Summer is party time, and it won’t be long now before we can’t open a magazine without hearing about some rapper’s coming-out party in the Hamptons, where guests sampled hors d’oeuvres made from fetal veal, served by waitresses dressed as mermaids, who swam around the perimeter of a fountain with trays held high. Upon arriving, everybody walked through a footbath of Cristal, just to get their toes all tingly and refreshed. At midnight, fireworks erupted from the ass of the ice sculpture of Michelangelo’s David, and as a lovely parting gesture, everyone got a goody bag contained gift certificates for round-the-world cruises and Lancome’s summer line of eye shadow. In Style will have all the photos.
Someone will bitch about the fetal-veal canapés. It’s not included in their Zone diet plan, or something.
Sunday morning I did my Alter Road loop ride, about 12 miles, maybe a little less. Alter Road makes a 90-degree turn at its southeastern terminus, and there’s a park there — Mariner’s Park, little more than a parking lot, a field and a fishing plaza overlooking Windmill Point, where Lake St. Clair narrows and becomes the Detroit River. It’s never deserted; no matter when I come there are always at least a few people with rods set in the brackets, trying their luck.
On Sunday, the white bass were biting with a vengeance. Everybody’s bucket was full, and those who had double hooks on their lines were bringing them up two at a time. A party atmosphere prevailed among this mostly middle-aged and older crowd — old-school floating from a boom box, lots of laughing and comparing the biggest on the stringer. One lady brought a portable grill, and was firing it up to make some lunch with the abundant catch.
No one asked me to either party, but I think I’d rather attend the second one. From the looks of the clothes everyone was wearing and, especially, the cars in the parking lot, no one here had a lot of dough. (There was one aging Ford Taurus that looked like it was, literally, held together with silicon sealer, Bondo and superglue.) But they sure were having a good time. It was the ten thousandth reminder that parties don’t turn on the food, the venue or even the occasion. Parties turn on the guest list, and the spirit everyone brings to the event.
Something to remember when you’re planning your Fourth of July soiree.
As for me, I was up early on an empty stomach. Package 2 of the 50th birthday present from my doctor is the usual blood work. You know I’m going to put off opening Package 3 for as long as possible, but the nurse was very stern: “We’ve had several patients who refused to accept this present, who are now seeing oncologists.” Got it. Anyway, after an hour spent with a growling stomach, cooling my heels in various waiting rooms, I rewarded myself with scrambled eggs with black beans and salsa, basically a breakfast burrito without the tortilla. And now I feel at one with the world and in love with all humankind. What a way to start Monday.
So, a bit of bloggage? Sure:
Hank Stuever tackles the question that’s been keeping you up nights: Just who wrote ‘Footprints,’ anyway? It should not surprise you to learn that lawsuits are involved.
The Chinese take the Soviets’ place as medal-mongers. Just one more thing I hate about the Olympics:
The American and Chinese (rowing) programs are drastically different.
In this Olympic year, about 60 United States rowers receive monthly stipends of $1,200 from the U.S.O.C. Last winter, they trained together for about four months, all expenses paid, but for the most part, they pay their own way.
Some, like Matt Muffelman, work part time. He is an associate at the Home Depot in Ewing, N.J., where he answers gardening questions like, “Are those mums squirrel-proof?” and “Where is the mulch?”
In non-Olympic years, most United States rowers work full time or attend school, often following training schedules prepared by coaches who live elsewhere. Some stop rowing.
Bryan Volpenhein won a gold medal in the men’s eight at the 2004 Olympics, then moved to Seattle for culinary school, preparing for what he called “real life.” Now 31, he returned last spring to the national team’s base in Princeton, N.J., where it rents boathouse space. Some rowers live communally, but Volpenhein house-sits for a professor. For meals, they fend for themselves.
Needless to say, the Chinese do not fend for themselves.
Someone — Jolene, maybe? — wondered if I had anything to add to the Michigan delegate fiasco, how the story was playing here, and the answer is: Not loudly. The fact is, we have bigger fish to fry — it’s hard to overstate how bad the local and state economy is at the moment; we’re heading into “Roger & Me” territory — and that’s good news for the architects of this bloody fiasco, who have largely escaped punishment. I’m not tight with the Hillary camp, but I’d think they’re smart enough to see the writing on the wall and settle for the 50 percent solution reached over the weekend. Brian Dickerson at the Freep has more, but I think the best course of action is to say, “We made our point,” sit down and shut up.
I won’t say anymore, because like I said before, I’m feeling in love with mankind this morning, and want to stay that way. Despite what the self-portrait, taken just moments ago, suggests:
Have a merry Monday.
julia said on June 2, 2008 at 10:46 am
The best part of the Footprints saga is that Ms. Stevenson’s story has been optioned by Marla Maples Trump for a TV movie.
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coozledad said on June 2, 2008 at 11:00 am
I always wonder how enthusiastic male physicians would be about mammograms if there were a similar screening procedure for testicular cancer.
“Just put them right there on the platen. There will be some pressure, and , heh, heh “mild” discomfort.”
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LAMary said on June 2, 2008 at 11:05 am
I’m thinking package three isn’t a mammogram. It’s colonoscopy. Yes?
The prep is a lot worse than the procedure.
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nancy said on June 2, 2008 at 11:06 am
Yup.
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MichaelG said on June 2, 2008 at 11:10 am
Bossy’s got the Michigan/Florida vote fiasco fairly well covered.
http://iambossy.typepad.com/
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coozledad said on June 2, 2008 at 11:21 am
My condolences.
The routine prostate exam is humiliating enough.
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LAMary said on June 2, 2008 at 11:21 am
My mother died at 50 from colon cancer. Get the colonoscopy.
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john c said on June 2, 2008 at 11:23 am
Don’t get me started on the delegate thing. My blood boils. When Hillary left her name on the ballot I thought, that sneaky cheater. But I didn’t think it would matter. (Thanks to Bossy for sharing this quote from back then: “It’s clear, this election they’re having is not going to count for anything,” says Hillary.) I’ve figured out for the past several weeks that she was pushing for any deal on delegates so she could claim the 600,000 votes he got here when my guy and the guy of easily 500,000 or so Michiganders wasn’t on the ballot. This is crucial to her plan to claim the popular vote. She should be ashamed of herself. She has gleefully dragged my party into the Rovian netherworld of the politics of personal destruction and slanderous innuendo. And she has undermined all the women who’ve succeeded without playing the gender card or trading on their husband’s careers. She has disgraced herself. Grrrr. Time for me to get some fresh air.
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colleen said on June 2, 2008 at 11:41 am
I’ve had the -oscopy….LA Mary is right…the prep is the worst part. I had my dr once tell me there are two kinds of cancer that can be prevented…colon and cervical….because they find the abnormal cells before they go all cancer on you.
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Kirk said on June 2, 2008 at 11:53 am
I just had my own package 3. A breeze. And the Demerol/Vercid combo they give you is interesting.
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Jolene said on June 2, 2008 at 11:56 am
john c, you might want to check out James Fallows’s comment on what’s up w/ Hillary. The title? How Hillary lives with herself (one hypothesis). See, too, the Politico article in his footnote.
Thanks, Nance, for the follow-up.
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MichaelG said on June 2, 2008 at 12:00 pm
You’ve got it John C. Claiming her people have been disenfranchised when, in fact, it’s Obama’s people who got disenf’ed and then claiming that she got the most popular votes. She only gets the high vote total when counting FL where Obama’s people didn’t vote in any real numbers and MI where they didn’t vote at all. Can you imagine the screaming from the Clinton camp were it Obama wanting to change the rules after the fact and count states favorable to him?
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colleen said on June 2, 2008 at 12:07 pm
God I love demerol and versed. Nighty night!
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Catherine said on June 2, 2008 at 12:23 pm
A good friend died of colon cancer at 54, leaving a 14-YO daughter. What Mary said.
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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 2, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Footprints is in Third Corinthians, people; pay attention there in the back. We will now turn to the Book of Hezekiah, which i like to preach from when i have no idea what else to say.
(Lawsuits over Footprints. Honestly. But lady #3 sounds a bit off her meds.)
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nancy said on June 2, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Don’t worry, I’m accepting the present. Just give me a couple weeks to get the stuff that actually hurts out of the way.
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LAMary said on June 2, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I was not completely unconcious for my procedure. I was awake enough to know someone was messing around with parts of my body I consider very private, and I tried to wheel around and slug the gastroenterologist. They upped the sedation after that.
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Jolene said on June 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Sen. Obama is speaking to Michiganders in Troy right this minute. On MSNBC. It’s pretty much the same old stump speech, though, with details adapted to the local audience. For instance, he tells us that for the money Oakland County has spent in Iraq, it could have provided health insurance for 90,000 people.
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Hattie said on June 2, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Everyone: get the colonoscopy. My husband’s father died of rectal cancer at age 63. My husband got a colonoscopy at age sixty. The Dr. snipped out a pre-malignant polyp. At the follow up, he said, “Congratulations on saving your own life.” My husband’s now 66, and I’m sure glad he’s still around.
Nancy: You are such a fine writer. I wish there were someone around here in journalism (Hawaii) with your eye and your heart.
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John said on June 2, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I tried to wheel around and slug
Thanks for the medical tip on how to get more drugs!
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Dexter said on June 2, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I waited until age 57 and had the scope on my birthday. The prep …don’t worry , because it ain’t that bad…easier on me, anyway, than when, a while back, I got food poisoning from a walk-away crab meat and red sauce cocktail from a vendor on Fisherman’s Wharf in The City.
Now I can’t wait until the C D , possibly titled “Woody and Bob and Nancy…’This Land is Our Land’ “. The mix will be created using the technology of the 1991 duets album featuring Natalie and her late father, Nat King Cole.
The self portrait kinda reminded me of Dylan’s.
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Joe K said on June 2, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Hattie,
I just wish we all could be out there with you in Hawaii!!
Any flying jobs out there???
Joe K
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Julie Robinson said on June 2, 2008 at 3:05 pm
The hubby had gift #3 not long ago and it went well for him, too. But it felt like a peek at our future. He wasn’t allowed to drive afterwards because of the drugs, they made him take a wheelchair out to the car, I had to wait for a couple of hours, on and on.
The worst part for me was in the recovery room while he was still sedated. He was so quiet and passive and dreamy and seemed a lot like his mother. She is losing the battle with Alzheimers and it was scary how alike their behavior was.
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MarkH said on June 2, 2008 at 3:05 pm
THIRD Corinthians, Jeff??? As in 3rd chapter, of which of the two Corinthian books? 3rd verse, maybe? But you’ve got to narrow that down a lot more…
Or is there some pastor joke I’m missing here…
Admitting I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes.
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Dorothy said on June 2, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Oooooh weee but the prep was nasty. I had mine a little over 4 years ago when I was in Cincinnati. And all was well for me. But I lost a sister-in-law in 1999 to colon cancer when she was just 40. Not a nice way to go. And it took my Grandma, too, in 1971. I’m more than happy to go thru the test considering the alternatives.
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MarkH said on June 2, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Yes, I’m slow…(!)
Never mind…
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Jeff said on June 2, 2008 at 3:42 pm
MarkH — Y’know, First Corinthians, Second Corinthians, then Third Corinthians. It’s as clear as Hezekiah following Malachi in the Old Testament, if you follow my exegesis.
Or in this case, isogesis.
Speaking of inappropriate insertions, everybody — have the colonoscopy. I, for one, prefer the lemon-lime; the cherry left a nasty aftertaste.
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Sue said on June 2, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I’m having little gag reflex flashbacks right now – stop talking about the prep!
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MarkH said on June 2, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Yes, Jeff, yes; a little slow is all I have to say. As soon as I hit “send”, sometimes, THEN I get it, but too late (today).
Pastor humor; hmph.
Insertons: at 56, I’ve had both, and recently, too, and I’m glad I did; colon and prostate (and bladder) are normal, for an old guy. And, yes, for me as well, the prep is always worse that the procedure itself. Get them done, people, I say.
Sorry if that’s TMI.
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Hattie said on June 2, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Joe K. Our economy is dead. Two airlines just went bankrupt. Not a good time for job hunting here. Try Seattle!
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Dexter said on June 2, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Hattie…can’t help but think of my Aunt Hattie. She drove a Studebaker , a funny lookin’ one
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derwood said on June 2, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I’ve had the dreaded #3…although shouldn’t that really have been #2?
First time they gave me the liquid crap(sorry)….I had to have another one 2 years later and it was all pills. Same result, you just don’t have to down a gallon of flavored goo.
daron
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joodyb said on June 2, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Mark had the lemon fizzy one. it was delicious, i thought. but i’m weird. yes, i’m going, i’m going. calling this week.
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coozledad said on June 2, 2008 at 5:56 pm
I’m sorry, but I got terribly confused here. For some stupid reason I had it in mind that “prep” included a barium enema. Then you guys start talking about the flavors. Fizzy lemon, banana. Jeez. Talk about a high colonic. That’s just too damned rugged for me.
I figured it out and I’m all better now.
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Danny said on June 2, 2008 at 6:12 pm
No, coozle. When Nancy Nallers get high colonics, we prefer habanero-jalapeno “flavors.”
Trust us, it’s a real pick-me-up.
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Dexter said on June 2, 2008 at 6:19 pm
NEVER let your friend be the tech who Xrays you for that which coozledad writes of.
“I can’t get it in!”
“Just stick it up your ass!”
“I CAN’T!”
“Oh Jesus Christ! Give it to me.”
“Hey you sonofabitch! You could be a little gentle!”
“I’d say go fuck yourself but …just shut up and let’s get this over with!”
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caliban said on June 2, 2008 at 6:23 pm
David Sirota is a progressive saint. So’s Matt Taibbi. They despise Hillary because of her ‘ambition’. This is pretty hilarious. Anybody ever run fir President without being ambitious? So Obama’s a patron saint and some bastard that just cares about the little people and nit his political career. Sure thing.
Both those assholes have intimated she killed Vince Foster. How is that progressive? And what the hell is progressive? Holier than thou. Progessive/ I’d say Bobby. Obama isn’t Bobby any consiederation. if you think so, you’re an idiot.
Deafeatist , and oh,. we’re jokes. The most despicable piece of shit in the history of the Presidency. What a fucking mook. Waht a scumbag. He bagged VietNam and . trashed Kerry/ You couldn’t possibly be a bigger assh0le. It’s actually not possibleto Be a more disdisring piece of shit. I may be a jerk, but I’m bit that big a jerk.
If we consider issues, a Hilllary has it all over health, the environment. There isn’t anything more important than health care. This woman ha it down better than anybody.
.
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LAMary said on June 2, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Nothing like a cold gallon of golitley and a night in the bathroom, afraid to stand up.
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caliban said on June 2, 2008 at 6:42 pm
David Sirota is a progressive saint. So’s Matt Taibbi. They despise Hillary because of her ‘ambition’. This is pretty hilarious. Anybody ever run fir President without being ambitious? So Obama’s a patron saint and some bastard that just cares about the little people and nit his political career. Sure thing.
Both those assholes have intimated she killed Vince Foster. How is that progressive? And what the hell is progressive? Holier than thou. Progessive/ I’d say Bobby. Obama isn’t Bobby any consiederation. if you think so, you’re an idiot.
Hillary is self-arandizing,, obama ism’t. If that’s progressive , You’ an idiot. you think sof some such such shit.’.
.
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caliban said on June 2, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Never let anybody we care about screw with our emotions, somebody we care about. i, do dare. It’s ridiculous , Who’s to say..
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whitebeard said on June 2, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I had the gastroentero whatever and the doctor found a web growing across my stomach entrance so he punched a hole in it with the camera to start with. but the strange part is that novacaine could not be used to numb the passageway because I am severely allergic to anything ending in caine. So they knocked me out, greased up the camera tube and did their poking. I do not remember a doctor ever suggesting a colonoscopy but both my parents never had colon problems and lived into their mid-eighties.
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joodyb said on June 2, 2008 at 8:37 pm
web. wow. i mean, i hope you’re still ok. they never told you what it was?
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Danny said on June 2, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Nance, it just hit me. That picture is what Andy Warhol would have done with you. Voila, now you’re worth millions, just like Marilyn.
joody, is what you posted some cryptic message that activates a Manchurian candidate? My best guess.
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Danny said on June 2, 2008 at 10:02 pm
You guys won’t believe what I’m doing right now. We just received 5 dvd’s worth of Speed Racer. It is a present for my nephew’s birthday later this month.
I’m watching disc 1… ahem …just for quality assurance purposes, of course.
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brian stouder said on June 2, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I think the self portrait with the stylized palette really captures something; the image has a jaunty texture, while the visage itself suggests something more substantive (which mirrors nn.c almost perfectly)
Spent Saturday and Sunday at several high school Open Houses near Logansport….made me feel oooooooold! Then, the young folks and I went to the movies at Peru (Iron Man – which wasn’t so bad! ‘Course, it helps if you like Gwyneth Paltrow) – and on the way back, we made a point of driving past Cole Porter’s childhood home. A beautiful place, but it was closed (I think the kids were happy about that).
And today, it was off to Grand Rapids (business trip); a beautiful sunrise on the way there, and a beautiful sunset on the way back.
PS – China has had a horrendous road to the Olympics, yes? If they wanna win medals, I say, more power to ’em
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whitebeard said on June 2, 2008 at 10:40 pm
The web is not uncommon, I have met other old fogies who had the same thing although not as bad as mine that required a diet of baby food for too many months. They even have various sizes of upside-down miniature Christmas trees that are poked through the narrow opening to widen it. To add to the fun, my throat has a hard time swallowing because it’s allergic to some unknown food, probably red meat, which causes frequent choking when eating. I always try to sit next to someone big enough to administer the Heimlich maneuver on me. I also try to avoid red meat so I don’t choke in the first place.
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Danny said on June 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Okay, forget what I was asking joody. I somehow missed whitebeard’s first comment about the web. Hope you are feeling okay, man. That sounds unpleasant.
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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 2, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Penguins on power play . . . loooook out, Detroiters!
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nancy said on June 3, 2008 at 12:16 am
Just finished second OT. Don’ t’ink so.
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Dexter said on June 3, 2008 at 1:54 am
Goddammitt. And he “Babe Ruth’d it” …called his shot. I thought Hudler was gonna score, then I thought home-boy Rafalski was gonna do it…Holmstrom nearly got one in…when Lidstrom banged that puck off the boards and it came out in front of the goal I thought Kris Draper might be there…then it’s over and the Cup goes back to Pittsburgh for another game. I am not gonna hang the L on Hudler for the last power play…he didn’t intentionally face-slash that Penguin.
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basset said on June 3, 2008 at 8:03 am
interesting Freep article on the white bass. never caught ’em on such a large lake myself but I did have a real good day on the White River in Arkansas once, ultralight spinning rod and four-pound line with a 1/16 oz. white jig was the combination.
of course, REAL sportsmen fish only with the fly but I am not enough of a gentleman to join that rarefied company.
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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 3, 2008 at 8:47 am
Whaaa . . . . [wakes up in recliner in living room, reaches for laptop] . . . wha’ happened? Is the hockey game over yet? [rubs eyes, clicks to espn.com]
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Jolene said on June 3, 2008 at 9:06 am
Another way in which American Olympians don’t get as much support as they might is in travel expenses for their families. In most sports, the parents must pay themselves to see their children compete, and a trip for two could cost as much as $25,000. The parents of one of the U.S. boxers are, literally, holding bake sales (well, ok, taking orders for cakes) to raise the money to travel to see their son. Seems like we should be able to do better than that.
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brian stouder said on June 3, 2008 at 9:10 am
Non sequitur
I love msnbc.com; they’re my homepage. But this picture has been on their frontpage all morning, and now I am actively avoiding it….. granted, this is legitimate news, but do they have to lead off their site with it?
http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photo_StoryLevel/080603/080603-bike-accident-hmed-330a.grid-4×2.jpg
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