Fitness fun.

During the class break last night, a young woman reported that she’d run in the Chicago marathon over the study break. She finished in a respectable time and now wants to try for Boston. “But I need to lose 20 pounds first,” she said, taking a drag on a cigarette. (Yes, really.) “And give these up.”

Hell, the fact she was able to finish a marathon in the four-hour range with 20 extra pounds and a party-butt habit is already pretty damn impressive, if you ask me.

Anyway, someone asked if anything interesting had happened during the race. “Some woman shit herself,” she said. “And she kept running! That’s amazing, and pretty dangerous.”

Actually, I think I’ve read that diarrhea during marathons is pretty common; certainly it is in ultra-marathon and Ironman-style races, if the brown backsides you see on ESPN are any indication. It only confirms my belief that running is insane, or at least: Not for me. (I’ve always said I’d take up running when they come up with a sports bra with hydraulics.) A few years ago the Washington Post ran an interesting piece advancing the Marine Corps marathon, where they asked experienced runners to talk about their most memorable experiences in the sport.

Good lord, but if I hadn’t been put off before, that certainly sealed the deal — bleeding nipples, hypothermia, leg cramps that register on the Richter scale and my favorite, attacking ravens (this in a marathon in Antarctica, for those whose goal is to run 26.2 miles on every continent).

Later, one of my classmates asked, “How much money would it take to get you to run a marathon?” Not for sale at any price, I told him. “Ten thousand? How about $10,000?” he asked. No. Finally he upped it to $100,000. Put the cash in escrow and I’ll think about it.

Posted at 1:08 pm in Uncategorized |

7 responses to “Fitness fun.”

  1. michael golden said on October 16, 2003 at 1:39 pm

    Yeah, I’ve heard all kinds of horror stories about the consequenses of over doing running. It strikes me as a stupid thing to do but people are always taking things to extremes. Your friend said “run a marathon”. Was there anything about finishing the marathon?

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  2. alex said on October 16, 2003 at 1:44 pm

    Must be some truth to that stuff about “runner’s high.” You’d have to be fucked up outta your mind to go out in public with a spewin’ booty.

    But shit, Nance, for a hundred grand I’d go run a marathon right now�without even training for it! I’d even pee and crap myself if those were the conditions of receiving the prize.

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  3. michael golden said on October 16, 2003 at 1:46 pm

    What’s this “1:39 PM” stuff? Did I somehow miss something (along with lunch)? You’d think I’d notice missing lunch. My watch says that it’s only 10:40 something. Is this another example of the liberal East Coast bias? Is the Trilateral Commission behind this snubbing of inferior time zones? Why not use Zulu (GMT) as nature intended?

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  4. Mindy said on October 16, 2003 at 2:30 pm

    “Runner’s high” must refer to that lightheaded feeling one has in the seconds prior to passing out. What else could it possibly be?

    I know a man who applied to run in the Boston Marathon for several years before finally being chosen last year. He’s in fabulous physical condition but wasn’t taken seriously by the powers that be since he has a day job. He was overjoyed to be a member of the thundering herds.

    No marathons for me, thanks, even though “runner’s high” would be a great way to defeat my “knitter’s can.”

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  5. danno said on October 16, 2003 at 5:46 pm

    They better think of calling it something besides the runner’s high, the government might deem it illegal just like all the other highs out there!!

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  6. KCK said on October 16, 2003 at 6:52 pm

    The first guy that ran it died at the end. Plus when you run your beer sloshes around and gets all foamy.

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  7. michael golden said on October 17, 2003 at 8:40 am

    Yeah, but as he died he invented Nikes.

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