Call me heartless and quick to jump to conclusions, but here goes: I’ll put money down that the GOP has found its own Tawana Brawley in Ashley Todd, who claims the following:
That she stopped at a Pittsburgh ATM late Tuesday night, where a dark-skinned man standing six-feet-four robbed her and then, upon seeing the McCain sticker on her car, returned to beat her in the face and then carve the letter B upon her cheek. Here’s the photographic evidence of the crime:
That’s the short version. Among the oddities connected to the case: A Twitter feed in which young Ashley noted, “Stubbornly searching for a bank of america to avoid ATM fees,” and then, “Pretty sure I’m on the wrong side of pittsburgh,” followed a bit later by, “Oh the blog I will be making soon…Its been a rough night.” (I know when I’m looking for an ATM late at night, I also pull over a time or two to send a tweet into the ether, too.) There’s the fact she refused medical assistance, and that the Pittsburgh police want her to take a polygraph. And then there’s the photo, which has its own problems. The B is backward. The “black eye” looks less like a real black eye — which, if you’ve ever gotten one, you know to be more in the purplish range than this, which looks, quite frankly, like me after I’ve had a couple glasses of wine and tried to rock that “smoky eye” thing they’re always doing on the beauty shows. I also like how her mascara seems to have survived the attack, which must have been terrifying and wrung at least a few tears from such a tender soul. Give that girl an endorsement contract.
And then there’s the carving. “Carve” seems to be the term all the stories and bloggers have agreed on, although the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review (yes, the Scaife paper) is going for “etched.” Carve implies that skin was broken. This girl was scratched, not carved. And why a B? Didn’t the mugger get the memo? Message discipline requires that we settle on a single letter to describe our savior, and that letter is O. Everyone knows this.
Also, Ashley works for the College Republicans. Click this link, cntrl-F “boen” and see where they touched down in Fort Wayne. So sorry, Ashley — I may eat my words, but I bet I won’t. Hope that couple of hours at the top of the Drudge Report was worth it.
The end of boating season is at hand. I’m off to help pull “Lush Life” from the water. Back later, if I’m not divorced.