The other shoe has dropped, and it’s a precious little hand-crocheted bootie: Arnold Schwarzenegger has a 10-year-old child with a “household employee,” although you might prefer the Coozledad version: He got caught with his dick in the maid. How surprised am I by this? Not even one tiny bit; you don’t even have to pay slight attention to the gossip sheets to know the former governor of California was notorious for his wandering pee-pee. No, today I want to talk about something else: D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

I found this passage telling in the L.A. Times story:

Friends of Shriver, 55, (said) she had been unhappy for years but made no move until after her parents died and Schwarzenegger finished his term as governor. Her father, Sargent Shriver, died Jan. 18, nearly a year and a half after the death of her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

The Kennedys are America’s most famous Catholic family, and Catholics frown on divorce — or used to. Certainly they did in Eunice and Sargent’s generation, which might be the last one that did. Infidelity was no reason to break up a marriage, as virtually every Kennedy woman could tell you. It was something men did and women suffered in silence, thanking God that at least they were the wife and not the mistress. Because mistresses come and go. Wives, children, family — that was permanent.

Infidelity with a love child attached? That was one for the priest’s counsel, but maybe even Eunice would have yielded on that one. Because that has to be the deal in any marriage with an “understanding” at its heart: You better wrap up, dude. The fact he didn’t does more to call his judgment — on everything — into question than almost anything else. He’s 63, the kid is 10, which means all this happened to him at an age when he should have been well-past being swept away on a tide of hot blood. What an ahs-hole. As Arnold might say.

But back to divorce. Whether or not Maria knew about this child, she surely knew about the tomcatting. But she waited until her parents were gone, and then gave him the heave-ho. After Alan’s mother died, leaving both of us officially and entirely parent-less, someone told me that only now were we free to be entirely ourselves. (Alan took up skeet-shooting, if that means anything.) Maria chose to become a divorceé (or she will, presumably).

In my lifetime, divorce has gone from a social stigma — see Helen Bishop of “Mad Men” — to perfectly acceptable, and even preferable to staying together for the kids, at least if it means constant fighting. People only look at you askance after your second or third divorce, and maybe not even then. I know many Catholics who’ve divorced, had annulments, and remarried in the One True, one of those things that used to be a shameful secret and take years to get, complete with humiliating “testimony” about the most intimate details of your married life. Now it’s mainly a matter of filling out a lot of forms and writing a check. Never have I known a Catholic who’s pursued an annulment and failed to get one, not even after years of marriage and multiple children. (When my BFF asked for one, I noticed one of the questions I was asked as a witness was whether the couple in question used artificial birth control. I tried to make my answer as emphatic as possible, figuring this was the express lane to approval: “Of course they did.”)

Our new openness about the big D has brought with it one rather smelly side effect, however: Everybody now feels entitled to hear the details of yours, and offer opinions. I have a feeling that when the full story on Mr. and Mrs. Mitch Daniels is out there, it will be nothing big, just a rare female case of what used to be called pussy madness. (I ask you: If you had to wake up every morning and look at that guy on the next pillow, wouldn’t you say, “Oh, it’s you again” each and every day?) They got divorced, they married again. Happens all the time.

So, some fast bloggage:

My favorite single comment on all this came from an anonymous poster at New York magazine:

What is not being said that Arnie actually traveled back in time to impregnate this woman. Her child will be the savior of humanity and will have to fight his own father for the future of mankind.

A few weeks back, a beauty salon owner in Dearborn was shot to death in a robbery, in which the thieves stole only human hair extensions. Astoundingly, it’s a trend. NYT is on the story:

“They’re selling it to stylists who work out of their house, they’re selling it on the street, they’re selling it out of the car,” said Ms. Amosu of My Trendy Place. “People who don’t want to pay the prices will buy it from the hustle man. It’s like the bootleg DVDs and the fake purses. But this is a quality product.”

I always find the underground economy interesting. It’s pure id.

There is much to admire about French culture, which has given the world great cuisine, wonderful fashion and the fine art of whiling away hours in cafés. But this shit is disgusting. I couldn’t have less sympathy for the guy. Enjoy prison, monsieur.

Off to plod through Tuesday, under another iron-gray sky. Relent!

Posted at 10:33 am in Current events |

63 responses to “Splitsville.”

  1. Dave said on May 17, 2011 at 11:06 am

    At my high school reunion last summer was a woman who I’ve known since we were both six and in first grade. She got married right out of high school to her boyfriend, who she started going with at 15, they were both the same age and lived near one another. He wasn’t at the reunion and I asked her where her husband was. She told me that they’d gotten divorced about two years ago, that would have been after roughly 41 years of marriage. She said she knew it was a mistake when she did it, a mistake the next day, a mistake all her life. She waited for her parents to pass on and for her children to grow up and then waited some more.

    I thought it was the saddest story possible, living the majority of her life and being unhappy with her circumstances.

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  2. LAMary said on May 17, 2011 at 11:22 am

    I suspect we’ll hear from the household employee soon. I think it’s great that Arnold announced his intention to run for governor on Jay Leno and then got the Oprah love lavished on him. More proof that Jay Leno sucks and don’t trust anything Oprah endorses.

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  3. Candlepick said on May 17, 2011 at 11:25 am

    The classic joke: A decades-married couple in their 80s is seeing a divorce lawyer who is flabbergasted that they aren’t trying to reconcile.
    “I’ve always hated her,” he says.
    “I can’t wait to get rid of him,” she says.
    But, the lawyer asks, why didn’t you separate years ago?
    “We wanted to wait till the children were dead.”

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  4. Julie Robinson said on May 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Never understand I will this kind of man. Yoda version, because it makes as much sense to me as the science of Star Wars.

    When I was engaged I got a heartbreaking letter from my mother who said she knew her marriage was a mistake from the first day, but her mother had given her the old line about making your bed and having to sleep in it. (They were both barely 20 as was typical of the time.) Because of this she wanted to let me know I could always come home.

    After 32 years Dad left. Mom would never agree to a divorce and kept the news from her own dad for several years. He was a conservative German Lutheran and considered it a major failing. If she could have avoided telling him she would, so I get why Maria waited too, but what pain she has had.

    On a much happier relationship note, yesterday our son adopted a shelter cat. It came with the name Butterscotch but I’m guessing it will soon have the same name as every hamster he owned, Snuggles. He’s in love!

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  5. 4dbirds said on May 17, 2011 at 11:42 am

    I nearly spewed my soda all over the computer screen when I read ‘pussy madness’.

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  6. alice said on May 17, 2011 at 11:47 am

    I won’t believe the Arnold story until I see the Vanity Fair article. Break out the pearls & the man’s white shirt!

    One of the shopping channels features a line of knock off Jackie O jewelry. The presenter is a Kennedy employee, so I never hear the details I want: matching the gem with the indiscretion! Did Monroe = rubies or emeralds?

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  7. Jeff Borden said on May 17, 2011 at 11:59 am

    As disgusting as the behavior of Ahnuld is. . .and as Nancy notes, he has been a skirt chaser all his life. . .I’m struck again by the stupidity of failing to use a condom. Perhaps the household employee promised the big lug she was on the pill. . .maybe she was and messed up. . .but by 53 a man with a certain level of fame and a large bank account ought to weigh the possibilities of trouble and reach for a Trojan.

    I understand Arnie wants to return to the film business and revive the “Terminator” brand, but I wonder who, exactly, wants to see a baggy 63-year-old saving the universe. Is he going to wield a walker that shoots rockets?? He lacks the acting chops of other actions stars, notably Bruce Willis, who can do comedy and drama pretty well and is aging gracefully on screen. He will be a non-starter as any kind of a political figure because he’s way too liberal for Republicans, so he can’t cash in on Fox or the lecture tour like SheWho and Huckleberry.

    He may be hosting exercise equipment infomercials like Chuck Norris in the next few years.

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  8. Cara said on May 17, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    Thought Monroe said “Diamonds are a girl’s best friends.” Cannot envy any of these women. They continue to make the best of their lives, and maintain their households with grace.

    Maria is a survivor; it will be interesting to see what creativity rises from her circumstance.

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  9. moe99 said on May 17, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Ahnold is probably one of those guys, for whom a rubber feels like taking a shower with a raincoat on…..

    Anyway, I showed up at this blog several years ago because of plagiarism. Guess what? It’s still going on in the world, this time from a big shot climate change critic:


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  10. Peter said on May 17, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    I’m sorry to go off topic here, but I’ve been away for awhile…

    In the Tribune comments section was this little exchange regarding Trump’s decision not to run for president:

    “The good news is that Sarah Palin has the whole circus for herself”

    which was followed by

    “Lady, Sarah Palin IS the whole circus”

    Ba da boom!

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  11. paddyo' said on May 17, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    Hey, Jeff B., maybe Ahnuhld thought his steroid-shrunken ‘nads (“testicular atrophy,” in medi-speak) had run out of sperm bullets, like an empty ammo clip in one of his cinema shoot-’em-up weapons.

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  12. MarkH said on May 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Another OT —

    The Baseball world is a sadder place today:


    RIP, Harmon. I didn’t realize that the batter in the MLB logo is based on his silhouette.

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  13. Jolene said on May 17, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Nice article re Killebrew, MarkH, but what is a “tape-measure homerun”?

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  14. Jakash said on May 17, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    “What an ahs-hole.” Classic.

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  15. Joe Kobiela said on May 17, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    L.A. Mary,
    Didn’t Oprah endorse Obama?
    Pilot Joe

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  16. Dorothy said on May 17, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    Jolene I’m fairly certain a “tape-measure homerun” refers to one that is longer than the usual ones seen played, and therefore might need to be measured in order to see if it beat any records in that park. Standard homeruns in ball parks tend to hit in pretty regular spots – such as just over the outfield walls in the seats not far from the walls. If they go a lot further than that, the announcer might use that phrase to tell the listeners that it was a pretty darn long homer.

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  17. Bitter Scribe said on May 17, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    What keeps me from sheer pass-the-popcorn schadenfreude is the thought that there’s an innocent 10-year-old child out there who now has enormous psychological baggage. Nice going, Arnie.

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  18. Jolene said on May 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Not to mention the four Schwarzenegger children who also have to figure out how to feel about their mother and father and how to hold their heads up in public. Let’s hope they’re made of strong stuff.

    Thanks for the explanation, Dorothy.

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  19. LAMary said on May 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Indeed she did, Joe, demonstrating that the exception proves the rule. Just like the fact there are Republican politicians who are not hypocrites reinforces that there are so many who are.

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  20. Deborah said on May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    What was Shriver thinking when she married Arnold in the first place? And sure Arnold’s a pig but what about the staff member? Having a kid and then continuing to work there under Shriver’s nose? Does anyone know what this woman’s exact job was? maid, nanny, personal assistant?

    What gets into people like Strauss-Kahn? He must be nuts, or he has gotten away with it many times. There’s someone who’s likely to get raped in prison, if he doesn’t get off scott free.

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  21. Julie Robinson said on May 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Ahnuld says the pregnancy was “more than a decade ago”, and his youngest child with Shriver is 13. So. Ick.

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  22. basset said on May 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Jolene, Killebrew hit a ball once which broke a stadium seat five hundred feet away and eighty feet above the field. The ballpark stood where the Mall of America is now, in suburban Minneapolis; the former location of home plate is marked by a plaque in the floor, and a seat is mounted waaaaay up there to show where the ball landed.

    Totally off topic: I’m going to be in Auburn later this month, and Indianapolis a few days after that, staying on the northwest side. I understand from a breaded-pork-tenderloin-oriented website, one of several, that there are some places not too far from Auburn where I might get a better than average tenderloin; any recommendations?

    And, what’s a good place to eat in Indy? Haven’t spent any real time there for years, I see on the interwebs that Shapiro’s Deli is still going though.

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  23. Jean S said on May 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    Oprah’s magazine had a “Maria interviews Mary Oliver” feature recently. I was struck by the picture of the two women–Maria’s face looked so closed and, to me, frightened of the world, while Mary Oliver’s looked young, open and optimistic. Now we know why….

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  24. Catherine said on May 17, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Jeff B and Paddy, I think you are kind of missing the point about the condom. If you are going to cheat on your wife the least you can do is to avoid giving her AIDS. It’s not about not procreating, it’s having the teeny tiny bit of respect it takes to not expose her to every sexual partner your mistress has ever had.

    With Ahnuld and Strauss-Kahn, the power relationships are the key to understanding things. I heard a French journalist say that everyone knew he was a womanizer, that he’d had at least one confirmed enounter with a subordinate, but no one thought he could be a rapist. Arnold’s “household employee” was also a subordinate, and the women who’ve gone on the record about his groping etc were all people in a position to be economically affected if they turned him down. Here’s the thing: Coercion isn’t black or white, it’s a continuum. It’s a short step for Arnold to be in Strauss-Kahn’s shoes, and we all need to recognize it’s not about sex, it’s about power.

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  25. Jeff Borden said on May 17, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    Mayhaps the Sperminator should’ve emulated good, ol’ Newtie Gingrich. Politico is reporting that as recently as five years ago, Newtie owed a shitpot full of money to Tiffany. I wonder if he was buying off Callista’s silence with lovely baubles?

    See below and again ponder how these people can purport to stand for a superior morality:

    “Gingrich, who represented Georgia in Congress for two decades, retired in 1999. But his wife, Callista Gingrich, was employed by the House Agriculture Committee until 2007, according to public records. She listed a “revolving charge account” at Tiffany and Company in the liability section of her personal financial disclosure form for two consecutive years and indicated that it was her spouse’s debt. The liability was reported in the range of $250,001 to $500,000.”

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  26. alex said on May 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm


    Mad Anthony Brewing Company in Auburn has the best pork tenderloin bar none and everything else about it is exceptional as well. It’s my fave hangout.

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  27. nancy said on May 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    I read somewhere that Jackie Kennedy’s multiple miscarriages and late-term stillbirth were the result of some social disease Jack gave her — maybe chlamydia? It’s not a shower without a raincoat, it’s more like a stroll through a toxic-waste cloud without a hazmat suit on. (I suck at metaphors.)

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  28. Dorothy said on May 17, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    OH LAMary how I love you and your dead-on answers!

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  29. LAMary said on May 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    Jackie also could have had those problems because she was a smoker. I’m not defending JFK at all, but she was a smoker in that period.

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  30. Deborah said on May 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    “The sperminator”! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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  31. Jeff Borden said on May 17, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Meanwhile, another chapter in the annals of the limited government conservative movement. The creepy governor in Wisconsin, who wrung every concession possible from the state’s unions but still won’t be satisfied until he gets them to surrender collective bargaining, is now calling for changes to Wisconsin law that allow same-sex couples access to each other in hospitals.

    It is precisely this kind of cruel, petty, small-minded, mean-spirited bullshit that prevents me from ever. . .ever. . .taking the Republican Party seriously. Limited government? Sure. For Exxon-Mobil. For Archer Daniels Midland. For Pfizer. Gay people? Not so much.

    Thank God for the coming demographic tsunami that will swamp the angry old straight white male grievance party. It can’t come fast enough.

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  32. brian stouder said on May 17, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    metaphor for unprotected intimacy within a non-exclusive relationship:

    eating off the floor in a public restroom (at a truck-stop near I-80 and I-69, if you will)

    If I were Joe, and wanted to snipe a little, I would have immediately brought up Bill Clinton (and not Barry). I really, really detested WJC, back in the day…but we digress

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  33. coozledad said on May 17, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Hotel maids should probably avoid Ben Stein.

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  34. Jeff Borden said on May 17, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Ahh, Ben Stein, the Nixon worshipper who blamed Deep Throat for the fall of Vietnam because if Tricky Dick hadn’t been forced to resign, well, we would have won the war. On CBS Sunday Morning this week, he lamented the “Arab spring” because the move to democracy may well result in the election of leaders who are not as docile towards the U.S. and Israel as the dictators being tossed from office.

    Nothing this man says or writes would surprise me. He’s a loathesome jerk.

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  35. moe99 said on May 17, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Rush Limbaugh endorsed McCain, Joe. QED

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  36. coozledad said on May 17, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, a political ally of Schwarzenegger, introduced the Equal Right to Govern Amendment in July 2003, a few weeks before the actor declared his candidacy in the recall election in which Californians ousted Democrat Gray Davis as governor.
    If Hatch’s amendment is adopted, an immigrant who has been a naturalized citizen for 20 years could run for president or vice president.

    Schwarzenegger, 57, has been a U.S. citizen since 1983. He has retained Austrian citizenship.
    (Via Attaturk)

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  37. MichaelG said on May 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    I’m sure the maid will surface any day with Gloria Allred clutching her arm.

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  38. Julie Robinson said on May 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    To me, owing 1/4 to 1/2 million for anything (much less jewelry!) on a revolving charge (that is accruing interest!) automatically disqualifies Gingrich for the Presidency. As if I wasn’t creeped out enough by the other details of his personal life, that shows sheer stupidity. In our house we pay interest on nothing but the house. If we can’t afford it we don’t buy it. We learned that the hard way in our foolish youth, and it appears to me that Gingrich is still foolish in his dotage.

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  39. LAMary said on May 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Ben Stein does great eye drops commercials. I think that’s about it.

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  40. Peter said on May 17, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    Wow. That’s all I can say about Ben Stein. I mean, I would think that a guy who was in Ferris Bueller and star of the aptly named Win Ben Stein’s Money couldn’t be that big a douchebag, but I guess I’m wrong.

    Julie, I’m just convinced that a lot of politicians have absolutely no shame. I would think that anyone with an IQ higher than a single digit would have figured out that every little indiscretion is going to be exposed and that maybe, MAYBE they would think twice, but no.

    Mr. Walker just depresses me. Other than pleasing the rabid right wing nuts, what possible purpose is there in restricting partner access in hospitals? Are they afraid that a nurse is going to walk in on a compromising situation? Scared that the gays are going to bring in swatches to cheer the place up? Yeesh.

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  41. basset said on May 17, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Microbrew and good tenderloin? Pizza and veggie stuff for Mrs. B. and Jr.? Sounds perfect… thanks, Alex.

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  42. Connie said on May 17, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Basset, I recommend the unwraps and the pub chips. Actually I would recommend anything I’ve ever tried at Mad Anthony’s.

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  43. Linda said on May 17, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    Whatta douche Ben Stein is. PUTTING A HUMAN ON RIKER’S ON THE SAY SO OF ANOTHER PERSON! Because that’s NEVER happened before, instead of every day and twice on Sunday. Implies that she could have been lying, because some maids he’s encountered have been lying, crazy thieving bitches. Um, as opposed to other people who are exempt from that?

    “If he’s found guilty, there will be plenty of time to criticize him and imprison him,” Stein wrote. “But nothing has been proved yet except that the way this case has been handled so far is an embarrassment to this country.”
    Again, because he is treated about as well as an accused violent criminal is treated in this country, indeed, better than most? Suck a lemon, Ben. You make less sense every time you open your mouth.

    As for Walker, he doesn’t scrape the bottom of the barrel, he is the thing underneath. A petty little creep who uses his power to stick it to the powerless, and to suck up to the party’s unhinged haters, who comprise the GOP voter base. I would say shame on him, but his kind believes that shame is for chumps.

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  44. Jolene said on May 17, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Other than pleasing the rabid right wing nuts, what possible purpose is there in restricting partner access in hospitals?

    But isn’t that the purpose of lots of Republican politicking? Tim Pawlenty, who would like to be president, has said that he thinks the repeal of DADT, which was approved by a bipartisan majority in Congress and supported by a substantial majority of the voting public, was a mistake. Does he really think it’s wise to contradict the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, or does he just think there’s some white-haired people in Iowa who might like to hear this?

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  45. Dexter said on May 17, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Divorce is such a diverse option, driving some into despair and suicide, while liberating some to great life-heights, unburdened from a hating or hateful spouse. A gay cousin married, then quickly left his lovely wife for his true love, a man. The gay couple lives together yet, after 40 years.
    A relative of my wife’s ex married a strapping hunk of man who played college football. Ixnay to that really quickly. She and her lady partner just had twin girls and are happy as can be.
    I married a young woman who just wanted a notch on her belt, trying to keep up with her mom who had been married six times.
    I was number one. It lasted 30 months. She has had several more husbands by now.
    When I married the second time, a popular saying was “it’s always better the second time around.” There apparently is no traceable origin to that saying, it’s just popular, and now a Lady Gaga song.
    For me and my wife, it’s true, but then I knew a guy who was married nine freakin’ times. I guess what people do is their business.

    I knew Mr Killebrew had gone to the hospice stage. He lasted as long in hospice as my mom did seven years ago: not long at all.
    I grew up a total baseball nut case; I was obsessed with the game; I had favorite players. Ron Santo was my fave. He was the Cubs’ third baseman. I also was mainly a third baseman , so these guys were my heroes, all third basemen. Eddie Mathews of the Braves was another, Pete Ward, Jim Ray Hart, Clete Boyer, Max Alvis, Frank Malzone, Ron Cey were some of the others I followed in the 60s and 70s. There was even a local guy (Fort Wayne area) named Bruce Miller who starred for the great amateur team, W & W Gravel, who played a long while as the San Francisco Giants’ third sacker.
    None of these guys , except Mathews, could hit like Harmon Killebrew. I even took his home run total, 573, and used it for decades as a lottery number.
    Killebrew played way up north in Bloomington, Minnesota most of his career. When they televised, anyone could see farmers plowing and discing farm fields deep into the evening. It was sort of cool, I thought. It makes me feel a little better to remember seeing him play a few times in Chicago. He was a truly great baseball man, and from all accounts, just a great guy.
    (Right now, Mr Killebrew’s photo and some stats are on the New York Times page one, just under the masthead, center-page. He meant a lot to a lot of us. )

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  46. LAMary said on May 17, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Ron Cey! The Penguin! I ran into him in an Italian restaurant the very first week I was in LA. He was very gracious about being interrupted at his table.
    I always thought Clete Boyer was an excellent baseball player name. I also always thought Harmon Killebrew was a class act.

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  47. prospero said on May 17, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    I saw Harmon Killibrew play in the summer of ’69 when I got stranded by a Nortrhwest Air work stopppage in Minneapolis/St. Paul on my way to visit a girl in Rapid City SD. The airort was fairly comfy, and had coin-operated private cubicles with showers, which I had never seen before. That novelty wore off after about 24 hrs. The biggest problem was trying to sleep. No sooner doze off than be shaken awake by a Good Samaritan preventing me from missing my flight. I took a cab to the ballpark during day 2, to see a Twins game, with brats and beers at Met Stadium. Killebrew hit two HRs and Bobby Allison three. Fairly astounding offensive performance from the teammates that were rookies together, and a fearsome 1-2 HR punch. Apparently they remained best friends years after baseball. All in all, not a bad trip for all of being stranded nearly two whole days.

    Painful to own up to with the McCourts making the Schwarzeneggers seem neaarly functional, but born and bred Dodgers fan, and y’all are right about Ron Cey, a superb ballplayer, tough as nails. When the Dodgers broke up that ’80s infield, I was always surprised the Red Sox didn’t pick up Cey for the tail end of his career. He would have fared pretty well with that green wall in left field. Cey was a stump 5-10 and 185 or so. and, indeed, had the gate of a Penguin, but he hit 3116 Hrs, and had 10 seasons with more than 20, which is very impressive

    And all of this well-known business about Arnold and his gropings is still disconcerting for anyone who became aware of him first from Pumping Iron. His ostentateous flirting with the obviously gay judges was pretty damn convincing.

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  48. moe99 said on May 17, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Here’s something for Ben Stein:


    Not sure which is worse: DSK or the Sperminator.

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  49. Bitter Scribe said on May 17, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Back in 1988, Spy magazine ran an item to the effect that Stein, in addition to being a pretentious, tedious hypocrite, was notorious for horndogging underage girls. Maybe he looks at a rapist and thinks, “But for the grace of God…”

    If any of you whippersnappers who have never heard of Spy have the time, follow the link and enjoy. A lot of the humor is dated, but a lot isn’t.

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  50. Deborah said on May 17, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    I’ve checked in, in Detroit and so far so good. The hotel isn’t cheesy at all. It’s name is deceiving. It’s dark of course, but it doesn’t seem the least bit unseemly around here. Makes me wonder what all the fuss is about the decline of Detroit. I will, of course see it in the light of day tomorrow. But so far compared to St. Louis where I lived for many years, there’s not much difference, in fact it seems much better. Good night all.

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  51. Dexter said on May 17, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    Deborah! You got past the first line of aggression and are secure, congratulations. 🙂

    St. Louis used to carry warnings, too, yeah, I remember that. It was rough there, too.
    But you knew you were in deep doodoo when, as Tom Waits said,”…when you’re east of East Saint Louis…” Good old East St. Louis. A must to avoid.

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  52. Jolene said on May 17, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    From tomorrow’s NYT:

    One of the last public events Ms. Shriver and Mr. Schwarzenegger attended together was the funeral of her father, R. Sargent Shriver, who died in January. Some who attended said that the two were polite to each other but in no way warm; Ms. Shriver gave a heart-rending and pointed eulogy, as her husband looked on, praising her father for teaching her brothers how to properly treat women.


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  53. Dexter said on May 17, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    Kirk, you lurking? Have you ever seen a poorer defensive team than these woeful Chicago Cubs? I mean, yeah, the field was wet, but geez…they just gave this game to the Reds. Again, this year the Reds have been commanding my attention; I am watching every game. Man are they fun to watch. Outstanding managing by Dusty Baker and clutch performances all up and down the roster.

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  54. Bob (Not Greene) said on May 17, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    Prospero, has anything normal happened to you?

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  55. Little Bird said on May 17, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    I remember some of the jokes about East St. Louis. Such as, You know it’s spring when they break out the pastel colors for the chalk outlines.
    But that was East St. Louis. Which is a totally different place than St. Louis.

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  56. alex said on May 18, 2011 at 12:02 am

    I resigned from a professional organization after one of the invited speakers read a Ben Stein piece as part of a presentation. I found it quite offensive. It laid the blame for the mortgage crisis at the feet of “civil rights activists” forcing congress to force banks to make loans to unqualified borrowers. That was pretty much the tenor of the whole thing. “Blame the coloreds” for your 401K and your IRA and your house suddenly being worthless. The speaker was a financial advisor. God help anyone who’d trust one of those.

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  57. Dexter said on May 18, 2011 at 12:29 am

    alex: Many years ago Mike Royko was wondering what sort of advice he would get if he hit the lotto jackpot.
    Royko had left the Sun Times and was over at da Trib by this time.
    Royko, well connected of course, took some time and asked about a dozen of the mightiest bankers and tax attorneys and hedge fund operators and some other big time successes what they would do if they ever won cash like a lotto windfall.
    The responses were astounding, going off in all different directions, no theme connecting any pathways to success. It all seemed a crapshoot to Royko.
    I think Royko he said he would just buy T-bills and forget any non-conservative schemes.
    That wouldn’t work today,with the weakening of the debt ceiling looming, treasury-trusters will be burned.

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  58. prospero said on May 18, 2011 at 12:42 am

    Bob. Yeah, mostly. But I’ve had a real bizarre history with airlines. That trip was interesting for another reason. I actually am convinced to this day that N. Dakota actually exists as something other than a black hole at the Canadian border because the puddle-jumper that eventually got me to Rapid landed in Minot.

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  59. Jakash said on May 18, 2011 at 2:14 am

    That was a swell list of third basemen, Dexter, and I hesitate to question anyone who delighted me by including Max Alvis, but what about Brooks Robinson?

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  60. cosmo panzini said on May 18, 2011 at 5:28 am

    JeffB@31: The coming “demographic tsunami” will happen only if the members of that demo get off their lazy asses and vote, which they most ly did not do in 2010
    CDad@33:”Bizarre” defense of DSK? The presumption of innocence doesn’t seem to mean much to some folks, including a few at this site, proprietress included. Don’t know much about French politics, but this case smells like a put-up job, complete with various former “victims” already coming out of the woodwork claiming assaults that they somehow failed to report, oh, ten or twelve years ago.
    MikeG@37:Amen. Gloria Allred has taken over the spot Jesse Jackson once occupied, Advocate for Anything That Will Get My Name In The Papers.

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  61. alex said on May 18, 2011 at 7:01 am

    “The owl and the pussycat went to sea
    On a beautiful pea-green boat… .”

    Saw a video this morning that called to mind the old nursery rhyme above. These two critters are on land, though.

    On edit: And I see this morning that “Sperminator” has gone viral. (My apologies if this link wears out your allotment of NYT views for the month.)

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  62. Dexter said on May 18, 2011 at 8:28 am

    Jakash…my list was incomplete, as I could have gone back to Pittsburgh’s Pie Traynor and the Yankees’ Jumpin’ Joe Dugan, and on from there.
    But even on such an informal list, leaving the great Brooks Robinson off any list makes me look like a jakash..er, jackass!
    Thanks for mentioning the best of them all with the Wilson A2000 glove. Brooks was just the best. I saw him play for the first time in 1964, when he was a real terror with the bat, too. For a short number of years, he was a leading slugger in the American League. Thanks. Dad took us kids to the game via the B&O RR passenger train out of Garrett, Indiana. One of my best days.

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  63. prospero said on May 18, 2011 at 10:15 am

    Ben Stein is an obvious candidate for picture-next-to-definition-of-gaping-asshole, and I’m not making any attempt to defend the IMF rapist. But given that Sarkozy is turning out to have Berlusconi syndrome, and Strauss-Khan was about to kick his ass in elections, it’s not so entirely far-fetched that this affair could be manufactured. Anybody actually doubt Sarkozy is whack enough to pull something ike this. And if it turned out that way, wouldn’t Ben Stein be mortified about defending the Socialist against France’s version of Newt Gingrich?

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