Ain’t noise pollution.

Pity the drama of the invisible suburban mom, running errands all alone on a Monday morning. Where is she going? Dry cleaner (husband’s shirts), Blockbuster (return “The Aristocrats” and “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”), Target (she needs sunglasses).

At Target, she selects a pair of sunglasses. Nine ninety-five. The cheaper ones don’t fit, the more expensive ones seem so, oh, extravagant. She’s so practical she disgusts herself.

So she stops in the music section. Buys “Back in Black” on a special CD/DVD double disk. Why? Because. She didn’t buy that record when it was new, because she was into New Wave then and AC/DC produced the anthems of the enemy, preferred by all those mouth-breathing radio program directors who thought the B-52s were for faggots. We were fighting a culture war, dammit! But that Nike commercial reminded me they weren’t totally worthless, so Angus? All is forgiven.

I checked the copyright on the album. 1980. Sweet Jay-zus, that was a long time ago.

Are we back to the first person, then? OK. I was feeling a little like a really bad memoirist, there.

For the record, I liked both those movies. They were both dirty, but very different. The John Roberts Story “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” was the biggest revelation, as I expected it to be half-crap and it was wholly entertaining.

I needed some light entertainment today, to keep me from thinking about rioting religious lunatics freaking over a bunch of cartoons, and the AC/DC to remind me that whenever you rock out, Allah kills a kitten.

Posted at 8:57 pm in Movies, Same ol' same ol' |

34 responses to “Ain’t noise pollution.”

  1. Lance said on February 6, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    “She looks in the mirror and stares at the wrinkles that weren’t there yesterday
    And thinks of the young man she almost married,
    What would he think if he saw her this waaaaaaay?

    “Oh, Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife
    You see everywhere any time of the daaaaaay!
    An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me!”

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  2. Connie said on February 6, 2006 at 10:01 pm

    Um, Lance, I don’t think that’s an AC/DC song.

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  3. Kim said on February 7, 2006 at 8:16 am

    My kids love AC/DC, esp. what they call “Highway to H-word.” To have those lyrics fill the car, tho, is a tad unsettling. I mean, maybe she was a fast machine who kept her motor clean and all, but still.
    The 40-y-o Virgin as the Chief Justice’s story — brilliant!

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  4. Michael G said on February 7, 2006 at 8:49 am

    I thought it was Souter’s story.

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  5. Adrianne said on February 7, 2006 at 9:20 am


    Angus rules! I love “Back in Black”, but my kids would object strenously if I rocked out to it at home. Jack was highly critical of Mick Jagger’s sinuous moves at the Super Bowl halftime show, and his singing. Methinks he was off-key, but who cares?

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  6. brian stouder said on February 7, 2006 at 9:50 am

    “OK. I was feeling a little like a really bad memoirist, there.”

    Hey – bad memoirist writing is THE GO!!

    I thought this part was funny –

    “Knoop, 39, who apologized for playing a role in the hoax, said the stress of keeping it secret had become too much to bear. The couple split in December after 16 years and were trying to work out custody of their young son. “He’s wanted to come clean and let JT fade away,�? attorney Eric Feig said of Knoop late Monday. “He wanted to take the high road.�?

    He’s also secured a movie deal to tell his side of the story, Feig said.”

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  7. Randy said on February 7, 2006 at 9:52 am


    And then at Target, did you spend a portion of time admiring the latest toilet brush designs, and then did you agonize over which all-purpose cleaning product could offer you the best scrubbing action, most esoteric container design, while providing the nostalgic scent of your mom’s eau de toilette back at the old family home in Fargo? And finally, did you buy an educational toy for Gnat?

    Oops, that’s Lileks. Sorry, I didn’t know anybody else shopped at Target.

    Enjoy the cheap sunglasses. I always buy cheap sunglasses, I can’t help myself.

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  8. Danny said on February 7, 2006 at 9:57 am

    I saw AC/DC once. The “For Those About to Rock” tour. Good stuff. I still put them on the mp3 player once in a while (I own B-in-B and a Live CD). It always seemed to me that Bon Scott was to blame for the death of John Bonham. I mean, Scott was the first to suffocate on his own vomit, and it then Bonham got the idea to do it. Either that or it was all Keith Moon’s fault.

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  9. Nance said on February 7, 2006 at 11:11 am

    Why are so many kids conservative Republicans? We went to the Winter Blast Friday night, and in the food tent, one of the bands kicked off with Rick James’ “You and I,” not a bad cover of it either. Kate starts whining that it’s too loud.

    I refrained from replying, “Then you’re too old!”

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  10. basset said on February 7, 2006 at 11:17 am

    if you’re going to get interested in AC/DC at this late date, try Hayseed Dixie too… bluegrass versions of AC/DC and other rock/metal songs, and actually quite good. their latest is mostly Black Sabbath covers.

    you could not make this stuff up.

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  11. brian stouder said on February 7, 2006 at 11:22 am

    “Kate starts whining that it’s too loud.”

    You have obviously succeeded magnificently in ‘raisin’ her right’, I’d say. (Bonus points if she rolls her eyes at the sight of Keith Olbermann, or if she thinks President Bush sorta cool)

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  12. nancy said on February 7, 2006 at 11:30 am

    No dice on that. Back when we got Newsweek, she would point at the cover whenever W. was on it and say, “That’s George Bush. He lies.” Believe it or not, she didn’t get that from us, but from the mother of one of her friends in Ann Arbor.

    I will cop to not correcting her, though.

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  13. nancy said on February 7, 2006 at 11:33 am

    Oh, and back to the Republican thing: At halftime during the Super Bowl, she said she thought the Stones’ logo was “gross.”

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  14. Danny said on February 7, 2006 at 11:36 am

    Actually, Nance, her young ears may be quite sensitive. You may want to listen to her complaint and take her a distance away or bring ear plugs for her to use. Better safe than sorry regarding hearing loss. Ask Pete Townsend.

    Basset, don’t know if you have heard of the “Pick’n on…(insert band name)” series. Bluegrass tributes to many popular bands. There is an AC/DC one that I have not listed to. I have both of the Led Zeppelin CD’s from the series and they are great! All instrumental blue grass sendups.

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  15. Mary O said on February 7, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    A coupla things:

    1. Nancy, I applaud you for only buying cheap sunglasses at Target. I can’t get out of there without spending lots of money. That I don’t have. Your restraint is commendable.

    2. My kids also can’t stand loud music. My husband and I play U2 or Dave Matthews Band loud in the car, and they all start crying (9, 5 and 5 years old!) that it’s too loud. We can’t figure it out.

    3. My oldest also thought the Stones and their logo were gross. She said, and I directly quote because it was so funny I ran to write it down: “Why are you singing so loud, you strange old man?” One of the twins, however, was quite in the moment, happily dancing with me in front of the TV. At least she got it.

    4. My oldest, who was 4 during the 2000 campaign, watched some of the debates and overheard my husband and me saying disparaging things about Mr. Bush. She told all her friends at pre-school the next day that “Bush is icky” — which we heard about from the other parents whose children later parroted that line to them, and some of them were none too pleased. This is the greater Washington, D.C., area, after all. We tend to not make any comments during political debates, speeches or other events around this house anymore.

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  16. brian stouder said on February 7, 2006 at 12:16 pm

    “Back when we got Newsweek, she would point at the cover whenever W. was on it and say, “That’s George Bush. He lies.�?

    See – I can be accused of being unintentionally Roivian –

    I have been disillusioned by W’s somewhat breathtaking combination of gritty power usurpation coupled with an over-arching, all-encompassing incompetence – and the young folks have occasionally heard me muttering… they take his side!

    I therefore look upon W’s admin as a fortuitous (albeit clandestine) teaching opportunity; I sincerely trash the prez every so often, and reinforce the young folks’ pro-Republican resistance to me! I figure we’ll have at least 4 years of a Democratic presidency after ’08, and by then, presto – 2 more rebellious red-staters!

    The odd thing is – my lovely wife, who was pro-Clinton and fiercely pro-Gore back in 2000, absolutely turned 180 degrees after 9/11/01 – and remains a genuine Bushivik to this day! (although she agreed that his admin failed utterly with disaster response in the hurricane season)

    go figure

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  17. mary said on February 7, 2006 at 12:17 pm

    I’m proud to say my 15 year old likes it when I play the Allman Brothers at full volume in the car, open the sunroof, hit the carpool lane, and pass all the singleton losers in their SUVS. Can’t beat Eat a Peach. Younger son likes Earth Wind and Fire and the Chi Lites. He’s 11. If I play loud music in the house it’s Los Lobos, and they both like that. Some Stones songs are appreciated, particularly Can’t You Hear Me Knockin’. Older son is listening to the Beatles White Album a lot these days, and that works for me as well. The new CDs they like are Lewis Taylor, Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah, and The Gourds.

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  18. Dorothy said on February 7, 2006 at 1:24 pm

    The looks I get from the neighbors when I zoom down the street with something LOUD on the car radio or stereo – priceless! I have to admit sometimes I crank it up louder than usual just to get a reaction if someone is outside nearby. Depends on who it is. A few fave tunes I love to blast: Roy Buchanan’s “Can I Change My Mind”; Santana’s “Say It Again”; Ides of March “Vehicle.”

    It is an indescribable feeling to have music on loud with one of my kids in the car, both of us singing at the top of our lungs, or banging on the steering wheel or the roof of the car, when it’s a mutually agreeable song!

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  19. Laura said on February 7, 2006 at 1:50 pm

    Come on, folks. Let’s get current with the music here. Try Gorillaz or Weezer.

    Though I must say, Los Lobos is timeless.

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  20. Mary O said on February 7, 2006 at 2:10 pm

    My 9 year old is into ’80s revival. If I hear Cyndi Lauper or Culture Club one more time…

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  21. brian stouder said on February 7, 2006 at 2:36 pm

    ’80’s –


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  22. Laura said on February 7, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    The Police were no good after (or beginning with) Ghost in the Machine. But the Clash and the Talking Heads, now that’s some good listening! And for all out dancing, it’s tough to beat ABC. That’s the look! That’s the look! I’m even bopping as I’m typing.

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  23. Dorothy said on February 7, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    Good music is timeless.

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  24. brian stouder said on February 7, 2006 at 3:02 pm

    “The Police were no good after (or beginning with) Ghost in the Machine.”

    Agreed –

    Zenyatta Mendatta is my fave Police album (and I have it in vinyl!). Don’t Stand So Close to Me, Canary in a Coal Mine, Shadows in the Rain….and the bane of all Police fans – De Do Da Da (or whatever they call that one!)

    Ghost in the Machine was OK (Every Little Thing is pretty much definitive). After that – it’s all Sting all the time

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  25. Mary O said on February 7, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    I can’t wait to see the new Police documentary that was written about during the Sundance Festival.

    Don’t Stand So Close To Meeeeee… We used to change that to “Don’t Slam Dance Close To Me.” That dates me.

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  26. mary said on February 7, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    Gorillaz and Weezer are good too, and the newest Gorillaz is in my car cd player as we speak. Clap your hands and say yeah owe a lot to Talking Heads. In a good way, though. You have to check out Lewis Taylor Stoned part 1, though. Trust me.

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  27. brian stouder said on February 7, 2006 at 4:43 pm

    “You have to check out Lewis Taylor Stoned part 1, though. Trust me.”

    Well – I once took in a 3-D horror movie while smashed (Canadian Mist in my icy cold Diet Coke) – which made me laugh so hard my ribs ached….!!

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  28. alex said on February 7, 2006 at 6:03 pm

    Kids these days. They only do loud when it’s coming through the earphones on an iPod. As for their politics, they’re only as well informed as the people around them, I suppose, so cut ’em some slack. They’ll one day see how fish sticks and macaroni are comfort food devoid of any nutrition, kind of like what the GOP has been feeding their parents.

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  29. basset said on February 7, 2006 at 8:43 pm

    I sure am familiar with the “Pickin’ On…” series… some good stuff there, and some major bluegrass names on parts of it.

    meanwhile… my 16-year-old is a huge Beatles fan.

    and today, Feb. 7, is the 42nd anniversary of the day the Fabs first came to America.

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  30. Connie said on February 7, 2006 at 10:23 pm

    All this talk of 80s rock makes me feel so old. I’m a 70s classic rock kind of gal.

    My senior daughter had an argument at school the other day with a guy she’s been bickering with for years and she was so frustrated she sputtered: “you, you, you Republican!” Learned her politics from her folks.

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  31. Kim said on February 7, 2006 at 11:15 pm

    OK, so after school today my second-grader chooses Australia for his extra credit poster. Under the “customs” heading he writes about Aborigines and AC/DC, both Aussie originals. Two pictures: one of Aborigines, the other of Angus in his schoolboy clothes. Completely his idea and creation, which I saw after it was done. I cannot wait to see this on display in the school hallway. Take that, Republicans!

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  32. basset said on February 8, 2006 at 10:36 am

    coulda been Fosters beer and the Ford 351 block casting …

    ever read “In a Sunburned Country”? travel book about roaming around Australia alone… high point for me was a scene where the writer wanders into a shop in some tiny dried-out town in the middle of nowhere, nobody’s talking to him, nobody will acknowledge him, and he realizes he’s in a combination feed store and porn shop.

    try that in Fort Wayne…

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  33. Joe said on February 8, 2006 at 11:06 am

    Do you know how many slogans there are for vomiting in Australia? Lot’s. Parking the tiger, stepping out back for a bit of a chunder, technicolored yawn, round trip meal ticket and much more. Don’t know why I thought of that. Just popped into my head.
    “Former Rugby player”

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  34. basset said on February 10, 2006 at 12:54 am

    all I know about Australian colloquial terms is that you don’t “root for the home team” because “root” has an entirely different meaning than it does here.

    when the Beatles toured Australia in 1964 (and today, Feb. 9, is the 42nd anniversary of their first “Ed Sullivan Show” appearance), Paul McCartney would routinely give the thumbs-up in public until he was advised that down there it means, basically, put it where the sun don’t shine.


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