It’s Ryan.

Looks like it’s official. New thread, cuz I know you guys are going to want to talk about that.

Posted at 7:21 am in Current events |

56 responses to “It’s Ryan.”

  1. David C. said on August 11, 2012 at 7:33 am

    I guess the bishops are now going to have to decide that starving granny is something the big J himself would have done.

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  2. coozledad said on August 11, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Romney had to make the pick this weekend because he’d fucked himself so badly during the course of the week(s). Since it absolutely had to be this weekend, it was going to be Ryan.
    Everyone knows Christie is on the toilet all weekend.

    My only question is, does Ryan get to run for and lose his house seat too, or was this was a way to trade that embarrassment for a slightly more notable one.

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  3. coozledad said on August 11, 2012 at 7:51 am

    I hear Wolf Blitzer has already generously parted his peach fuzz and bestowed the “Reaganesque” hummer on the pick. It’s a great day for mediocrities everywhere.

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  4. nancy said on August 11, 2012 at 8:16 am

    A slight diversion, for an an entertaining feature on pentathlon. Carry on.

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  5. KLG said on August 11, 2012 at 8:34 am

    If it turns out that the Zombie-eyed Grannie Starver™ really is ready for prime time, we are well and truly f*cked.

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  6. Suzanne said on August 11, 2012 at 8:39 am

    This does not make me happy because there is this deep anxiety that these people might actually get elected. I’m under 55 so I will be completely screwed in my old age without enough time to adjust.

    But this, at least, is kinda sorta good news

    Maybe some people are waking up…

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  7. Minnie said on August 11, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Aw. I’m kinda disappointed that McDonnell, our Virginia Gov. Vaginal Wand, didn’t get the nod. I’d looked forward to tossing that name around in polite company. (Or reminiscing on a topic from a couple of days ago: Gov. Puddin’ Thang Wand.)

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  8. jcburns said on August 11, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Paul Ryan has that certain Santorumness about him. Waiting for a photo-op with Romney and Ryan in matching blue and white sweater vests stepping out of the blue and white bus, tossing big handfuls of jobs out to the expectant crowds like party favors.

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  9. alex said on August 11, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Hey, it’d be pretty nifty if Ryan loses his seat and loses the White House for Romney. Sure hope it works out that way.

    I’ve been reading that Ryan was Romney’s choice because he’s one of the few people who can bridge the divide between the GOP establishment and the raging rubes. Some truth to that, no doubt, but the real story is that he’s the Koch brothers’ stooge and the decision was cast in stone even before Romney won the primary.

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  10. Deborah said on August 11, 2012 at 10:32 am

    I guess Ryan makes sense. But he doesn’t come without controversy. He will energize the base to get out and vote but whether it will make a dent in the middle is hard to say. That gap is getting wider so it’s not like a 1 or 2 point lead will win, it’s going two take making up for 10 points.

    I went on a boat trip yesterday afternoon with my husband and a bunch of his clients. He now owes me big time. I told him if he was a sugar daddy and I was his arm candy I’d be demanding a mink coat about now. It was not fun.

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  11. Charlotte said on August 11, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Via Gawker — turns out Ryan used to drive the Wienermobile:

    While I pray these guys don’t win, it does clarify things. Hard to say there’s “no difference” between the parties when you’ve got Mean vs. not-Mean.

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  12. brian stouder said on August 11, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Deborah, the boat trip itself may not have been fun, but I bet your husband had great fun trading whispers with his arm candy!

    When Pam (who got up before me) told me that Romney had made his pick, I went down my list of guesses (beginning with Portman of Ohio, of cource), and missed and missed. And when she finnlay told me it was Ryan, I couldn’t believe it!

    The traditional model is – you make the base happy in the primary, and then steer for the middle of the river in the general election; but Romney is still working on the base.

    Yes – Romney could well win the presidency, but, truly, I don’t think so.

    This looks like the bottom is out of the tub (and Ryan looks like a particularly bottomless tub, as opposed to even a stretch like the tubby governor of NJ)

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  13. brian stouder said on August 11, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Forgot to say – speaking of CNN – what the hell is wrong with Fareed Zak?

    He made a “terrible mistake”?

    Sort of the journalistic equivalent of ‘drunk, naked, and combative’

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  14. Scout said on August 11, 2012 at 11:16 am

    So, Obama & Biden vs Richie Rich & The Zombie Eyed Granny Starver. For some reason the latter team makes me think of the Thriller video. I am definitely liking our chances.

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  15. Kaye said on August 11, 2012 at 11:20 am

    Portman had other plans today – he’s on a bicycle, riding 100 miles to Gambier(hi Dorothy!)for a cancer fundraiser. I’d forgotten about the change in routing; I will make my trek north on the freeway today. No need to add any additional stress to the cyclists. Here’s hoping there will be field-fresh sweet corn availalbe at my destination since I will not be passing the veggie stands on the country roads.

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  16. garmoore2 said on August 11, 2012 at 11:39 am


    According to the Journal-Sentinel, Ryan can and will run for his House seat in addition to running for VP. Wisconsin is one of those states where someone can run for Pres or VP and still run for a House or Senate seat.

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  17. Jakash said on August 11, 2012 at 11:43 am

    I agree with Brian S., as I usually do.

    It seems clear that Romney is trying to shore up his support on the right with this choice. He was supposed to be done with that once the primaries were over. I thought that by now he was supposed to be tacking toward the middle to go for those “independents” and “undecideds”. If, at this point, he’s still trying to make sure the Tea Party will vote for him, it seems to me like it’s not a good sign for his campaign. The day Palin was picked, I thought it was about the best news Obama could have hoped for. I believe this choice will also be good for Obama’s prospects, as I don’t believe anybody who will applaud this choice wouldn’t have voted for Romney, anyway. But this could make it clear to independents that Romney is intent on being as intransigent about compromise on the budget as the Republican Congress has been.

    Of course, this could all be wishful thinking on my part…

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  18. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Maybe after the RMoney world tour and sheikh speech showed his brain to be washed clean as opposed to just washed,GOPers felt the need to add the “intellectual core” of the party to the ticket. I mean what says intelligence more than including an $11billion cut for the VA in your hallowed budget. I think RMoney saw himself being cast aside and Ryan is protection against that ludicrously cruel fate. So now they have Ruthless & Ruthless Squared, Gutting the VA to Come Nowhere Near Balancing the Budget, Because Deficits Doan Mean Dick. That VA cut will play well in Stars and Stripes.

    After the boardwalk ice cream Sopranos episode, Christie was French toast with whipped cream and half a box of confectioner’s sugar, topped with beignets. Pawlenty let the bridge fall down. Jindal looks exactly like Alfred E. Newman and talks like Barney Fife. Nikki’s a slut hiker. The rest of the possibilities are dumber than Mitt. Looking through my inbox, Dem fundraisers are happy with this one. Move-On appears to have planned for Ryan.

    Barring a complete loss of hope in any intelligent life on earth, it’s impossible to see how anybody that’s paid a lifetime worth of payroll taxes could possibly vote for these two, whose motto could be We’re Taking Your Cash Because We Can. Or anybody with parents, or grandparents.

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  19. Jeff Borden said on August 11, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    I would argue that this is the SECOND consecutive vice-presidential choice the presidential candidate did not want to make. Everyone knows John McCain wanted to have Joe Lieberman as his veep candidate, but the base wouldn’t allow it. They wanted and needed a red meat throwing trog and they got one in Mooselini.

    Romney still has issues with the conservative base and still needs to prove himself to them, but I truly doubt he wanted to choose a fairly radical politician who would pretty much like to destroy government as we know it. God, the advertisements the DNC runs will have older voters crapping their pants at the thought of this young man near the levers of power. I’d wager Romney really wanted someone with some heft on the foreign policy side, but Ryan has zero expertise in that arena.

    Hopefully, this choice will alienate independents because of Ryan’s hard right stance. We’ll need every vote we can get, though, and the state GOPers are doing everything they can to fuck over Democratic voters.

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  20. Jolene said on August 11, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    Thanks for the piece on unfamiliar horses, Nancy. Pretty much the whole world of sports is, to me, a foreign country, so I have been enjoying the “back story” pieces that have been appearing in various places over the past two weeks. The NYT has had a lot of them, as well as some terrific graphics. Just read a short piece in The New Yorker re pole vaulting, which the author portrays as high on the insanity scale, even among Olympic sports, which seem generally long om insanity.

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  21. Catherine said on August 11, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    If Romney’s trying to energize the base, I think it worked — with the Democratic base, that is.

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  22. Dave said on August 11, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    To put a lighter take on it for the handful of OU folks among us, I was surprised to learn today that Ryan went to Miami. That’s all you need to know.

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  23. coozledad said on August 11, 2012 at 2:19 pm


    Megan Carpentier ‏@megancarpentier
    The real question is which Buzzfeed reporter is going to get the first interview with one of the staffers who told me they banged Ryan.

    Panic pick. Again.

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  24. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    RMoney saw everybody, including the GOPer Old Boys and the Teabangers getting antsy, so he picked the soulless bastard they all love, in the interest of not being shitcanned for the Giger creation Newticles, or Sanctorum. The convention looks like a return to the Klown Kar, and any bizarre thing is likely to happen.

    Anna Gunns birthday:

    Iconic Breaking Bad scene. As good as acting gets on TV. Every hour of Kardashian Kafloppus (what Chelsea Handler, inexplicably, calls her own vagina) means one less of “scripted” drama.

    What will you give me?
    Say the sad bells of Romney?

    Who killed the miner? Indeed.

    cooze@22: That’s revolting. Necrophilia is so beyond the pale. Anyway, I believe Ryan is anatomically correct a la Ken and Mattel.

    Went to bed with a new book last night, Before I Go to Sleep, by S.J. Watson. I’d read good reviews, but was put off by a plot which sounded like 50 First Dates. Which I kinda like. Drew Barrymore has charms that suppress Adam Sandler’s worst excesses. Anyway, then I saw from the dust jacket that Dennis Lehane called it “Memento on crystal meth” and figured it was worth reading for that blurb alone. Boy I like Dennis Lehane. So I got 50 pp. in, captured by stylish writing and an unmistakable feeling of foreboding and dread for the heroine, when the damned electricity went out. Infuriating. But, it’s hurricane season, so we’re never far from a flashlight. I found very cool flashlights on the net that don’t use batteries. They have some bare copper wire coils and a sliding chunk of metal that goes up and down inside the coils. I’m figuring it’s a magnet, from the paucity of my understanding of physics. It’s all encased in clear plastic so you can see it work. And my WalkMan is always juiced for beach time. So I arose surreptitiously, so as not to have company. Poured a couple of inches of WL Weller and added exactly two rocks, put Roky on the Luddite music device and kept reading. 100pp later, at 3am, I snapped out of it when the glass ran dry. Damn good book, but one of those that better have a bangup denouement.

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  25. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Here’s a slogan for the GOPer ticket:

    Romney//Ryan, Making the World Safe for Blankenship/Massey

    Here’s an absolutely savage version of Bells of Rhymney I never heard before:

    As they say in MA, wikid.

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  26. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    Anybody else wonder how many years of tax returns of Ryan’s the campaign asked for?

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  27. coozledad said on August 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    He ain’t bringing Wisconsin. These folks booing Ryan? They’re his constituents.

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  28. Suzanne said on August 11, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Well, Cooze, his plans sound great…until you have to live under them.

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  29. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Here are some salient points of Ryan’s “intellectual” budget:

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  30. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    Why you can’t see Mittens’ tax returns. You wouldn’t recognize them. The rich are different from the rest of us.

    Mitt RMoney: He knows how many houses he owns. And his running mate is what passes for an intellectual GOPer.

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  31. ROGirl said on August 11, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    This move directs the conversation away from Mitt’s taxes, at least for the time being, but how it can appeal to anyone but the extremist base is a mystery to me.

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  32. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    coozledad, have you seen Rakoff’s movie, The New Tenants? A friend sent me this:

    Like the perfect Vincent D’Onofrio vehicle. Won an Academy Award. My sort of humor, tinged with menace.

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  33. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on August 11, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    You do know, of course, that if Romney HAD picked Natalie Portman as his running mate, this election would be OVER.

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  34. JWfromNJ said on August 11, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    JTMMO – Of course, being Queen Amidala of course…

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  35. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    I see what you mean Jeff, but Ms. Portman was an avid Dem campaigner in 2004 and 2008, is a vegan supporter of animal rights, suports such obviously commie causes as microlending, is both intelligent and well-educated. According to the Wiki, she worked as a research assistant for Alan Dershowitz when she was at Harvard. All this comes out and the Base might bust out of the carbonite. She was born in Jerusalem, capital of Israel, so there’s that, and she played retroactively babdized LDSer Anne Frank. Still, not a GOPer poster girl. And she was in that movie about OWS and did that ballet one about lesbos, and a French movie.

    Maybe they could have tried that NRA, death penalty ole gal, Angie Harmon. Lousy actor, pretty, but not stupid as $Pallin around with…death squads, Right Willard? Or Britney Spears, a proud GOPer from FLA, with almost no arrest record.

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  36. Catherine said on August 11, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    ROGirl, The Atlantic manages to turn the conversation back to Mitt’s taxes:

    Yeah, .82%.

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  37. Charlotte said on August 11, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Deadspin has video of the challenge of riding a strange horse — Korean pentathlete gets dumped (thankfully, gets up afterwards):

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  38. Dexter said on August 11, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    I watched Romney announce Ryan as “the NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!” Then, like a total dumbass, Romney had to again grab the mic away from Ryan and say “I make a lot of mistakes but I didn’t make a mistake with THIS GUY!…but I did mean vice president…heh heh…heh heh heh…”

    Let the carving begin! I will search the talkies tomorrow morning searching for “Serpent Head” James Carville, who has already said that Obama can’t win again…I am dying to see what he is thinking now. The Democrats have a lot of fuel now to fight with. Paul Ryan? Great! Let the shit fling!

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  39. baldheadeddork said on August 11, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    I’m still trying to understand what they were thinking?

    OK, I get the obvious reason for choosing Ryan and rushing the announcement: Romney’s campaign was in a tailspin. In the last month states that Romney needs to win like Florida, Virginia and Pennslyvania have moved from tossup to leans Obama. In the last week Romney’s national poll numbers have taken a dive. They may have done this in a panic, but they had good reason to be panicked. Romney had to arrest the fall before it dragged into his nominating convention.

    Maybe this gets Romney to stop putting his foot in his mouth and sprinkles magic competency dust on his staff so those problems go away for good. But for now everyone will stop talking about those screw-ups (until the next big gaffe) and choosing Ryan also gets the base off his ass for a day or two. The specific day of tomorrow, Sunday, August 12 looks better for Romney than it did two days ago.

    But good Lord – did anyone think through what Ryan is going to do to their chances beyond that? The GOP has two demographic anchors, white males and seniors. The approval rating among voters over 50 for Ryan’s signature Medicare voucher program is 2:1 against. Putting Ryan on the ticket makes winning Florida, Nevada and Pennsylvania significantly more difficult. But wait! Ryan also wants to turn the Veterans Administration into a voucher program and if you think civilian seniors are opposed to vouchers – wait until you talk to the vets. Which states have a lot of military retirees? North Carolina and Virginia, to name two.

    What are Romney’s chances of winning without at least four of those five states? Zero. (For perspective on where Romney/Ryan starts in these key states, Romney has trailed for the entire race in all but North Carolina, where he has a fingernail hold on a lead. He’s also trailed for the whole cycle in Ohio, Michigan and Wisconin, with the gap growing in the last month.)

    Once the dust settles on the announcement (and thanks to the botched timing and groundwork that will happen very quickly), Romney is going to go back to being the offspring of Smedley Whiplash and Forrest Gump he’s been for the entire race and his staff will return to running his campaign like it was an episode of “Ow! My Balls!” But from now on they’ll also carry the albatross of Ryan’s budget around their necks in every state that counts. Good luck with that.

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  40. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    It’s a great time to rove the internet needling conservabots. They have yet to memorize talking points about Paul Ryan, so somebody with no conscience can get away with almost anything, and it’s like teasing caged chimps with fruit and nuts. I wouldn’t do that to animals, but I’ve got no compunction nor scruples about doing it to the racist right wing rabble. I mean, when does truth ever enter into their own calculus?

    We go riding at Seahorse Stables here and can only occasionally get assigned a favorite mount. I suppose these horses are so used to such a wide variety of tourist dumbos, nothing bothers them. Of course we aren’t jumping over things either, just riding in the bosky littoral. There are snakes, gators and occasional snappers, but even these don’t seem to bother the horses. As regular customers, we are allowed to let the horses air out on the beach sometime, which is a hell of a lot of fun.

    I’m waiting for R & R to suggest company sto’s for all US employees. We’ll all owe our souls:

    For some reason, when I was a little kid, I thought Tennesse Ernie might be the coolest guy on earth.

    Dex: Carville has been fed arsenic in his eggs daily since he married Mary Matalin, I think. At least it seems to have shut her yap for the most part. And Carville does look like half a separated from birth with Voldemort.

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  41. brian stouder said on August 11, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    his staff will return to running his campaign like it was an episode of “Ow! My Balls!”

    baldheadeddork wins the thread (and breaks me up altogether)

    I will say that – just as a Romney/Ryan victory would (I believe) portend genuinely (and unnecessarily) hard times in the America I thought I knew; so to will a smashing defeat of that ticket and that governing philosophy (ie – “I got mine”; and “I did that ALL by myself”).

    I’m tempted to say that this 2012 election is like a poorly written serial drama, wherein we can see how it will inevitably end. Romney wants to make his private sector wizardry the key part of his resume’, and at the same time he now begs the president to lay off all this talk about his actual, you know, private sector record??! Talking about his record is somehow ‘dirty politics’?

    I think, if this is the tack his campaign holds firmly to, Romney/Ryan’s electoral vote total will equal just about room temperature, in the end.

    Afterall, just how many voters will be AGAINST a candidate based on that candidate’s black skin; and FOR a candidate with an irredeemably black heart? (yeah, I know – tens of millions; but as they say – always bet on the good guys. I think President Obama is going to flatten the Romney/Ryan ticket like a freshly paved stretch of interstate highway)

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  42. coozledad said on August 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    Baldheadeddork: That’s an excellent synopsis. If the Republicans didn’t run on a heavy blend of racism and the concept of a God-approved economic elect, a hell of a lot of them would be defecting at this point.
    My wife still argues with them. I keep telling her she’ll ultimately dredge up some racist sentiment, or some personal grievance that has made them stupid and forlorn, and they are too lazy to drag themselves out of it and get to work being better people.
    She has a much deeper reservoir of decency than most.

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  43. Deborah said on August 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    Their new logo

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  44. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    Afterall, just how many voters will be AGAINST a candidate based on that candidate’s black skin; and FOR a candidate with an irredeemably black heart? (yeah, I know – tens of millions; but as they say – always bet on the good guys. I think President Obama is going to flatten the Romney/Ryan ticket like a freshly paved stretch of interstate highway)

    And get to actually fixing the sorry ass roads and potentially deadly bridges. And prevent a nutcase like Robert Bork from designing the SCOTUS, and dangerous bastards like Dan Senor and the insane John Bolton from designing execrable foreign policy.

    Regarding the Ryan plan for vouchers, vouchers are always set at monetary levels that don’t reach what lower income people need and provide a bonus subsidy to people that don’t need them. That has been the GOPer game plan on everything regarding vouchers from the get go.

    The granny starver business made me laugh. Back at the glorious dawn of the southren strategy, the iconic (if I may say) GOPer crook folk hero Chuck Colson said he’d walk over his grandmama for the Great Crook Milhous. Ryan makes Colson look like a wussy. He’d let Granny die of starvation. RMoney’s plummeting personal approval ratings resulted from his apparent lack of humanity. Ryan’s a remedy for that?

    As for Ryan’s budget as albatross, agreed, but it’s depressing it wasn’t already. One of the few substantive things Windsock has said since he vanquished the other Klowns, was to voice approval of Ryan’s ugly offspring. How did that escape attention in the vacuum on policy the guy operates within?

    How is this going to play in the heartland?

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  45. Prospero said on August 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Asshole Michelle Malkin has a hilarious tweet re the Ryan pick.

    Michelle Malkin
    Pissant David Frum pisses on Paul Ryan==>

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  46. brian stouder said on August 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    Forget Eddie Munster-Ryan; Pros’ links also take one to Jennifer Lawrence with orange…what?…they call it a bra, but it looks to me like a camisole sort of thing, to me. Certainly not a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ as they suggest

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  47. brian stouder said on August 11, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    Hey Girl, It’s a Paul Ryan Tumblr

    (worth a chuckle)

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  48. Sue said on August 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    Some more chuckles for you, Brian:

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  49. Dorothy said on August 11, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    Simply fabulous day in Gambier today! I was a volunteer photographer and had a blast. Here’s what I uploaded to flickr . . . we were given a log in to post pictures with the official Pelotonia page, but apparently they must have donated space on that website and they ran out of room. They’re supposed to get more tomorrow, but I’ve had a flickr professional membership for a number of years. (I’m not a pro – they call it that if you pay for unlimited uploads – $25/year.) Anyway … enjoy:

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  50. brian stouder said on August 11, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    Sue – gotta love it! The Dancing with the Stars one was creepy and cool!

    And Dorothy – I especially liked your self-portrait; looks like you got your summer cut goin’ on.

    And your co-workers portrait was neat, and the peekaboo one was cool. Actually, they were all good stuff!

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  51. Sue said on August 11, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Charles Pierce weighs in:

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  52. brian stouder said on August 11, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    Sue, that is a tremendous link; thanks!

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  53. Kaye said on August 11, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    Nice photos Dorothy, thanks for sharing. I think Team Stephanie is wearing white shirts with pink trim. The pink shirts are Limited Brands folks. Maybe I’ll work toward riding next year. Well, maybe I’ll work toward volunteering next year; that is much more likely to happen!

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  54. Sherri said on August 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    I’d like to see just one of the bishops who threatened to withhold communion from Kerry do the same to Ryan over his steal from the poor to give to the rich budget plan. It’s just not possible to resolve Ayn Rand Objectivism and any type of Christianity I’m familiar with, much less Catholicism.

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  55. Dexter said on August 12, 2012 at 4:03 am

    baldheadeddork: brilliant! Right on.

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  56. Bitter Scribe said on August 13, 2012 at 10:19 am

    In its editorial lauding the choice, the Chicago Tribune used the word “serious” or variants thereof about half a dozen times (I don’t have it in front of me) and “vouchers” not once. I expect David Brooks and the rest of the fanboys to hold to that ratio.

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