Apparently “Sinners,” released around late spring, was one of the big summer movies, only prestigious, y’know. So I decided not to read anything about it, and try to have one of those rare experiences, wherein we can take in a work of art without knowing anything, or much, about it.
I knew it starred Michael B. Jordan, and there were vampires. That’s it.
So I averted my eyes from the headlines that speculated it might be an Oscar contender, although that made me want to watch it more. An Oscar-worthy vampire movie? Count me in. It finally came to HBO a couple weeks ago; Friday was the night to watch.
And, sadly, I was disappointed. It wasn’t that great. Points for locating the vampire plot in a new location (a ’30s juke joint in rural Mississippi). Points for some great music within. But the rest? Meh.
Jordan plays two characters, it turns out: Identical twins. There’s no story reason for making them twins, they could just as easily have been non-twin brothers with a second actor, but oh well. There’s a couple-three references to cunnilingus that suggests the brothers were masters of the art, but again, it didn’t really pertain to the story. I had high hopes the vampire clan, who started out all white, might thematically suggest what white people did to black music of the Mississippi Delta, but he didn’t really explore it. There’s a tacked-on KKK mini-plot that seemed to exist so the audience could get the thrill of watching a while klavern mowed down with a machine gun.
I’m not much for horror, but vampires are at least interesting monsters. These vampires…were not.
In a summer of brutal weather, starvation in Gaza and a full-on assault on American democracy, this doesn’t count as a tragedy. Just a disappointment. But it’s always good to see cunnilingus get a free public service announcement, I guess.
And the brutal weather continued. It’s about 90 as I write this, and will stay that way for two more days.
Also: A man randomly attacked 11 people with a knife in a Traverse City Walmart, which then exposed idiots who cannot use a map and understand that the northern Michigan resort city is not Dearborn, and a suspect by the name of Bradford James Gille is unlikely to be Muslim. In fact, he sounds like one of the many, many mentally ill souls in this country, having self-published a book about his revelation that he is, in fact, Jesus Christ. He hails from Afton, a dot on the map and still a bit of a drive to TC, about 90 miles to be exact.
Good thing the president just signed an E.O. requiring homeless people to be involuntarily committed to the scores of nearly empty mental hospitals that exist throughout this great land, just waiting to be filled. Mr. Gille will be right at home there.
Brandon said on July 27, 2025 at 8:34 pm
There’s no story reason for making them twins, they could just as easily have been non-twin brothers with a second actor
Michael B. Jordan probably took on the dual role to demonstrate his acting ability.
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Heather said on July 27, 2025 at 9:03 pm
I liked Sinners, although the last third did turn into pretty standard horror-movie fare. What I would like to see next is a movie about the Native American vampire hunters.
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Suzanne said on July 27, 2025 at 9:49 pm
I don’t have any interest in watching a horror movie; reading the newspaper gives me horror enough.
Also, RIP Tom Lehrer.
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alex said on July 27, 2025 at 11:09 pm
But it’s always good to see cunnilingus get a free public service announcement, I guess.
This site is still the best for a good knee-slapper. That was exactly what I needed given my current mood.
We had a great weekend hosting out-of-town company. But today we went to measure our rental house for carpeting. Our tenant of 11 years is vacating in a few days for a new job out of town, and we have to get it ready for people who want to move in right away.
So we were astonished and a bit perplexed to see that there was painting going on over there, and not in a good way. A horrid color in a semi-gloss finish going onto bedroom walls. So we texted her and asked her to stop. It’s going to take a lot of stain-killing primer to erase that mess and put on a new coat of something attractive. She texted back that, oh no, she was going to patch and paint everything and leave the house spotless because she expects her security deposit back.
I didn’t slam her bad taste in paint, but instead I ticked off a litany of things that burned up her security deposit a long time ago. We paid her utilities when she first moved in and she never paid us back despite all kinds of promises. We ended up having to hire a property management company in order to collect the rent which she was not so good at paying and it cut into our profits. When they filed evictions on her every so often, we had to pay the court costs which we never asked her to pay back, $500 a pop. When she said she was taking in a dog for a few days and it ended up being a few years, and the dog was left alone to piss and shit all over the carpets, she decided unilaterally to tear out the carpets and throw them in the yard. We had to pay the garbage dump to accept them and we decided to let her live with the consequences of her actions. Then we felt sorry for her because the bare floors stank and looked atrocious, and she was ashamed to have company over, so we recarpeted her living room but still left the bedrooms bare. And now she has the audacity to demand her security deposit back and act like a Karen when we answered “You’ve got to be fucking kidding, right?”
We have been nothing but nice to her. Took pity on her when she was down and out and let her have some dignity. And the thanks we get is not just ingratitude but an attitude of entitlement and hostility. I’d be half tempted to drag her ass onto Judge Judy. It’s true, no good deed goes unpunished. No more Mister Nice Guy when it comes to this part of our business. We’re going to be completely dispassionate. I’ve been upfront with the new tenants already. “Stiff us once and we’re hiring a property management company, and believe me you’d much rather deal with us.”
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This is a lady who’s all about maintaining appearances while she robs Peter to pay Paul, so this isn’t a shocking revelation. I just hoped it would end on a better note.
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