The condiment question.

Despite my best efforts, not to mention my nearly superhuman powers of procrastination, I cannot read everything on the internet, so this mustard thing nearly slipped past me. Can it be true? Did Sean Hannity actually poke the president as a fancypants elitist for having ordered “spicy mustard…Dijon mustard” on his cheeseburger? Video evidence confirms he did. Wow. I’m impressed.

It so happens I have a little experience in this area — mustard-related class issues, that is. Alan’s dad was tickled by the Grey Poupon commercials Hannity references in that segment, the one where the two Rolls-Royces pull up beside one another and the fancypants poofters inside borrow mustard. So one year for Christmas, as a joke, Alan bought him a jar. His mother took him aside later and said, “You shouldn’t have spent all that money,” having perhaps, like Sean Hannity, absorbed the wrong lesson from the ad. Of course Grey Poupon and other Dijon mustard isn’t expensive at all. It’s just…spicy. And brown. When those ads started running, when the Great Democratizing Push of Dijon Mustard began in the 1980s, mustard was yellow and that was that.

Oh, hell, you’re all graybeards like me. I don’t need to tell you this.

The Rolls-Royce ads worked the way ads are supposed to — they branded Dijon mustard as the choice of Rolls-Royce passengers everywhere, even as Kraft (its owner) was selling it to the masses for a couple bucks. I most often use it in salad dressings of all sorts. It really enlivens a potato salad, if you ask me, and it is the only choice for deviled eggs. In my opinion, Obama’s greater mustard sin was putting it, or any mustard, on a hamburger. I don’t think mustard and beef go together anywhere except on a hot dog. A friend of mine who once worked at McDonald’s told me there’s a strict order to the condiment application there, and that mustard always goes on top of the ketchup blob, because mustard, even plain old McDonald’s yellow mustard, is too strong a flavor to directly touch the meat.

In fact, if you put me in a dark room under a single hot light and sweated me, I’d lay out my whole condiment/meat philosophy: Ketchup, and only ketchup, is for hamburgers, and mustard, and only mustard, is for hot dogs. The start of grilling season at our house really begins with the ritual Sneering at Alan’s Condiment Choices for his Hebrew National, dramatized here by Clint Eastwood:

I like a single stripe of Plochman’s and a few chopped onions, m’self, although I’ve been known to use Dijon and even sweet relish, but never, ever ketchup. Some things are sacred. (Before you Chicagoans weigh in, let me just say that so-called Chicago-style dogs are gross, too — cucumbers? Tomatoes? Bitchpleeze.)

The Straight Dope tackles the mustard question with customary flair, here.

And that’s gotta be the end of it for me, today. I finally scored a new printer, and had planned to start a new Friday feature called Embarrassing Pictures, but I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to figure out the scanning function, and the work will not let up until mid-afternoon, at which point I’m going to celebrate with a few garage sales, not an owner’s manual. Besides, I know you people love nothing better than a big discussion about nothing — thanks for all those ringtone updates early in the week, btw — so I’ll let you take it from here.

Or maybe we’ll end up talking about torture again. Or stress tests. Or whatever. All I know is, I gotta lotta copy to edit in about two hours. You have a good weekend, you Rolls-Royce driving poofters, you.

Posted at 9:38 am in Current events, Popculch |

61 responses to “The condiment question.”

  1. Colleen said on May 8, 2009 at 9:52 am

    Don’t the burgers at Henry’s have Fancy Mustard? Those are pretty good.

    I worked at Burger King in high school. 1/3 oz of ketchup (heinz) and 1/9 oz mustard on a burger. No mustard on the Whopper.

    202 chars

  2. whitebeard said on May 8, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Ah, to me, a garage sale, tag sale, lane sale, yard sale, flea market, boot sale (British) whatever you call it, is a fine way to begin a weekend. And I found out that my favorite grand flea market (called Elephant Trunk in western Connecticut) rents ride-em scooters so I can extend my range beyond my limited walking ability. Go find some treasures, enjoy.
    And a spot of mustard on my hot dog, please, nothing fancy or too spicy. And could you put the mustard on the bun before you insert the dog because I spill a lot when I eat and I do not have my mustard yellow shirt on today.
    I do not like the taste of beef these days but I have a double cheeseburger (hold the pickle, but otherwise all-dressed as they say in Montreal) from McD’s once a week, which raises the obvious question “Where’s the Beef?

    807 chars

  3. Connie said on May 8, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Long ago, maybe 1991?, my hubby, kid, and I did the horsedrawn buggy ride thing in San Diego. At some point we pulled through a dark parking lot, a car drove up and stopped, rolled down the window, someone asked us “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?” rolled down the window, and drove off. We were amused.

    My guy used to have a thingie hanging in the back window of his pickup that said “pardon me, do you have any plain yellow mustard?”

    My hotdog? Sacrilege I know, but give me Cheez Whiz, ketchup and onions.

    525 chars

  4. alex said on May 8, 2009 at 10:01 am

    Just had a Henry’s Burger last night, Colleen. Comes with both Fancy mustard and mayo. And Nance, I disagree re mustard on burgers. Can’t stand ketchup on them but I’ll do mustard, yellow or brown. And pickles.

    210 chars

  5. coozledad said on May 8, 2009 at 10:08 am

    Obama should have ordered a veggie burger with slices of bloody prosciutto instead of that crappy orange cheese. And “What, You haven’t got any pureed cabbage? Fuck this place. Joe, let’s go to that titty bar and grab a brioche and pommes frites.”
    When you’re eating to piss Republicans off, you’ve got to go full metal theater of cruelty.

    340 chars

  6. Julie Robinson said on May 8, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Don’t forget dijonnaise, combining spicy mustard with that ultimate white person condiment, mayonnaise. The DH is hooked on it for his sandwiches. I’m a ketchup girl myself. Or is it catsup–is that a regional thing?

    219 chars

  7. nancy said on May 8, 2009 at 10:11 am

    OK, Coozledad wins, only five comments in.

    (I have to start quitting my e-mail when I have work to do.)

    107 chars

  8. moe99 said on May 8, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Mayonnaise in Belgium is far different from the mayonnaise we get here. When I lived there, I used to buy corniches of french fries on the street with a big dollop of their homemade mayo on top. Was it ever good! You can duplicate it at home, but it takes time.

    264 chars

  9. Connie said on May 8, 2009 at 10:17 am

    Nancy, is this a contest? Is there a prize?

    44 chars

  10. Jason T. said on May 8, 2009 at 10:19 am

    Plain mustard and a little dill-pickle relish, or maybe some chopped onions. That’s all.

    Here in Pennsyltucky, we have a packing house called Bell-View. They make a fine yellow mustard that’s inexpensive, to boot.

    Give me a freshly grilled Silver Star hot dog, some Bell-View yellow and a good crusty roll, and I’m a happy fellow.

    Ketchup on hot dogs is fine only for small children, the extremely elderly, or buffoons. I’ve had knock down arguments with close friends over this.

    I’d rather have a plain hot dog than put ketchup on one. Cheese doesn’t belong on hot dogs, either, by God.

    720 chars

  11. nancy said on May 8, 2009 at 10:22 am

    No contest, but I figure anyone who can make me laugh out loud on a Friday morning deserves some approbation, at least. That’s the prize: Approbation.

    150 chars

  12. Danny said on May 8, 2009 at 10:23 am

    I don’t know why, but the last few years, I’ve really become a renewed fan of plain, yellow mustard. Perhaps it is because we go to this restaurant chain called “Islands” where their default burger condiment is yellow mustard accompanied by lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles. I like a lot of pickles too. Oh, and an ice cold mug of draft beer is mandatory.

    I used to be a strictly ketchup-hamburger, mustard-hot dog guy, but no more.

    Hannity and many of his cohorts are throwing everything and the kitchen sink full of Dijon mustard against the wall to see what sticks. It’s kinda ridiculous and rubs me the wrong way. As much as I can disagree with some of you on this board, I still think that President Obama may be doing okay and he needs to be given a chance. Maybe not as much of a chance as MSNBC’s Chris “I’ve got a tingling up my leg” Matthews and Olbermann will give, but a good chance. Maybe a year’s worth.

    I still have problems with how the “smartest guy in the world” didn’t know that his preacher of 20 years was quite the racist hate monger or what sort of people he was in bed with politically ala Bill Ayers and Tony Rezko, but that’s all water under the campaign bridge of political expediency. And we’re in a bit of a mess right now and he needs to be given some time.

    Oh, and I do think he needs to have a talk with Michelle about uttering things like, “Everyone should have a chief of staff and a set of personal assistants.” Not cool. Not smart.

    1603 chars

  13. brian stouder said on May 8, 2009 at 10:27 am

    I agree, re – NEVER any catsup on hotdogs; mustard only, unless one is in Logansport at the B&K, and then one must get the Spanish Cheesedog.

    But when it comes to hamburgers, I’m a libertarian – and will try anything. Max and Erma’s has a “garbage burger” that I will go out of my way for. Amongst other toppings, it has guacamole (hope I spelled that correctly) – and does look like garbage – but it’s good.

    friend of NN.c alert Good ol’ Laura Lippman will be on Craig Furguson’s CBS show on May 14 (h/t to Marjorie of CT)

    edit: “That’s the prize: Approbation” I’ve been trying to cut down on that (I already wear glasses)

    752 chars

  14. Danny said on May 8, 2009 at 10:28 am

    And Nance, I disagree re mustard on burgers. Can’t stand ketchup on them but I’ll do mustard, yellow or brown. And pickles.

    Alex, I’m reconsidering. Maybe we could go on a date some time.

    202 chars

  15. nancy said on May 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

    “Everyone should have a chief of staff and a set of personal assistants,” Obama said with a laugh as she spoke…

    I’ll go out on a limb here and take “she was kidding” for $200, Alex.

    201 chars

  16. Jenflex said on May 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

    My family has always gone for Weber’s horseradish mustard…”importing” it from Buffalo, NY. God help the family member who comes back and doesn’t bring some.

    159 chars

  17. Dorothy said on May 8, 2009 at 10:32 am

    We must have five different kinds of mustard in our fridge and I don’t touch one of them – unless it’s to squirt some into potato salad or such. I eat my dogs plain. I know – boring, right? But that’s how I’ve always done it! Mike uses mustard when he makes ham using this recipe – it’s the only kind of ham we ever make anymore:

    410 chars

  18. Danny said on May 8, 2009 at 10:32 am


    Sean Connery: I’ll take “the rapist” for $200, Trebek.

    Alex: Umm, that’s “THERapist,” you idiot.

    106 chars

  19. coozledad said on May 8, 2009 at 10:43 am

    The diet of real men. Straight from the can.

    114 chars

  20. LA Mary said on May 8, 2009 at 10:45 am

    If you really want to be pretentious about mustard, request Moutard de Meaux. Made by Pommery. It comes in a clay crock and it’s delicious. I used to eat it on pumpernickel with nothing else save butter. It’s excellent on burgers.

    230 chars

  21. jeff borden said on May 8, 2009 at 10:50 am


    It’s bad enough I’m a god-hating secularist liberal fascist who wants America to be ruled by sharia law that forces everyone to drive a hybrid car, but now my darkest secret has been laid bare by Sean Hannity and his Army of Wingnuttia.

    I am a mustard snob. We do indeed have Grey Poupon in the refrigerator along with some generic Chinese mustard from the local Asian supermarket, Stadium Mustard (from the Cleveland area) and my personal fave, Koop’s Horseradish Mustard. There is no bright yellow mustard to be found in our home nor is there likely to be in the foreseeable future.

    Why products that taste good are somehow associated with elitism by our balogna eating pals at Fox puzzles me. Do they really prefer French’s bright yellow stuff to a good spicy mustard? Do they really prefer watery American beer (the mass produced stuff like Bud) to craft-brewed or foreign beers? Are we all supposed to be drinking Bartles & James wine coolers instead of a nice cabernet?

    Man, you know you are working the farthest reaches of the fringe when a trip to a burger joint becomes “All The President’s Mustard.”

    1133 chars

  22. mark said on May 8, 2009 at 10:59 am

    Siracha, the garlic chili sauce, has become my condiment of choice for beef on a bun and for lots of other purposes.

    For dogs, I’m in the mustard and onion crowd, with maybe some dill relish.

    For a guy who has made a lot of money talking, Hannity has a real tin ear. I can’t listen to him. Not everything Obama does is wrong or even noteworthy. The mustard thing is just stupid, in a creepy, mean-spirited way.

    And I’m really liking Ms. Obama’s style, if not her politics. I caught the “she laughed” part of the story, and I like that she can say “hey, it’s really cool being here” instead of acting like the perks are earned or deserved. I think it reflects a genuine humility.

    692 chars

  23. nancy said on May 8, 2009 at 11:06 am

    I’m feeling mellow and expansive today, and I feel like giving Hannity the benefit of the doubt. Let’s assume he and the others who piled on were half-kidding. The problem is in their tone and delivery. If on the one hand you’re going to raise questions of “socialism” and “fascism” with a straight face, you can’t turn on a dime and suddenly be all light-hearted about mustard. Unfortunately, Fox News is sounding exactly like the Kos people during the darkest days of the Bush era, when everything was a table-clearing outrage and run-of-the-mill, he’s-only-human bonehead goofs like putting his hands on the German prime minister’s shoulders were thisclose to sexual assault.

    They need to watch more Jon Stewart. He does those tonal shifts extremely well.

    762 chars

  24. moe99 said on May 8, 2009 at 11:14 am

    Just remember that the generic brand of mustard in this country is named French’s . I mean that has got to be renamed Freedom’s or it ain’t real Amurcan.

    162 chars

  25. Jen said on May 8, 2009 at 11:14 am

    Seriously? They’re going after Obama’s choice of condiments now? If people didn’t actually buy in to their crap, I might actually laugh.

    I guess I never realized dijon mustard was snobby. We’re a pretty blue-collar, conservative, down-to-earth family, and even we had Grey Poupon in the fridge from time to time. Though, personally, I still am quite fond of the taste of cheap yellow mustard. I guess it depends on my mood.

    I mean, seriously. What’s next, are we going to find out that Obama puts the little packets of “fancy ketchup” on his french fries? The horrors!

    576 chars

  26. Jen said on May 8, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Nancy, even if Hannity is being funny (which he could be), the problem is that a lot of the people who watch his show don’t get the sarcasm, irony or subtle humor. It’s scary, because you know that they’ll all be running around talking about how Obama is an elitist because he uses Grey Poupon on his hamburger. Hannity knows this, and unless he expressly says he’s being facetious, I think he’s being a little irresponsible.

    425 chars

  27. Linda said on May 8, 2009 at 11:21 am

    I have to laugh. When I was a kid, we always had brown, spicy mustard in the fridge, not because my father was an elitist, but because he was a Polish American guy whose tastes remained more firmly European than American. Of course, we also always had head cheese and creamed herring in the fridge, too.

    305 chars

  28. moe99 said on May 8, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Look, the Republicans made hay like crazy when Kerry put swiss cheese on his Philly steak and they think they can do it again (sorry to steal your thunder, Caliban). And just remember that many folks believe that Colbert is serious in his denunciations of Democrats, that’s how frakkin’ stupid denizens of the far right are. So of course, Hannity’s jokes will be taken seriously.

    382 chars

  29. Scout said on May 8, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Hot dogs (or as we call them in our house, not dogs, since they’re veg) are only meant to be eaten with yellow mustard and sweet relish. Burgers (again veggie) have no business coming in contact with ketchup or mustard. Mayo with tomato and pickle. Yes, I’m wierd. But not like Hannity is wierd.

    299 chars

  30. Soulwhat said on May 8, 2009 at 11:44 am

    I think this frivolity about spicy mustard is absolutely fabulous!

    I take my burgers with yellow mustard and extra pickles only at Micky Dee’s and the likes. Ya gotta do something to coax some flavor out of those hockey pucks. Otherwise on a real burger, I prefer a nice spicy mustard with either pickles or relish and some raw onion, same way I do my dogs. I bet these deranged people would put mayo on a Corned Beef and Pastrami sandwich 🙂

    I have taken to watching bits and pieces of FOX News as comic relief during commercial breaks during the NHL playoffs. It is kinda kool to see these A$$hats completely loosing the last bits of their credibility. It was bad before but now its so transparent that anyone believing anything on FOX at this point is hopeless.

    I better go out and stock up on some of that elitist Goldens Spicy Mustard.


    861 chars

  31. Sue said on May 8, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Really, you can’t look at a recipe these days without seeing dijon mustard in the ingredient list. It’s everywhere. I thought it lost its hoity-toity rep years ago.
    I will reserve judgment on this until the true authority weighs in, and so far they have been silent. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Mount Horeb (Wisconsin) Mustard Museum:

    375 chars

  32. Jeff Borden said on May 8, 2009 at 12:05 pm


    The resurgence of the Chicago franchise after the death of the iron-fisted owner, William Wirtz, and the ascension of his son, Rocky Wirtz, has ignited in me a desire to know more about hockey. One of my pals has taken to inviting me to his home to watch in HD while he tries to explain the various and sundry arcana of the sport to me. I’m still largely unfamiliar, but the sheer effort and athleticism are mighty impressive. These guys may be the best pure athletes of any of the major sports.

    I give you a lot of credit for watching Fox even in short doses, Soulwhat. I just can’t take the screaming any more. Fox, CNBC, MSNBC — they’re all off my radar screen while I’ve come to treasure the calm of Jim Lehrer and the breadth of the BBC World News, which airs nightly on the Chicago City Colleges station.

    832 chars

  33. Sue said on May 8, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Jeff: shutupshutupshutup about the Hawks. Are you trying to kill their chances? Don’t say anything until they’re a little further along. You can hop in when this blog has the big Chicago/Detroit smackdown discussion.
    Great games. I’ve been watching on Versus. I understand that there are problems with blackouts in Chicago or something.
    Edit: Oh, and re your comment about hockey players being the best pure athletes – I consider hockey announcers to be the best “athletes” in sports announcing. How do they do it?

    524 chars

  34. brian stouder said on May 8, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Sue – too funny!! And to think that we drove within a few miles of the Mustard Museum in Mt Horeb, when we went to the House on the Rock!

    Best laugh of the day was clicking around that site, and coming upon a picture of a dozen or so greybeards (coulda’ been the Annual Meeting of NN.c Denizens) sitting on metal folding chairs at the museum, watching a video (presumeably about mustard)

    edit: Pam would probably never let me live the down the offense of stopping there – but that’s the dijon-like spice of any vacation.

    And, Sue – the REAL question is – what kind of mustard for your brat? Dijon is simply the ONLY way to go, when I slap my big Johnsonville into a fluffy bun

    699 chars

  35. jeff borden said on May 8, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Hey Brian,

    Up in Milwaukee, when you buy a brat at Miller Park, they offer you something called “red sauce.” It’s not exactly catsup. I honestly don’t know what the heck it is, but it’s pretty tasty with a Johnsonville or Usinger. Any Wisconsinites out there who call tell me what red sauce is?

    Sue, I am not jinxing anything. I’m just enjoying the ride in the same way I enjoyed the Bulls’ classic seven-game series with the lousy, filthy, dirty, cheating Celtics and Rashon
    Rondo can go %$#$# himself. It’s just cool having a team in the playoffs. And we know the Hawks are very, very young, giving them a pretty bright foreseeable future.

    649 chars

  36. Sue said on May 8, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    On my (veggie) brat I like plain yellow, but I’m hopeless that way.

    67 chars

  37. Sue said on May 8, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    Jeff, perhaps you’re not jinxing anything. (Deep breath). It’s just that, well, it’s been awhile since that team has done anything. I believe that the last time they won the Stanley cup the team’s starters included actual Black Hawks, left over from the war.

    261 chars

  38. jeff borden said on May 8, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    I think it has been 48 years since they won a Cup. In a city where the Cubs reside, that’s hardly even worth noting, lol. I covered the Blackhawks as a business for more than a decade, when Dollar Bill Wirtz was running the show. He was one of the last of a dying breed of gentlemen sportsmen, who enjoyed owning teams but not spending too much on them. His loyalty to his season ticket base drove him to keep the home games off television at a time when every other franchise, bar none, was trying to get more of their games on TV. I recall the Bulls marketing veep calling televised games a 2-1/2 hour commercial for his product. But Mr. Wirtz had the opposite view and the madhouse that was a Hawks home game could only be experienced by walking into the old Chicago Stadium or, later, the United Center.
    His son has done yeoman’s work in a very brief period of time. Snatching away the Cubs’ genius of marketing, John McDonough, to be club president and repairing the damage to the older pros who had left the Hawks with a bad taste in their mouths. The new team now connects with the great icons of the past in ways that would have been unimaginable a few years ago. It’s been a feel-good story all season and, regardless of how far the Hawks go in the playoffs, major league hockey is back in Chicago, big time.

    1324 chars

  39. Mark West said on May 8, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Nancy! Mind like a steel trap! I believe I told you about McDonald’s putting a drib of mustard on the bun first, then covering it with a dollop of catsup (Hunts) and onion and pickle. Goes back to my days at Mickey D’s Morse Rd…

    I prefer Ketchup (Heinz – note the spelling difference)on both burgers and hot dogs and don’t like the fancy brown stuff. Now sweet onion mustard? That’s a different story!

    IMHO, Barry and Joe can eat their burgers any way they want.

    476 chars

  40. Rana said on May 8, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    OT, nancy, but have you seen this?

    126 chars

  41. Sue said on May 8, 2009 at 1:06 pm

    Jeff, it never left for some of us. Big time, glad to hear it. So I’ll come on board and join you in your cheer, but in a realllllly quiet voice right now: go blackhawks.

    173 chars

  42. MitchAlbomFan said on May 8, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    “Hannity and many of his cohorts are throwing everything and the kitchen sink full of Dijon mustard against the wall to see what sticks. It’s kinda ridiculous and rubs me the wrong way.”

    Yep. Yep. Aaaand yep.

    (I wonder where douchebag Hannity could have learned such hateful behavior over the past nine years, don’t you? But now… now it’s time to play nice. Now it’s time to stop kicking shins in comment threads and just channel the bipartisan morlock within.)

    486 chars

  43. jeff borden said on May 8, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    Hi Dwight! How ya feelin’ today? All Randian, maybe? What kind of mustard do you prefer, my man? What would John Galt put on his frankfurter??

    142 chars

  44. Mindy said on May 8, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    The Grey Poupon in my fridge must be the coarse stuff, which is terrific in recipes. The next time I run out of it I’ll wave down glamorous cars until one of them can produce a jar of the Country Dijon style.

    209 chars

  45. adrianne said on May 8, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Brian: you (and cooze) gave me huge laughs today in your comments. “When I slap my big Johnsonville into a fluffy bun” could be porn slang!

    BTW, hot dogs with mustard only – any kind is OK – and only ketchup on my burgers, thank you very much.

    246 chars

  46. beb said on May 8, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    What I don’t unfderstand are the restaurants that automatically deliver A1 sauce with their steaks. Why would I want to bury the taste of a good steak under suck a strong and cloving condiment? But then I feel that way about all hot sauces. Hot sauce is only good for eating garbade when you don’t want to taste what the food is like. But for a good steak, hamburger, burreto, etc. the meal is all the flavoring you need.

    I never outgrew my liking for ketchup on hot dogs. In fact I tend to treat jetchup as an all purpose relish for fixing whatever tastes bad. Or bland. Bean soup was always spicied up at home with fresh cut onions and a large dollop of ketchup.

    For all the horrors Hannity etc. are having over Obama’s spicy mustard, they’re all overlooking the fact that Obama and Biden just up and dropped in on a smaller diner. Eating like ordinary people. the President even pulled out cash from his own wallet to pay his bill. I beat Bush had “people” to carry around his money for him.

    1002 chars

  47. paddyo' said on May 8, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    Sue, thanks for the Mustard Museum link, where, if you burrow down a little, you can find the sponsors of National Mustard Day (Aug. 1), all residing beneath as big a tent of mustardistas as you could imagine, from the b(right)yellow wing to the leftovers. Particularly nice: French’s and Grey Poupon are next to each other. Really now, can’t we all just get along?!

    366 chars

  48. nancy said on May 8, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    My mind is more like a rusty cheese grater these days, but yes, Mark, that was you who told me the stuff about how McDonald’s dresses its patties. I just have these odd pockets of retention.

    190 chars

  49. Lex said on May 8, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    Y’all need to try a Carolina cheeseburger, which includes yellow mustard and chili and sometimes cole slaw. That’s not my favorite burger, but I eat one now and again.

    We’ve got both yellow and Dijon mustard in the fridge. Fun fact: yellow mustard is a good source of turmeric (for those of you who don’t keep some in the spice rack), a natural antidote to heartburn.

    I want neither ketchup nor mustard on my hot dogs, just chili and slaw. But I like yellow mustard on my sausage biscuits.

    495 chars

  50. Mark Gisleson said on May 8, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    The difference between liberals and wingnuts like Hannity? No matter how half serious, Hannity never stops with the digs and never forgets that the point is to belittle Obama.

    In this thread even the Hannity bashers immediately returned to the pressing question of “which mustard is better?”

    Not to worry. You can shut down a wingnut comment thread just by throwing in a casual remark about barbecuing.

    409 chars

  51. Danny said on May 8, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    First, yes, I knew Michelle was joking too, it’s just that it is going to play like chuckling after a “Let them eat cake” comment to some people who lost their jobs recently.

    Anyway, interesting morning around my neighborhood. Before work, I went down to the local high school where I’ve been lap swimming for years and couldn’t get in the parking lot with my car and almost didn’t get in on foot. Turns out that SURPRISE, there’s a big media event going on today. Apparently, Adam Lambert, a recent American Idol luminary is an alumni of the school and he was coming to perform a couple of songs.

    I wasn’t aware of this until I parked up the hill, walked down towards the entrance through the multitudes and asked a mother standing in line what was going on. She excitedly told me that Adam Lambert was there and I’m like “Who is Adam Lambert.” So after finding that out, I walk towards the entrance to the lot and a security guard stops me with a tentative, “Uh, Sir?” So I tell him, I’m there to lap swim and show him the contents of my swim bag. He’s still a little unsure, like I am trying to scam him, so good grief, I finally motion to my Led Zeppelin bandana and say, “C’mon, dude. As if!”

    I refuse to watch reality shows and just don’t watch much, in general (Moe, you know what I frakkin’ like), so it was kinda odd to have this pop culture collision today. Now I find out that the dude is gay to boot. It just seems odd that a gay guy almost kept me from wearing my muy-macho speedos.

    1599 chars

  52. nancy said on May 8, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Thanks for sending that comments thing, Rana. Hadn’t read it, but as we’re in the first stages of discussing how we’re going to craft our comments policy at, it is handy.

    That said, there sure were a lot of fairly dumb assumptions in there. But a few interesting points, as well.

    305 chars

  53. Danny said on May 8, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    I gotta agree with you all about hockey. The players and the commentators are great. The playoffs have been awesome to see and it’s very cool to be able to watch the NBA games at the same time because I gotta tell you, they’re awesome too. First round Bulls-Celtics. Three or so games that went into multiple overtimes. Need I say more?

    I do have a complaint with VERSUS blacking-out Ducks’ games just because some local market station may pick it up here in San Diego. Memo to VERSUS: NO ONE IS SHOWING THE GAME IN SAN DIEGO!!!

    536 chars

  54. alex said on May 8, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    First, yes, I knew Michelle was joking too, it’s just that it is going to play like chuckling after a “Let them eat cake” comment to some people who lost their jobs recently.

    Tsk. And those gorgeous biceps and that Princeton law degree, what an affront to those who have flabby limbs and eleventh-grade educations. Really, the First Lady should just go into hiding and quit making the less fortunate feel so wretched.

    433 chars

  55. Danny said on May 8, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    …what an affront to those who have flabby limbs and eleventh-grade educations.

    Nah, I think she should be okay with the key Democrat voting demographic.

    164 chars

  56. basset said on May 8, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Sweet relish? On a hot dog? Sheeesh.

    You probably put sugar in your cornbread, too.

    Back in the late Eighties, on the way from my college roommate’s wedding to the reception, we thought it was just comical as hell to roll down the limo window at stoplights and ask whoever was next to us if they had any Grey Poupon.

    Then again, at my wedding a few years earlier, my sister-in-law needed a can of baby formula or some damn thing on the way to the reception so we all piled out of the Malibu wagon and went into a corner grocery in Kalamazoo in our (mostly rented) wedding costumes. Roomie, same guy, was with us and saw a good price on water-softener salt so he threw a big bag over his shoulder and we got in line to pay. Didn’t take long, most everyone in the store was keeping their distance and peeking at us around the ends of the rows.

    853 chars

  57. CrazyCatLady said on May 9, 2009 at 1:09 am

    Try Red Pelican Mustard — Made In Detroit!!

    44 chars

  58. CrazyCatLady said on May 9, 2009 at 1:15 am

    I loath Catsup! But… I love Ketchup. As for my dog-of-choice, Give me a National Coney Island Dog anytime. Just a natural casing dog, steamed bun, slathered with bean-free chili, chopped onion and bright yellow mustard. Ketchup for the fries ONLY! Oh, and a side order of Tums, please.

    287 chars

  59. CrazyCatLady said on May 9, 2009 at 1:22 am

    Go Wings!!!

    11 chars

  60. Dan said on May 9, 2009 at 9:49 am

    I had my first Chicago-style hotdog IN Chicago earlier this month. It was so good I wanted to blog about it, but exercised restraint. Certainly better than the fancy eats at the cloth-napkin places that made up the rest of the trip.

    Charleston, SC, has become a hotbed of hotdog creativity. Jack’s Cosmic Dogs has an excellent specialty that involves blue cheese slaw, and our local minor league ballpark has two worth mentioning: The Smoky, which is a hotdog dressed with BBQ sauce and two strips of bacon, and The Riverdog, which is a slaw dog with a significant twist: a pickled okra.

    But the best (worst) hotdog in the world (from my limited perspective) is the Yum-Yum dog in Greensboro, NC.

    As for Hannity, I’ll consider listening to him AFTER he’s been waterboarded for the USO. Until then, moving on…

    888 chars

  61. LA Mary said on May 9, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    Catsup is an Indonesian condiment, called Ketjap there. Obama lived in Indonesia. It would have been elitist like crazy if he had ordered ketjap on the burger. Maybe with a little sambal oelek as well. Dijon mustard is pedestrian.

    230 chars