It appears spring is finally here. I kept the windows open all night and woke to the distant sounds of the early morning traffic on the freeway. (It’s not quite a mile distant.) I’m trying mightily to get back into three-posts-a-week mode, but as I noted earlier, current events are coming along so fast I don’t feel capable of dealing with them, something I have in common with millions of my countrymen.
That said, here are three stories to discuss, all gift links, two about you-know-who, the last just good writing.
First, we have the stupidest story of the lot, how the Secretary of the Navy was fired, because he couldn’t conjure a new class of battleships on an impossible timeline:
“They’ll be the fastest, the biggest and by far — 100 times more powerful than any battleship ever built,” Mr. Trump boasted at a news conference at his Mar-a-Lago estate and resort in Florida a few days before Christmas. (John) Phelan, a billionaire investor who has a home near the club, stood next to the president as he made the announcement.
Mr. Phelan’s job was to deliver the first of Mr. Trump’s battleships by 2028.
Fucking battleships. When we’re currently in a war where the deadliest weapon is a cheap drone. But wait, there’s more:
Presidents rarely pay close attention to military procurement, but Mr. Trump has spoken repeatedly about his plans for a new “Trump-class” battleship. In a February speech to soldiers at Fort Bragg, N.C., Mr. Trump insisted that he had helped design the new class of ships that bear his name.
“I put a little more spirit in the hull,” Mr. Trump told the troops. “I want that ship to look gorgeous, you know.”
For Mr. Trump, the ships recalled “Victory at Sea,” a documentary television series that ran in the 1950s and touted the role that battleships and other Navy vessels played in World War II.
“Did you ever see ‘Victory at Sea?’ ” he mused to reporters in January when talking about the new battleships. “What a great thing that is to watch!”
I can’t stand it. Meanwhile, the next target for the pimping of the capitol:
Next up on President Trump’s renovation tour of Washington, D.C.: the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, which he called “filthy” and “dirty” and in need of a major upgrade.
The president appears to think it should look more like a Florida swimming pool, because that’s who he’s hiring to “improve” it:
He said one contractor proposed removing the pool’s granite and replacing it with stone as part of a three-year renovation that would cost $300 million.
“I said, ‘No, there’s a better way of doing it,’” Mr. Trump recalled. “I said, ‘What we’re going to do is I’m going to call all three of these people that have worked for me in the past doing swimming pools.” He said he told the contractors to “give me a good price,” and one agreed to do the job for $1.5 million to $2 million.
He said the contractor began work two weeks ago and has “scrubbed” the surface of the pool.
“Now we have a nice, clean surface on which we’re putting an industrial grade swimming pool topping,” Mr. Trump said in a video on social media. “They said, ‘What color would you like, sir? It’s called American flag blue. I said, ‘That’s the color I want; I want American flag blue.’”
Blue. It’s not a fucking swimming pool, you brainless twit. It’s a symbol of tranquility and, y’know, reflection. Now it’s going to look like a water feature in the middle of a shopping mall. Which, p.s., don’t even have blue liners anymore.
Finally, I gotta note the passing of Joy Harmon, who fans of “Cool Hand Luke” might remember as the girl washing the car in front of the chain gang. A very well-done obit:
Joy Harmon, who needed only three minutes, a bucket of soapy water and a housedress held together with a safety pin to sear herself into Hollywood history as a chain-gang prisoner’s fantasy come to life in the classic 1967 film “Cool Hand Luke,” died on April 14 in Los Angeles. She was 87.
“Anybody look dat good got to be named Lucille,” as George HamiltonKennedy said. “Pop, safety pin, pop!”
OK, that’s enough for Friday. See you next week.
David C said on April 24, 2026 at 9:16 am
I work in defense industry and all I can say is look at everything he has fucked up and apply it to DoD procurement which was already fucked up and then double it.
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Jeff Gill said on April 24, 2026 at 11:54 am
Current events:
1.) Our dogwood is fully in blossom.
2.) Ruby-throated hummingbirds are back in central Ohio from their tropical sojourn.
3.) Patrick Ryan, author of the recently published novel “Buckeye,” visited Licking County last night thanks to our local library system; I wholeheartedly commend this book to any and all. A sweeping view from the end of World War I to the bicentennial year of 1976, mostly set in a fictive small town in a very real part of northwest Ohio (south of Fostoria, north of Carey), it is a remarkable character driven narrative. He shared the news he just got his 17th foreign edition, 16 translations most recently into Portugese, and most of them change the title to something like “The Day After the Storm” because, well, “Buckeye”?
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Julie Robinson said on April 24, 2026 at 1:32 pm
Our current events:
1. Got a guy working on a driveway expansion. Gravel, not concrete.
2. Got another guy working on the yard, currently installing irrigation for the garden areas.
3. Got two more guys installing a hot tub. (Squee!)
We are firmly in our outsourcing era.
Buckeye depressed me. Well written, yes.
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Deborah said on April 24, 2026 at 1:41 pm
I know poets have described the cycle of winter turning into spring forever, still it’s amazing to me every time it happens, even though I’ve lived through many, many years of experiencing it. As a kid growing up in Miami I didn’t get that phenomenon, being basically in the same “season” all year long. Maybe that’s why it seems so full of wonder to me now even after all these years.
Did I mention that I’m going back to NM in a couple of weeks where spring is much further along than usual? I try to be there a bit before mid-May because that’s considered the safe date for gardening, post frost. If you don’t catch it at the right time, roots haven’t had time to adjust before it gets hot, in the intense sun of high altitude.
It’s quite nice in Chicago right now with tulips all up and down Michigan Ave as they are every year. Lovely.
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Dexter Friend said on April 24, 2026 at 2:42 pm
George Kennedy. Not an editor am I, just a helper.
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alex said on April 24, 2026 at 2:54 pm
At present I can quit the WaPo anytime without having to wait out a paid-ahead subscription, and I’m finally ready to quit them like a bad habit.
The editorial board writes opinions that are mostly just mildly irritating but today there’s one that’s off-the-charts infuriating: That banning conversion therapy is viewpoint discrimination.
Well, I’m going to start doing some viewpoint discrimination of my own and cancel those fuckers for good.
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Suzanne said on April 24, 2026 at 3:20 pm
I got a letter today that my Medicare Supplement insurance is going up $40 per month. WTF. But they assure me that there will be no more premium increases for another year. How nice of them.
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Julie Robinson said on April 24, 2026 at 3:47 pm
Mid-year? I didn’t even know they could do that. Grrr.
My WaPo subscription doesn’t run out until October, but I’ll be cancelling. I loved the book reviews, and when they axed that department, I sent my subscription money to Ron Charles on Substack instead.
I pretty much just read Carolyn Hax and happy stories about animals, never their editorials.
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alex said on April 25, 2026 at 10:41 am
Julie, in their pleas to me to come back they offered a discount deal with month-to-month autopay. I could accept those terms. But I won’t accept the ridiculous right-wing screeds from their new “editorial board.” Their other most ludicrous opinion this week was a hit piece on Senator Mark Kelly that was larded with accusations of “socialism, socialism” in an effort to brand him as unfit to run for President.
Between Bezos and Bari Weiss, they’ve commandeered two of the biggest brands in journalism and turned them into state-run media a la Viktor Orban. I don’t think we can call these outlets “legacy media” anymore because both have destroyed whatever legacies they had.
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Jeff Borden said on April 25, 2026 at 10:54 am
As a second-generation newspaper guy, I’m hard-wired to support them. Most of the time. But the Post under that bastard Bezos has morphed to the point I no longer trust it nor want to support it monetarily. I highly recommend an online subscription to The Atlantic. They’ve been doing phenomenal work covering the tRump train wreck.
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Jakash said on April 25, 2026 at 1:28 pm
Current event:
It’s Independent Bookstore Day, nationwide:
https://www.bookweb.org/sites/default/files/diy/Independent%20Bookstore%20Day%202026%20Press%20Release.pdf
Did anybody participate in the Poetry Challenge in the NYT, led by A. O. Scott and Aliza Aufrichtig, guiding folks through memorization of a short W. H. Auden poem, “The More Loving One”? It consisted of an article by them each day and a fun, interactive game to make the memorization easy. It was the second year for the idea. I enjoyed it, without even being much of a poetry fan. We don’t subscribe, but were allowed access via the daily emails we get, so I don’t know if this link will work, or not:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2026/books/wh-auden-the-more-loving-one-poetry-challenge.html? If one is a subscriber, I’m sure you could start from Monday’s article and complete the whole thing.
The right-wing destruction of fine newspapers is such a conundrum. We subscribe to the Chicago Tribune, Sun-Times and WaPo (and The New Yorker). The powers-that-be at both the Trib and WaPo (which we pay 99-cents-a-month for) both often disgust me, but there are LOTS of really good journalists still working at each. I don’t want to give Bezos or Alden Capital money, but I also don’t want those papers to go out of business. I don’t subscribe to either to read the opinions of their clueless editorial boards, regardless.
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Deborah said on April 25, 2026 at 2:49 pm
Bezos disgusts me as do Zuckerberg and Musk, oh and Theil and the guy with the egg shaped head that I never can remember his name nor do I want to be reminded. And Altman too. Those guys have waaaayyyy to much money. Here’s a good article (gifted) about billionaires from the Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/05/billionaire-consequence-free-reality/686588/?gift=e2EpXMuPtOgT-df8U_sJIMJ4SdoCh_X9lghxidjvxDg&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share
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Jakash said on April 25, 2026 at 3:26 pm
This seems to be about a month old, but if you haven’t seen it, I think many folks here might enjoy it. A toe-tapping Woody Guthrie protest song adapted and sung by Bette Midler, with Barbara Hershey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBj57ivPsxQ
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Dexter Friend said on April 25, 2026 at 3:45 pm
A few days ago , after water ruined my coaxial cables, I switched to a Xumo box for TV streaming. Much more limited DVR storage, the remote is less easy to use, but my coaxial cables running every which-way around the house were old and cracking…so I modernized. The Xumo is as small a a man’s wallet, and thinner. I was told by the first technician to ask for the $65 professional installation instead of the mail-direct option, and I now know why…the install-technician took at least 40 minutes calling technical HQ, much of that time trying to activate the DVR option…the tech was punching buttons on his phone connection quickly all this time. So anyway, I played the old man disabled USA military card, asking for a waiver of the $65, and they did give me a $20 credit and the nice lady knocked off another $5 off my regular monthly bill. I found that if you call and call and call again, someone can assist in getting the high-dollar bill reduced…mine got up to $336 monthly…last month, $191. No kidding, and I kept every channel. Ya gotta beg and whimper and keep after them.
The tech said it may take 6 weeks for the cable people to come bury the line to the modem, in my back yard…that was 4 days ago. They just did it. I B Dam ! Spectrum is on the ball.
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Deborah said on April 25, 2026 at 8:15 pm
Have any of you journalists herewith ever been to the WH Correspondents dinner? I hope many don’t show up at that event tonight but maybe to the after parties in protest. Will there be any hecklers at the official dinner?
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alex said on April 25, 2026 at 9:55 pm
Hecklers? Heck, they have shooters.
Bet the mentalist didn’t see it coming. What they needed was a comedian.
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Deborah said on April 26, 2026 at 5:32 am
Once again Heather Cox Richardson has an interesting letter https://substack.com/home/post/p-195498428 she’s so good
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