Well, that’s one way to man up a minivan.
Dexter said on August 21, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Nice. Love it. I have one of those stuffed gorillas with boxing gloves smushed up into my huge windshield on my minivan. Oh yeah, he ain’t no cutie…mofo got boxing gloves on to scare away AM radio thieves. He ain’t got no nut sack at all, don’t need none.
But that ball bag looks odd on that rear end of that Honda, which looks like it’s smiling at its followers on the minivan freeway. Helluva catch their, photographer; I wouldn’t even have noticed.
Car tip… I looked at a new Ford Fiesta this morning, again…third time. Somebody who got their stuff together made this car. It’s damn-near perfect.
brian stouder said on August 21, 2010 at 12:48 pm
That person is indeed on some sort of strange Odyssey. (Penelope presumeably would have hung Odysseus’s junk there, if she’d have known he was gonna be gone so long, eh?)
Looks like an odd bookend for A Lick and a Promise; a term which, by the way, I’d never heard before. Thanks to NNc, my education continues!
edit – and I noticed the wet back window before I saw the testicles. It’s raining here, too – which is OK. The ground is hard as…errr…rocks. Speaking of Saturday Morning Market, the young folks and I stopped at a farmers market on the way back from the library yesterday; it was way down Main Street, near Leesburg Road. (the street was a block west of Runnion, and was paved with bricks) Scored $3/dozen fresh-picked corn, plus some dollar jewelry for the girls
Barbara said on August 21, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Seems rather… out of scale for a creature as big as that.
alex said on August 21, 2010 at 2:11 pm
It takes brass balls for some men to drive a mommy mobile. And silicone titties for some women to drive a man’s Corvette. I believe we’ve finally achieved sexual parity on the highways, for whatever that’s worth.
nancy said on August 21, 2010 at 2:16 pm
And for whatever this is worth, even though we’re only four comments in, I think we can all agree Alex wins this thread.
brian stouder said on August 21, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Last month, Grant and I were at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Saturday (qualifying/practice) before their big NASCAR race, and we wandered into the various manufacturer displays in the infield. While we were in the Chevrolet area, I was peering into a yellow Corvette, and saw that the sticker price was $85,000. I had my hands firmly clasped behind my back as I looked into the engine compartment and the cockpit, so as not to actually smudge anything.
A sales puke ambled over and asked if I was in the market for such a car, and the response that crossed my mind was some blurred combination of “Do I look like a Viagra candidate?” and “Do I look like an aged lawyer/tax accountant/insurance agent?”….
but all I said was something like “ha ha ha – NO!” – whereupon he ambled away.
And then I wandered over to a blue Corvette, which looked (to me) just the same as the yellow one, but its sticker price was $56,000. I would have called the salesman back and wasted his time explaining to me what the difference was (I’d a’ rather had the blue one anyway), but he had his job to do.
And the Camaros were $15,000 lower
Deborah said on August 21, 2010 at 4:09 pm
It was ungodly hot in chicago around 11 this morning. We were showing some out of town guests around Millennium Park and lordy it was humid. We finally went inside the Modern wing of the Art Institute and had lunch there, where of course it was freezing. It’s better now, less humid and the temp is around 83 or so, lots of boats out on the lake where it must be heavenly. It rained early in the morning so that’s why it was so humid, standing water everywhere.
moe99 said on August 21, 2010 at 4:45 pm
How is that within the space of 6 hours the founder of Wikileaks can be charged w/ rape and assault by a Swedish prosecutor and then have the charges withdrawn? Could there be behind the scenes manuevers by a bumbling national security agency?
Rana said on August 21, 2010 at 8:21 pm
I find myself hoping that the owner of said minivan is poking fun at the Hummer and giganto-Chevy drivers who sport these things, but I have a suspicion that it’s meant unironically. If so, what I want to do is point and laugh; I’ve never understood the appeal of these things as serious purchases.
brian stouder said on August 21, 2010 at 9:39 pm
Say – a complete digression, but go read this:
After 1865, then, Southern apologists hardly ever claimed that the country or the region would have been better off had slavery survived. States’ rights, of course, was another matter. A decade before Grady put the final rhetorical seal on it, the subtle alteration in the Southern position had encouraged Northerners to revert to what might be called “default federalism,” a more traditional understanding of the constitutional system modified only by the conclusion that slavery and secession had been settled for all time. Fifteen years after Fort Sumter, ordinary citizens in the North and their political leaders were looking for an exit strategy from a devastated, occupied, but still defiant South in the throes of the bitterly hated Reconstruction. The outcome of the 1876 presidential election was disputed amid massive fraud, and a commission ultimately had to settle it. The eventual result was a bargain that historians today, following C. Vann Woodward’s classic Reunion and Reaction (1951), uniformly denounce as the shameful beginning of an era of segregation and white supremacy that lasted until the middle of the 20th century.
Go read; good stuff.
Bill said on August 21, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Although minivans are the most ridiculed vehicles around I love my Chrysler Town & Country with Stow and Go seats. It’s moved tons of 4 x 8 sheets of plywood, styrofoam and luaun, transported small Brownie Scout troops, moved my granddaughter to college last week, allowed my wife to take the ladies to lunch two weeks ago and pulled a trailer loaded with lawn care equipment my son-in-law needed delivered. Next week it will tow a gas-fired pig barbecue for a birthday party. And it will carry most items like bags of mulch, topsoil, potting soil and lumber from Home Depot. It doesn’t need an artificial sac of testes to prove its worth. Yet it’s the most misunderstood and mistreated vehicle in history.
Not to mention it’s easier to climb in and out of for those of us who aren’t quite as agile as we were a few years ago.
Rana said on August 21, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Bill, I always felt that minivans were underappreciated – but then, I’ve had friends with VW busses and have long been impressed with what they can do. Me, someday I hope to have a station wagon. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be too popular these days, with most of that niche being filled by mini-SUVs like RAV-4s and CRVs.
basset said on August 21, 2010 at 11:21 pm
The VW bus is Basset Jr.’s dream car… I wanted a bus myself until I drove one. Those new little Ford Transit vans look interesting, you can get a stripped one and install your own interior. Never thought Americans would ever get the chance to buy a vehicle made in Turkey, though, even if Ford is an American company.
I have a Subaru Outback wagon which has hauled everything from boxes of floor tile to dead deer without complaint… just today I took it off-road on our deer lease to put out some salt blocks. still miss my pickup, though; there’s just something about having that all-purpose throw-anything-in-there area in the back.
speaking of floor tile, ours is just about in and we plan be back in the house early to mid September. we did go with tile in the kitchen and both bathrooms, and real, not laminated, hardwood floors. pictures to come.
the Subie rides pretty low, though, with enough tile in the back for two bathroom floors, a kitchen floor, and two shower surrounds.
Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on August 22, 2010 at 12:23 am
I know, I know, I promised more — but at least I now have the footage of where I get called out, if not name-checked. Let me watch it for myself and then try to deconstruct his bizarre take; here’s the tape from Wednesday:
Dexter said on August 22, 2010 at 1:45 am
Bill and Rana, you get it. While for certain it is that the minivan is designed for kid hauling, when the vans approach hoopdee status , and a guy rips out the middle seats and flops the rear seats down flat, a minivan becomes a cargo hauler supreme. I can roll a bicycle up in there quickly and head for a trail that’s a bit too far to ride to from home, and right now I have a few of my favorite hand-made walking sticks and a machete back there because I walk with my dog in wooded areas all year round, daily. I have a big white bucket back there with gloves and a few tools, and an emergency roll of toilet paper and a piss bottle in case I get stuck in traffic and well…you know. I admit to using it just one time. It’s just a big plastic coffee can with a screw-top lid.
Bill Geist of CBS did a piece on his friend from New Jersey who died on 9-11.
This was just after the funeral. It was the best short piece of television journalism ever. The man had a son in Little League. After a hard day in the towers across the river , he’d come home and pack his beat-up old 1990 Dodge Caravan with his son and a few of the kids from the neighborhood and drive them all into The Bronx for a Yankee game. That was just part of the tv piece, and the old minivan was just part of that segment.
So I am sure the power of that piece had a lot to do with the day in 2002 when I was cutting across a car lot on foot and a salesman ran over to see what I needed, because a clearance sale was going on, and I reached into my pocket and wrote a check for a 1990 Plymouth Voyager minivan, because I needed a van, and I figured if an old Chrysler product was good enough for that New Jersey guy who I never even knew, it was good enough for me.
Julie Robinson said on August 22, 2010 at 9:10 am
Ditto, ditto, ditto on loving minivans, though I have not personally peed in mine. We have both family minivans along on this trip for our daughter’s move. And being able to step down without twisting my already damaged knee is a huge plus–I will always need a taller vehicle. The Ford Flex looks almost like a station wagon to me; have you looked at it Rana?
Deborah, we’ve also been experiencing that heat in Chicago, in a 3rd floor walk-up with no AC. I’m not sure how many more times we can move a kid, it’s just killer for us now with bad backs and bad joints. I have never been happier than when a group of her friends came in to carry everything down those three flights of stairs.
So, what do you do when you’ve finished racking up eight years of student loans? Why, go to Europe for two months of course! Our daughter’s reasoning is that she will never again have this kind of freedom, and besides she knows lots of people to visit and stay with, so why not go now? Part of me is envious and part of me shudders at the credit card balance.
Connie said on August 22, 2010 at 10:56 am
I’ve put 130,000 on my Dodge Grand Caravan, and yesterday it took part in the kid’s move to Bloomington for grad school, though roomie’s rented Penske truck took most of it. Always amazing how much it can carry with the seats out.
Dexter said on August 22, 2010 at 2:05 pm
So there it is…minivans rule. I used to have the best of worlds; I had a ’69 VW microbus, a pickup truck (always a Ford or a Chevy / GMC) , a new wagon for my wife, and an Escort or Grand AM for economy driving on my 75 mile daily commute to Auburn, IN. All registered, all legal, all ready to drive. I didn’t need all those vehicles, but I could get away with it so I did it. I admit that the couple years when I had seven motor vehicles at one time was really overboard. So now I am down to one motor vehicle, plus Carol’s wagon, and I have thirteen bicycles in the garage. Carol ordered me to get rid of half of them. I won’t do it. Anybody seen my brass nut sack around here?
Rana said on August 22, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Thanks for the recommendation, Julie. It’s closer to what I’d like than a lot of the stuff on the market, but not quite there, and I’m leery of Fords (better than Chevys, but still less reliable than Hondas and Toyotas these days). Of course, what I want doesn’t seem to exist: a giant version of my Honda hatchback. There are a few wagony things coming out now (especially in Europe) but they have shitty rear window arrangements. If I can’t see well when I’m backing out my huge hauler, I don’t want it!
Runner up for the station wagon is the panel van. Lots of good childhood memories created in the one owned by my parents’ friends; they had it fixed up almost like a camper inside, with a full mattress on the floor, so when we went on road trips all the kids would pile in and just roll around and lean on the walls. (Ah, the ’70s, when you could get away with a van full of loose kids rattling about in the back.)
Jeff Borden said on August 22, 2010 at 2:52 pm
If I could have any of my old cars back, it would be my 1980 Accord LX. It never, ever let me down. . .and was not burning a drop of oil when the motor mount rusted through in 1992 and the transaxle dropped out. My wife said I could get it repaired, but she’d never drive it again. It was certainly not a high-powered car, but the five-speed manual was a blast to click through and a real asset in bad weather. The back of the rear seat folded down –not flat– so I could carry a fair amount of stuff when needed. And what a paint job. Even though Midwestern winters and salt had started some pretty strong rust cancers in the rocker panels, the rest of the car shone like the day I bought it for a whopping $7,000. I will happily admit that the day I took the license plates off that car was a sad one that left me in a funk. I guess I figured that sucker would run forever.
Deborah said on August 22, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Julie, I think your daughter is doing the right thing going to Europe when she’s young and unencumbered, even if she is going into debt to do it. I so wish I had done that. My sister went to Europe when she was in college, I didn’t because I thought I shouldn’t spend money I didn’t have. What neither of us knew was that our father was going to pay off all of our student loans for us as wedding gifts (we both got married the same summer). So she got a trip to Europe paid for and I didn’t. But that’s beside the point. What I know now is that I would have learned so much from a trip like that, I should have gone into debt to do it even if my dad hadn’t paid off my student loans. As it turned out I didn’t get to Europe until I was 37, traveling for work and then later for pleasure.
Little Bird said on August 22, 2010 at 4:43 pm
I have to wonder if there’s any correlation to what is pictured above and the teabagger’s party.
coozledad said on August 22, 2010 at 4:48 pm
The teabagger would have to ride under it on a dolly. That would be dangerous.
Jolene said on August 22, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Julie, your daughter may be doing the right thing by going to Europe despite not really having the resources, but she is pushing the limits of parental indulgence by asking for help w/ moving. The statute of limitations on helping kids move falls at the end of college or perhaps to a first apartment or grad school dorm, with later contributions available only if (1) at least one end of the move is in a city where you live and (2) you’re the sort of people who like doing that sort of thing. Lending a vehicle is also allowed, if convenient, as is spending a day or an evening helping to pack or unpack.
Aside from those conditions, one buys beer and pizza for friends who will help or hires local movers, whose rates are generally much lower than those of the national moving companies. Just say no! Or, perhaps, “You’re moving? Hope it goes well. Let us know if there’s anything you need for your new kitchen–potholders, dishtowels, whatever.”
Jolene said on August 22, 2010 at 5:06 pm
There’s a moderately interesting CNN documentary re the post-Katrina recovery of a New Orleans neighborhood called Park Pontchartain on CNN at 8 PM EDT tonight. It ran last night too, so I’ve seen it. The two features that make it worth noting are (1) Park Pontchartain was a middle-class, black neighborhood made up of proud, striving families, a NoLa perspective we don’t hear often, and (2) the hero of the story is Wendell Pierce, who grew up in the neighborhood and who loyal nn.c readers will recognize as Detective Bunk Moreland from The Wire and Antoine Batiste in Treme. Nice review of the doc by Dave Zurawik, Baltimore Sun TV critic here.
beb said on August 22, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Moe @8: The Pentagon would “Never” cook up fake criminal charges against the man who published thousands of pages of Pentagon documents showing how screwed we are in the Middle-east.
Bill @11: we had a Caravan many years back when our daughter was just born. We needed it to, to haul around the play pen, and high chair, baby food and diapers. Now that she’s 17 and potty trained we get by with a PT Cruiser. But your point about how easy it was getting in and out of the minivan (because the passenger seat was so much higher off the ground) I think was a big reason for the success of SUV’s.
Little Bird said on August 22, 2010 at 6:23 pm
@ Coozledad, I meant the tea-party! But to be fair, that was the connection I was making.
deb said on August 22, 2010 at 6:23 pm
moe and beb, soon as i saw the picture of the wikileaks guy, i thought, hmm, someone in dirty ops almost certainly said, “ooh, look, creepy! we can pin a sex crime on this one, piece of cake.” my 19-year-old, on hearing of the charges, immediately assumed this was payback. never even entered his mind that it might’ve been legit.
have i mentioned he’s thinking of moving to canada?
Julie Robinson said on August 22, 2010 at 6:54 pm
When we got home we agreed this was the last time we are moving a kid. I went up early partly to help with moral support but also to have a little fun time and getaway. She had friends that did all the heavy lifting and climbing up and down those stairs. We may be indulgent but this daughter has and will spend her life helping others and will always be poor as a result. So she gets a few more breaks from us and I am okay with that. I am also really happy to be home in the AC.
Bill said on August 22, 2010 at 7:40 pm
beb @ 26: Somehow the SUVs still seem too high for me. I can just lean into the passenger compartment of my T & C and slide onto the seat. Reverse the procedure for exiting. My son has a Honda Pilot and I have to “stretch” a bit to get into the driver’s seat. I do get a chuckle out of our kids’ disparaging comments about the van being a mom’s car or an old fart’s car, but it’s their vehicle of choice when there’s something or multiple someones to move.
Dexter said on August 22, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Me too. Minivans spoil ya for the ease of entering and exiting. It’s a bit of a strain to get used to getting in and out of any small car like a Focus or an old Escort. OK , we have covered the beloved minivan…oh Christ, I miss having a pickup truck! “They” say that once a man has a pickup truck and then he ain’t got one no more? He’s a sorry sad miserable discontented ill-begotten son-of-a- bitch. And “They” are right.
deb said on August 22, 2010 at 8:58 pm
dexter, this wisdom applies to women, too. i still miss the crappy old three-on-the-column ford truck i owned with hubby no. 1, and we’ve been divorced almost thirty years.
basset said on August 22, 2010 at 11:51 pm
Relatively few women appreciate a good ol’ truck. I am impressed.
Kim said on August 23, 2010 at 10:05 am
Very surprised to read the presumption that it’s a man’s van sporting the “TruckNutz,” which btw are banned in Va. Ironic, I know. I tried to avoid a van for years – considered myself an off-road girl with green tendencies in an on-road world, so went with a Jeep Cherokee. Stupid move with three kids and a big dog, and a decision that practically required me to squirt each car seat with Pam before loading ’em. I am on my second van and my only regret is that I didn’t get one sooner. Driving what Toyota now cleverly pitches as the swagger wagon helps, some.
nancy said on August 23, 2010 at 10:11 am
FWIW, I saw the owner get into the Odyssey before I pulled away: Male, 30s, Brooklyn-hipster type, two little kids. I think the Nutz were meant ironically.
By the way, close up? They were sort of gross, with an attempt at “texturizing” the surface. Ew.
brian stouder said on August 23, 2010 at 10:43 am
Even in the name of irony, I would never do that. The most ironic (or moronic) thing I’ve done in the past year was wearing one of my Obama tees to disgraced-former-member-of-congress Souder’s “town hall meeting”; and I was probably lucky to get out of there with all my bodily parts still attached to me (as opposed to being nailed to some random back bumper)
Aside from that, we love love love our minivan. I think when I’m old and retired, we’ll still have one, since they’re so pleasant to travel in
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