When life hands you heroin…

NN.C regular Ashley Morris has been in the midst of some family hell these last few days. You’re comparing it to your family hell, which may range on the scale from My Mother Doesn’t Appreciate Me to My Sister-in-Law Always Drinks Too Much, Then Gets Bitter With Everyone.

Well, Ashley’s family hell sort of extends the scale. His sister/mother died. What’s a sister/mother, you ask? Ask Jack Nicholson. It’s what happens when a teenage girl has a baby, and her mother says, “I’ll raise the boy as my own. We’ll pretend you’re his older sister. Meanwhile, you get your shit together.” I don’t actually know if Ashley’s mother/grandmother said this to her daughter, but she should have, because things didn’t turn out so well for her, and she was found dead in her apartment last week.

So Ashley goes to clean things up, and finds…well, let him tell it:

Turns out my mother/sister OD’d. Spoons and lighters everywhere. About 300-400 syringes all over the floor. Residue of OxyContin in the spoons and on the tables. And a big 2 gram package of heroin on the counter.

I called the cops who found the body, and asked them what to do with the heroin. They said I could bring it in to the station.

Go read the rest. I offered him complicated condolences last week. I’d say complicated isn’t really the word for it.

Posted at 10:37 am in Same ol' same ol' |
 

11 responses to “When life hands you heroin…”

  1. Dorothy said on October 25, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    Oy! My sympathies to Ashley and all the miserable times recently. Maybe things will get better from here on out. Here’s hoping!!

  2. LA mary said on October 25, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    There’s nothing good to say about all this stuff, Ashley. Know you have people who never met you keeping a good thought for you.

  3. Mindy said on October 25, 2007 at 3:23 pm

    What Mary said.
    Sending good thoughts and cyberspace hugs your way, Ashley.

  4. colleen said on October 25, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    I’m very sorry to hear that, Ashley. Again…what Mary said.

  5. Danny said on October 25, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    Ashley, very sorry to hear about all of the crap you’ve been going through. Keep walking, bro.

  6. nancy said on October 25, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    I just liked how he could keep a sense of humor about everything. I mean, how often do you get to call the police and say, “What am I supposed to do with this heroin?”

  7. Danny said on October 25, 2007 at 5:31 pm

    I know. The part where he envisions walking into the police station and announcing “HI, I BROUGHT THE HEROIN.” Classic.

  8. 4dbirds said on October 26, 2007 at 7:06 am

    I’m so sorry. We also love and worry about someone with a serious drug problem. We go for months not hearing a word, then get calls usually asking for money. We live in dread of that phone call telling us the worst.

  9. ashley said on October 28, 2007 at 10:38 am

    Thanks, all, for your thoughts.

  10. Saheli said on October 30, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    My condolences to Ashley. I have to say that by invoking Jack Nicholson you are making an implication that goes beyond merely kind-hearted grand-parental adoption; quite the opposite, you are implying grandfatherly incest. Unless that’s the case, I would change the Jack Nicholson reference.

  11. Saheli said on October 30, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    And while I realize that your link makes it clear, without clicking on the link one immediately thinks of Chinatown, not biographical details. (When Ashley invokes Nicholson, he makes it clear he’s not making a cinematic allusion.)