“I am a liberal.”

If you have QuickTime, this is funny.

If you just have spare time, this is interesting. Thanks, Ashley.

Posted at 2:23 pm in Uncategorized |
 

21 responses to ““I am a liberal.””

  1. Juan said on November 10, 2004 at 3:50 pm

    Repeat after me, Ashley; “I am not the demographic center of the universe. I am not the demographic center of the universe.”

    Keep saying it over and over.

    There are eleven more steps to go after this, but work on Step #1 for a while. It’s a tough one.

    The popular vote totals blow your Adobe PhotoShop filter “overweighted electoral college” theory to heck.

    Your candidate lost.

    Your values were rejected.

    Your hate belongs exclusively to you.

    In the parlance of your fellow idealouges: “Move On.”

  2. Danny said on November 10, 2004 at 4:10 pm

    Ashley, looks like your imagination is “massively large” too, as well as your sense of denial.

  3. Nance said on November 10, 2004 at 4:30 pm

    Y’all stop hating on my man Ashley. We like Ashley. His values are fine. He likes a) Warren Zevon; b) good food and wine; c) New Orleans. On this, we can all agree. Now stop.

  4. Danny said on November 10, 2004 at 5:52 pm

    I see your point, Nance. Other then telling me to “go [blank] myself” and tellin us all about the size of his member, he’s a pretty cool guy. 😉

  5. ashley said on November 10, 2004 at 6:02 pm

    Funny how both Danny and Juan are the ones that publicly besmirched my masculinity on this blog, both of them calling me a “gal” or a “woman”.

    Evidently their moral values don’t extend to the idea that Ashley could be a male name. Hey, it ain’t my fault mommy liked “Gone With the Wind” a bit too much. At least I ain’t “Rhett”.

    I know I’m not the demographic center. I’m far, far to the left…but then, that is a conscious choice I have made over the last few years, primarily caused by a) extensive international travel, b) marrying a European, c) reading a lot.

    Sorry that I don’t want my children to be saddled with a massive debt. Such is life.

    And 51 to 49 percent doesn’t blow anything anywhere.

    I didn’t tell anyone to go F themselves. The Vice President did.

    I just sent a link to the UMichigan page: I did not claim anything one way or another. In my spatial database classes and my research, I extensively cover how to use spatial data to aid in multiple criteria decision making. Mark Monmonier’s “How to lie with maps” is an excellent book showing how data can be manipulated by the data modeler to alter influence. It’s GIS homey, it ain’t Photoshop.

    Don’t be hatin’ da playa…

  6. deb said on November 10, 2004 at 6:34 pm

    don’t despair, ash. you still have fans out here in blogland.

  7. Nance said on November 10, 2004 at 6:54 pm

    Well, I like Ashley because just saying his name makes me feel like Scarlett O’Hara:

    “Ashley, let’s run away! Let’s go to Mexico!”

    “Oh Ashley, Melly can’t have any more children and I could give you–”

    And so on.

  8. ashley said on November 10, 2004 at 7:56 pm

    I need two additions to my wardrobe, so that I can live up to my name.

    The first would be a blue & white seersucker suit. White shoes and belt (from the “Herb Tarlek” collection), and a nice white straw fedora.

    The second would be something like a Colonel Sanders getup. Gotta love that tie.

    The son of a friend attended a sorority’s formal social last year. They had a choice, and could either wear a tuxedo/tails or a confederate officer’s uniform. This was, of course, in Mississippi. Jeanne needs a shooter.

    It ain’t that pretty at all…especially with Tara burning down.

  9. deb said on November 10, 2004 at 8:36 pm

    ashley, you truly are a kindred spirit. the last time i made a reference to a herb tarlek suit, nobody knew what the hell i was talking about.

    “as god is my witness, i thought turkeys could fly!”

    i always wanted a boyfriend — or at least a partying buddy — like johnny fever. and a body like bailey quarters’.

  10. brian said on November 10, 2004 at 8:37 pm

    >>They had a choice, and could either wear a tuxedo/tails or a confederate officer’s uniform.

    I believe I’d have worn a blue tunic with the letters “US” on the buttons…and if they gave me a hard time, claim that I was ‘Pete’ Longstreet, circa 1868. Do you know he lead federal troops against insurrectionists in New Orleans a few years after the end of the war? It was not just a riot, but instead a pitched battle, including artillery(!!) – and ol’ Pete lost it – although the ex-confederates decided not to kill him.

    I confess that the first time I read a comment by Ashley hereabouts, I assumed that the individual was female…but the consistently aggressive tone made me think that indeed the person could be male (kinda like the old “Pat” skits on SNL) – so it wasn’t a big surprise to learn the terrible truth!

    Anyway, if Ms Telling Tales likes Ash – then that settles it for me!

  11. ashley said on November 10, 2004 at 8:57 pm

    Aggressive? Moi? ;^)

    “as god is my witness, i thought turkeys could fly!” — one of the greatest lines ever, from one of the greatest shows ever (within the confines of a broadcast network), from what had to be the greatest thanksgiving episode of any show ever.

    “i always wanted a boyfriend — or at least a partying buddy — like johnny fever. and a body like bailey quarters’.”

    To me, the whole “Ginger/Mary Ann” test is bogus, as Ginger is a redhead. If one is wont for testarossas, the whole test is skewed (read: if Ginger is a blonde, I’m going for Mary Ann…hell, I’m going for Mary Ann anyway).

    The much more revealing test was Jennifer/Bailey. If anyone picks the bleach blonde, then my trust level drops a few notches.

    Ferinstance, tell me what James Brolin is thinking, marrying Babs? Is this supposed to be a step up from our beloved Jan?

    I saw her in a supermarket in SoCal once. I was too starstruck to say anything. Oh Bailey, Bailey, Bailey.

    Trivia: my nickname for my youngest daughter, Annabel Lee, is the same word that got Johnny Fever fired from the job he had before WKRP.

    Any guesses?

  12. deb said on November 10, 2004 at 9:42 pm

    booger.

  13. ashley said on November 10, 2004 at 10:03 pm

    Deb, you have just won your very own coveted Silver Sow award!

  14. deb said on November 10, 2004 at 10:45 pm

    why, thank you. here’s a tough one: where did gary sandy go to college? (he used to wear t-shirts for this school on the show.) the t-shirts were always a size too small, paired with really, REALLY tight blue jeans. too bad that look is outre these days. i’d much rather see a guy in a tight pair of levis than baggy board shorts with three inches of boxers showing at the top.

  15. ashley said on November 11, 2004 at 3:11 am

    I don’t know why, but I was going to say Arizona…but I guess that’s where his last gig was before coming to Cinti. I cheated, and looked him up on IMDB.

    Wilmington. Go figure.

    Last I heard about Gary Sandy, he was in Bob Crane dinner theatre hell.

    So who wore tighter jeans, Bailey or Andy? Probably Andy…

  16. Nance said on November 11, 2004 at 3:57 am

    Gary Sandy walked through our newsroom in Columbus once, and even though he was already past me by the time he did, I recognized him by a) his butt in tight jeans; and b) his hair, his hair, his fabulous, fabulous hair.

  17. deb said on November 11, 2004 at 12:57 pm

    andy had the tighter jeans, absolutely — almost tight enough to tell whether he was circumcised or not. (a great line, but it’s not mine, alas — nancy wrote that years ago in a story about guys in a metal band called the godz.)

    and: gary sandy went to wilmington college. class dismissed.

  18. Mary said on November 11, 2004 at 2:22 pm

    My ex husband went out with a woman who previously dated Gary Sandy. It may have been while we were married.

  19. deb said on November 11, 2004 at 2:41 pm

    AND….? details, details! did he let her mess up his hair?

  20. juan said on November 12, 2004 at 11:06 am

    1. Don’t call me a “guy.” I am a woman named “Juan.” What kind of sexist, judgmental, transgender hating monsters are you???

    (Okay, maybe not, but you get the point I’m trying to make.)

    2. I don’t hate Ashley. I don’t know Ashley, and if he likes Warren Zevon, he certainly can’t be all bad.

    3. When Ashley spews hate flames like a faulty Morton Thiacoll solid fuel booster, then Ashley can defend his own words and ideals. That link was excerpted from a much more vitriolic rant from last week. You know that, Ms. Nancy.

    If this is an exchange of reasoned ideas, then it would follow that one would self-censor any indefensible nonsense before hitting the Post button.

    If it’s a sheltered soapbox, perhaps I’m the one in the wrong place.

  21. Cal said on November 14, 2004 at 12:22 pm

    Given the red/blue divide, found this interesting comment on another blog:

    Economist F.A. Hayek believed that intellectuals were almost always socialists because intellectuals overestimated the ability of human intelligence to plan and order human society. This also goes a long way toward explaining the Kerry vote. Intellectuals tend to over-value intelligence and to under-estimate the importance of virtue.

    Because of their gifts (which often includes wealth), intellectuals are somewhat insulated from the temporal consequences of immorality, whereas those of average intelligence and wealth are more likely to suffer because of it. Hence, the importance of “moral values” to those voters who were most likely to be devastated by the culture of the Blue People.