Trouble is gone to.

I’m out to Dearborn early on assignment, then back here to greet J.C. and Sammy, passing through en route home from the U.P. We have this inside joke when they come through. John says, “Now don’t go to no trouble,” but when people sleep under your roof, you sort of have to clean the bathroom. You have to go to that much trouble. But as crazed as I’ve been of late, I can’t go to much more trouble than that. The kitchen floor could stand a mopping, but it’s going unmopped.

This visit may be the ultimate no-trouble visit. Clean sheets, a clean bathroom, but that’s it. I expect we’ll go to Trader Joe’s and spend a million dollars on wine and nibbles. I’m taking the night off. It’ll be awesome.

All this by way of saying you guys are on your own today. Maybe we can kick off the discussion with Coozledad’s letter to the editor:

I’ve been to many places in the United States, and I’ve also been to Lynchburg, VA. I assume Mr. Roberts has done some traveling, when he presumes to speak for American values, because Lynchburg may as well be Moscow, or Beijing, or Tehran. It’s one of the least American places on the planet. Pork-barbecue theocracy with a dash of scuba-suit kink and compulsory inbreeding is by no means a plan for the rest of this nation.

“Scuba-suit kink” — I wonder if, somewhere in wingnut heaven, that guy knows the gift he left behind, just by being his own sweet self.

Also, Dexter someone who sent an e-mail to Dexter saved a turtle. And paid the price.

I’ll check in sometime Wednesday. You all stay classy.

Posted at 1:29 am in Same ol' same ol' |

40 responses to “Trouble is gone to.”

  1. Dexter said on June 10, 2009 at 2:20 am

    All I did was copy an email and post it. My brother’s friend Sarah, the turtle-saver, seems like a remarkable woman, though, very caring.
    Also, we learned during the hockey game last night that Kurt Maltby of the Detroit Red Wings is a spokesman for this organization, which makes him a good person

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  2. James said on June 10, 2009 at 7:12 am

    Hey… I saved a turtle the other day.

    Lake Avondale (actually, a pond) is filled with turtles, and it seems that this time of year they’re compelled to cross the road. Maybe looking for a place to lay eggs? I dunno.

    Anyway I was taking my walk and saw that a SUV had stopped beyond where this turtle was crossing the road, and a dad was pointing out the turtle to his son (“Look son. It’s the circle of life…”) but doing nothing about relocating the turtle, who was in danger of being run over by the other SUV heading down the road toward this little scene.

    So I picked up the turtle (who wasn’t very happy about it) and returned it to the lake side of the road. So I have those karma points going for me.

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  3. alex said on June 10, 2009 at 7:36 am

    They are laying eggs and this is the time of year. Flat turtles all over the roads around here.

    I see some that come back to the same spot every year and always around the same date. It’s as if they’re in a trance. They’ll lay their eggs even if you’re standing over them watching. At my mom and dad’s house there’s a giant snapper that goes to the same spot every time. At my house there’s this funky turtle with a shell that looks like a baked potato and it does its thing by the gate to my vegetable garden. It prefers dusk while the snapper at my folks’ likes the morning.

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  4. Sue said on June 10, 2009 at 8:48 am

    We have to stay classy today? Where’s the fun in that?

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  5. Dorothy said on June 10, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Now you’re all making me feel guilty as hell. A couple of weeks ago I had the afternoon off and headed to a quilt show at the Dairy Barn at Ohio University. On the way there I had my brand new camera beside me on the front seat of the car. I’m zooming down Sycamore Road (longest county road in Ohio, I’ve heard) and what do I see but a turtle crossing. At first I wasn’t sure what it was, but as I approached I realized what it was. I slowed down but did not stop, since there was no traffic around at all behind or ahead of me. But I do feel badly now that I didn’t get out and (1) take a picture of the little fella or gal and (2) help the creature make it safely across the road.

    Sarah is a very special young lady, Dexter! Thanks for sharing the story.

    And Sue is right – do we have to stay classy all DAY or just for an hour or so before things slip into degradation??

    (almost forgot – did anyone else see the premier of “Nurse Jackie” with Edie Falco the other night? It is on Showtime. We watched it last night on our DVR. What a hoot!! This show’s gonna be another favorite of ours, I can tell already. They showed lots of previews and a few of them made me laugh out loud. Can’t wait to see the rest of the season.)

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  6. Connie said on June 10, 2009 at 9:55 am

    I’ve posted turtle pictures before so…. something a little different. Yesterday my husband took this amazing series of pics of a fishing heron, just a couple of blocks from my center city office.

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  7. Randy said on June 10, 2009 at 10:16 am

    It’s not turtles, but here is a link to a family of peregrine falcons raising their babies on a hotel rooftop here in Winnipeg:

    They have been going to that same spot for 20 years. Prior to that, they used the rooftop of a 30-story office tower a few blocks away. I was a summer student for the building’s maintenance crew, and so I had roof access that summer. It’s just stunning to see a falcon perched on a ledge, then to see it swoop effortlessly to the roof of another building.

    Anyway, there is a lot of anticipation this year, because last year all the chicks drowned during a severe rainstorm. There was concern we wouldn’t see the falcons return. Currently, we are told the chicks are bored, and have “delusions of flight”, so a close watch is going on, trying to protect them until they are ready to go.

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  8. Catherine said on June 10, 2009 at 11:11 am

    You all have peregrine falcons and turtles; I have a mourning dove pair that wants to nest in the grape trellis outside my office (and over our outside dining table — ewww). These have got to be the stupidest birds on Earth. You look in their eyes and there’s nothing there. Some other animal always steals their eggs, but they keep coming back.

    Re the TJ’s feast, good idea. One year when we went camping, my sister only brought TJ’s pupus and wine. It was perfect.

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  9. LAMary said on June 10, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Nurse Jackie was very good. I saw the free preview and actually went back to paying for premium cable to get the show. Edie Falco is just the best.
    Mourning doves seem pretty stupid. When I had an outdoor cat, she used to score mourning doves even when she was ancient, deaf, and nearly blind. One of my dogs has caught mourning doves. They remind me of chickens pecking the ground for bugs oblivious to everything else.

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  10. alex said on June 10, 2009 at 11:28 am

    Great heron shots, Connie. There’s a heron that hangs out on my beachfront a lot. This morning saw two in flight together, which was a first. (Probably the mating/chasing game, I’m guessing.) There’s a rookery nearby that I’m aware of. Conservationists failed to stop a developer from putting up new housing around it (despite the world not needing or wanting any more taupe vinyl subdivisions, as we have plenty of those sitting largely vacant).

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  11. Dorothy said on June 10, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Well, not as cool as Mr. Connie’s heron shots, but I got some nice hummingbird ones this past weekend:

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  12. Jolene said on June 10, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Had enough of being classy? Check out this long online conversation, which someone linked to in Gene Weingarten’s WaPo web chat yesterday. I don’t think a person strictly needs to read the whole thing, but it’s impressive to see how successful and good-humored people are avout sustaining the metaphor.

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  13. LAMary said on June 10, 2009 at 11:56 am

    In case anyone needs to be reminded of the scuba suit kink story.

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  14. del said on June 10, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    That was a funny thread Jolene.

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  15. brian stouder said on June 10, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    Dorothy – great picture! And the really striking thing about it is that the hummingbird is drawn to your hummingbird feeder. My mother in-law has gotten a few of those over the years, and they never work; but she gets hummingbirds near her front window all the time.

    The retention pond near my workplace draws herons from time to time; quite majestic, even in the face of the (lately) hectoring geese – who are only now beginning to relax a little, with their rapidly growing young’ns (and the absence of our coyote friend)

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  16. Scout said on June 10, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    I’ve got a pair of house finches that built their nest in the upturned light fixture attached to the ceiling fan on the back porch. The two of them are constantly swooping in and out of there and each time they return we hear the babies going wild. Anyway, we have taped the switches into the off position for both the light and the fan until the family vacates.

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  17. Sue said on June 10, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    Jolene: Oh my heavens. “Is the kitchen spotless?” Some of those commenters are NN.c-worthy.

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  18. paddyo' said on June 10, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    Mourning doves dumb? I always thought, “slow,” but maybe that’s the same thing (same result, too, perhaps).
    At any rate, about a dozen of them come in daily for the pickings left beneath my backyard bird feeder by the messy flocks of house sparrows and house finches that seem to dominate my corner of Denver.

    That said, it’s hard out there for nesting birds. Here’s a tale of woe from up Aspen way.
    Hungry golden eagle + six heron nests = scrambled egg buffet . . .

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  19. Dorothy said on June 10, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    I’m never going to have a grilled cheese sandwich again without thinking of this thread, Jolene! (comment #263 is especially funny)

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  20. Julie Robinson said on June 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    So, how we doing on the staying classy? Grilled cheese indeed. Or, in the local parlance, cheese toasties.

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  21. Dorothy said on June 10, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    We’re all gonna get a scolding when Nance gets back.

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  22. alex said on June 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    I liked the reply by the woman who said her husband doesn’t like to eat tacos.

    Grilled cheese was a pretty lame euphemism. I’m pretty sure what they’re talking about is fudge poundcake.

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  23. MichaelG said on June 10, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    We used to have a dove couple that hung with the chickens. They would spend all day wandering around scratching and pecking.

    That was a pretty amusing post. I never heard the grilled cheese metaphor before. I do know what tacos and fudge packing are. Mood, love, gentleness and reciprocity are all.

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  24. Catherine said on June 10, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    That open-faced club sounded pretty good, too!

    Mom’s gonna kill us.

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  25. moe99 said on June 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Anyone near the financial district in San Fran? Beware of the dive bombing bird protecting her nest:

    There’s even a blog for the bird:

    Have to say I like my grilled cheese sandwiches toasty. (ducking for cover)

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  26. Sue said on June 10, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    All I can say is I’m glad it’s not sharing week anymore.

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  27. Scout said on June 10, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    My favorite comment so far:

    >Have you given any thought to watching a few carefully-selected cooking classes together? It can really help to overcome resistance to something she might be reacting to as a frightening technical challenge or an abnormal craving, and give her more confidence in the kitchen.

    If she’s averse to this idea, then that’s another indication that she isn’t willing to make a reasonable accommodation in the relationship. My husband and I have been enjoying video cooking lessons for years, and it’s really improved both the quality and quantity of our own kitchen efforts.<

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  28. coozledad said on June 10, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    My problem seems to be shoddy kitchen equipment. You’d think I’d show up at class with a proper spatula, but hell no. My wife’s always been pretty gracious about my cooking, but the truth is, we’re eating a lot less these days.
    I’ve been thinking about one of those battery powered Cuisinarts.

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  29. Julie Robinson said on June 10, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    It’s NOT sharing week anymore, Cooz!

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  30. Jolene said on June 10, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Just dropping back in after being offline most of the day. Glad to see I was able to put that classiness idea to, um, bed. I don’t think it was fudge pounding that was being discussed, Alex. Too many references to things oral. Weingarten’s comment, by the way, was,

    I do find it interesting, and possibly very suspicious, that the letter writer does not think to mention whether he fixes his girlfriend grilled-cheese sandwiches, and whether or not he tries to make them as appetizing and interesting as possible, with nice little garnishes and cornichons and whatnot. This does seem to be all about him, doesn’t it?

    So ladies, when your significant others start bringing pickles to bed, you’ll know what they’re looking for.

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  31. Dexter said on June 10, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    Good catch on the non-taco eatin’ sumbitch, Alex, although I just couldn’t keep reading the advice on that thread.
    Confession week redux: never had any fudge poundcake.

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  32. joodyb said on June 10, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    Thank you, LAMary. I was trying to recall it.

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  33. alex said on June 10, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Well, Dex, they’re a pain in the ass to prepare and always turn out bitter rather than sweet. So I’ve heard.

    I would think anyone who would want one is almost as twisted as the people who crave Little Debbies and Ho-Hoes.

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  34. Dexter said on June 10, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    Ho ho, good one there, Imus!
    Off topic (ho ho) but I watched the 1998 Woody Allen movie “Celebrity” on cable recently. In one scene, a lady seeks instruction from a lady-of-the-night on how to properly fix a grilled cheese sandwich, and first she must have been hungry so she starts acting all-weird with a peeled banana…so she must have been demonstrating something else…and the escort-lady chokes on the banana and has to have the Heimlich maneuver applied, and before she is done gasping she lights a ciggie…the star asks her if she really wants to smoke right now?—“Oh, yes!”

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  35. moe99 said on June 10, 2009 at 9:23 pm


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  36. beb said on June 10, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    I hope Nancy is having a good time. For some reason, either I’m being very distracted reading this thread or you people are being very random.

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  37. CrazyCatLady said on June 11, 2009 at 1:59 am

    You people??? Random? lol

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  38. Connie said on June 11, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Based on the comments, I am glad that I chose not to follow that link.

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  39. brian stouder said on June 11, 2009 at 9:49 am

    Word, Connie!

    (why did this thread remind me of having a box lunch at the Y?)

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  40. moe99 said on June 11, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Connie, Brian–you didn’t read the grilled cheese thread? It’s like the Seinfeld episode on onanism only better written!

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