When Alan and I took the gun class we took back in whenever-that-was, the instructor was a chortling doofus who was unprofessional, but entertaining. Lots of jokes, and he frittered the all-day class away to the point that he had to rush through the required slides in about seven minutes at the end. But we all got our certificates, which I declined to parlay for a concealed-carry permit, because I’m just not a concealed-carry kind of girl.
At one point, he let slip the amazing (to me, anyway) fact that a loaded firearm is never more than a few steps away from any position in his home. He is always ready to defend it, and if I were an Amazon driver, I’d leave his packages at the end of the driveway and whistle for him to come pick them up. He also said he had three on his person at that very moment. Wow. It must be terrible to carry such paranoia around.
I thought of him when I read this jaw-dropping story in today’s Detroit News, which had me at the headline:
Cop, woman charged after toddler brings loaded gun to Canton Twp. daycare
You don’t say. More:
PLYMOUTH — A judge denied a Detroit police officer’s request to avoid surrendering the nine firearms in his home during an Oct. 1 court hearing in which he and a woman were charged with crimes after their 3-year-old son allegedly brought a loaded gun to a daycare center and passed it around to his classmates.
Detroit Police Officer Brandon John Ely, 28, and Rabab Ibrahim Al Zayad, 27, were arraigned in Plymouth’s 35th District Court in connection with the unsafe storage of a firearm. One of the toddler’s parents was arrested after the gun was discovered by an employee of the Childrens World Early Learning Center on Sheldon Road, Wayne County prosecutors said in a press release.
…According to prosecutors, the defendants’ 3-year-old son allegedly found an unsecured firearm in a backpack that had been stored in the classroom. The firearm was then passed to other students. A teacher observed the handgun, immediately intervened and removed it from the children.
Wow. There’s not much more to the story, except that the cop has already been “placed on restricted duty with no firearms, pending the outcome of the case,” and had to surrender the NINE weapons in the house, cop job or no cop job. I hope he loses it. What a maroon.
In other news at this hour, poor, poor Chief Justice John Roberts is having problems at his vacation home in Maine, where both the locals and the summer folk are giving him shit about his work. I mean, can you imagine?
For a long time, the chief justice’s life here was a story of potluck dinners and easy friendships, according to a summer of interviews with more than two dozen residents. Neighbors reveled in his position but kept exchanges with him about it brief or light. At a long-ago annual summer party, he used to participate in touch football, then call dinner to order by proclaiming: “Oyez, oyez, oyez, the lobsters are ready.”
But in recent years, as the Supreme Court has reshaped American life and handed more power to President Trump, a very personal form of anger has been rising here at the chief justice, transforming his getaways.
His summer retreats, long a well-known fact, are now a source of debate. Neighbors have taken to the water to protest him. Calling themselves “kayak-tivists,” they form flotillas facing his island home, holding waterproof signs conveying their disappointment. A local newspaper columnist recommended that people in town give him the finger.
Yeah, fuck that guy. If it’s so bad, he can go back to the pleasant Indiana beach town that spawned his candy ass. No lobsters, but plenty of fellow travelers to buck him up. I’m sorry my late colleague Leo Morris, who boosted Roberts mightily when he was nominated for the court by George Bush, isn’t alive to see this.
Combined with the story about the botched execution in Tennessee, it’s been a WEEK, I tell you. I’m ready for it to end. How about you? Enjoy Friday.
Colleen said on October 1, 2026 at 5:59 pm
I’ve never understood the whole “protect my property” thing that’s the rallying cry of the ammosexuals. I live in a pretty average McNeighborhood,and I just shake my head at how many neighbors are packing. You’d think we are subject to marauding groups of bandits the way they talk….
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Jeff Borden said on October 1, 2026 at 6:24 pm
I have been arguing John Roberts is the worst chief justice since Roger Taney, who authored the decision on the Fugitive Slave Act that meant even formerly enslaved people who had made it to safety were still criminals who needed to be returned to their owners. Roberts has been working to undermine and eliminate the Voting Rights Act since he joined the DOJ while St. Ronald of Reagan was in office. His bland mayonnaise face hides a hard core zealot. That said, the blank check he and that thoroughly corrupt court have handed tRump is staggering. It’s likely the “shadow docket” decisions that have wrought such damage on our poor country will be his great legacy, particularly those that are throwing the midterms into chaos. It’s high time for the hammer to start coming down on these assholes in black robes, especially Alito and Thomas, who reek of corruption, but also Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Comey Barrett, who lied during their Congressional hearings about Roe v. Wade. So, yeah, little Johnny can kiss my ass. Sell your pad in Maine and relocate to Palm Beach. You’ll be right at home, asshole.
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MarkH said on October 1, 2026 at 7:27 pm
Regarding other recent news, this just in: Never mind…
https://cowboystatedaily.com/2026/10/01/mlb-drops-plan-for-baseball-in-grand-teton-national-park-after-public-backlash/
Whew. As this crisis happened to unfold in my back yard I can bear witness to the combination of laughter and panic. Guess my plans for vrbo room rental income is kaput.
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David C said on October 2, 2026 at 5:38 am
Every time the guys at work went to the shootin’ range to build the team, they were dumbfounded that I didn’t own a single gun. “How do you protect yourself”. What I’m doing, which is nothing, seems to be working.
Torture enthusiast John Yoo thinks we need more painful exectuion methods. We live in a sick country.
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Deborah said on October 2, 2026 at 7:30 am
My ex was like that, he was paranoid about someone stealing his/our stuff, as if we ever had anything anyone would want. I suppose there are people out there who steal just to see if they can get away with it, but I always thought it was so weird to be so full of anxiety over that happening. Maybe it’s basic mistrust that starts in infancy when your parents don’t protect you or make you feel safe.
My ex didn’t have guns back when I lived with him, but if I had to guess I’d say he has them now. He had a BB gun that he used to kill squirrels with in our backyard though, then he’d put them in plastic bags in the freezer while he used to keep a running tab on on the squirrel count for our phone message. So embarrassing. I have no idea where those frozen squirrel carcasses ended up.
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Kristen said on October 2, 2026 at 10:24 am
Has anyone ever looked at comment threads on Facebook pages dedicated to gun safety (e.g. Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, Everytown for Gun Safety)? I know the commenters likely skew toward the extremist end of the gun-lovin’ continuum, but all I can say after reading through a number of them is that there exists an extremely snarky and nasty group of men (mostly, with the occasional woman) in ‘Murica who honestly seem to have some kind of mental illness when it comes to guns.
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alex said on October 2, 2026 at 2:57 pm
Just like a little kid who discovers a cigarette lighter for the first time, people who have guns have a hard time resisting the temptation to use them. It’s why I won’t have one in my house.
I’m not sure what feeds this paranoia that would compel people to own one gun, much less nine. Having a gun around only increases the odds of it being misused and harming you or your loved ones or someone else. Better to have none at all.
There. Rant over.
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Suzanne said on October 2, 2026 at 6:04 pm
I have a number of relatives who have a whole bunch of guns. One cousin has a huge gun safe in the bedroom (would cause me to lose sleep!) and my brother has god-only-knows how many guns. He often carries a concealed weapon to church because nothing says “I trust God” like bringing a loaded firearm to a worship service in a low crime area. As I have stated here before, almost every gun lover I know believes without any doubt that in a crisis, they would be able to access the weapon, calmly aim, shoot, and save the day easily and competently. On the other hand, I know a state trooper who is a firm believer that in a shooting event, most civilians will panic and cause more harm. Gee, it’s like maybe he knows something.
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Heather said on October 2, 2026 at 8:22 pm
And yet those of us who don’t feel the need to go to the grocery store armed to the teeth are the snowflakes.
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Mark P said on October 3, 2026 at 10:40 am
I have several pistols and rifles, but I haven’t shot any of them in at least 10 years. I have never hunted or carried one. My affinity comes from my childhood, when my father regularly took me and my brother out into the woods where he ran around as a boy. We usually took our little single-shot .22 rifles and plinked, as it’s called. I have fond memories of those days. The only one of my firearms that I really care about is my Marlin Golden 39A, a .22 lever action, which is reputed to be the longest continuously-produced rifle in the world. It was a Christmas present when I was old enough that my father thought I could handle more than the single-shot rifle my brother and I had used. I wouldn’t miss the rest of them, and, honestly, I haven’t even looked at the Marlin in years.
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Julie Robinson said on October 3, 2026 at 1:29 pm
After thinking about guns for a couple of days, I can’t get past their purpose: to cause harm. Is there another? I understand that subsistence hunting can be necessary, and relieving farm animals from fatal injuries is why my grandpa had one. Beyond that, I just can’t think of a good reason to own a gun, and everything about their use/abuse and culture scares the shit out of me.
Yesterday my new floatie came and I could jog in the pool without using my broken shoulder. ‘Twas sweet.
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Mark P said on October 3, 2026 at 3:45 pm
Julie, target shooting is a harmless pastime. Lots of people find it enjoyable.
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Brandon said on October 3, 2026 at 4:02 pm
Speaking of guns. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/03/world/americas/high-school-arms-dealing-mexican-cartels.html?unlocked_article_code=1.F1E.2R8E.wIjTN9scUOaH&smid=url-share
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Icarus said on October 5, 2026 at 8:23 am
I don’t own any firearms, but in the 90s I had an FOID card. My buddy and I would go to the target range and rent guns (I think he had his own as well, but this was an opportunity to try a different pew-pew each time). Didn’t do it very often because my entry-level job didn’t pay well enough, and I did need to eat.
I understand a gun for subsistence hunting and even for home defense. But no one needs to be “steps away from” a loaded gun in their home, nor do you need to have 3 firearms on your person.
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Jeff Gill said on October 5, 2026 at 11:17 am
I thought Roberts was from LaPorte, Indiana, which ain’t no beach town. Not by a long shot. (Target or otherwise.) But thanks to our hostess, I just learned he grew up in Long Beach, which is in LaPorte County, and attended a Catholic school through high school just within LaPorte’s north side.
Roberts would have graduated a couple years earlier, but at Scout camp I recall the Long Beach troop being the best equipped, most fully uniformed troop we saw all summer across our six weeks of operations. Don’t know much else about it, but it had/has to be fairly well-to-do, wedged in between industrial Michigan City and the border with New Buffalo, Michigan. Tinker’s Dam restaurant was at the entrance to Long Beach; I took my senior prom date to dinner there in 1978, it burned down shortly afterwards (no connection, I swear).
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