People say cynics are blackhearted and miserable, but I gotta tell you, we certainly have more fun. I’ve been chuckling all day over the case of Msgr. Eugene Clark, rector of none other than St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC and a leading right-wing Catholic blowhard, railing on TV about our sex-saturated culture and the insidious liberal homo priests who brought this whole altar-boy scandal down on everyone’s heads. Called “staff chaplain” for the National Review, and blah to the blah to the impeccable conservative orthodox credentials blah.
He is 79 years old, by the way. And the punchline?
The secretary is 46, by the way. In true NYC tabloid fashion, the story already has a name: “Beauty and the Priest.”
At least he has an excuse: The culture made me do it.
It’s a tough town, Detroit, as a trip to the local multiplex will demonstrate. Fort Wayne, however, seems even tougher at the moment. Once I puzzled out this Crocodile Dundee-like story of a parking-lot struggle between a beer thief, a store cashier and the good Samaritan who tried to help her, that is. In my old neighborhood, natch.
Actually, the old hometown a.m. rag was a bouquet of amusement this morning. From the letters to the editor:
I heartily endorse the sentiment expressed so well in several letters to the editor that foreign immigrants to Indiana should assimilate into our culture by adopting our language.
This is perfectly fair. After all, when late 18th and early 19th century emigrants from the newly established United States poured over the Appalachian Mountains, across the Ohio River, and into what would become Indiana, they promptly abandoned English and to a person learned the Algonquian languages of the people who were already here.
Given their example, it is only reasonable for us to expect present-day immigrants who speak Spanish, Burmese, Hindi, Mandarin or whatever to show the same respect for American language and culture that our ancestors did for the languages and customs of the Native Americans among whom they settled.
I’m calling boolsheet on that. “Abandoned English…to a person?” Don’t think so. And just for the writer’s information, in my travels around northeast Indiana I met several people who spoke a different language at home, only it wasn’t Spanish, Burmese, Hindi, Mandarin or whatever — it was Swiss. (That’s not a language, I know, but it’s what some people of Swiss heritage, including the Amish, speak at home. It’s a dialect of German.) And these folks had been in the country for a century, most of them. And yet, amazingly, this is seen as preserving our unique history, not a failure to assimilate. Hmmm, puzzles abound.
In L.A., the other shoe drops in the business deal between American Media and Gov. Conan. Which you knew it would.
We have dinner guests coming this weekend. On the menu: Fish tacos. I’m looking for side-dish ideas. All you Californians, time to step up.
Have a good weekend. I plan to.