, circa 2016:

    but the north side between downtown and Coliseum Boulevard was pretty sad.

    We live just north of the University of St Francis, so it has caught my attention that the neighborhoods just south of Spring Street have become especially rocky, with police-action shootings and/or other similar things occurring pretty much monthly, if not weekly.

    And the Fort Wayne City Council wants to represent people who DON’T live in Fort Wayne, over and above the people who elected them – and killed our latest annexation proposal.

    Aside from that, Grant (our 20 year old) and Chloe (our 11 year old) and I rolled down to Indy on Saturday, and took in a pretty good show. But let me tell you, constant high winds + mid-40’s air temp = coooolllllld!!!

    But Chloe is a trooper, and we were there to the end!

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  15. alex said on May 16, 2016 at 9:06 am

    Heather, I’ll pass the word along to Celia that we know each other through this community. Maybe we’ll get to meet in brick and mortar one day. Been meaning to write her and the old gang about coming over for a lake vacay this summer and a play date in my new kitchen. She’s the most incredible cook I’ve ever known. One time we were at a lake party and couldn’t get a pizza delivered, so our hosts let her have at it with their pantry. She assembled an amazing pizza with Bisquick and fresh veggies and cooked it on the grill and it was better than anything we could have gotten from a pizza place. If the world ever goes completely anarchic and we are left to fend for ourselves, I hope that I’ll have the good fortune to be stranded in her company.

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  16. Julie Robinson said on May 16, 2016 at 9:10 am

    We did the fiber arts celebration at Salomon Farm Park, and old barn also equals cold (especially for an 84 YO). It too was a darn good show, and is what prompted our discussion. Dupont Road is thriving and developing, and it’s pretty amazing that such a valuable piece of property was donated for preservation.

    Alex, I just noticed that I posted the same piece as you. Apologies.

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  17. alex said on May 16, 2016 at 9:23 am

    And Brian, we’re just outside what was the proposed annexation area, but it’s no wonder they wanted to glom onto that — all-new high-end housing with a population of about 24K.

    Some of my neighbors came up with a lame-brained scheme to get us annexed by Leo-Cedarville so that Fort Wayne could never have us, but it would have meant higher taxes just the same and we wouldn’t have gotten anything for it but regulations applicable to a high-density area rather than a rural one. It doesn’t make any sense that people in a rural area should have neighborhood code enforcement that fines you if your grass is taller than two inches when you live in meadows and woodlands that look just fine the way they are. We’re buffered from development by forest preserves and large estates but I’ve encountered stick-up-the-butt types who like to complain to the community association that “we have too many trees.” Seriously.

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  18. nancy said on May 16, 2016 at 9:42 am

    Facebook swap sites are usually extremely local — neighborhood-level — and confined to specialty items. There are several here, and started as children’s-clothes deals, which is very convenient for mothers of growing babies. The original GP Mom Swap got so big so fast it quickly spun off sub-sites for boys, girls, etc. The way it works: You post something for sale, people speak up if they want it, and the exchange is usually done on your front porch: You leave the item out, and they push a few bucks through your mail slot. Low risk, easy-peasy.

    The problem comes when someone adds “and chat” to the description, because then you get the drama queens who live to stir shit. I’ve seen productive discussions there, and sometimes it’s good for getting breaking news around in a place with one shitty weekly newspaper. But often you get women who want to rant about rumor-based nonsense, or vaccines, or whatever. I was in two groups — the big one and a sub-group for adult clothing and home-decor items — and got kicked out of both because I guffawed at some woman who waded into a vaccine discussion to offer her “all natural” honey elixir for sale and nearly got trampled by women who won’t vaccinate their children on schedule racing to throw money at her, because it’s “anti-viral and anti-bacterial.” I may or may not have used the term “snake oil;” for the record, I can’t recall.

    Anyway. KICKED OUT OF THE MOM SWAP. I told you I was a badass bitch.

    Also, the bigger the site, the more umpire work there is — some people simply behave badly, sometimes atrociously. A friend of mine is a moderator of one, and says I wouldn’t believe what people will do.

    After a while I got added back to the adult/decor site, which has an explicit no-chat policy. I’m happy there.

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  19. Jeff Borden said on May 16, 2016 at 9:45 am

    Congrats! I remember the ceremony well. You were a lovely bride. We’ll hit 27 in November. Never thought it would happen for me, but it’s been great. Better late than never.

    One of the Trump interviewees in the NYT story already is recanting on Fox, which will give Trump and his minions cover to declare the who shebang absolute bullshit and give his mob –followers seems too polite– another reason to loathe the liberal media.

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  20. adrianne said on May 16, 2016 at 10:01 am

    Nancy Nall Derringer, never afraid to speak truth to power, even when it’s addled moms on mom sites! I could make a living out of shooting down the anti-vaxxers, but I don’t have the time to get on this crusade. As the mother of a young man with Asperger’s, it’s particularly infuriating to hear the absolute b.s. that masquerades as “science” in explaining the causes of autism. Best short answer: It’s genetic, and we still don’t know what combination of genes going haywire causes it.

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  21. Judybusy said on May 16, 2016 at 10:01 am

    Congratulations, Nancy! You both look happy and spiffy.

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  22. Dorothy said on May 16, 2016 at 10:15 am

    Happy anniversary!! Your soup picture made me think of this: I caught an episode of Simply Ming over the weekend and he had a very pretty and talented Korean female chef as a guest. She created this fabulous soup (missed the beginning so I’m not sure what it was called.) She very artfully placed this line up of cooked vegetables etc. diagonally into an empty bowl, and then gently added broth so the lined up ‘stuff’ wouldn’t get dislodged. It was too beautiful to eat! I guess I don’t eat at such fancy places to ever be served something as pleasing to the eye as that bowl of soup was. I might need to find a place so I can try a dish like that – soon!

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  23. Bitter Scribe said on May 16, 2016 at 10:29 am

    Vouchers really took hold in this country as a way to steer tax dollars in the South to whites-only “private academies.” And no, saying that is not the same as pointing out that Robert Byrd was once in the KKK. There’s a straight line from that to the motivations of a lot of today’s voucher advocates IMO.

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  24. Alan Stamm said on May 16, 2016 at 10:34 am

    Share-worthy Twitter volley yesterday about that NYT front-pager:

    Donald J. Trump: Everyone is laughing at the @nytimes for the lame hit piece they did on me and women.I gave them many names of women I helped-refused to use

    Ron Fournier [The Atlantic]: That laughter your hear is not aimed at the Times, sir.

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  25. adrianne said on May 16, 2016 at 10:57 am

    And…this just in, Supreme Court punts on the absurd Zubik v. Burwell case on the contraception mandate. Essentially, they never should have taken the case. It’s b.s. and they know it. But today the justices essentially kicked the can down the road for 2017. Here’s a link to Law360 story: https://www.law360.com/articles/791490

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  26. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 10:58 am

    Alan – excellent!

    Bitter – couldn’t agree more, re vouchers.

    Plus – Fort Wayne’s annexing has a perverse effect on school-funding, owing to a fairly new addition to the Indiana constitution that caps property tax rates at some percentage of assessed value.


    I wonder what effect that would have on a mostly-urban school district (think homes valued at less than the cars in the driveway), as compared to a suburban district….?

    It is a horribly mis-directed bit of public policy (at best) or else a purposeful and flatly despicable assault on quality public education for all/re-segregation

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  27. Peter said on May 16, 2016 at 11:11 am

    Alan @ 24: Ba da boom! Too bad someone will have to explain that to Donald, then lose his job.

    Happy Anniversary to you Ms. Nancy, and many more.

    Did I read right that Snowzilla is on the VP list? Sure, that came from Dr. Sleepy, and it may be a diversionary tactic, but please oh please Oh Please OH PLEASE make it happen. If you’re going crazy I think you have to go all in.

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  28. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 11:40 am

    Looking at the ascendancy of DT, I cannot help but think of what my mom used to say (if you stubbed your toe, for example): That’s God punishing you!

    One way or another, I suppose we deserve whatever we elect, this year

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  29. Jolene said on May 16, 2016 at 11:56 am

    The WaPo piece re Huntington is by Eli Saslow, who has made a specialty of close-in pieces on people enduring both ordinary and extraordinary hardships. Nancy featured a piece of his on one of the survivors of the shooting at Umpqua Community College in Oregon, and he also wrote about one of the Sandy Hook families. He won a Pulitzer a couple of years ago for a series of articles on food stamps and the people who use them. He also started a mentoring program called Press Pass to help minority students in DC prepare for and apply to college. It’s a small program, but, based on what I’ve read about it, successful. In other words, an impressive guy.

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  30. Sherri said on May 16, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Even Charlie Pierce is tired of Bernie’s act after the Nevada state convention this past weekend: http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a44904/nevada-democratic-convention/

    If you want a good description of what happened, here’s one from the WaPo: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/05/15/heres-what-happened-at-saturdays-dramatic-nevada-democratic-convention/

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  31. Jolene said on May 16, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    Speaking of getting what we deserve, Brian,John Oliver had a funny piece on his HBO show last night called “People Who Somehow Got Elected,” featuring Paul LePage, the Tea Party governor of Maine. Very funny. Worth checking out, but, depending on your circumstances, may be NSFW.

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  32. MichaelG said on May 16, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Happy anniversary!

    I saw that Amgen finish yesterday, Dexter. It was a great sprint and a bit disappointing that Cavendish got boxed out. I was surprised by the small crowds on the streets in San Diego.

    The Tour will be spending three days in the Sacramento area. Stage 5 from Lodi to Tahoe, Stage 6 entirely in Folsom which is a suburb of Sacramento and the Stage 8 finale in Sacramento proper with the by now fairly traditional several laps around the Capitol finish.


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  33. Jolene said on May 16, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    Whoops! I meant to say “may not be NSFW.”

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  34. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 2:03 pm

    For some reason, this bothers me:


    the lead:

    Police were looking for singer-songwriter Sinead O’Connor on Monday after she didn’t return from a bike ride. Authorities in Wilmette, Illinois, released a statement saying they were seeking O’Connor following a report that she had not returned after leaving to go on a bike ride early Sunday morning.

    Here’s hoping all is well

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  35. Jolene said on May 16, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    In another report, Brian, she is described as “possibly suicidal”. Doesn’t sound good.

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  36. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on May 16, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    May not be not safe for work? Or is not not safe, work-wise? Or not.

    Suicide is on the upswing in so many ways and places; grace & peace to Sinead and anyone else caught up and pulled down in a spiral of depression. Support your local mental health awareness and treatment programs, too.

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  37. Jolene said on May 16, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    Wow! You”d think I was drunk, when in fact, I’m only tired. I was right the first time, Jeff (tmmo). Can you tell I went to college?

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  38. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    This past weekend, while Grant (our 20 year old) and Chloe (our 11 year old) and me (our 55 year old!) were haunting the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Shelby (our 17 year old) was at the Prom.

    Or, more specifically, she and her friends were busy taking photos downtown at the Grand Wayne Center, and then dining at Flat Iron Grill, and then promenading(?) at Orchard Ridge Country Club….and at some point in the evening – she lost her phone.

    The good news was (and remains) that I was in Indianapolis, and cannot be blamed(!)….and I pointed out that – as we hadn’t insured it – as long as she’s had that phone, we’ve already saved the expense of replacing it.

    And who knows? – she may yet find it again. (but –aggravating factor – the battery was dead, so the find-me feature is inoperable).

    “and so it goes” – eh?

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  39. alex said on May 16, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Skinhead O’Connor found. Alive and well.

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  40. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    Excellent news!

    Again – I’ve no idea why that bothered me, but it did.

    I suppose a parallel would be if CeeLo Green went missing. I don’t own any of his music, but always liked him on The Voice…

    Now, if Eddie Vedder went missing, that would cause me to miss work!

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  41. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    …make that Flat Top Grill

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  42. jcburns said on May 16, 2016 at 4:23 pm

    Won’t someone think of the bison!?

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  43. brian stouder said on May 16, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    JC – what a story! A summer ago, we were in the Badlands, and saw lots of bison near the road, and the last thing on Earth we’d ever think to do is fool with a calf!

    Aside from that, here’s a piece of BREAKING NEWS that just came over the wires to me:

    Shelby found her cell phone! The main office at school found two, and one was hers.

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  44. jcburns said on May 16, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    Hey, a summer ago, WE were in the badlands, and saw lots of bison near the road. (Also Yellowstone.)

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  45. Brandon said on May 16, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    Sinéad O’Connor explains why she shaved her head.

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  46. Brandon said on May 16, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    Why Sinéad shaved her head.


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  47. Sherri said on May 16, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Amazon has a well-earned reputation for not being involved in the local community here, but there are signs that is changing. Amazon bought property it eventually plans to build on, but in the meantime, they made the hotel that sits on the property available to a homeless shelter: http://crosscut.com/2016/05/amazons-hotel-for-homeless-comes-to-life/

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  48. Sherri said on May 16, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    Maybe the Sanders’ didn’t want to release their tax returns because they knew Burlington College was close to going under: http://www.politico.com/story/2016/05/burlington-college-jane-sanders-close-223222

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  49. Jolene said on May 16, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    Why would anyone think a college with 70 students would be financially viable, with or without a $10 million debt? According to Wikipedia, it was the #1 school in the US for free-spirited students, but still . . .

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  50. Deborah said on May 16, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Yeah, that’s what I thought too, Jolene. What’s wrong with this picture?

    I’m starting to yearn to go back to New Mexico, I miss the plants. Little Bird keeps me abreast of how things are doing but I miss the air and the sun. We’re going back for a couple of weeks at the end of May beginning of June so pretty soon. I love our new place in Chicago despite its smallness. I’m getting used to that aspect. But the great wide open spaces are calling to me.

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  51. Judybusy said on May 16, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    Deborah, I love that you have two such disparate places to call home.

    Jeff (TMMO) have you ever read Thomas Joiner’s book, “Why people Commit Suicide”? Enlightening as he is one of the foremost researchers in suicide prevention these days. (Also thanks for your kind words on the last post!)

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  52. Brandon said on May 16, 2016 at 9:12 pm


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  53. Sherri said on May 16, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Nader has nothing to say I want to hear after what he did in 2000. Besides, he has a funny idea of dictatorship, when more people have actually voted for Clinton. The problem with the self-righteous left is they’re too busy shouting about how right and pure they are compared to the merely liberal to notice that nobody is joining them.

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  54. Sherri said on May 16, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    More on the Nevada nonsense, which doesn’t seem to be getting much press. Sanders has yet to comment on what happened, or say anything to try and rein in his increasingly unhinged supporters. This is another example of why caucuses need to go, too. Trying to change the result after the fact is ridiculous, but very possible with caucuses which have several levels before the final delegates to the national convention are elected.

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  55. Sherri said on May 16, 2016 at 9:52 pm

    Oh, and here is a sample of what the Nevada state Democratic Chairwoman is getting on her phone after the enraged Bernie supporters spread her phone number and personal information around: https://www.ralstonreports.com/blog/sample-voicemails-left-state-democratic-chairwoman-roberta-lange

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  56. Sherri said on May 16, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    Oh, I’m sorry, there is a comment from Sanders’ spokesman, who called the events at the convention “unfortunate.”


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