Into it we go.

I believe it was another blogger who once said that she enjoys Christmas as much as the next girl, but dragging that tree to the curb is like getting another room on your house. Seconded. Every time I sweep up the pine needles, I think how a pre-lit artificial tree is definitely not selling out. Things are complicated this year by the snow on the walks and a serious deep freeze, which means we’re going to be tracking those fuckers back into the house for days and weeks yet.

Yes, I just referred to pine needles as fuckers. I go on a jihad about cleanliness at this time of year.

Otherwise, it was a pleasant new year’s weekend. Prime rib was prepared and served, as was spinach soufflé and a disappointing potato dish, bailed out by a wonderful sorbet. I may make sorbet every weekend for the rest of my life, if it’s as good as the kir royale sorbet I made for dinner yesterday. Glad I bought an ice cream maker at a garage sale a few years back. (“Does it work?” “Oh yes. It’s just that I have two of them.” #GrossePointeProblems)

Now for dry, abstemious January. I’m pretty damn ready for this one, gotta say. But I’ll eat the rest of the sorbet first.

I can say with confidence that my New Year’s Eve was better than young Barron Trump’s:

When I was 11 and my parents had plans for NYE, I could sleep over at a friend’s house, or have someone over, or otherwise do something that an 11-year-old might consider fun. I was never dressed up and required to go to their party with them. Just looking at the random crowd shots gives me the heebie-jeebies on his behalf:

Have we ever speculated on whether Barron is on the spectrum? I’ve thought so for a while now. Those of you experienced with these kids are encouraged to weigh in. His may be the only book out of this administration I might look forward to reading.

Speaking of which, this is required reading for those of you keeping up. And that’s all from me for now. I’m going to try out my new meditation app. Happy new year to all of us.

Posted at 4:55 pm in Current events, Same ol' same ol' |

39 responses to “Into it we go.”

  1. Sherri said on January 1, 2018 at 7:19 pm

    Bought a prelit artificial tree several years ago. It goes up in minutes, I don’t have to water it, and there are no needles. I’m good with being a sellout in this instance. There are easier ways of getting the smell into the house, if I want it.

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  2. alex said on January 1, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    Artificial trees go up in minutes, unlike real ones, which go up in seconds.

    We just make an outside tree our Christmas tree anymore and save ourselves the room, the risk and the mess. But we still track those “fuckers” in and out because my partner always makes lovely grave blankets as wall adornments for the front porch and they’re not so Christmassy that they have to come down before, say Easter, after they’ve shed a shitload of “fuckers” all over the place.

    I’d be careful talking about Barron. I googled it and Melania sues the shit out of people for speculating about it. It gets her even more apoplectic than people snickering about her being a you-know-what.

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  3. Deborah said on January 1, 2018 at 9:14 pm

    We haven’t had a Christmas tree since 1990. We’ve lived in high rises for many, many years and Christmas trees are the biggest pain to deal with in elevators and getting rid of them at the end of the season is a royal hassle. We are almost always in NM for Christmas and the apt in Santa Fe is small while our cabin in Abiquiu is microscopic, so no room for trees. We have a wreath over the fireplace in Santa Fe and a candle in a crock with a red ribbon around it for a decoration in Abiquiu. We used to have lots of piñon trees on our land and we’d pick one and call it our tree, always meaning to put natural decorations on it that the birds could eat but we never did it. Then we had the bark beetle infestation and lost every single piñon. Now we have only junipers out there and they’re clumpy-er than a Christmas tree so it’s not the same. We do have some new, little piñons starting to grow now, in about 20 years they’ll look pretty good, I’ll be 87 then!

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  4. adrianne said on January 1, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    You’ll have to pry our real Christmas tree from my cold, dead hands! I love the smell of a real tree. Ours was a good one this year, still thriving. It stays up until “Little Christmas,” or the Feast of the Magi.

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  5. basset said on January 1, 2018 at 10:58 pm

    No tree here, we went to Michigan for the holiday so I was spared all that. I tend to stay depressed from about Thanksgiving to New Year’s and trees and presents make it worse.

    Still fighting the Mac migration, too.

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  6. Julie Robinson said on January 1, 2018 at 11:18 pm

    We went to the dark side so long ago we’re on our second artificial tree. But good news: they shed too! No need to miss sweeping up needles!

    It’s been a day of taking down the tree and packing for our trip home tomorrow. It’s turned cold here in Orlando, but nothing like at home in the Fort. I’m dreading going back.

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  7. LAMary said on January 1, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    I was fixated on that Trump, Melania and Barron photo earlier. They all look miserable. Melania looks like her tits hurt in that ugly sparkle dress. Barron is very skinny, even for a boy his gangly age. I’m not catty. I’m just telling it like I see it. Melania seems to favor dresses with big silly sleeves and tight bust lines. Those implants weren’t cheap so I guess she needs to emphasize that chestular region.

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  8. Deborah said on January 2, 2018 at 12:18 am

    Someone on twitter or FB said that Melania’s dress looked like it was stuffed with turtles and made from old calendars from Chinese restaurants.

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  9. Dexter said on January 2, 2018 at 1:32 am

    goddam pay wall…I know…but to quote my favorite, and funniest man on earth, the great Gilbert Gottfried, “…because I’m a cheap fuck…”, I ain’t paying for The Times…just like most of you won’t pay for cable nomo.
    My sat-radio and cable bill tap me out.
    It’s so damn cold, like minus 3F now, sorbet mentions don’t inspire me to go get some sherbet or anything…the local, for the first time ever, now sells Peet’s coffee, which is damn fine joe. I drink a helluva lotta tea and coffee these days, and can’t sleep until 5:00 AM, which is fine because as Paulie told Charlie in “The Pope of Greenwich Village”, “Whatcha all dressed up for, Charlie? You ain’t got no job!”
    I can assume most of you know all about Temple Grandin, who is the most spellbinding person I have ever heard talk. If Baron Trump is truly autistic, I hope Grandin becomes his mentor. Damndest stuff she has done, systems she invented…genius, other-worldly.
    Of all the Polar Bear dips, the one from Milwaukee impressed me the most…as folks jumped into the big lake, two guttus-maximus middle age men stood in speedos shooting the shit like it was July…tough old birds, I say, governor.

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  10. David C. said on January 2, 2018 at 6:19 am

    Barron always looks like the unhappiest kid in the world. But just compare the attention BHO gave to Sasha and Malia to being used as a prop like tRump does Barron.

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  11. velvet goldmine said on January 2, 2018 at 7:47 am

    Rosie O’Donnell got into a bit of trouble last year for saying Barron is clearly on the spectrum.

    Who knows? It could be total, abject fear of his father. Or it could be that he is simply his mother’s son. She certainly wears a mask.

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  12. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 2, 2018 at 8:20 am

    For keeping up, this from last April is still (I think) key as to demonstrating that the Trump team was playing with fire for years, not just one mistaken meeting with a misrepresenting stranger:

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  13. Peter said on January 2, 2018 at 8:54 am

    We’ve had an artificial tree ever since the year we bought a beautiful live tree and Copper thought he died and went to doggie heaven – INDOOR PLUMBING! if it wasn’t for the stench that tree could have stayed fresh until July.

    And speaking of pee jobs, when I saw that photo all I could think of was that Ramones song – “We’re a Happy Family”…not too safe for work…

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  14. Suzanne said on January 2, 2018 at 9:10 am

    We got a new fake Christmas tree this year because the old fake tree was losing so many needles. If it were up to me, I’d put out the ceramic vintage tree and call it a day, but the rest of the family might object.

    In nearly every pic I’ve seen of famiglia Trump, everybody but the man himself looks miserable. No interaction like you saw from the Obama family members or the Bush family members. They all inhabit their own little space and seem to have no interest in moving out of that space.

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  15. Mark P said on January 2, 2018 at 9:11 am

    Peter — “Indoor plumbing.” Funny. Of course our little min-pin, inherited from my mother, has used our other dogs’ beds and even her own as indoor plumbing ever since we got her. Lovely little rat.

    My wife reminds me that her cats used to use her own house plant pots for toilets.

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  16. nancy said on January 2, 2018 at 9:39 am

    There’s a masters thesis in the Trump women’s footwear choices. I saw a picture of Ivanka and Jared getting on Air Force One yesterday in Palm Beach. She was wearing a short dress and the standard six-inch stilettos. I don’t care what anybody says – and there’s a loud chorus of self-deluding women who claim otherwise – those fuckers HURT, especially if you have a baby on your hip. They seemed pretty dressed up for a traveling Monday, with Jared in a suit and tie, but their whole image is so over the top, and it’s never reflected more than in the women’s shoe choices.

    And yes, Melania’s dress is fugly. Every time I see a picture like this, I’m reminded of her first- roommate-in-New-York’s comments about her lack of success as a model: “She’s pretty stiff in front of a camera.”

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  17. adrianne said on January 2, 2018 at 9:44 am

    Yes, Melania’s dress is a horror. And Barron is to be pitied for being part of that monstrous family. Of course, the Donald was the recipient of terrible physical and emotional abuse by his father, Fred, the Nazi lover. So it passeth onto another generation.

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  18. Snarkworth said on January 2, 2018 at 10:07 am

    Happy New Year, one and all!

    I vote that we keep our noses out of the business of a gangly pre-teen kid who didn’t choose his family.

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  19. Connie said on January 2, 2018 at 10:46 am

    I second what snarkworth said.

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  20. Jeff Borden said on January 2, 2018 at 11:16 am

    I’ve been trying to follow the high road regarding Melania and Baron. It infuriated me to see Michelle Obama and the First Daughters dragged through the sewer by rightwing assholes. So, I’m holding my fire on the kid and the First Lady. Donnie Jr., Eric, Ivanka and, of course, Jared are another story. All four of them are first-class assholes. With luck, they will have to work for a living someday after this disastrous presidency renders the Trump brand the same cachet as the name Quisling.

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  21. Bill said on January 2, 2018 at 11:53 am

    I reserve the right to feel sympathy for the young man.

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  22. Bitter Scribe said on January 2, 2018 at 11:54 am

    My sister lives alone since our brother died last February. When I came over for Christmas, I was astonished to see she’d set up the artificial Christmas tree and strung lights on it.

    Regarding First Children: I’ll never forget some right-wing bitch slagging on Malia for looking bored at a WH ceremony while wearing what RWB deemed a “tacky” outfit. Then it turned out when RWB was Malia’s age, she’d been arrested for shoplifting. Something tasteful, no doubt.

    As for Barron, I agree with the commenters above. Leave the kid alone. That’s a target-rich family without dragging an innocent boy into it.

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  23. nancy said on January 2, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    FWIW, I didn’t bring it up to pick on Master Barron. I just think it’s interesting. I also think it’s very weird that he was dragged along to this party. But he seems very close to his mother, so maybe being with her is his comfort zone. Lord knows no one else will protect him.

    And also FWIW, I think Melania is fair game.

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  24. Jakash said on January 2, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    So many thread-winner candidates already…

    “Yes, I just referred to pine needles as fuckers.” Though I’m assuming NN is ineligible, as the proprietress, and since she’d win every thread. Not to mention that’s the post and not the thread, regardless. Or is the post part of the thread? This is *important*! ; )

    “…I guess she needs to emphasize that chestular region.”

    “two guttus-maximus middle age men”

    “doggie heaven – INDOOR PLUMBING!”

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  25. basset said on January 2, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    Cold-water swim… shrinkage.

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  26. Scout said on January 2, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    At one time the thought of an artificial xmas tree was horrifying. I just wouldn’t. Then Ms Scout came along and her ‘dowry’ included one, and she LOVED it. It was a giant nightmare to put together; every branch was numbered and had to be placed into corresponding little holes. The ‘needles’ were sharp and left scratches all over my arms during assembly. Not pre-lit, it was from before that became a thing. It took hours to assemble and as long to disassemble. I jettisoned it as soon as I was able to purchase a new pre-lit model on clearance because GUESS WHO (yes, me) always got stuck putting it together. This is our 8th xmas with the newer model and this year I spent an hour removing all the pre-lights because they all died, but the tree is still nice. Since I like to put it up just after Thanksgiving and take it down just after 3 Kings Day (thank you, my PR friends who gave me that excuse) I now like having an easy fake tree. Ms Scout still laments every year the loss of her monster tree. I pretend to agree.

    Happy New Year, friends. My one word resolution is BALANCE. Staying on top of what’s happening but knowing when to unplug in order to stay sane.

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  27. Scout said on January 2, 2018 at 1:37 pm

    And to the same end as my BALANCE resolution, Ed at Gin and Tacos has given the Lieberman this year to the Cletus Safari hunters in the press. Well done, Ed.

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  28. Icarus said on January 2, 2018 at 1:40 pm

    to tie together Christmas trees and Melania…..Christmas trees are like boobs: the fake ones are nice to look at, but the real ones are so much better.

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  29. susan said on January 2, 2018 at 1:51 pm

    Ummmmm, as in, “to tie together Christmas trees and the Orange Dotard…Xmas trees are like dicks: The fake ones are atrocious to look at, but the real ones are so much more ridiculous.”

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  30. Jakash said on January 2, 2018 at 2:19 pm

    I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to suggest that Chicago is the capital of the Central Time Zone, though undoubtedly folks in Houston, Mexico City and Saskatoon, among others, would disagree. So the opportunity is there for it to have a New Year’s Eve celebration that would represent the Zone in style, rather than folks watching replays of Times Square, etc. when the big moment arrives for flyover country. Alas, it has never seemed to come close, despite assorted lame efforts. It’s big enough that local TV stations feel they’ve got to do *something*, but provincial enough that “something” ends up being sending local TV-news personalities to various ballrooms to watch people celebrate. (Exception: the CBS affiliate showing Joel Osteen — genius counter-programming and a feather in Houston’s cap, no doubt!)

    If there’s a way spending 50 minutes televising people waiting for 10 seconds before a *certain* second arrives could be done well, I can’t imagine it, but suffice it to say, they haven’t figured one out.

    Anyway, that’s a tedious run-up to this hashtag, which the local ABC affiliate encouraged folks to visit during the festivities. Snarky hilarity ensues, as the hoi polloi on Twitter hate-watch the coverage from their own cozy hearths…

    Which is all an even more tedious run-up to posting this photo of a local TV personality who evidently takes some of her fashion cues from the same gurus as Melania:

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  31. Jeff Borden said on January 2, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    Some good news for those of us who loathe the Orange King and his spawn. . .

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  32. Suzanne said on January 2, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    Orrin Hatch has announced he is retiring from the Senate

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  33. Joe Kobiela said on January 2, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    Icarus for the win!!
    I spent new years eve in Los Angeles, I got a text at 9 pm L.A. time from my daughter, it said happy new year from the future.
    Leaving Seattle for the D.
    Hear it’s cold back east
    Pilot Joe

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  34. LAMary said on January 2, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    I think Melania is fair game. She’s a former titty model who was presented to us with a mostly fake bio. The most impressive thing I’ve seen her do is remind the Donald to put his hand on his heart when the national anthem was played.

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  35. Scout said on January 2, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    I agree, lamary. Although she looks miserable 95% of the time, it is a gilded cage of her own making. She dismissed the pussgrab video as ‘locker room talk’, refused to move into the WH for 6 months and declared her cause was anti-cyber-bullying, which signals mockery of that very issue. She is totally fair game and then some. The kid? No.

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  36. Jolene said on January 2, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    Someone posted on Facebook a great meme showing Melania in her New Year’s gown beside a candy Easter rabbit wrapped in shiny pink paper decorated with flowers similar to those in her dress. Unfortunately, I can’t find it again, but it was an apt comparison.

    I’m delighted that Hatch is retiring, as it will piss off DJT, who very much wanted him to run again so as to block Mitt Romney. It’s hard to see why 70-year-old Mitt would want to leave his life of ski trips and hiking in scenic surroundings with his enormous family, but the will to power knows few limits.

    Given that it’s Utah, we’re pretty much guaranteed a Republican, and, as Mike Lee, the other Utah senator illustrates, the world of Utah Republicans could certainly produce worse exemplars than Mitt. Though he allowed himself to be drawn into being considered for secretary of state once Trump won, his criticism of The Orange One during the campaign was both early, blunt, and substantively correct. Let’s hope the that, if he runs, he sticks with that stance.

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  37. Jolene said on January 2, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    I received an email inviting me to nominate someone to receive a free one-month digital subscription to the Washington Post. If you’re interested, send your email to Nancy, who likely won’t mind sending it on to me.

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  38. Jeff Borden said on January 2, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    Jolene @36

    One of the Orange King’s court jesters said he invited Mittster to dinner just to humiliate him. He’s certainly tiny enough to do something like that. . .

    At this stage, I just want the whole fucking national Republican Party to retire. There is no governing philosophy beyond servicing the wealthy donor base. There is no foreign policy. There is only contempt for the poor, hatred for the “other” and an unquenchable thirst for more war. Just read what fucking Lindsey Graham said today. The motherfucker is trying to tee up a nice, little war.

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  39. Dexter said on January 3, 2018 at 1:10 am

    v.goldmine: You got it…Melania wears a mask…never seen her without it. Just squinty rigid stares.

    Dave Chappelle has two newly-released shows now on Netflix. The first one is my choice, but the second one is good as well. If you are a Trump-lover, the second one will really piss you off. If you lean towards the thought that Trump is a disaster and a dangerous liar, your head will be nodding most of the 49 minutes. And there is a bit about Emmett Till in the second one, and I would bet that is the first comedy bit with that story in it…but that’s Chappelle.
    My Chicago nephew and his wife, who is a politically connected lady who advises and directs Democratic campaigns on the local level, and was president of Illinois Women for Obama back when, had a baby last summer and they called him Emmett. And I know why. Never forget.

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