nancynall.com » Back to your oar, 41.

Back to your oar, 41.

Charl­ton Hes­ton is dead, and all I can do is scroll through the IMDb “quotes” pages from his movies.

Nefre­tiri: Oh, Moses, Moses, why of all men did I fall in love with a prince of fools?

I always thought Heston’s life was self-parody enough, but I’ll leave the obits to oth­ers. Still, could this be true?

In what could have been Heston’s most auda­cious Jew­ish role, the FBI recruited the actor amid the 1993 Waco, Texas, stand­off involv­ing David Koresh and the Branch David­i­ans. Hes­ton was to have played the Voice of God to facil­i­tate nego­ti­a­tions with Koresh, how­ever the plan was never used.

XM should have a sep­a­rate chan­nel called The Government’s Loud­speaker. It would have a short playlist, but a thought-provoking one, con­sist­ing entirely of stuff some law enforce­ment agency thought might get a holed-up des­per­ado to come out with his hands up. The Manuel Nor­iega dance mix, I seem to recall, ran the gamut from extreme heavy metal to “Baby I’m-a Want You.” That would make for some inter­est­ing radio, but no one asked me.

So how was your week­end? I’m start­ing to dread my own. The base­ment drains backed up again, and Alan got two flat tires — one on his car, and one on mine. Since mine is due for four new ones, and his was in a side­wall, that’ll have to be replaced, too. Lately I feel as though I’m clos­ing on a house, at that point where every time you turn around some­one wants a check for $300. Only this week­end will be more like $600.

Oh, well, you know what they say: Pain means you’re still alive.

And even a few hun­dred bucks in un-budgeted expenses couldn’t entirely ruin the first nice week­end of the whole damn year. Gen­tle tem­per­a­tures, sun­shine, the whole works. We dragged our rose­mary bushes out­side to the deck and told them to fend for them­selves, then raked out the detri­tus of win­ter, a basi­cally pleas­ant task, con­sid­er­ing the detri­tus didn’t include any dead birds or any­thing. Filled five lawn-and-leaf bags, then checked the fore­cast — freez­ing tem­per­a­tures expected by next week­end. Well, screw it. Rose­mary has a week to harden up for it, and fore­casts change.

Of course I cel­e­brated with a long bike ride. Rode down to Alter Road to scout loca­tions for my upcom­ing video, imag­i­na­tively working-titled: Alter Road. I want more green before I get going on it, but I also wanted to see if there’s any way I could find a rea­son­ably safe route to the newly opened bike paths of down­town. Google Maps’ street view has some gaps, but what I could see of Freud Street wasn’t good:


View Larger Map

(God. Google Maps street view. Signs and won­ders and more signs, and more wonders.)

So I chick­ened out. For now.

But that made me think, well, maybe I could help com­plete the map, some real ground-level cit­i­zen jour­nal­ism. Send Google some pic­tures taken on key street cor­ners, eh? I asked my genius how I might do that. He replied:

They’re so pre­cisely geolo­cated because a spe­cial vehi­cle with mul­ti­ple cam­eras point­ing in “all” direc­tions moves slowly down a street and they suck up images with super-duper-precise geolo­ca­tion, meta­data aplenty…driven by some cof­fee sip­ping slacker (I’ve seen them in Atlanta.)

I want that job. I want it really, really bad.

OK, some sober blog­gage: Funeral arrange­ments for Ash­ley are com­plete, and can be found here. Pre­dictably, they con­tain a note of humor; mourn­ers are encour­aged to dress either tra­di­tion­ally or in Saints gear, or a com­bi­na­tion of both. Memo­ri­als are to the fam­ily, left with­out a provider. You can Pay­pal ‘em here.

With that, I’ve fid­dled with Google Maps too long. Time to get to work. And wait for the plumber. Again.

18 responses to
“Back to your oar, 41.”

  1. virgotex said on April 7th, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Hes­ton was to have played the Voice of God to facil­i­tate nego­ti­a­tions with Koresh, how­ever the plan was never used.

    as we say in Texas, “only in Waco”

    too bad, it might have worked.

  2. Kirk said on April 7th, 2008 at 11:43 am

    With a name like Freud Street, who knows what you might run into? Or maybe, up there, it’s pro­nounced “Frood.”

  3. Kirk said on April 7th, 2008 at 11:45 am

    I know how to spell “there”; for some rea­son, I can’t edit it.

    Oops, turns out I could edit it after all.

  4. sue said on April 7th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    I use Google Maps Street View to “visit” my chil­dren. I’ll pull up a pic­ture of one or the other’s apart­ment while at work and keep it up so I can see it. Some­how com­fort­ing to this mom. Got you beat for a bad week­end, Nancy. I have a sick cat; just sick enough that he might pull through with­out a lot of nasty inva­sive inter­ven­tion. Still, the vet meter is at $800 and run­ning. And yes, my cat is worth it, so let’s not get into that dis­cus­sion, folks. I don’t shop, col­lect, restore, race, ride or spend my money on any other expen­sive hob­bies. I have pets and pay vet bills.

  5. Danny said on April 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    I can’t call it a “bad week­end” because it was for our next door neigh­bor, a sin­gle mom from Panama with three kids and an out-of-state, dead­beat ex-hubsband. She has trou­ble mak­ing ends meet and we try to fill that gap because we love them and think that God puts peo­ple in our lives for a rea­son. As long as there is breath in me and means at hand, I will not let chil­dren go hun­gry and homeless.

    But like both of you, it was unex­pected and expensive.

  6. Julie Robinson said on April 7th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    Sue – we had cats when I was a kid and no doubt some of those vet bills were high. Mom used to say she didn’t drink, smoke or gam­ble so her indul­gences were pets and buy­ing records. And much plea­sure was had from both!

  7. Kirk said on April 7th, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    Sue, hope the cat’s OK. We picked up our dog at the vet hos­pi­tal Sat­ur­day. He seems to be bounc­ing back from surgery for blad­der stones. Quite expen­sive, but worth it to us.

  8. LAMary said on April 7th, 2008 at 5:59 pm

    Albert the cat cost about 2600. two years ago. He had a blocked ure­thra or some­thing. He’s a swell cat, but I feel he owes me.

  9. Kirk said on April 7th, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    That’s what our dog had.

  10. sue said on April 7th, 2008 at 7:47 pm

    Julie, your mom has it right. If you can do it, kids and pets just go together. Thanks for your con­cern, Kirk, and right back at ya. I know cats get blad­der crys­tals, stones and block­ages, but I didn’t know it was a prob­lem with dogs. I assume you now get to buy a pre­scrip­tion diet that your dog will hate for­ever. LAMary, a friend of mine has a cat that also pulled through that dan­ger­ous con­di­tion, and he is named Al too, only his Al name stands for Ass Licker. My cat is doing about the same. We still don’t know what’s going on or if he’s going to make it. I’ll let you know one way or the other.

  11. Harl Delos said on April 7th, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    the cat cost about 2600. two years ago.

    As a farm boy, I hear $2600, and I think, “Oh, my god, how much per pound is that?”

    Then I think about Marie. It’d be $20/pound for her; Ger­man Shep­ards weigh con­sid­er­ably more than most cats.

    And then I won­der what I’d do. It’s not a ques­tion of whether she’s worth $2600 to me. It’s a ques­tion of whether, if it takes $2600 to fix, would I be pro­long­ing her life, or pro­long­ing her death?

    I won­dered the same thing about my grand­mother, in her final years. She kept hav­ing oper­a­tion after oper­a­tion for her can­cer, and she never seemed to get well before they told she needed another one. I don’t mind the cost of the med­ical care, but sheesh, she suf­fered so much.

    She wanted so much to attend my niece’s wed­ding. It was her first great-grandchild to wed. A cou­ple of weeks before then, they told her that she wouldn’t be strong enough to go, and she had bet­ter not make plans she couldn’t keep. That did it. She gave up strug­gling, and died two days later.

    I’m so sorry your cat was so sick. I hope she’s enjoy­ing life now. Marie is start­ing to really get down on cats; she repeat­edly will approach cats in a friendly man­ner, only to get her nose clawed. But she always tries to be friends first.

  12. Dexter said on April 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    My cat died March 18, 2007, of Wal*Mart brand “Spe­cial Kitty” wet food packs. He was 15, but the vet said he died from the same thing thou­sands of pets died from last year. Odd, isn’t it, how that dropped out of the news cycle?

    I just returned from a 12 mile bike ride. Yes­ter­day I had the old Schwinn 10 speed out, today I rode the Spe­cial­ized cross-bike. A great evening for cycling. For luck, I found a quar­ter. I stopped and picked it up. I won’t stop for dimes…but a quar­ter, if I am just cruis­ing anyway.…what the hell. Once I found $37 frozen into the ice in a park­ing lot. I dug it out…I have found four bill­folds over the years, one had been stuffed with cash; it was my friend’s, and he had left it lying on the change machine. He had just been paid in cash for a cab­i­net job and that bill­fold had a few thou­sand in it. He bought me a jug of bour­bon and two cases of beer.
    Yard uglies? Here’s one for the books:
    Three days ago my Jack Rus­sell started sniff­ing at a strange thing…it was a white rat, flat­tened, in my yard. It was the kind they feed huge snakes, I think. How the poor thing ended up in my yard is a mys­tery, and I am leav­ing it at that.

  13. Dave said on April 7th, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    We spent $302 on our eight-year-old Bichon Frise, Desi, today, for an EKG and x-rays to learn she has a sig­nif­i­cantly enlarged heart. She’s on med­ica­tion, if she were human, she could have new heart valves, think of that cost. The doc­tor says she’s not in the con­di­tion where we should worry, yet, but who knows in another year. We thought we’d have Desi for a long time and maybe we will.

  14. joodyb said on April 7th, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    We try to be philo­soph­i­cal about vet bills; just have to live life one day at a time. though we are 2 dogs rich today, i still smart from the deci­sion to put my dar­ling Pearl down 3 years ago. i know in the mr. spock way that it was right. still.

    even healthy pets aren’t free. ken’s first round this spring — just the basics — came in at $246. he still has to be neutered. and then it’s jax’s turn.
    buy­ing power­ball tick­ets, of course.
    good luck sue and dave. dex­ter, that makes me so mad. rest assured peo­ple are still ral­ly­ing that cry. as we now know, it wasn’t just a pet-food problem.

  15. nancy said on April 7th, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    My FW neighbor’s fam­ily had been the con­tracted animal-control offi­cers in their rural county for years. She could catch a wild rac­coon like it was a sleepy puppy. But even she balked at her grandfather’s tech­nique for neu­ter­ing his barn cats, no vet needed — he kept an old over­coat in the barn with one sleeve stitched shut. He’d catch the cat, stick it head-first down the sleeve, and then quickly do the deed before releas­ing the cat to do its own post-op care.

    I’ve had a few vets tell me con­fi­den­tially that neu­ter­ing is one of the sim­plest pro­ce­dures they do, and that any­one with a min­i­mal under­stand­ing of the anatomy could eas­ily do it at home. (Not that you should try this, Judy.)

  16. Kafkaz said on April 8th, 2008 at 1:10 am

    Well. Quite a day. Var­i­ous repair peo­ple keep­ing me com­pany all week, as well. I should just put a stack of money on the front step and leave it at that. To top off all of this joy, a draft that just made its way to my desk­top was about 85% swiped from me – totally unat­trib­uted, but of course. So! Pla­gia­rism. That’s where I came in. Odd, though, in this set­ting. This one took me by sur­prise, in some ways, but also rein­forced my very low opin­ion of the swiper, who would about die, I think, if she knew that she’d pla­gia­rized me, here – her “source” mate­r­ial (my orig­i­nal, in other words) was passed along to her by still another per­son, who knew her to be entirely clue­less about this par­tic­u­lar area. What she copied? My, “here are some of the key things your clue­less per­son will need to get up to speed about in a big hurry” note to her boss (which he specif­i­cally requested from me). He sent that to her as advice from him, and she copied and pasted away, with nary an alter­ation. He then posted the result back to me. LOL. Sigh. I need to raise my con­sult­ing fees. A lot. (More for the stack on the step, don­cha know.)

  17. Dexter said on April 8th, 2008 at 2:06 am

    Here’ more stuff on Max Mosely, head of Grand Prix racing…he appar­ently likes to cavort with hook­ers in Lon­don dun­geons and abuse girls dressed up like Holo­caust pris­on­ers.
    Of course he likes to have his ass flogged, too, before per­form­ing acts with the loverly ladies.
    http://​www​.youtube​.com/​w​a​t​c​h​?​v​=​q​u​I​d​t​Z​u​F​X​z​Q​&​a​m​p;NR=1

  18. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on April 8th, 2008 at 8:45 am

    Bor­rowed from “The Writer’s Almanac” today, Apr. 8, apro­pos of the clien­tele of this cor­ner tavern:

    “It’s the birth­day of the jour­nal­ist Sey­mour Hersh, born in Chicago, Illi­nois (1937). He majored in his­tory at the Uni­ver­sity of Chicago and then went to law school for a year, but he was expelled for poor grades. He worked at a drug store for a while before a friend told him about the Chicago City News Bureau.

    One of the first major sto­ries he cov­ered was about a house that had burned down in an inner-city neigh­bor­hood. He arrived on the scene and all the mem­bers of the fam­ily had been wrapped in tarps and arranged by size. He said, “I had this lit­tle image; like daddy bear, mama bear, and lit­tle baby bears. It was a hor­rific, amaz­ing sight.” When he called in the story, his edi­tor asked him if the deceased were black or white. When he responded that they were black, his edi­tor told him to just keep it to one short para­graph in the paper.

    It was Sey­mour Hersh who broke the story that Amer­i­can sol­diers had mas­sa­cred an entire vil­lage in Viet­nam, killing all the men, women, and chil­dren. He fol­lowed up on it and broke the story of what is now known as the My Lai mas­sacre and went on to write a Pulitzer Prize-winning book on the sub­ject, My Lai : A Report on the Mas­sacre and Its After­math (1970).

    Since the Sep­tem­ber 11, 2001 attacks, Hersh has been writ­ing arti­cles for The New Yorker on the U.S. government’s response, Mid­dle East­ern pol­i­tics, and the war.”