Best picture.

Take that, Michael Medved, you tiny little man.

UPDATE: Well, the clothes were just fabulous. I read this Slate essay arguing otherwise, and I see her point, but I can’t say I miss the days of Cher in a feather explosion, either. Joan and Melissa Rivers may be plagues upon the land, but when Charlize Theron came out in that blue confection, my heart fluttered. Great fashion is great art, and I’d rather my jaw drop for all the right reasons.

That said, does Hilary Swank have an ass crack? I guess only the back of her chair knows for sure.

Just because everyone’s dressing tastefully, it doesn’t mean there isn’t still fodder for pre-game hooting. Hollywood will be giving us plastic surgery victims for some time yet. And I guess we’ll always have Star Jones.

Also, poor Marty, passed over again. Well. I think, if he wants to win, he needs to stop showing up. If all those acceptance speeches from other “Aviator” winners weren’t enough to shame his colleagues into giving him a statue, nothing will. As a refugee from perhaps the only business more fond of award-giving — journalism — all I can say is this: It don’t mean nothin’. Marty’s the best, always will be, end of story.

Posted at 11:40 pm in Uncategorized |

16 responses to “Best picture.”

  1. Michael G said on February 28, 2005 at 9:10 am

    This was the worst Oscar presentation I have ever seen bar none. Chris Rock was beyond awful. His monologue was screechy and a very long, painful distance from funny. He looked especially bad after Robin Williams showed how it was done with his presentation not to mention suffering poorly from comparison with the Johnnie Carson clips. Calling John Travolta “Oprah’s favorite white boy” was mortifying. Can you imagine Jay Leno introducing Al Roker as Katie Couric’s favorite black boy? How come some people can get away with stupid racist comments? Doing presentations from someplace back in the house was a rotten idea as was lining up nominees on the stage as if for a firing squad. Then there were no close ups of them as their names were called. Many of those nominees are not household names and close ups would have been nice for their families (for video tapes) and for viewers in general. The set was huge and garish, taking up an enormous amount of space without offering any function. All in all a horrible production. The last few awardees, Swank, Fox and Eastwood went a long way toward saving the unsaveable. Start the search for next year’s host TODAY.

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  2. Nance said on February 28, 2005 at 9:31 am

    Yeah, Chris was pretty lame, although I thought Sean Penn’s calling attention to it was lamer.

    That said, I just read this, about network censors shutting down a parody song to be performed by Robin Williams. You know, maybe this Moral Values Uber Alles is just the prelude to another burst of creative energy in whatever passes for an underground these days. I mean, Williams is no dummy, but this is pretty obvious:

    Mr. Williams, interviewed at the Independent Spirit Awards on Saturday, said he was disappointed. “For a while you get mad, then you get over it,” he said. “They’re afraid of saying Olive Oyl is anorexic. It tells you about the state of humor. It’s strange to think: how afraid are you?” He added: “We thought that they got the irony of it. I guess not.”

    Yeah, I guess not.

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  3. Danny said on February 28, 2005 at 10:08 am

    Sooo, “Million Dollar Bay,” is it? OK, I have not seen it, but not knowing what I am talking about has never stopped me before. Just ask Mrs. Smith. Here are my quick takes on why I cannot believe this movie would be best picture.

    1) The twenty second clip shows Clint looking and acting very much like Burgess Meredith’s Mickey in Rocky. Rocky was a great movie. Looks like that part of the peformance was a blatant rip-off.

    2) Swank’s southern accent sounded awful to me. Almost as bad as when Costner tries to do accents. I come from a long line of hillbillies and it was painful to hear her.

    3) A female boxer who looks very much like a supermodel?!? Yeah, I’d have to say that that idea really suspends my disbelief. Maybe the movie would have been more approriately titled, “Million Dollar Monkies Fly Outta My Butt.”

    In contrast, “Passion of the Christ” was roundly panned, and unreasonably so. Admittedly, the movie was flawed in the degree of violence it showed (Mel, what were you thinking?), but it was more than worthy of a nomination for best picture and best actor. Not that it should have won either of those two categories, but it should have been nominated. Period. Exclamation Point. And it was utterly ridiculous that the Academy could not even bring its collective, sorry self to throw Passion a bone or two in the minor awards categories where it was nominated. I think that Oscar is the tiny, lttle man here. Not Medved.

    And Rock sucked. A thousand Gap employess dying and bleeding all over the khakis? Indeed. What a loser.

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  4. mary said on February 28, 2005 at 12:38 pm

    Marty got to get his Oscar someday. So many of my favorite movies were made by Scorcese, and they seem to get better with time.

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  5. 4dbirds said on February 28, 2005 at 1:07 pm

    I’m not commenting on her wedding, husband or personality, but I didn’t see anything wrong with the picture of Star Jones. Yes she’s fat, but she’s cute and the dress is pretty. Okay taking a second look, she does have too many accessories. Lose the bracelet and hair thingie. Either or with the necklace/drop earrings. The dress is still pretty.

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  6. John said on February 28, 2005 at 2:22 pm

    4d is right..with shorter earrings and smaller/no bracelet, then she would pass muster. She is not an unattractive woman. Maybe not the best looking on “The View”, but still has it going on.

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  7. mary said on February 28, 2005 at 4:05 pm


    You watch “The View?” Why?

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  8. Nance said on February 28, 2005 at 5:42 pm

    I dunno about Star. I heard that dress called “boobs on the half shell” today, and it seemed to fit. Plus, WHO IS SHE? One-fourth, or is it one-fifth, of a crappy daytime talk show? She thinks she’s Oprah, and sorry, she’s no Oprah.

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  9. sammyjo said on February 28, 2005 at 6:08 pm

    I am in mourning for the days when I curled up with a good wine, some snacks and did my own fashion commentary. Ah, now I have a life. But what is up with Melanie and that cane?

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  10. Carmella said on February 28, 2005 at 7:25 pm

    Next year lets all get together at Nancy’s new place for an Oscar party!! It will be FUN!!! I liked this year’s show. I thought Chris Rock did an ok job, better than Whoopie or (hate to say it about my man) David Letterman! Billy Crystal and Steve Martin are the best. Don’t forget…pencil it in…next year at Nance’s.

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  11. RJ said on February 28, 2005 at 7:39 pm

    Gidget over Gonzo? Kathy makes an excellent case here.

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  12. ashley said on February 28, 2005 at 8:44 pm

    My opinion of Chris Rock’s performance is echoed by Tim Robbins.

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  13. John said on March 1, 2005 at 8:09 am


    i have caught enough of The View on Talk Soup to know what the deal is, but i’m not a regular viewer.

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  14. Nance said on March 1, 2005 at 8:59 am

    RJ, what “excellent” case? And a case for what, exactly? Comparing a ’50s actress with a ’60s journalist, whose single shared detail in common was their death on the same day? Huh? I read the usual Lileks-inspired straw-man intro, a sort of messy blur of snarkosity, culminating in the contention — who could have seen this coming, from a blog called “relapsed Catholic”?!? — that suicide is cowardly.

    Thanks for that affirmation.

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  15. mary said on March 1, 2005 at 12:23 pm


    The View is crappy, as Nance said. I can’t put my finger on exactly what is so annoying about it, but it does manage to be something just short of mediocre every time I give it a chance. Star Jones does nothing to elevate the quality, and she does seem to think she’s Oprah. Her route to Oprah-hood is the acquisition of expensive stuff, which she shows off. Althogh the “stuff” factor has become a big part of Oprah, it’s not all she is. And she gives stuff away. Star tells everyone about all the stuff she got free.


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  16. harry near indy said on March 1, 2005 at 2:53 pm

    relapsed catholic is aiming to take over maggie gallagher or peggy noonan as #1 woman catholic pundit.

    just practice; she’s working in the minor leagues.

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