Even as a native Buckeye, I don’t think I came across the rural Ohio hamlet of East Palestine once before that train derailed there a while back, and here it pops up again on Monday:
San Francisco 49ers owner Jed York pleaded no contest Monday to two misdemeanor charges after his arrest in East Palestine, Ohio, over the weekend.
Columbiana County court records show that York was ordered to serve one day in jail for each charge, to be served concurrently, and was given one day of credit for time served. He also paid two fines totaling $1,150.
Also according to those court records, York’s initial charge was “engaging in prostitution,” which was reduced to disorderly conduct and possessing criminal tools, and that “$160 seized shall be forfeited to MVHTFF (Mahoning Valley Human Trafficking Task Force).” When reached by USA TODAY Sports, the MVHTFF did not immediately have additional information.
What, one might ask, is the owner of the San Francisco NFL franchise doing in East Palestine, allegedly sporting with hookers? I asked my Ohio sports-news authority, who replied:
His mom is the sister of previous team owner Eddie DeBartolo, another Youngstown mafioso who was busted on a similar charge some years back. They just like that dirty trailer trash.
Ah, well. That makes sense. Robert Kraft, the Patriots owner, was busted for patronizing one of those massage parlors employing…what was the name of the place? Orchids of Asia Day Spa. It must have something to do with constant exposure to the heart-stopping beauties who populate the ranks of NFL cheerleading squads. One seeks something different, the way a man who can eat all the lobster and caviar his heart desires sometimes might enjoy a hot dog, just as a change of pace.
Anyway, thinking of East Palestine reminded me of one of Charlie LeDuff’s more ridiculous columns, when he was still employed by The Detroit News:
The poor folks of East Palestine, Ohio.
There they stood last week, staring into the sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of Air Force One, which at that very moment was supposed to be flying overhead — 150 miles from the White House as the crow flies — making its way from Washington D.C. to Detroit.
Yeah, I totally believe that happened.
Now it’s Tuesday, and I still haven’t got this done. My freelance work ramps up this week and next, culminating with Labor Day weekend, and after that I’ll have about a month of summer to enjoy. In the meantime, two items from the You Can’t Make This Shit Up file:
The racist racists in the Trump administration, including the director of the Art in Embassies program, describes this painting as “aesthetically terrifying” and “very woke.”
The racist who described it as such is Erin Scavino. Remember that name.
President Donald Trump said he is considering changing the name of Lake Ontario, the easternmost of the Great Lakes spanning the U.S.-Canada border, to Lake America, as the U.S.-Canada trade fight escalates.
“The United States is giving serious consideration to changing the name of Lake Ontario to Lake America in that we don’t expect to doing much business with Ontario any longer,” he wrote on Truth Social on Tuesday morning.
I hate the president. And all his racist toadies. That is all. Better get this up before something else derails me.
EDIT: And now Dolly Parton! Arrrgghhh.
Dave said on August 25, 2026 at 1:39 pm
I have a whole list of descriptive phrases, learned from a long railroading career, that make me sound most uneducated but somehow, they seem to fit when I think of this moronic idiot desecrating the White House.
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Julie Robinson said on August 25, 2026 at 3:07 pm
Did you ever hear anyone say anything negative about Dolly Parton? RIP.
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Deborah said on August 25, 2026 at 3:20 pm
I actually shed a tear for good old Dolly, loved her. She did a lot of good in her time.
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Andrea said on August 25, 2026 at 4:18 pm
So unfair that we have to live in a world without Dolly Parton and with Donald Trump still polluting our lives. Although if I were the Grim Reaper I would prefer her to him as well. No one wants him.
That painting is beautiful.
Planning my next international trip to Canada, as an apology tour and opportunity to give my meager tourist dollars to folks who deserve it.
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Jeff Borden said on August 25, 2026 at 4:25 pm
The MAGA morons have no taste, of course, as any photo taken at Mar-a-Lardo will illustrate. It’s why they get someone like Vanilla Ice to perform on New Year’s Eve. Expecting these dolts to understand and appreciate art is like asking a cow to do physics problems. Ain’t gonna happen. The Nazis hated all things modern including paintings, some of which they assembled into a “Degenerate Art” show that toured the Reich. Jazz, of course, was gutter music created by black people. Cabarets were shuttered because the always sensitive Nazis did not enjoy being mocked by comics and, besides, there were icky gay people at those shows. Show me the differences between them and these tRump goons?
And if we’re renaming Lake Ontario, it has to be Lake Epstein.
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ROGirl said on August 25, 2026 at 4:26 pm
Erin should have just gone all in and called it degenerate art.
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alex said on August 25, 2026 at 9:19 pm
So now they’ll start to ban it, nab it and sell it at Sotheby’s.
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BigHank53 said on August 26, 2026 at 4:55 am
“Woke” pronounced with a hard “R”, it would seem.
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David C said on August 26, 2026 at 6:08 am
It would clash pretty heavily with their Thomas Kinkade prints.
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Jeff Gill said on August 26, 2026 at 9:39 am
Serious. Consideration. Uh huh.
My spouse, who is a fine musician with deep appreciation for Dolly Parton’s skill as a singer and songwriter, let alone as a brilliant philanthropist, noted this morning that while at any time Dolly’s death would have evoked a vast wave of emotion (I mean: Eminem, Lily Tomlin, Seth MacFarlane, Jane Fonda, Jack White — the range of devotion & appreciation!), there’s just an upwelling of “thank you, here’s reason to focus on a different person and a very different way of relating to the world, even if it’s to say good bye.”
Having said that, it’s hard not to think about how different the reactions are going to be when another currently 80 year old Famous Person dies. And I don’t mean George Bush or Bill Clinton, either (although I hope for both their families’ sakes they each outlive the tenure in office of the Current Occupant). As many on social media have posted in various forms: “Hey, Grim Reaper: you had ONE JOB.”
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Julie Robinson said on August 26, 2026 at 12:15 pm
The Grim Reaper has taken another wrong 80 yo, Tim Curry. I knew he had a stroke and was in comprised health, but u
I’m still sad. May have to rewatch Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight.
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Dave said on August 26, 2026 at 12:40 pm
Jeff Gill, yesterday my neighbor was working outside and I asked if he’d heard the news. When I told him, he asked how old she was and when I said 80, he said they got the wrong 80 year old. This from a man who once told me he was once a small government Republican, not that I’m sure that person ever existed in reality.
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Peter said on August 26, 2026 at 1:46 pm
Another website had this about Tim Curry: “Wrong 80 year old Home Alone 2 Actor and SNL Host Dies”.
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Suzanne said on August 26, 2026 at 5:16 pm
Even the Grim Reaper isn’t capable of doing its job with the current administration in place! The death of expertise writ large.
Remind me once again: how old is Mitch McConnell? Another swing and a miss…or maybe not.
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Sherri said on August 26, 2026 at 7:38 pm
I’m a Tennessean, so I remember Dolly back when she was on the Porter Wagoner Show, which my grandparents watched regularly. Country music was always around; my parents had the clock radio tuned to WSM, so I woke up to country music and went to sleep to the Grand Old Opry. I didn’t really appreciate her until I was grown and away from Tennessee, when I actually paid attention to her lyrics.
Everybody loved Dolly because Dolly loved everyone. Too many people want to pull the ladder up after they climb out of poverty, but Dolly kept building more ladders.
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susan said on August 26, 2026 at 7:48 pm
Suzanne, Old Mitch is 84, so he missed the 80 year cut-off…. Damn. Of course, maybe he didn’t. We don’t know if he is alive or daid.
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ROGirl said on August 27, 2026 at 4:32 am
As for Mitch, turtles can live to be over 100 years old.
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Deborah said on August 27, 2026 at 5:35 pm
Of course no one is going to call Lake Ontario, Lake America. Like no one calls the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. Heck no one calls Willis tower anything but Sears Tower, that I know of. And how uncreative can you get just to put the word “America” in there instead of trying to think of a more poetic name. Remember Freedom Fries, yeah how did that go over. How petty can you get, It’s all so embarrassing.
Also don’t let us forget the Department of War, which no one ever uses, except maybe Hegseth.
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Carter Cleland said on August 27, 2026 at 5:57 pm
I’m still pushing for Mar-A-Lago to revert to Sea to Lake.
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Mark P said on August 27, 2026 at 7:36 pm
As of a few minutes ago (7:30 pm, 27 Aug) Google Maps still shows Lake Ontario.
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susan said on August 27, 2026 at 7:43 pm
Mark P, GoogleEarth (of all apps) still has Gulf of America. Google, such cowards. And so embarrassing.
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Deborah said on August 27, 2026 at 10:11 pm
My niece in Minneapolis told me that when she was grocery shopping today a woman with a baby asked her to pay for her groceries. My niece said she would and then at the checkout counter it came to $355!!!! Holy cow! And my niece went ahead and paid it. She didn’t expect it to be that much, but groceries are so outrageous now. The woman had a full cart, with food, also boxes of diapers and a giant tub of Tide which I guess can really add up. My niece said the woman was obviously very poor. How do people make it these days?
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Jeff Gill said on August 28, 2026 at 1:44 pm
The Budweiser Clydesdales will be in downtown Newark, Ohio this evening from 4 to 7 pm, doing a circuit of Courthouse Square at 6 pm. That is all!
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Julie Robinson said on August 28, 2026 at 3:42 pm
Just for your birthday, Jeff! Hope you’re having a good one.
Deborah, I’ve really been noticing how much more everything is too. We’re comfortable, but still, $8 for a jar of mayonnaise that was $1 on sale pre-pandemic seems ridiculous.
And speaking of Covid, someone I helped vote 10 days ago seems to have given me a mild case. Our daughter too. We didn’t put the symptoms together until it was too late to test or get meds, but we’re pretty sure.
Worse, the inflammation has settled in my bad ankle and I’m back to wearing the hated boot. The fatigue has been crushing. Today was my first day back to exercise and after running a few quick errands I’m cooked. So I’m elevating and icing the ankle and just might have a snooze. Happy weekend, all.
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David C said on August 28, 2026 at 5:36 pm
I gave notice today that I’m retiring at the end of the year. It’s really been the best job I’ve ever had, but it’s time. We have a really good senior center here in Portage with a well equipped fitness center that’s only $60 a year to join. So I’m going to try to become a lean, mean, Mary taking care of machine. With her Parkinson’s I’m sure it’s going to be needed at some point. She’s doing fine now, so that’s another reason to get out and not wait until I was 70 like I was going to.
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alex said on August 29, 2026 at 9:09 am
One of the joys of retirement for me has been hosting out-of-town visitors over the last few weeks. The weather has been perfect for al fresco dining and enjoying the natural beauty of this place when it’s at its very best. It’s been helping me to disengage from the internet and appreciate what I have and count my blessings. That said, I’m eager to get outside and away from the computer. Later!
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Julie Robinson said on August 29, 2026 at 12:00 pm
David C, good for you! I do so love being retired, even if it feels like I don’t have much free time. It’s great that you’re going to work out. Having a stronger body has translated into a feeling of confidence about life that I didn’t have before. It’s the single best thing I’ve done in my caregiving journey.
The other is finding resources. I go to a monthly support group where everyone understands, listens, and commiserates. It’s run by a local Alzheimer’s resouce center, and their professionals help with places and people that can assist. I don’t know if there are similar Parkinson’s programs, but the two often go hand in hand. We have several members caregiving for Parkinson’s and dementia.
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David C said on August 29, 2026 at 12:28 pm
They have great Parkinson’s programs at the senior center. It’s a matter of getting Mary to go. She says “I don’t want to sit around with a bunch of sick people talking about how sick they are”. She’s like her mom in that way. Her mom resisted going into assisted living for the longest time saying she didn’t want to be around a bunch of old people. In a way, I can see their point. But it’s supposed to be a top notch exercise program led by a PT that specializes in movement disorders. I can’t nag Mary too much, she’s stubborn as hell and digs in her heels. It took me months to get her to go to a neurologist for her Parkinson’s. She went to Dr. Google and paid attention to all the MAHA bullshit and tried every supplement under the sun. She had a biopsy on nodules on her thyroid a week ago and the tests were inconclusive. They want to try again, but she’s said she won’t do it. They say there’s a 25-45% chance one of the nodules is malignant, but she won’t budge. To her inconclusive is the same as negative. All I can do is think “OK, it’s your life you’re putting on the line”. So that’s a big chunk of why I have to beef up. I feel like I’ll have some heavy duty care giving in the next few years and I want to be able to do it without hurting myself and forcing us into some kind of institutional care situation.
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Julie Robinson said on August 29, 2026 at 4:21 pm
Maybe it’s like AA, if you can’t get your loved one to go, you go to Al-Anon for yourself.
So my mom has a couple of problem areas and the doctor gave her referrals, but she hasn’t said yes to them yet, and may not. I’ve had phone calls and texts about it but haven’t responded. That didn’t stop them from sending a survey on my satisfaction with the scheduling process. I avoid surveys too.
I get it, I’m not looking for a lot of medical intervention myself and am currently avoiding getting a calcium test because I don’t want to climb in the little tube and have a freak-out.
So my mom has a couple of problem areas and the doctor gave her referrals, but she hasn’t said yes to them yet, and may not. I’ve had phone calls and texts about it but haven’t responded. That didn’t stop them from sending a survey on my satisfaction with the scheduling process. I avoid surveys too.
Just gave my two heart patients their Repatha shots and glanced at the receipt. Retail price: $2066, for a three month supply.
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basset said on August 30, 2026 at 12:16 am
David C, is that Portage, Michigan, Mrs. B’s home town? Seemed like a nice place the times I’ve been there.
(Hd a long description pf our care situation here and deleted it, twice. Doesn’t matter.)
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David C said on August 30, 2026 at 9:13 am
Yes, it’s Portage, MI. It’s a really nice place to live. Miles and miles of bike trails, a huge nature preserve just down the street, good city services, all the shopping we need within five miles, manageable traffic, close to Kalamazoo and all the good things that come with a university town. When we moved back to Michigan, we were originally looking in the Grand Rapids area, but it’s so expensive up there. Portage is much more affordable. We fell bass ackwards into it, but we’re glad we did.
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ROGirl said on August 30, 2026 at 10:08 am
I’m turning 70 in October, but I’m still working, first because I’m not ready to give up my paycheck, but also because I live alone and don’t have any family nearby, so it gets me out of the house. There have been more and more moments recently when I have been very tempted to just walk away from all the bullshit that goes at work every day, but it does keep my brain cells functioning, and while other people have been jettisoned by the powers that be (the marketing director just got canned on Friday), they haven’t gotten rid of me yet, despite the fact that it’s owned and run by evangelical Christians and I’m an agnostic Jew.
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