Edited to add: Friends, I wrote this yesterday before news of the plane crash broke. Obviously, we’ll all be watching those developments today. Feel free to thread hijack all you want.
I’ve probably talked about this before here, but if there are any newbies in the readership, here it is again: I’ve always felt a certain not-too-serious sisterhood with Caroline Kennedy. We’re so close in age — she is two days younger than me — that it’s the sort of thing your mom tells you when you’re both little, and her dad is president. What’s more, her younger brother’s birthday is on the same date as mine, three years later. So it’s:
Me: November 25, 1957
Caroline: November 27, 1957
John Kennedy Jr.: November 25, 1960
Mostly this was taken as a joke in my family: “I see Caroline Kennedy is interning for the New York Daily News this summer,” my mom might say, by way of noting that I was spending my break working the cash register in a Mexican restaurant. Caroline went to law school. Caroline has published many books. Caroline has served as ambassador to two countries (Japan, Australia). Needless to say, Caroline lives a cooler life than I do, but that’s to be expected.
This week Caroline made news for a devastating letter she sent to senators considering her cousin, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., as the president’s nominee to run the Department of Health & Human Services. You can see her read it here. The letter itself was very brave; she described her cousin as a “predator” and a malign influence on others. She scolded him for appropriating her father’s image and family’s reputation for his ridiculous presidential run, before “groveling to Trump for a job.” We’ll see if it has an effect.
But, shallow doppelgänger than I am, I couldn’t help but notice her face. I don’t want to snip copyright photos, so let’s look at the public-domain Wikipedia shot:
That is a 67-year-old, well-lived-in face. (Albeit one with Irish DNA and likely our generation’s casual relationship with sunblock.) And I think we’ve forgotten what that looks like.
We’re so inured to today’s fillered, Botoxed, surgically altered, Instagram-filtered face, we think that’s what older women should do, whether they want to or not. JLo is 55, and has not only no lines, but a 25-year-old’s body. The old ad line for hair color — “Does she or doesn’t she?” has moved from hair to our entire body. And speaking of 55-year-olds (in April), let’s take a look at another older woman:
It’s the new First Sex Worker’s official portrait. In the name of Photoshop, have you ever seen more filters deployed in your life? Not to mention the heavily plasticized body, with the breast implants, the slanty eyes, and god knows what else. Also 55 (although this photo is a few years old:
This photo was singled out for derision when she published it on her Instagram. It says a lot about her, if you ask me.
You can go online and find photos of both these women before they entered the Mar-a-Lago fembot factory. Others, too. Kristi Noem, age 53:
I can hear some of you men, or at least your horny ids, saying so what if Kristi and Kim got a glow-up? That high-necked pink blouse was doing her no favors, and her new hair is sexy. My reply would be: Why did she change her look so drastically? To catch the eye of a known sexual assailant, that’s why.
Speaking of Mar-a-lago:
(Shudder.)
Anyway. I’m watching the RFK Jr. hearing now. I can’t figure out whether Bobby has perma-dyed his skin the color of a walnut, whether he supplements with Bronx Colors makeup like his would-be boss, or if he simply spends so much time outside, maybe flexing his guns on the beach shirtless in a pair of jeans, or what.
Are we doomed? I feel like we probably are.
Mark P said on January 30, 2025 at 9:51 am
Let’s see, my observations:
First, I am relieved that Trump has given us the benefit of his empathy and insight on the crash. When I checked AP News for information on the crash, for one second I thought a headline about RFK Jr, Tulsi Gabbard, and Kash Patel was more information on the crash. I dare not say what I felt for that brief instant.
Second, as a man, I can say without reservation, that I do not prefer plastic women over actual women.
Third, are those two photos actually of the same puppy killer?
Fourth, I have never felt so out of step with my fellow Americans. I cannot understand how people can look at this country and not immediately grab their pitchforks and torches.
Fifth, so now we have an actual plan for concentration camps.
Sixth, I desperately want to wake up.
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Scout said on January 30, 2025 at 11:34 am
The first concentration camp 10 days in. The horrors are just beginning.
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Jeff Borden said on January 30, 2025 at 11:39 am
It should surprise absolutely no one that tRump has eliminated the Aviation Security Advisory Committee, which was formed after the bombing of a Pan Am flight over Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988. tRump said in announcing this that it was designed to eliminate a waste of resources and give more authority to the Department of Homeland Security.
Now, we’ll have puppy killer Kristi Noem (DHS head) and reality TV personality Sean Duffy, who’s our new Secretary of Transportation. No doubt these two crack intellects will get to the root of the disaster. What a shit show and we’re just 10 days in. Good times!
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Julie Robinson said on January 30, 2025 at 11:53 am
I’ll confess to a sharp intake of breath when I saw the recent pictures of Caroline. I’m 11 months older than her, and I only have very fine lines of wrinkles; indeed my 44 yo daughter has more than I. Lack of tanning ability plus a couple of bad burns meant I embraced sunscreen and face lotion morning and evening.
It is refreshing that Caroline doesn’t seem to care, and also apparently never had orthodontia done?
Yesterday was really hard around here and every time I went online there was fresh horror. Now this plane crash, which affects the figure skating community. They were coming back from a training camp, held right after Nationals, when so many were already in Wichita. It seems to be young teens and some coaches.
A married couple had been world champions in 1994 for Russia, and like so many of their countrymen, had lived and coached here. Their son was born here and came in fourth in the men’s competition. Now he is all alone at 23. Multiply that by all in the crash and your heart has to weep.
And then you know who seems to hit at conspiracy theories. Awful awful awful.
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Jeff Gill said on January 30, 2025 at 11:57 am
A Reichstag air crash, eh?
Note to fellow readers: if you click on the Noem diptych, it shows up in scale.
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Dexter Friend said on January 30, 2025 at 12:24 pm
For the first time ever, I agree with Drumph; what the hell was the helo doing flying straight into the RJ? Why does ATC daily allow 200 feet altitude helos flying willy-nilly under rolling and landing aircraft? On the busiest single runway in the world, as National only has 2 runways? I have flown into LaGuardia before, with the approach mostly over water, but the few times I flew into Washington, it was Dulles. LaGuardia gives much more concern for concern, and National seems just as shaky.
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ROGirl said on January 30, 2025 at 12:57 pm
If Caroline smoked, that could have made her lines worse. I hate looking at my face in the mirror (I’m a year older than you and Caroline), but the Florida trio are scary, and no doubt scarry. They could take their drag queen show on the road.
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MS said on January 30, 2025 at 1:15 pm
I just discovered you/your writing. Thank Frank Bruni.
“It’s the new First Sex Worker’s official portrait. In the name of Photoshop, have you ever seen more filters deployed in your life?” “I can’t figure out whether Bobby has perma-dyed his skin the color of a walnut…” Fabulous! I look forward to reading more!
P.S. Please join Bluesky!
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Dorothy said on January 30, 2025 at 1:20 pm
I can’t even find the words to reflect on what Turd Brain said today about the plane crash so I’ll just leave it there.
I’m almost 3 months older than Caroline, and I too have a little brother three years younger than me – he was born a day before JFK Jr. which happened to fall on Thanksgiving Day in 1960. He was baby #8 for my mom and dad. I have always admired Caroline and her skin/lines are likely a genetic predisposition as well as influenced by sun exposure. I hope she wasn’t a smoker. Her mother was. I welcome any lines on my face that are visible. It shows I’ve lived a long while and that’s a good thing. When I look at the age spots on my hands and the way my hands have changed over the years, I don’t fret. I’ve done so many tasks with those hands and I’m proud of that work.
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Jeff Gill said on January 30, 2025 at 1:23 pm
We’ve earned our age spots, Dorothy. Be proud!
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Heather said on January 30, 2025 at 1:28 pm
If aviation is so much more dangerous due to DEI, as Dear Leader suggested, I wonder why a certain person here has never mentioned it before.
As for aging, I’m of the opinion that for women aging naturally is a radical act. Never say never, but right now I’m not planning on coloring my greying hair or getting any fillers or Botox. About my hair, a good friend said “but it will age you!” Well, no, I’ll look my age. When did that become so horrible?
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Julie Robinson said on January 30, 2025 at 1:46 pm
After coloring my hair for years I embraced the grey, and I would never have fillers or anything else. But skin cancer, that I’m not interested in. Sunscreen it is.
I never had braces either, and my folks probably couldn’t have afforded it. Small teeth made it unnecessary.
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Sherri said on January 30, 2025 at 1:47 pm
I thought gender affirming medical procedures were supposed to be verboten.
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Jason T. said on January 30, 2025 at 1:53 pm
The thing about “Mar-a-Lago face,” as it’s being called, is that it’s so damned artificial-looking and, frankly, unattractive, on both men and women.
It actually looks painful to have your skin stretched in those ways and it’s deeply off-putting. Kristi Noem was a perfectly normal, attractive person, and now she looks like a discount-store mannequin.
I can understand not wanting to look old — I find myself lingering on ads for hair replacement systems — and not wanting to go gently into that good night.
But c’mon, who wants to look like a human sex doll? Ugh.
For a man who pays so much attention (supposedly) to aesthetics, everything he’s done has been ugly and cheap-looking — his buildings, his merchandise, and now, human beings. Every thing he touches, indeed, turns to shit. He’s “King Midas in Reverse,” as the Hollies sang.
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Mark P said on January 30, 2025 at 2:03 pm
I’m sure I have mentioned before about my brother who made some business trips to Japan. He always grew his gray beard out before he left because, he said, the Japanese honor their elders.
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Jeff Borden said on January 30, 2025 at 2:05 pm
I’m sure the aviator is fully on board with anything Fearless Leader does. MAGAts are nothing if not loyal to their great orange deity.
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alex said on January 30, 2025 at 2:09 pm
Caroline looks like people I’ve known who lived their entire lives in places like Florida and Arizona, but I’m sure heredity is a big part of it too.
I was blessed with oily skin. People don’t believe me when I tell them I’m 63, and I smoked like a chimney for several decades and never used sunscreen despite spending as much time outdoors as anyone. So far I’ve had a basal cell lesion removed from my face and will probably have more eventually, but I’m not terribly concerned. My brother is 61 and easily passes for being in his early 40s. And we both still have dark hair with only a few hints of gray. Our parents were mistaken for being in their 40s well into their 60s and lived into their 90s. My dad might even make it to 100.
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Jakash said on January 30, 2025 at 2:34 pm
I saw that photo of Caroline when the news about her letter came out and it just made me sad. Not so much because of how she looks in it, but because it was yet another reminder of how many people who are the same age as I am, or younger, and who seemed stuck in time as “forever young” are now, uh, old. Why, the same thing has happened to me, dagnabbit, and it’s quite disturbing!
Thanks to Jeff G. for the tip about clicking on the stretched photos — I was too clueless to think of that. I agree with Jason — whatever one thinks of her as a person, Ms. Noem was pretty in the photo to the left. The appeal of the viper look, featured in the photo to the right, which is shared by the former nude model above her and so many others, completely escapes me.
As mentioned by the new nn.c reader @ 8 (welcome!), “whether Bobby has perma-dyed his skin the color of a walnut” is certainly a keeper!
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Sherri said on January 30, 2025 at 3:05 pm
As the Senate mulls putting an anti-vaxxer in charge of public health, my clinic was screening for measles this morning when I went in for a blood draw.
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Scout said on January 30, 2025 at 3:13 pm
Caroline’s skin looks exactly like my great aunt’s did. Her sister, my other great aunt, took after a different branch of the family. That kind of aging is hereditary.
Dare we hope a certain assholiator has been jettisoned out into the air lock?
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Dexter Friend said on January 30, 2025 at 4:01 pm
Jack smoked cigars, Jackie was on the cigarettes. Teddy had a plan to ban tobacco advertising that worked just a little. Senator Ted Kennedy was always fighting for health care for all…he really tried.
I started smoking the day after I graduated high school until age 32, on December 19, 1981, a bummed-from-wife Salem 100, 9:30 PM. I tried all brands. I only smoked 2 packs a week. But I had to have those 6 smokes a day.
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