Martinis on Mackinac.

Sometime early in the first cocktail hour — one of seemingly millions of cocktail opportunities last week — a gentleman of Anishinabe Indian heritage directed me to the far side of the shrimp station, where a vodka company had set up one of those ridiculous exercises in branding. You gotta see this, he said.

Three attractive servers stood behind a bar made entirely of perfectly clear ice, decorated with flowers and flanked by two large frozen vertical S’s. You gave your martini order to one, who shook it up and handed it to one of the flankers, who gave you a frosted glass, then climbed a stepstool and motioned for you to hold your glass under a spout at the bottom of the S. She then poured your drink into a funnel frozen into the ice, and it snaked through a tube and exited at the bottom, into your glass. Quite cold.

“That’s very clever,” I said. My new pal said he thought so, too. We talked some more and I said I didn’t want to keep him from networking and I’d see him around. I stepped out onto the 800-foot-long porch of the Grand Hotel to sip my cranberry Grey Goose martini, and thought about how this very island belonged to the Anishinabe, and not all that long ago. Then the world revolved around the sun a couple hundred times, and here we were, May 29, 2012, and I was just served a French vodka martini in the largest summer hotel in the world in the company of one of those folks, and he works for a high-end grocery store and I work for a think tank.

What a weird world it is.

I’ll have more to say about the conference; I’m still sorting it out in my head and on my desk. It was a pretty lavish affair and I met a lot of people and heard a lot. On the final day I was felled by a virus of undetermined lineage. I spent Friday and Saturday writhing in misery back home in my guest room, but seem to be on the mend now. I am at least cheery enough to have gotten a mighty chuckle out of the fact I spent most of the past week hearing that DETROIT IS BACK, BABY and today the city’s Grand Prix came thisclose to being called on account of a pothole.

In the meantime, my only bit of bloggage is this: What am I bid for this lovely portrait of Andrew Breitbart as a knight?

Have a great week.

Posted at 12:29 am in Detroit life, Same ol' same ol' |

69 responses to “Martinis on Mackinac.”

  1. Sherri said on June 4, 2012 at 1:13 am

    If only Thomas Kinkade had painted it…

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  2. Dexter said on June 4, 2012 at 1:45 am

    There has never been a better role model for start-up businesses than Tito Beveridge. His story is amazing; everyone kept telling him he had no chance, but he never gave up…and now Tito’s Vodka is a roaring success.

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  3. JWfromNJ said on June 4, 2012 at 2:58 am

    Dex – In my not-that-distant past vodka phase Tito’s was the very best. I liked his story and attitude, and his vodka was a great product at a fair price. You have to love people who don’t buy into the “you can’t do that,” spirit and just do it.

    Kind of like some of these space entrprenuers. I went from the goofing on how stupid Bigelow Aerospace is to being captivated by the quiet successes their inflatable space habitats have enjoyed. And Elon Musk and SpaceX are also the real deal. I watched the Falcon 9 carrying Dragon launch from my driveway 45 miles Southeast and was screaming, “go baby go!” at 4:40 in the morning. Sure he’s spent a lot of his own money, and a small chunk of NASA funds too, but if someone told me five years ago the first American craft to be berthed at the space station in the post-shuttle era would be built by the guy from Paypal I wouldn’t have believed them.

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  4. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 4, 2012 at 7:18 am

    Michilimackinac means, in Anishinabe, “great turtle”; that turtle shell shaped island is where the not quite fully formed earth was set by the Creator on the back of a great turtle who offered to let Grandfather set it down so he could work on some other things, like these “people” he had in mind. Michilmackinac kept swimming around the sun as the dish of earth settled into place on his back, with the peak of his shell poking through the center of the vast platter of soil and water, and First Man & First Woman were set on that island so Grandfather could teach them all they needed to know to live.

    So you were in the Garden of Eden, as it were. Sorry about the rotavirus; even the Grand Hotel isn’t immune from that scourge of mass gatherings. Back in those early times, Fox grabbed Grandmother Moon’s leather bag full of all the little creations that still didn’t have a plan completed for how they would work in harmony with the rest of the world, and shook it in his teeth until it spilled open, letting storms, and disease, and mosquitos, and British shopkeepers (hey, this is the version I was told) out into the world. Fox ran away and tried to deny it, but it was too much to gather up and put back; Creator wasn’t ready to melt this world down and start over again, but took pity on all the suffering and sorrow The People/Anishinabe were going through, for long, long years, and so he gave The People two last gifts. He gave them the Midewiwin Society to share healing with The People, and when the healing songs and prayers no longer works, he gave the gift of death, so that their trials would not go on forever, and they could join Grandmother Moon in the Great Dance.

    And so it has been, ever since.

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  5. Deborah said on June 4, 2012 at 7:35 am

    nicely told Jeff(tmmo)

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  6. alex said on June 4, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Pretty amazing painting. Breitbart died at 42 looking 62 and he’s being memorialized as 22.

    The American Psychological Association finally figured out in 1972 that homosexuality isn’t an illness. When will they get their shit together and declare Republicanism a delusional state with psychotic features?

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  7. coozledad said on June 4, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Breitbart in armor = ethanol fueled minivan.

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  8. beb said on June 4, 2012 at 8:37 am

    A couple weeks before the race I was on Belle Isle on work related business and saw a work-gang chopping away the overgrowth that had buried what used to be the Belle Isle Zoo. It was a lovely little zoo and I was sorry to see it close for budget reasons and wish it would reopen, though to refurbish the abandoned structures would be quite expensive (lot of wood walkways to replace). Meanwhile friends of the Belle Isle Aquarium had been investing hundreds of hours to clean up and restock the abandoned aquarium, only to have someone break in and pour bleach into all the tanks killing the fish and probably poisoning the tanks. I have no idea who would do such a thing but it makes one despair for the city.

    And a hurray to JWfromNJ for being able to watch the SpaceX rocket take off. I confess I’m a bit surprised because I assumed from his handle that it was rather farther away from Cape Canaveral than 45 miles.

    And a great retelling of the creation story by Jeff. It’s strange to think of death as one of two gifts from the gods, at least not until you’re old enough to see your loved ones suffering from the endless ailments of old age. I’m reminded of this whenever I read where science may be able to keep us alive for 150 years. I wouldn’t mind that if my age were frozen as a thirty-year old. But if I have to spend another 75 years as a 75 year-old, I think I’ll pass.

    And alex, Republicans aren’t delusionally psychotic, they are movement conservatives, like the Bolsheviks in Russia, the Nazi’s in Germany or the4 Fascists of Italy. They are out to take over the country and feel free to lie, cheat or steal to get their way. If they were simply delusional we could hope to outlive them, but as a conspiracy they need to be stomped out with the ruthlessness that a golf course shows towards dandelions.

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  9. nancy said on June 4, 2012 at 8:41 am

    Beb, the aquarium-vandalism story was walked back Saturday night. Turns out it was a simple fish die-off and a volunteer leapt to a conclusion.

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  10. brian stouder said on June 4, 2012 at 9:00 am

    Grant and I watched the Belle Isle race on TV, and it came across pretty well, I thought.

    The pavement issue is one of those things, like rain delays, that can happen to a live event. And indeed, as the Detroit News article mentioned, Roger Penske came across as unflappable, much like his city; and he correctly reminded folks that the same sort of contingency arose at the Daytona Speedway a season or two ago.

    Mind you, Daytona is a purpose-built super speedway that exists for one reason only, and that’s supporting multiple pieces of very fast machinery as they hurtle around it, and it began coming up in chunks until they had to red flag their race….and we’re not even mentioning the more recent incident where a NASCAR car smashed into one of those jet-dryer trucks at Daytona, breaching its fuel tank and spewing fire all over the place, which also raised hell on the pavement.

    The Indycar boys and the Belle Isle organizers put on a good show, I say.

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  11. beb said on June 4, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Nancy, that’s good to know. I’, sadden that all the fish died but glad that it wasn’t vandalism.

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  12. Peter said on June 4, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Thanks a lot for that portrait link, Nancy. It’s going to take a lot of meds to get that image out of my brain.

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  13. MichaelG said on June 4, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Indeed, Brian. Franchitti’s two brilliant restarts at the end lifting him from sixth to second were fun to watch and I’m never sad to see Scott Dixon win.

    Softball not so much as the vaunted Pac-12 contingent led by Cal stumbled and bumbled their way out of the tourney. Tonight is the final between Oklahoma and Alabama. It’s gonna be a great game. A good friend of mine has a daughter who plays for Oklahoma. He’s there now. I guess I’ll root for them.

    I can’t get that link to the Breitbart portrait. Management has the site blocked. Also when one clicks on a blocked site the system tattles. There are more and more blocked sites all the time. It’s getting to the point where I am not going to click on anybody’s links any more.

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  14. basset said on June 4, 2012 at 11:20 am

    It’s not a “Grand Prix,” they just call it one. MIS would indeed be a lot better venue, at least for the race rather than the spectacle.

    And they’re at the Milwaukee Mile next… I have driven around that one quite a few times, much slower and in a rental van but the pavement seemed just fine.

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  15. MaryRC said on June 4, 2012 at 11:21 am

    At least the poster that was circulated after Breitbart’s death looked like him, stubbly jowls and all. This painting looks like Lord Farquaad from Shrek.

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  16. Hattie said on June 4, 2012 at 11:21 am

    Wow. There are so many roads to hell. Hope you are feeling better, but take it easy. You don’t want to suffer a relapse.

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  17. Scout said on June 4, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Mary RC – that’s it! I couldn’t figure out why Ye Olde Ghost Andrew with the t-rex arms looked so familiar, but you nailed it.

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  18. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Did anybody ever see Breitbart and Vigo the Carpathian in the same room together?

    Shocking developments aside, what I loved about Mad Men last night is the final montage scene with one of my favorite songs of all time, the gorgeous Butchie’s Tune by Lovin’ Spoonful, with stunning guitar by the great Zally Yanofsky, an astounding song most people have never heard:

    I went to the packy for supplies a few months ago and there was a Tito’s free sample table, manned (not really) by two buxom bikini babes. Certainly heightened the subsequent grocery shopping experience.

    Does anybody recall that martinis are actually ice cold gin with a whiff of dry vermouth? I believe Bloody Mary’s were originally made with juniper juice, too.

    Sherri@1, Coulda fooled me. Sure has that anti-Rembrandt feel to it.

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  19. Connie said on June 4, 2012 at 11:50 am

    So my friends spent a couple of days at the Grand Hotel at the beginning of the month. She posted a picture of little girls dancing to the dinner music and well, the band just looked pathetic. Kind of sad and worn out feel. But that was just a picture. So Nancy, tell me the place is grander inside than my impression from that sad picture.

    In other news I am car shopping. American made, good mileage. Got any recommendations? Want to buy a 96 Mazda B300 pickup with an unfixable oil leak? The stereo system is worth more than the rest of the truck. Looks like the 03 Dodge Grand Caravan is about to become the family pickup truck. Hubby transported a motorcycle in it a few weeks ago. Today he is driving it (motorcycle) to Traverse City where our daughter, its owner, has the world’s greatest summer job. He has a ride to Flint on Wednesday to get almost home.

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  20. nancy said on June 4, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Hard to say re: the ultimate grandness of the Grand. I did see a few worn cushions and some upholstery that needed some serious freshening, but honestly, my track through the place was: Porch>patio>lobby>theater and reversed, with some side trips to the media center, etc. The guest rooms, main restaurant and the rest of it were pretty much terra incognita.

    I will say this: To a person, and I mean from the concierge down to the busboys, the staff was friendly, smiling and helpful. Stop somewhere and look a little puzzled? Within 30 seconds, someone was at your elbow offering assistance.

    My more modest hotel down on the main drag had a channel that played “Somewhere in Time” on a loop, 24-7. At the Grand, a DVD is included as a party favor for everyone who checks in.

    Oh, and Prospero, good to know there was one other person in this great country who recognized that Spoonful tune on “Mad Men.” I couldn’t name the title, but I remember it well.

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  21. JWfromNJ said on June 4, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    Connie – thats too broad a catagory. Depends on what you want to spend, the size, when you say American made do you mean American brand too..

    Take this with a grain of salt because I drive a low mileage Mercury Sable, but if I was shopping in the market you defined I’d be looking at-

    The new Dodge Dart – Alfa Romeo underpinnings, available with that great eco-air motor that powered Nance & Allen’s Fiat 500 Abarth. Nothing but rave reviews from my car mags

    The new Ford Focus – Ford is impressive lately and this car can deliver great MPG’s, serves as a mobile hotspot, and is fun to drive. Well all my pics fall into the fun to drive category.

    The VW Passat – Made in america and designed for the American market. It’s helped put VW near the top in sales, and it’s roomy, fuel efficient, solid, and affordable.

    Hyundai Sonata built in Alabama – Hyundai has improved by leaps and bounds since the crappy econoboxes of the late 80’s hit our shores. The Hyundai Sonata turbo or hybrid offer different takes on the same recipe – pavement peeling fun to drive, or 40 mpg+ mileage, with great crash ratings and warranty support

    Finally the one not built here – the Suzuki Kizashi, just every car magazine drools over the fun to drive aspects, it’s built like a tank, and suzuki cars are underrated and under priced. This is on my lust list, and can be had in an AWD model with leather and lots of cool toys for a great price.

    Let us know what you buy…

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  22. Dan B said on June 4, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    Rana and I just got back from a trip north, too- a week in Leland. We finally got beautiful weather on the day we left, but the cold and windy days were at least good for keeping the mosquitoes down when we were doing woods hiking.

    This was the earliest we’ve been up there, which meant that one of the glories of the place-the best fresh fruit I have ever had in this country- wasn’t yet available, just rhubarb (made a pie) and asparagus (Rana declared that after about four nights of it, she was sated with the stuff for the year). I’m worried for the growers, though; it seems that a combination of damaging winter storms, late frosts and a disease may have done in the cherry crop this year.

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  23. Charlotte said on June 4, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Connie — my girlfriend bought the diesel Passat wagon, and can’t say enough good things about it. I love my Subaru, but the mileage isn’t great (they won’t let you turn off the 4WD anymore), and the seats are horribly uncomfortable for any drive over an hour. On the other hand, it climbs up into oddball Forest Service roads really well …

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  24. EllenT said on June 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    I second the Passat sedan. We’ve had 4 in 9 years (husband’s head is easily turned by new car smell and shiny new features). We took a cross-country roadtrip with three kids in the backseat last summer and no one complained. Never any mechanical issues. He just got a new diesel Passat for the gas mileage. The Passats are made in chattanooga.

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  25. Bitter Scribe said on June 4, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    For some reason that Breitbart thing made me think of this oil portrait of one of my uncles (by marriage) that his widow had painted after he kicked. This uncle was the biggest asshole in my family, by far. He was this little pear-shaped putz, and the portrait painter (who was working from a photo, of course) gave him the shoulders of a linebacker. My sister and I would crack up every time we saw it at my aunt’s house.

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  26. Julie Robinson said on June 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Connie, I don’t know any unhappy Prius owners, and I think it’s made here now. Friends say it can hold a lot of cargo.

    Off-topic but I wanted to share something strange from the weekend. We attended a concert of the Brahms Ein Deutsches Requiem, and at the end of the sixth movement (it has seven) a man several rows behind us shouted “jawohl!”. Putting aside the obvious breaking of the don’t-clap-until-the-whole-piece-is-over rule, I found it deeply disturbing. I think it’s supposed to mean “yes indeed”, but the intonation was such that you could infer mein fuhrer as the second half of the phrase. A wave of unease rippled through the audience, and I found myself thinking about that instead of the music. I was picturing this guy in the Nazi salute. Truly creepy.

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  27. Connie said on June 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Yes JW, American brand too. My husband is from Flint. My car business brother also rec’d the Ford Focus. So far I am thinking that or the Chevy Cruse. Or that I may not be able to go back to a smaller car after years with a mini-van.

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  28. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Julie, that boorish buffoon was obviously disoriented and thought he was listening to Wagner. (edit): Or maybe this:

    Nancy, I absolutely love that song. Used to play it in a HS band. Everyone thinks of LS as John Sebastian’s band, but it was Zalman Yanofsky that was the musical star. A great guitar player. Aching tonal clarity and clean picking. Like Nashville Cats:

    Nashville Cats, play clean as country water
    Nashville Cats, play wild as mountain dew

    I had to get out a guitar and relearn the song as soon as I’d heard it.

    Speaking of cars, did anybody else find it humorous when Lane Pryce couldn’t start the Jag-you-ar?

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  29. Joe K said on June 4, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Bought my wife a 2012 Ford Focus, 5 door hatchback and we absolutely love it. Have seen as high as 46 mpg we usually get around 35, comfortable, sporty, quiet, and built in Michigan.
    and Beb @ 8 People on this board know I’m a conservative republican, and I have taken a bit of abuse, but don’t you dare compare me to the Nazi’s, Bolsheviks, or Fascist. Totally uncalled for, stop painting with so wide a brush
    Pilot Joe

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  30. mark said on June 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm


    This would be a partcularly poor place to look for advice for American cars. People here like them only in theory and for other people.

    And Joe, quit being so sensitive. Beb merely thinks we should be eradicated like weeds from a golf course green. Sort of a progressive “final solution” for Republicans/Nazis, though I doubt beb would see the irony.

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  31. James said on June 4, 2012 at 1:44 pm


    She was talking about the Republican party, as it exists today, not some rosy image either you or I might have of them, in the past.

    They used to be a respectable alternative to the Democrats, at least in terms of being worth considering their viewpoint, but nowadays they are precisely as inflexible and crazy as fascists or any other crazies you might cite.

    The question is: do you recognize their insanity, and reject it, or do you join in with it?

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  32. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Ten years ago today Pretzeldent Shrub W. Bush said the CIA and FBI had failed to communicate adequately before the Sept. 11 terror attacks. The little cokehead twat didn’t mention the infamous Presidential Daily Brief he got days before the WTC attack, about flying planes into buildings:

    This would be a partcularly poor place to look for advice for American cars. People here like them only in theory and for other people.

    Simultaneous translation, please? But, you know, Mark, at least there still are American car makers, thanks to the wisdom of Willard RMoney, right?

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  33. brian stouder said on June 4, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Before this becomes a full-fledged kerfluffle, let me just say that – as a non-participant in the madness for Madmen (never saw a single second of that show, unless a sidelong glance at one of their commercials counts), I got a real kick out of the image of our proprietress working the room with a martini in hand, and keeping any number of wannabe ‘new pals’ at arm’s length!

    Very ’60’s, indeed!

    Oh, and one more thing about the gathering kefluffle-storm clouds (little aviation lingo there, for Joe); Joe’s right, this time, I think.

    edit: and on the subject of American cars, our family has a 1998 Olds 88, and an ’03 Dodge Caravan. If I could buy a new thing right now, it would almost surely be a Ford; or, if money were no object, a Chevy Volt.

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  34. Dan B said on June 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Julie-That is very strange. The Brahms requiem is beautiful and the only requiem that I would ever want to listen to if I was genuinely in mourning. That sounds like it would really destroy the mood.

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  35. Julie Robinson said on June 4, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Hmm, I just added up the cars I’ve owned since I started driving back in 1972. Six were domestic labels and the other two were Toyotas made right here in the USA.

    Edit: Dan, it did, at least for me. Instead of a glorious conclusion, I was waiting for the other jawohl to drop.

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  36. Dorothy said on June 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Note to James: beb is not a “she” – at least I’m about 99% sure that he is a He.

    I have a new Chevy Equinox of which I am enamored. Never ordered a car before with all the things we wanted to have in it. It’s tremendously fun to drive and luxurious sitting in leather seats. I never thought I’d say this but I’m looking forward to the winter weather so I can take advantage of the heated seats. Hot crossed buns indeed!

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  37. coozledad said on June 4, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Nah. I wouldn’t lump Joe in with the rest of his party. he’s probably never been a member of the Nazi Party, like this guy from PA:
    And he’s probably never called for throwing acid in female Democratic senator’s faces. That’s for the actual elected officials and their staffers.
    EDIT: We’ve always bought American cars, except for the Subaru mail delivery vehicle we bought in ’98. It was made in Indiana, which counts for something.
    Mark’s snide remark about American made products reminds me just how much the Republicans want to see this country fail.

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  38. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    If the GOPers are a benign bunch of patriots, how does one explain their promotion of candidates like the great Medicare crook Rick Scott and his bogus attack on legal registered FLA voters that represent a demographic not conducive to GOP voting?

    Vote fraud in the USA is so infinitessimal, so close to non-existent, quantifying its existence requires three or four places to the right side of a decimal point. Can anyone explain how the great GOPer Vote Fraud Inquisition is anything but a transparent component of an odious strategy to win elections by suppressing opponent’s votes? By which I mean, outright cheating like a bastard? The one authentic case of vote fraud turned up in ages was perpetrated by James O’Keefe in the GOP NH presidential primary. Shrub’s justice department spent millions trying to ferret out vote fraud and prosecuted exactly 86 cases, most of which involving people that had no idea they had broken the law. This whole strategy is not exactly what I’d call good citizenship, and it seems rooted in paranoia. Unlike other favorite suppression strategies, like refusing to allow photo student IDs for polling place identification, and cruder shit like closing polling places, this voter roll purging costs taxpayers a lot of money, to nobody’s benefit but crooked GOPers. Wonder how them Teabangers like that.

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  39. Connie said on June 4, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    So Brian, Butler bulldog Blue II posted this on his facebook page today: Any of you Ft. Wayne area Bulldogs see me and Butler Blue III in the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette on Saturday regarding our visit to Lutheran Hospital? And because you posted it here I could say YES!

    Along with Dorothy I am also pretty sure beb is a HE. I also think he is connected to crazycatlady who I think is HIS HER.

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  40. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Our friends the corvids:

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  41. beb said on June 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    Some days I doubt my own existence but on the days that I don’t I’m very sure I’m a man. If fact Brian Stouder and I have two things in common. We’re both named Brian and we both admire the female anatomy. And Crazycatlady is my wife of 32 years.

    Pilot Joe, there are conservatives in this country and there are Republicans. There ain’t the same thing anymore. The Republican party of Karl Roves, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdock, Grover Norquest, the Koch brothers, etc. are out to take over this country, to create a perpetual Republican administration and dismember nearly all parts of the government. Grover Norquest is quoted as once saying he wanted to shrink the size of government to where it could be drowned in a bathtub. He’s almost there. I don’t think ill of you. I enjoy your comments about flying. You’re is an interesting and varied life. But the party you hold allegence to is not the party it used to be. It’s not a party that would find Ronald Reagan too liberal, Richard Nixon too law-abiding, and George W. Bush too intelligent. I don’t think it’s the party you think it is anymore.

    And while there is a certain amount of irony in suggestion that Democrats need to stomp out the Republicanism we see today, it’s like those arguments that we should be tolerant of opinions that are intolerant of our opinions. When one party appears to be working to make America fail, it’s time to call for their destruction, before they destroy the whole country.

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  42. adrianne said on June 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    BTW, Cooz, Mr. “Acid in the face” resigned today as campaign spokesman for the Tea Party Congresswoman Nan Hayworth, who now reps all of Orange County, N.Y. After making some faint “I know you are, but what am I” defense of Mr. Acid, Hayworth’s campaign threw him overboard but quick.

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  43. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Evidence that the President is cooler than most politicians:

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  44. Peter said on June 4, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Mr. “Acid in the face”? I need a translation on that one.

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  45. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    The Republican party of Karl Roves, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdock, Grover Norquest, the Koch brothers, etc.

    And do not forget D. Trump, the personal bankruptcy king at the center of the omphaloscopic, onanist GOP. These tools may claim to be “conservatives”, but their sole economic policy suggestion is a full-on dive back into the depth of Shrub’s profligate spending and tax-cutting. That’s not movement conservatism, nor is it big C Conservative by a remote stretch of any sane definition of the term. Teabangers and their current herd of subservient automatons like RMoney would be ridiculed, no excoriated, by somebody like William F. Buckley, and have recently been characterized by exasperated George Will as “bloviating ignorami”. They are all Bozos on that bus, but they are not benign. More like Killer Klowns:

    It hurts when an obviously good-hearted and sensible person like Pilot Joe stands up for these anti-American bastards. Like this scummy POS:

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  46. James said on June 4, 2012 at 5:04 pm


    Sorry to assume your gender, or impugn your manliness. Just a brainfart on my part.


    Yes! That’s what bugs me… when someone like Pilot Joe, who I admittedly only know from his posts here, but who seems like a reasonable gentleman, buys into that neoCon/Republican nonsense.

    I’m just waiting for anyone of moral fortitude to stand up and say “What the fuck are you doing to my Republican Party. I don’t agree with this nonsense!!”

    I’m not holding my breath.

    (in truth I think I have a soft spot for Pilot Joe because I believe him to be Polish, and I’m half Polish. I see him as some reflection of my departed uncles…)

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  47. James said on June 4, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Let me be clear, not only are the Republicans not what they used to be, neither are the Democrats. They’re a powerless, voiceless, ball-less group of friggin’ triangulators.

    I only wish they were real socialists. Then I could vote for them without holding my nose.

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  48. Linda said on June 4, 2012 at 5:30 pm

    Peter: What Adrienne is refering to is an aide of Nan Hayworth, who suggested that we “throw acid in the face” of Democratic women, I guess, for causing trouble. Along with Jonah Goldberg’s call to beat up the young and disenfranchise them for not voting the same way he does, I wonder what has made conservatives this angry. Really, are they this thin-skinned?

    I like my Ford Focus, but am sorry I didn’t hold out till 2012, when they got bombdelicious. Bet you love yours!


    “This would be a partcularly poor place to look for advice for American cars. People here like them only in theory and for other people.”


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  49. adrianne said on June 4, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    Here’s the story on “Mr. Acid”: Rep. Nan Hayworth’s campaign spokesman has quit after setting off a storm of outrage with a remark on Facebook about hurling acid at women senators.
    “Jay Townsend has offered, and I have accepted, his resignation from his position with my campaign,” Hayworth, a Mount Kisco Republican, said in a short statement released Monday by her campaign. “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, spending restraint and economic development.”
    Townsend, a political consultant from Cornwall-on-Hudson, made the comment more than a week ago while arguing with Hayworth critics on a Facebook page called “NY19 U.S. House of Representatives Civil Discussion Center.” Accusing Democrats of hypocrisy, Townsend wrote, “Let’s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators who won’t abide the mandates they want to impose on the private sector.”
    The campaign of Richard Becker, one of five Democrats hoping to challenge Hayworth for her seat this year, found the statement and publicized it last week, ripping Townsend for the violent imagery and Hayworth for not firing him. That set off a wave of outrage and news coverage.

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  50. Bitter Scribe said on June 4, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    I would dearly love to see Jonah Goldberg try to beat up an 18-year-old. Or just about anyone else.

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  51. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Jonah vs. Lucianne on pay-per-view. Jay Townsend ran for the Senate against Schumer and got his cowardly ass kicked by 18%age points.

    As for Hayworth, and her “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, spending restraint and economic development.” I’m sure she meant to add “and fair pay for female breadwinners”. Anybody with Shrub’s economic performance in their party background, a rational person would expect they’d avoid the term “job creation” like a hantovirus carrying rattus Norvegicus named Ben, or Willard. With regard to Jonah Goldberg and fisticuffs, guess who Buckley challenged to a fight:

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  52. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    You formula 1 guys, Dario Franchitti is a guest on Letterman tonight.

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  53. Scout said on June 4, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    >As for Hayworth, and her “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, spending restraint and economic development.”<

    Funny how The R folks running for office constantly try to steer any and all uncomfortable questions back to the issue of jobs, insist they are all about creating jobs, scream and cry about how terrible Obama has been for job creation… and yet, once actually elected all they want to do is sit in session and try to pass laws about ladyparts and steroids. Anybody else ever notice this?

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  54. coozledad said on June 4, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    Jonah wants to be regarded as an intellectual, and sup at college dinner parties. Ever since the LA Times shat out a job for him, he thinks that’s the way the whole world works.
    I don’t even think Pepperdine would have him. I can see him teaching a community college course, say, “Managing Your Collection of Star Wars Miniatures” or “Making Root Beer at Home”, but never a real college. The otherwise taciturn professor of Romance languages would always be waiting for him near his office in the morning, to break his foot off in Jonah’s ass, anyway.

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  55. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    Hard facts about “job creation” and party affiliation:

    GOPers truly believe they must destroy the village to save it from the Socialist Kenyan anti-colonial Manchurian President (aka, the black guy). That’s all they’ve got, there ain’t no more. That’s the sort of stunted shithead thinking you get from true believers.

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  56. Joe K said on June 4, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Dario is Indy not f1
    Pilot Joe

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  57. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    Joe, I don’t really know the difference. Well, I do know that F1 drivers don’t just continue turning in one direction for mile after mile, making for more interesting races.

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  58. ROGirl said on June 4, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Mark, come on. Liberals don’t buy American cars? I guess I betrayed my political beliefs when I bought my Malibu.

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  59. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Only car I own is a ’69 Cougar convertible, with a red and black UGA Bulldogs color scheme, a big ass engine that guzzles gas, and leather seats. Don’t get much more Murrican than that. Guess I’m a closet GOPer.

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  60. MarkH said on June 4, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    Nance, do I have posts in moderation? Only added one link….

    Pick the second one if you can.

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  61. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    Richard Dawson’s greatest hit. Drug-drenched. Way strange.

    Sex ed in Tejas. Don’t mess with Texas. Don’t need no federal sex ed money, or money for contraception.

    Still, if you didn’t know better, you’d think there was a concerted effort going on in Texas to increase the number of children being born to teen parents. The state is also one of the most restrictive in the country when it comes to teen access to birth control. Even if a teenage girl has already given birth, she can’t get state-funded contraception services without a parent’s consent. In 2012, family-planning providers in Texas—a state with nearly five and a half million women of reproductive age—were receiving less than $13 million in government aid. One inevitable result is a huge number of poor women giving birth. Texas has the second-highest birth rate in the country after Utah, and nearly 60 percent of the women giving birth are low-income enough to qualify for Medicaid.

    Now we’re getting into the national impact of the way Texas handles sex ed. Medicaid is a federal program, and more than half of that billion-dollar bill is paid by federal taxpayers. Happy to be of help—but don’t the rest of us have a right to demand that Texas at least make sure poor women who don’t want to be pregnant have easy access to federally funded contraception?

    Ignorant crackerjackasses. What would be the great loss should Texas secede, as Perry would like? The Cowboys, Colombia’s Team?

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  62. Joe K said on June 4, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Indy runs mostly road courses, and actually pass. 16 indy races this year, 11 road courses.
    Pilot Joe

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  63. Suzanne said on June 4, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Julie, I wanted to hear Brahm’s Requiem because it is divine, but I ended up going to a recital of someone I knew. Sorry to hear that somebody ruined it for you and I’m sure others. The local Bach Collegium did the piece a few years ago at a church and honestly, I felt like I was in heaven.

    As for the GOP, yes, they have left me behind. I don’t think I’ve ever voted for a Democratic president until last election, but I could not bring myself to vote for $Palin. In all honesty, though, I don’t think it matters who I vote for; multinational corporations own this country and quite a few others. We all bow to them and they are severe taskmasters. They own most world governments, not the other way around. Gawd! I’m starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist! Soon, I’ll believe in the Rothschild banking cabal and think that the Bilderbergers run the world. Better get more wine…

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  64. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 4, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    For any astronomy geeks out there, an opportunity for most of you tomorrow if you have some kind of proper filter or lens . . . and the last chance for another 111 years: starts just after 6 pm ET in most of Ohio (adjust accordingly). It ends after sunset for most of the US. I have the pleasure of being quoted in this article, but in fact I will have five pairs to loan out here in Granville atop our local vantage point/ancient effigy mound.

    Julie, I think in that context it has the same meaning as a fervently spoken “Amen!” at the end of an inspiring musical offering. He probably shouldn’t have, but it just sounds like you had an ethnically German evangelical amongst you.

    I’m not finding the reference to where Jonah Goldberg called for the beating up of teens. Citation, please?

    UPDATE: Oh, a Daily Caller interview. Yeah, right.

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  65. Prospero said on June 4, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    Jeff: According to Thomas Pynchon, the Transit of Venus was the occasion of the first surveying collaboration between Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon.

    Lord knows if it’s true, or another of Pynchon’s tricks on the less well educated.

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  66. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on June 4, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    Prospero, that was a cool book. Captain Cook fits into that story, too.

    Anyhow, important info for everyone here, no matter what their political preference:

    Look for hair and capillaries, okay?

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  67. Brandon said on June 5, 2012 at 12:19 am

    “a community college … but never a real college.”

    @Coozledad: I know where you’re coming from, but some years after graduating from a four-year college, I enrolled at a community college to study digital media arts. More rigorous than one would think. The community college I studied at has renowned Hawaiian studies and sociology professors.

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  68. coozledad said on June 5, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Brandon: I’m just ragging on them for humorous purposes. Fact is, any liberal arts college that has a business school has to dumb down so sharply they’re reduced to offering a high school equivalency. Duke’s Fuqua School, for example, is a layover for the slow children of the privileged. My wife gets the alumni magazine, and the think pieces submitted by Fuqua professors are unadorned huckster self-improvement bullshit.
    I thought most of the myths they keep puking up had been pretty savagely dismissed by Veblen a long time ago.

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  69. LAMary said on June 5, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Hey, my eighteen year old couldn’t stand high school so he’s going to community college, taking 101 level classes while getting his GED. He’s in school, making good grades. Whatever works.

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