And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I, etc.

That picture of Whitney Houston looking like the crack ho she has apparently become is all over the nets these days. Huh. I have sympathy for drug addicts (to a point), so I say get her into rehab and let’s move on. We have other reasons to have Whitney publicly flayed.

I’m speaking of what she’s done to pop singing.

I just watched the last 15 minutes of the “American Idol” debut, where they humiliate all the people who thought they could sing, but of course they can’t. And six out of seven have Whitney Houston’s Disease, where she reaches for the high notes but warbles around getting there, so that when she screeches, o’er the la-a-a-a-and of the free-e-e-eeee-eee-e-eee…….and the ho-o-oo-o-ome of the…buhuhuhhraaaaaav…..uh!

Why does she do that? And why do people think this is the way you should sing?

Is it a drug thing? Must be.

Not much happening today, so here’s a plate of tasty linkage:

John Scalzi tells the story of how he got out of the newspaper business today, and the story was, er, familiar — manhandled by editors who saw him not as a person but as one of those Fisher-Price people-pegs to be plugged into whatever slot they felt like sticking him in, capped by a coup de grace of his own: Three weeks later I got my formal job offer, and called my editors into a meeting in which I told them I was leaving. They asked if there was anything they could do to keep me; I told them that it seemed unlikely. They asked if they could ask what I was going to be making; I told them. They both blinked; it was more than either of them made. It was their first real encounter with the online world, I suspect, and the first realization that major changes were on their way.

That was 10 years ago. John, some of them still don’t know.

Greg Beato on Fat TV.

Coyotes have much to fear from us, but coyote hunters have more to fear from other coyote hunters, still. A cautionary tale.

Posted at 10:21 pm in Popculch, Same ol' same ol' |

16 responses to “And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I, etc.”

  1. Dorothy said on January 18, 2006 at 5:52 am

    Thanks for bestowing that crappy singing style with a name. Now when I hear those singers (and I use the term loosely) doing that, I can say “They have Whitney Houston’s disease!” That affectation is one of the main reasons why I can’t stomach American Idol anymore. I have to admit I did leave the t.v. on last night while I was reading in bed. I laughed my ass off at the faces Paula and Randy were making in reaction to the spectacles they had in front of them. I’ll tune in again once they have the top 12 finalists – maybe.

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  2. Connie said on January 18, 2006 at 6:37 am

    I’m just the opposite Dorothy. I watch the Idol audition shows and laugh uproariously, but can’t stand to watch the shows with the final 12. And the theme music makes me scream. And I don’t like the way any of them style their music. Except for those two sets of twins, both singing great harmony.

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  3. Dorothy said on January 18, 2006 at 6:44 am

    Connie I did not watch any of the finalists last year. I can barely recall who the winner was (Carrie Underwood, right? I heard them say her name last night.) So I’ll probablyl do the same as you – watch the auditions. My daughter and I call each other to compare notes, who made us laugh the hardest.

    Last night the one I was most stunned by had to be the suntan queen and her mother.

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  4. Mindy said on January 18, 2006 at 7:05 am

    Mariah Carey is another vocal gymnast who needs to be publicly flayed as well. Hearing her sing makes my teeth ache as much as hearing Whitney Houston. OK, already, we know that she can sing in a range that only dogs can hear. So why must she do so at every opportunity?

    I once got into a discussion with a co-worker who loved Whitney’s manhandling of the national anthem. She said it sounded “full and rich” and that other vocalists weren’t as interesting to listen to after hearing Whitney. Evidently, lots of people feel the same. Too bad for us and the real vocalists in the world.

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  5. Connie said on January 18, 2006 at 9:13 am

    Suntan queen was something, and when Simon said bring in your mother, we all learned why. They both talked like Valley Girls as well.

    I’ve never cared much for Celine Dion either. And I cracked up at the montage of all the auditioners singing Voulez Vouz/Lady Marmalade. And quite a few of them didn’t have a clue as to the lyrics. And one of them was a man dressed like Dorothy in Oz.

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  6. Danny said on January 18, 2006 at 10:08 am

    I think I said this before, but it bears repeating: “Pariah” Cary has now tied Elvis for number of hit singles. There is something dreadfully wrong about that.

    And my favorite Celine Dion was her recent news conference where she defended the looters taking of big screen televisions after Katrina. She informed us that yes, she had given a milion dollars (not worthy of a widows mite, if you ask me) and that what did it matter if these people took these things. Pehaps they had never touched anything in their lives, so let them touch them! Take a Kayak!

    All delivered in her clipped Canuck accent. Hilarious.

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  7. 4dbirds said on January 18, 2006 at 10:53 am

    There are so many overweight people now that I for one am no longer shocked at seeing the morbidly obese. Just a few weeks ago, I was watching the ‘old’ Yours, Mine and Ours with Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball on TV. The Henry Fonda character has a ‘chubby’ daughter who loves food. I remember watching that movie years ago and thinking she was fat. Now she doesn’t look fat to me at all. I throw no stones, I’ve been thin, normal, overweight and obese at different times in my own life. Currently, I’m in the normal range and hope to stay there.

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  8. mary said on January 18, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    I don’t know if you watched any of “Being Bobby Brown,” on Bravo, but Whitney was often very clearly chemically enhanced AND talking on the cell phone while driving. At least she wasn’t also doing that annoying singing thing at the same time.

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  9. mary said on January 18, 2006 at 4:02 pm

    I clicked on the link to the Whitney photo (grim) and read the article, followed links to more about her, and now I’m wondering, just what is a dookie bubble? I’ve had no luck finding out. Maybe I really don’t want to know.

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  10. mary said on January 18, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Never mind. I found out. TMI, Bobby Brown.

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  11. Dorothy said on January 18, 2006 at 4:16 pm

    LOLOLOLOL @ Mary!

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  12. brian stouder said on January 18, 2006 at 5:09 pm

    Mary, I followed the links, too – one almost wants to believe they have a pic of some other person…Maybe Tina Turner’s crazy aunt or something.

    And, it was a ‘dootie bubble’!

    See, that’s what you have to love about the ‘net. You click a link, and follow another, and by about the third or fourth click – you’ve arrived at either something very neat (rare) or something utterly banal. Kinda like that ‘6 degrees to Kevin Bacon’ thing

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  13. Nance said on January 18, 2006 at 5:48 pm

    That dookie-bubble thing confirms it, if I needed any. That family is smokin’ crack.

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  14. mary said on January 19, 2006 at 1:36 am

    The subtitle says dootie bubble, but one of the websites corrects it to dookie bubble. I strive for accuracy.

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  15. brian stouder said on January 19, 2006 at 8:12 am

    “one of the websites corrects it to dookie bubble.”

    You are correct – no ‘if’s, ‘and’s, or ‘butt’s about it!

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  16. MarkH said on January 19, 2006 at 11:24 am

    I, too, am put off by the incessant vocal acrobatics of many of today’s singers, but I find Whitney one of the least offensive in this department. She is not nearly as bad as Mariah and not even close to the alleged singers in the hip-hop genre. Her current condition has totally put me off for years. I once read a story about Billy Joel coaching his daughter, Alexis, while she was learning to sing. At one point she mangled a long note by starting this warbling stuff, whereupon he stopped, slammed the piano keys and shouted, “Hold the NOTE, goddammit!! Doing it like Mariah is NOT acceptable!!”.

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