Friends, this is going to be pretty paltry. We’re getting a new roof today, and already I’m a prisoner in my own home. The living room is darkened by the blue tarps and particleboard shielding the windows from the tear-off, which is clamorous. I don’t dare go upstairs, because as loud as it is down here, it’s worse up there, where the roof is. Our contractor comes highly recommended and promises they’ll be done in a day, but what that means is, there are approximately 15 guys swarming around, all stoked on Monster and cigarettes, each one armed with a tool that makes a lot of noise.
And yes, of course I have work to do. Quite a lot of it. What a fun day this will be.
So let’s punt:
Life, too strange for fiction:
A German student “mooned” a group of Hell’s Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.
The president’s problem is, he’s too smart and he uses them big words:
(Obama said): “That is why just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation’s best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge — a team led by Dr. Steven Chu, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and our nation’s secretary of energy.”
“A little less professorial, less academic and more ordinary,” Payack recommended. “That’s the type of phraseology that makes you (appear) aloof and out of touch.”
Yes, by all means, Mr. President, throw in “real America,” “three-legged stool” and “freedom and democracy” the next time.
(The roofers just added a gas blower. I think I’m off to the library.)
Federal prosecutors in Detroit say a local crime ring ran a mortgage fraud scheme that cost lenders more than $100 million and was used to fund a lifestyle that included hot rod cars, international travel, palatial homes — even a helicopter.
Which can be blamed on?
Novy said the fraud, rooted in the relaxation of lending standards, can be blamed on the mortgage industry and Wall Street, which packaged the loans for investors.
Really? You don’t say.
Two blowers now. I’m outta here, guys.