A bad weekend, a good Monday.

I didn’t blog yesterday because I spent most of Sunday — the whole weekend, really — trying to find the errors in my 2021 tax return that had the IRS asking us for an extra $14,000 including penalties and interest. The good news is, we found the errors. The bad news? We’ll still have to write them a big check, but for way less than $14,000. For the first time in a decade, TurboTax failed me. Or maybe I failed TurboTax. I don’t know. All I know is, our taxes have become too much for me to handle, and next year we’re hiring a pro.

Then Monday arrived, and in my last round of abs work at the gym this morning, I ripped a loud and completely unexpected fart in the vicinity of perhaps the only other person there who wasn’t wearing earbuds. I said “excuse me” to the air and then added, “OK, Monday, I see you.” It was almost literally the cherry on a shit sundae of a few days.

But then I came home and showered, dried off and learned woo-hoo! Tucker Carlson was fired! I mean, it won’t free us from the menace — people that evil always land on their feet, often with a raise — but the humiliation has to be worth something. I mean, for a little while, it freed me from thinking about taxes and that fart.

I don’t really have a take, at least not yet. He’s not done yet; he likes the power too much. And make no mistake — he wasn’t fired for being a terrible person, he was fired for saying mean things about Fox management in private text messages. (You all know that you shouldn’t do that by now, right? Confine your shit-talking to the open air, preferably after a scan for parabolic mics.) So it’s not like the world is a better place with his voice temporarily silenced. It’s just reorganizing itself. But when he resurfaces, it’s likely to be on a much smaller platform than the mighty Fox News, much as Megyn Kelly went from spaghetti-strapped blonde hottie to terrible daytime talk-show hostess to…whatever she is now. The media landscape is a crowded, cutthroat place; someone is always willing to step into your shoes, once they’ve been taken off your feet.

Honestly, though, I have to say that the decision to cut the cord is one I’ve never, ever regretted. It amazes me when people bitch about “the media” and think it consists entirely of cable news. I haven’t missed it for one day since we went all-streaming a few years back. Outlets like the NYT have gotten very good at breaking news, and when it happens, I open my laptop. Who wastes time on Don Lemon and Sean Hannity when they can watch something good on Hulu or Netflix or HBO or Amazon Video? Not I.

OK, then. Time to put this day to bed and consider whether I need to resign my membership to the gym. Probably not, but hey — it was a loud one.

Posted at 5:05 pm in Media |

29 responses to “A bad weekend, a good Monday.”

  1. Scout said on April 24, 2023 at 5:21 pm

    Your fart story made my day, even funnier than Fishsticks Fuckface getting the big kiss off.

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  2. Jeff Borden said on April 24, 2023 at 5:44 pm

    I posted this at the tail end of your last thread…

    Hooray for the firing, but Fox won’t change an iota. Any number of telegenic assholes wait in the wings. Wanna bet Tucker McNear Swanson Carlson enters politics? That’s my thought.

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  3. Dave said on April 24, 2023 at 5:52 pm

    Megyn Kelly has a show on a Sirius channel, the same channel that Dr. Laura is on, a channel named Triumph. Good old Dr. Laura, still handing out advice and she’s always right, knows exactly the right thing to do.

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  4. David C said on April 24, 2023 at 5:57 pm

    That’s my fear, Jeff. God spare us from a Trump/Carlson ticket. The thought of months of listening to those whiney-assed babies makes suppuku seem like a good idea.

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  5. Dorothy said on April 24, 2023 at 6:26 pm

    If bratty Tucker wants to hook himself to that sinking ship named Trump, let him. Trump is going to have too much stink on and around him in the coming months to get anywhere in politics anymore. I refuse to believe that it’s possible in any version of reality that he has any chance at all of winning the presidency again.

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  6. Scout said on April 24, 2023 at 7:05 pm

    Dorothy @ 5: AMEN sister! He’s toast and the only people who can’t smell the charred stink of his smoking political career are him and his zombie eyed cult.

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  7. Sherri said on April 24, 2023 at 9:04 pm

    Trump can absolutely win the presidency again. He will win the Republican nomination; the Republican Party is a cult of personality, and you can’t just plug another personality in there. I’m not sure DeSantis will even make it to announcing a campaign, he’s cratering so fast.

    From there, how does Trump win the general? With a third party candidate stepping in. NoLabels, the front group for big money donors who like their politics supposedly “centrist”, runs a candidate who pulls just enough votes in key states to deny Biden the EC, either handing Trump the EC victory outright or throwing the election into the House (or SCOTUS). NoLabels has 60+ Congressmembers from both parties in their Problem Solvers Caucus, and I’m sure they’ll be able to convince some rich idiot like Howard Schulz that he’s the solution to America’s problems.

    A third party candidate won’t take any votes away from Trump, because personality cult, but would take votes from Biden. Oh, and guess who one of the donors to the centrist NoLabels is? Clarence Thomas’s good buddy Harlan Crow.

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  8. Sherri said on April 24, 2023 at 9:43 pm

    In the “we live in two different countries” category, I was reading about the following situation:

    There were multiple complaints to the police about too many vehicles at an apartment complex near campus. The police approached a car where they smelled marijuana, and upon searching the vehicle, discovered 32 grams of marijuana, rolling papers, a half-smoked blunt, and 3 loaded weapons under the seat. The occupants of the car were arrested. What were they arrested for?

    Depends on where this happened. Where I live, the concealed weapons, the things that actually represent a danger to public safety, would be a problem. But since this happened in Alabama, it was the marijuana that resulted in arrest, not the guns.

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  9. Deborah said on April 25, 2023 at 12:01 am

    Oh Nancy, this is why I read your blog and the comments multiple times a day. I laughed out loud tonight reading your post, much needed. Thanks for that.

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  10. Dexter Friend said on April 25, 2023 at 2:26 am

    Don Lemon? Swept out on his ass also. Also, Jeff Shell Ousted at NBCUniversal for ‘Inappropriate Relationship’.

    Aaron Rodgers, whose antics crosses over from sports to news, now is a New York Jet. Bye bye ice hello Broadway…sorta, I mean like a bridge and tunnel Noo Yawkah.

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  11. Jim said on April 25, 2023 at 5:45 am

    Loud ones are good (lol) – proving they don’t smell . (Roflmao) .

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  12. alex said on April 25, 2023 at 8:01 am

    Anymore I heed the wisdom of the elders: “Never trust a fart.” Especially at the office after eating Asian take-out, which maybe I should just stop eating anyway.

    So Fishsticks had made some noises in the past about wanting to run for president. Kind of scary when you consider that he’s more telegenic and articulate and clever and charismatic than the Orange Turd, and much more practiced at radicalizing the rubes as well. If anyone could elbow Trump out of the Trump lane it would be him.

    So the E. Jean Carroll trial starts today. And there’s talk about DNA on the dress she was wearing which she has held onto for all these years. Maybe this sleeper case and not the others will be the Orange Turd’s undoing.

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  13. Suzanne said on April 25, 2023 at 8:24 am

    Rachel Maddow had a very good segment last night, giving context to the long line of the Tucker Carlson types of right wing media, starting with Father Coughlin back in the 30s. She also managed to never actually name the fish stick king, which was a nice touch. Most of them have no appeal outside the right wing ecosystem and eventually fade off into the night…

    FWIW, back when I was healthier and would take yoga classes, I would always position myself in the back because I knew some vocal gas was gonna slip out during a good long Down Dog.

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  14. Jeff Borden said on April 25, 2023 at 8:46 am

    You are engaging in deeply wishful thinking if you believe tRump is toast. The QOP has zero policy ideas but, sadly, it also has zero moral scruples. And Sherri, as usual, is right on the money. A third-party candidate will hurt only Biden and there are plenty of Sheldon Adelson types with unlimited money to fund one.

    Given the deep polarization of our bloody, battered country, tRump would have close to a 50-50 shot at winning. A sudden recession, a bungled domestic or international incident…any number of factors could torpedo Biden.

    Pointing to Ottawa County in Michigan, Charles P. Pierce of Esquire believes tRumpism has seeped into almost every corner of our nation. And remember: the QOP will be more than willing to cheat.

    The wild cards are suburban women incensed by the attacks on reproductive rights and Millennials and Gen Z. They’ll need to deliver big or we are well and truly fucked. The second coming of the orange cancer would be apocalyptic in its insanity.

    I’m going to start taking Spanish lessons this spring. Just in case we need to seek refuge in Spain while the rage monkeys rule.

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  15. FDChief said on April 25, 2023 at 10:15 am

    I’ll join the chorus; there’s a huge likelihood that Tubby will be back in 2024. For a group that has no ideas other than hating everything since the New Deal he is the mango-colored embodiment of that id. They’ll vote for him if he’s in a jail cell. They don’t care about anything other than that he hates what they hate and blarts that out 24/7.

    When I used to powerlift I worked out with a guy who would rip one out when he benched his max. Every time. Like a gunshot. Said it helped him focus.

    Sure shook up the rest of us, tho. Used to throw hands to pick who spotted him.

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  16. Heather said on April 25, 2023 at 11:07 am

    The funniest thing on Twitter right now is Glenn Greenwald having an absolute meltdown over Tucker’s firing. He’s upset because that was the only show that would still have him on as a guest.


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  17. Sherri said on April 25, 2023 at 12:43 pm

    I don’t fart every time I lift, but it’s not unheard of. This is probably TMI, but I do wear an incontinence pad on days I’m doing heavy squats or deadlifts, because as it turns out, when you build up all that intra-abdominal pressure, the weakest muscles surrounding it are the pelvic floor muscles.

    FDChief, it’s not too late to return to powerlifting. There was a man in his 80s competing at the meet I reffed this past weekend.

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  18. Scout said on April 25, 2023 at 3:08 pm

    Re: Biden vs Trump in ’24.

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  19. ROGirl said on April 25, 2023 at 5:39 pm

    Farts and Tucker Carlson will forever be linked in nn.c history.

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  20. Jason T. said on April 25, 2023 at 6:21 pm

    Dave @ 3 said: “Megyn Kelly has a show on a Sirius channel, the same channel that Dr. Laura is on, a channel named Triumph.”

    Megyn Kelly and Dr. Laura have a show on the “Triumph” channel? Sounds like the perfect radio station … FOR ME TO POOP ON.

    (You keep settin’ ’em up, Dave, and I’ll keep hittin’ ’em for you.)

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  21. FDChief said on April 25, 2023 at 6:28 pm

    I’m not too old, but I’m also no longer the musclehead I was in my green youth, so I’m not really enthralled with lifting anymore.

    Instead I’ve returned to a sport I enjoyed afterwards, and am beginning kendo after a thirty-year hiatus.

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  22. Deborah said on April 25, 2023 at 6:58 pm

    Do I think Biden can win? Yes I do. Do I believe Biden will definitely win? I would not put money on that. It’s so critical that Trump not win, I will do whatever I can to stop that, I’ll give money, make calls and knock on doors. At this point trying to come up with a better candidate than Biden seems like a waste of time and money.

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  23. LAMary said on April 26, 2023 at 1:55 am

    Rudy Giuliani didn’t acknowledge his fart. He was on camera and the poor woman next to him heard it and smelled it but Rudy pretended it never happened. You are a more honest person than Rudy Giuliani when it comes to farts.

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  24. Dexter Friend said on April 26, 2023 at 3:37 am

    Trump is a fucking loser who should be in prison, should have been locked up long ago.
    One of the MSNBC guest commentators said the 2020 election was decided by the same number as the attendance of a B1G10 football game. So yeah, as the hostage crisis ended Jimmy Carter’s second term chances, something out of the blue could down Biden. And Biden was old A.F. in 2020, what’s a few more years? No age discrimination, please.
    DeSantis is about to descend into free-fall and never recover. I think he is a light-weight, as MAGAs want Trump and not DeSantis.
    For the record, we must end hope that Joe will replace Kamala. She’s been put in charge of the abortion issues, very important in the 2024 race. And yes, she’s great at that, so I am backing off my criticism of her as VP. She has shut me up.
    I am excited a bit as my retro pick-up truck has been restored to its glory and I get it tomorrow at 3:00 PM. It’s a 23 year old F-150, not a show truck, ready for junk haulin’. Rev ’em up!
    And Lord, please help not to throw a rock at vehicles with “Joe and The Ho, Gotta Go !!!” stickers plastered on their bumpers and trunks. Anyone else see these? I wanna start some shit with them, but they are too many. The Biden hatred in Ohio is stupendously horrifying to me.

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  25. David C said on April 26, 2023 at 6:14 am

    Straight up “Fuck Joe Biden” has replaced Calvin pissing on whatever on the back windows of pickup trucks and others. I do once in a while see “Joe and the Ho…”. Whatever, unreconstructed assholes gotta unreconstructed asshole.

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  26. Jeff Borden said on April 26, 2023 at 9:25 am

    Gabriel Sherman of Vanity Fair has written there is a new theory about why Fox dumped Putin’s propaganda poodle and it relates to why Rupert Murdoch suddenly ended his engagement to Ann Lesley Smith.

    According to Sherman, Tucker Carlson gave a speech at the Heritage Foundation’s 50th anniversary gala last Friday night in which he declared there was a manichean battle between “good” and “evil” in ‘Murican politics and he was convinced prayer was critical to winning the battle. A Fox source said Rupert is “freaked out” by spiritual talk and he didn’t like Carlson assuming a “messianic” pose.

    Smith, it seems, was also a true believer in the “End Times” and read aloud from the Book of Exodus at a dinner at Rupert’s wine vineyards with Murdoch and Carlson. She also told Rupert that Fish Sticks was “a messenger from God.” Rupert reportedly sat stone-faced, but a few days later, he ended the engagement.

    The lord moves in mysterious ways, it seems.

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  27. Mark P said on April 26, 2023 at 10:01 am

    I have at times wished I had a supply of my own bumper stickers. Maybe “I AM AN IDIOT.” Or, “BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THEY LET MORONS DRIVE.” With very sticky and hard to remove adhesive. I could pretend to bend down in the Walmart parking lot to tie my shoelace and put it on their bumper.

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  28. alex said on April 26, 2023 at 10:11 am

    The bumper sticker I first started seeing this week:


    The talking point I’ve been hearing people drop all week (first between a waitress and a customer, then at an HOA meeting last night):

    “Biden is raising interest rates on people with good credit so that people with bad credit can get loans and credit cards.”

    Even without Tucker Carlson, the right-wing media sphere is spreading poison everywhere and making people I have to deal with every day just plain fucking insufferable.

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  29. David C said on April 26, 2023 at 11:35 am

    God damn, that’s the dumbest shit ever, isn’t it Alex? First, Biden doesn’t have a damned thing to do with interest rates. He’d probably like to punch Jerome Powell (R, Trump appointed) in the nuts. Second, interest rates are still lower than their 30 year average. We’ve been conditioned to thinking 2-3% interest rates are normal. Our first mortgage was 11.5% in 1989. When we refinanced at 7% we were over the moon. Now they’re what? Around 6%? They’re not just raising interest rates for people with good credit. We’re looking to buy another car and we got pre-approved for 5.12 with a credit rating of around 790 from our credit union. The average used car loan, I’m hearing, is 13%. They’re nicking those with high credit ratings, they’re taking a meat axe to those with low ratings. People are so ignorant.

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