In her semi-retirement, my sister has become an eBay entrepreneur. Her specialty is American glass, and a career in sales has served her well, not that you need a career in sales to figure out what works on eBay; a normal measure of common sense will do. Good photos with multiple views, clear descriptions, frank admission of flaws, decent customer service — is this so hard?
Here’s one of her current listings. It’s pretty typical.
So yesterday, I had the bright idea to do at least some of my furniture shopping via eBay, using the advanced-search option that lets you look in your geographical neighborhood. I found a couple of items for sale across the river, in Windsor. But, shall we say, I got bogged down in the description. Sentence after sentence of eBay boilerplate, ALL CAPS, OF COURSE, and then this swerve onto the detour to Crazytown:
USE THE BUY IT NOW BEFORE THERE IS A BID CAUSE THERE’S NO RESERVE!!!! ONLY ONE CHANCE FOR INSTANT PURCHASE!!! DON’T LET THIS ONE RUN AWAY!!! GO�LOOK AT THIS ONE!!!�PLEASE��BACK UP JESUS’S�VALUES , NOT OUR�HUMAN��ONES!!!! THE TIME IS�COMING FOR HIS RETURN, IF WE�BELIEVE�IT OR NOT!!! ALLOW�JESUS TO BE OUR�SAVIOUR TODAY�WHILE WE HAVE A CHANCE!!!�PLEASE ALLOW YOURSELF TO UNDERSTAND!!! GOD BLESS EVERYONE!!!
Then back onto the main highway — PUT ME ON YOUR�FAVORITES CAUSE IN THE NEXT 2 YEARS I’M GOING TO BE LISTING ITEMS THAT I’VE COLLECTED OVER 40 YEARS INCLUDING AN ENTIRE STORE STOCK FROM 1920’S TO 1953 EVERY WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY AND SUNDAYS — and then, screeeech, back to Crazytown: PLEASE PLEASE AND�PLEASE GO AND SEE MEL GIBSON’S� MOVIE ABOUT JESUS AND�ASK AS MANY OF YOUR�FAMILY (EVEN YOUR YOUNG CHILDREN TO�WATCH IT WITH YOU. REGULAR TV IS SO HORRIBLE LET ALONE THE�SECULAR MOVIES BEING�MADE AND WE LET OUR CHILDREN�WATCH THAT JUNK. THESE PEOPLE AND THE�MEDIA’S�ARE SAYING LIES�ABOUT�THIS MOVIE. DON’T LISTEN TO THE�SAME PEOPLE THAT’S SAYING (PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION AND ABORTION IS OK. FIND OUT�WHAT PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION �IS PLEASE) AND FRIENDS AS YOU CAN!!! IF YOU DO YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT WILL WILL WILL HAPPEN!!!�MAY JESUS CHRIST ALWAYS BE WITH YOU!!! JUST ASK HIM TO BE�YOUR SAVIOUR TODAY.
I don’t need to tell you the text changes color a few times along the way, do I?
Well, happy bidding.
In finding my way around the new neighborhood last week, I discovered the very strange border between Grosse Pointe Park and the city of Detroit. I was looking for what remained of the Lakeside Trailer Court, seen here on the Fabulous Ruins of Detroit website, about which I can’t say enough good things. (Click on the other web tours at the bottom of the page.) People say the border between GPP and the D is “stark” and “dramatic,” and oh yes, it’s those things. You can sit at a traffic light on Alter Road and look to your left at urban squalor, and to your right at…suburbia. Odd.
Anyway, being such a newcomer, I have no idea what to make of this urban-renewal effort, but hey — luck be with you.